every breath

Game over!Quickly open the door for me, Qin Xuanyang!

Zhuang Yu aggressively knocked on the door of the 507 dormitory in the West Building.

It was approaching dinner time, and the doors of the surrounding dormitories were closed. I don't know if there was no one there or everyone went out to eat.Zhuang Yu patted the door panel of 507, and there was a long "wait a minute" from inside.

The door was opened a crack, Qin Xuanyang's messy hair revealed half of his face: "Do you mind waiting outside, I haven't—"

"I really mind!" Zhuang Yu, who was already in a bad mood, pushed the door open with a snap, and Qin Xuanyang staggered back a step, revealing his naked upper body hidden behind the door.

Seeing the naked body of a stranger suddenly without warning, Zhuang Yu backed away in shock: "Damn! Why don't you wear clothes!"

Qin Xuanyang, who was only wearing pajama pants, shrugged helplessly: "I just woke up, and I wanted you to wait outside so that I can put on my shirt. Who knows you are so impatient. Come in and have a seat?"

"Forget it!" He quickly turned his gaze away, "Hurry up and put on your clothes."

"Well, then I'll change first." He turned and walked in, pulled a pair of jeans from the bed, and started to take off his pajama pants.

The problem is, the door was still open, and Zhuang Yu who was standing outside the door could clearly see all his actions. Once again, he felt a great shock in his heart, and he couldn't help gnashing his teeth: "Bastard, why are you changing clothes?" Do not close the door!"

After Qin Xuanyang put on his pants, he turned his head indifferently: "What does it matter, they are all men. You have what I have."

Before Zhuang Yu could refute with black lines all over his head, he added another sentence: "Anyway, you are my boyfriend, so it won't hurt you to see it."

Zhuang Yu's roar was deafening: "Who is your boyfriend now!"

He changed his clothes with a relaxed expression, picked up the key to close the door, and then put his hands on Zhuang Yu's shoulders and walked out: "You haven't eaten dinner yet, I know a restaurant that is worth recommending. "

Zhuang Yu shook off his hand in disgust, and kept a distance of two meters from him: "Stay away from me, I'm just here to get my meal card back. Return my meal card."

"Don't worry, we'll talk about the meal card after dinner."

"I won't have dinner with you. Ka!" Zhuang Yu spread his palms in front of him, very stubbornly, "Come again."

He sighed helplessly, put the key in his hand, and pointed to the closed dormitory door: "It's inside, on my desk."

Zhuang Yu took the key unceremoniously, quickly opened the door, and walked inside.The dormitory was clean, and the other beds were packed up. It seemed that the other roommates had already left school and went home.Only some sundries were placed on the table closest to the balcony, and he saw that his meal card was placed in a conspicuous position in the center.

As soon as he walked over to pick up the card, he heard a "click" and the door was closed.

Qin Xuanyang leaned against the gate, blocking his way: "I think we should have a good chat."

"I have nothing to talk to you about." Finally getting back the meal card, Zhuang Yu quickly stuffed it back into his pocket.But Qin Xuanyang's expression did not seem to let him go easily.

"Hey, go away."

"Let's have a chat." Qin Xuanyang simply dragged a chair and sat down directly against the back of the door, completely blocking his way, "I don't think you have seriously considered dating me. "

"Dating? Me and you?" Just hearing this word, Zhuang Yu started to get goosebumps.

Am I stupid for thinking seriously about this kind of thing?

"Is there a third person in this room?"

Zhuang Yu raised his hands: "I'm not interested in boys, and I'm even less interested in you."

"This is better." Qin Xuanyang showed a puzzling smile, "I'm not interested in you either."

"Then what do you want to pester me all day long? Are you idle and bored with nothing to do?"

"Yes, I have too much time and I'm bored. I want to find something to pass the time."

Zhuang Yu was speechless: "You are crazy!"

Unexpectedly, the other party was not angry at all, but accepted it with a smile: "Yes, I am sick. So you can treat it as charity."

"If you are sick, go to a doctor quickly, and don't bother innocent civilians like me. I am neither a doctor nor a homosexual, why are you pestering me!"

"I'm not gay either."

"Then go find a girl and play house!"

"That's not okay, what if I'm serious?" When he spoke, his expression was very sincere.

Damn, what do you mean you can't be serious when you're with me?

Although Zhuang Yu felt that it was troublesome to be liked by boys, he still felt very uncomfortable when he was said so. His inexplicable masculine self-esteem appeared inexplicably at such an inexplicable moment.

"It's none of my business whether you take it seriously or not! Don't drag me into your boring house-playing games! I won't accompany you!"

Qin Xuanyang rested her chin and looked at him meaningfully: "Didn't you just break up in love? I think the two of us are just right, we can get what we need."

"Whatever you want?"

"I'm so bored and want to find someone to pass the time with, but I don't want the other person to be serious about this relationship. It just so happens that you are broken up and still unable to get out of the shadow of the previous relationship. If there is someone by your side at this time Isn't it good to distract you? We don't need to be serious about each other, and it's impossible to be serious. In this way, isn't it just getting what we need?"

This is the most ridiculous plan that Zhuang Yu has ever heard in his life.

Can anyone really be this bored?

He began to deeply question the sanity of the person in front of him: "Everyone will be bored sometimes, but normal people will use other methods to pass the time. Your IQ can only think of this method?"

Qin Xuanyang smiled: "I have no choice, I just want to find someone to accompany me. I am a person who is particularly afraid of being lonely."

Afraid of loneliness, but also afraid of sincerity.What a contradictory person this is.

Zhuang Yu couldn't understand his brain circuit at all: "I refuse."

"You can think about it, you don't need to answer in such a hurry."

"Don't think about it, I refuse." His eyes were firm.

Qin Xuanyang sighed: "Okay then."

Without further insistence, he moved the chair away and opened the door.

Zhao Xiaolang left school to go home on the fourth day after his trip to the seaside, Zhuang Yu was the only one left in the dormitory.He slept until after 11 o'clock, packed up and went out to eat, and then nestled in the dormitory in front of the computer or watched movies or played games after eating. After living a decadent life until the third day, he finally couldn't stand it anymore. .

The cause was a phone call from my mother.On the other end of the phone, she asked Zhuang Yu when she would be home.

Zhuang Yu was not good at communicating with his mother since he was a child. His family lives in a foreign city, and his mother always likes to chat with him when he comes home from vacation. When he returns to school, he can talk to himself on the phone once a month. 10 minutes, although they come and go, "The weather has been cold recently, remember to wear more clothes to keep warm." "I saw the weather forecast. It's over 30 degrees in your area. Don't go out if you have nothing to do." "It's time to eat. No, why haven’t you eaten yet? Hurry up and eat.” “Eating supper at night is bad for your stomach. How many times have I told you not to always eat those junk foods?” “Did you eat the food I asked you to take home last time? Hurry up and eat it, or you will get moldy, remember to share it with your roommates"... Zhuang Yu can already memorize such homely nagging.He knew that his mother was concerned about him, the only son who was studying abroad alone, so he could patiently chat with her a few words on weekdays.

But that day was really bad timing.

Perhaps because of the broken relationship, Zhuang Yu was already in a bad mood in those few days, coupled with the midsummer season, the hot and dry air outside, and the loneliness of being alone in the room, let him hear his mother urging him to hurry back The nagging at home is very annoying.

Unknowingly, the tone became a little aggressive: "I see, didn't I say that I still have to write a thesis and stay in school, and I will go back when I finish writing it. Why are you so annoying!"

The mother on the other end seemed to be a little angry: "I'm annoying you because I'm worried about you! We agreed to return on the [-]th, and it's already the [-]th. If you want to stay in school and fall in love, you can go straight to the school." Come on, I'm not a patriarch in a feudal society, and I won't object!"

"Where did I say that I'm in a relationship? Can you stop guessing?" The topic came to this out of nowhere, and Zhuang Yu became even more irritable.

"Can I not know what you are thinking, I have worked so hard to raise you for so many years, and now I am so angry when I say two words to my mother, it seems that after the daughter-in-law gets married, there will be no mother in my eyes! "

"Can you stop talking nonsense, I don't—"

"I don't care about your business anymore, you won't come back if you like!" The mother must have been angry, and she hung up the phone after saying this.

Zhuang Yu finally saw the irritability of menopausal women.

He originally wanted to make a phone call and go back to coax her, but he was also depressed at the moment.I don't know if calling back will make the situation worse, so I want to wait until the evening when everyone's anger subsides and try again.

But disturbed by this phone call, he couldn't stay alone in the dormitory anymore.

He rubbed his hair, tidied up casually, and went out.

But it turned out that going out was an extremely stupid decision.

Not only because of the high temperature of nearly 37 degrees outside, the heat in the air made him even more irritable - from the few passers-by on the school road, it can be seen that going out is really a stupid decision - but also because, just as he was While walking under the shade of the trees on the school road, his ex-girlfriend walked up to him.

Xu Xiuying, with her long hair tied into a ponytail, was wearing a simple white shirt and shorts, walking here with a small backpack on her back.Walking side by side with her was a boy who was a head taller than her. While joking with her, the boy dragged a suitcase and walked towards the school gate with her.

I met Zhuang Yu on a narrow road, she said a few words to the boy, and the boy went to the school gate first.She walked over to Zhuang Yu generously: "You still stay at school, don't you want to go home?"

Zhuang Yu glanced at the boy's back and felt a little uncomfortable: "You come back now?"

She nodded: "Well, I'm done, let's go home for the summer vacation."

Seeing that Zhuang Yu still cared a little about that boy, she explained first: "That's a fellow from my hometown, with the same major as me. Let's go back together."

"I didn't misunderstand." Zhuang Yu lied, "Anyway, we are just ordinary friends now. I have no right to ask about your affairs."

Xu Xiuying snorted: "Didn't you ask me a lot when we were dating? I really didn't feel that I was in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship with you. No matter how I fell in love with you, I felt like ordinary friends. No. I really misread you, Zhuang Yu, I always thought you would be a good boyfriend."

Zhuang Yu didn't feel embarrassed when he was told the words of criticism so bluntly. He sighed: "I'm really sorry."

"It's too late to say anything now. You will never meet such an excellent girlfriend as me. Now we can only be friends." Xu Xiuying did not boast. She is a top student in the music department. The popularity among boys has always been high.Seeing Zhuang Yu's awkward smile, she added: "But to be honest, Zhuang Yu, a passive person like you is really not suitable to be someone else's boyfriend."

"Okay, I already fully understand how unqualified I am as a boyfriend." Not wanting to continue on this topic, Zhuang Yu pointed to the boy waiting at the school gate, "Your hometown is still waiting for you, Go home quickly."

Xu Xiuying patted him on the shoulder, showing a playful smile: "Really, if you want to fall in love next time, maybe it would be better to find someone who is stronger and more proactive."

Although the suggestion from my ex-girlfriend came from the heart, I still felt uncomfortable listening to it.Zhuang Yu answered jokingly: "Didn't you doubt my orientation last time? According to you, I should find a man?"

"I was angry last time, so I said some angry words. But you can try it too."

The last sentence was obviously Xu Xiuying's joke, Zhuang Yu didn't want to pay attention to it, waved goodbye to her, then turned and walked on.

But as he walked, all the irritable emotions rushed into his heart along with the suffocating heat.

Xu Xiuying's joking tone caused him to think about his failures in the first two relationships, and his mother's nagging phone calls reminded him of his negative and decadent life during this period.Looking at the high and blue summer sky, he thought that after this summer, he would devote himself to the tide of internship and job hunting, and the confusion and helplessness about the future emerged strongly for a while.

He suddenly felt a deep sense of powerlessness.

Then, he thought of Qin Xuanyang inexplicably, and remembered the words he said that day in his dormitory with a dejected and meaningful smile:

No way, I just want to find someone to accompany me.I am a person who is very afraid of being alone.

Who is not?On the long and short journey of life, I am afraid of facing the unknown future alone, and always want to find someone to accompany me.

It seems that if you have someone to rely on, you won't be lonely.

What a fantastic illusion.

He knocked on the door of West Building 507 again, but this time, he was no longer aggressive, and no longer had a fierce look in his eyes.

Qin Xuanyang opened the door and was a little surprised to see him: "What's the matter, I remember that the school card has been returned to you."

Zhuang Yu's tone was surprisingly calm: "Does what you said a few days ago still count?"

Qin Xuanyang was stunned for a while, and then slowly smiled: "Of course, have you figured it out?"

"Anyway, I'm bored during this time, I can play with you." Zhuang Yu wrung his hands and looked at him without any emotion.

"Well, let me reiterate that if you have any objections, you can raise them." Qin Xuanyang leaned on the door frame and looked at him with a smile. "We each take what we need, and neither side should be serious. Once someone is serious, we must End Game."

"So, this is a game?"

"Yes, is there a problem?"

Zhuang Yu pursed his lips. He didn't nod or smile, but his tone was very calm: "No problem. It's just what I want."

At that time, they all said to themselves: It's just playing house.

Just to create an illusion that we are not alone, that we still have a future, that's all.

No one will take it seriously, no one will take it seriously.

What a fantastic illusion.