every breath

"It's not fun to be in a relationship."

In the study room, Yuan Chen said while shaking his head, still maintaining the posture of sitting on the swivel chair with his knees bent and facing the computer.

Zhuang Yu, who was looking for books on the shelf next to her, listened and turned to look at her: "Why do you say that?"

Yuanchen looked distressed and worried, and spread out his right hand and began to count: "Think about it, first of all, it is a very small probability to meet someone who can talk with each other—for When you meet him, you have to keep socializing and expand your circle of friends. Isn’t that troublesome? Secondly, even if you meet him, the probability that you like him and he likes you is very small—in order for him to like you You, you have to keep showing your good side in front of him and getting close to him, isn't it troublesome? Again, even if you two are in love, there will inevitably be many frictions when two people are in love, and when the time comes to quarrel and make up , Fighting and reconciling again, won't it consume energy and trouble?"

Yuan Chen has already retracted three fingers, and it seems that he still wants to talk incessantly.

"Fourth, even after you have experienced countless quarrels and reconciled, you still feel that the other party is your destiny, and you decide to bind each other with a marriage certificate. But after marriage, there are conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the upbringing of children Problems, quarrels with relatives who are away during the Chinese New Year, all kinds of conflicts are more or less, isn't it troublesome?"

She put away her ring finger as she spoke, and finally sighed: "Besides, we women often have to pay more than men in marriage. Therefore, I will never get married."

After she finished speaking, she turned her whole hand into a fist and blinked at Zhuang Yu.

Zhuang Yu thought about her words carefully, and felt that what she said was quite reasonable.

"Aunt and Uncle know what you think?"

Yuan Chen shrugged: "They know that, at the beginning they would persuade me to say nonsense such as getting married and having children, but they persuaded me, and I also advised them. Over time, they knew that I had made up my mind, so they stopped caring gone."

Zhuang Yu picked up a book with a gray cover from the bookshelf, and said, "That's also good."

"What about you?" She raised her head from the computer and looked straight at Zhuang Yu, "According to my experience, as soon as you graduate from college, parents will start to help their children talk about love and marriage. You should have been urged too ?”

He smiled helplessly: "It is true...but..."

The right hand rubbed the gray cloth of the book, and the fingertips touched a rough and gentle texture.

"...But I don't want to think about these things right now."

Yuan Chen looked at him for a while, then suddenly said: "Have you been injured?"

Zhuang Yu was startled: "Why do you say that?"

"A woman's intuition, I don't know why, you give me that feeling." Yuan Chen waved his hand, "But...you don't want to say it, just treat me as nonsense."

There was a wry smile from the corner of his mouth, but he didn't know how to respond.

Was he hurt?

Does that count as an injury?

I don't know how to define it, let alone how to tell others about the intricate relationship between him and Qin Xuanyang.

It started with a summer joke, a game born of loneliness.I thought it would end just right in the end, and the two sides said goodbye to each other chicly, but I didn't expect it to evolve into today's situation.

He rests his hand on the cloth of the book, as if seeking small comforts.

It's like quietly looking up at a beam of light in the distance in the dark.

Like a holy, humble prayer.

In the afternoon, they went to the old neighborhood.

The destination is near Zhou Chuyao's home, Qin Xuanyang's home.

Although Yuanyang had prepared him psychologically in advance, he had repeatedly reminded him that Qin Xuan's Yang family had been abandoned.But when he actually saw the abandoned house, he still felt an indescribable depression in his heart.

In the summer sun, his face was flushed red.

He stood in front of a house in the old neighborhood, looking at the white abandoned house silently.

The old neighborhood street is very quiet.The successive removals of old residents made this street decline rapidly. Every household here is still like other places in Yongchuan Town: blue tiles and white walls, but the gardens and vegetable fields in front of the yard and behind the house have long been barren, instead of being overgrown. Without weeds, it is full of abandoned construction timber.

Those houses have been in disrepair for a long time and were forgotten by people in the wind and rain. Grass seeds fell into the cracks of the tiles and slowly grew against the sun. The seeds of wildflowers were blown here by the wind, and they took root and sprouted in the soil.

They grow and bloom alone, with no one to tend them.Like this gradually decaying house, it slowly becomes a part of nature.

The Qin family's house is the same. After more than ten years of abandonment, the yard is full of weeds, the porch and window lattices are also rotten, and the house where the sun does not shine, only the dust that accumulates day after day is silently flying.

Looking at the white house, Zhuang Yu felt a pang of sadness in his heart.

There is no wind.

Nothing at all.

he's not here.

Yuan Yang, who accompanied him, looked at the knee-high grass in the yard, and shook his head: "It seems that he really never came back."

Zhou Chuyao, who was leading the way for them, still looked at the room expressionlessly, and said, "It's been 12 years, and I probably won't be back."

Yuan Yang also looked at Zhuang Yu with some disappointment: "Brother Zhuang, do you have any other clues to find Qin Xuanyang? The phone number or something, Yong Chuan probably has no chance."

He shook his head, looked at the house silently for a while, and then slowly said: "Forget it, he may not want to see me."

After speaking, he turned around and walked westward rather lonely.

"Brother Zhuang, where are you going? This is the way home!" Yuan Yang shouted, but Zhuang Yu responded lightly: "I'll go for a walk at the foot of the mountain, and I'll be back later."

"Then I'll be with you—" Yuan Yang wanted to follow up ignorant of current affairs, but was stopped by Zhou Chuyao: "Let him go."

"But he's not familiar with the place..."

"I'll take a good look at him, you go back first." She stopped Yuan Yang who wanted to follow, "I have something to tell him."

Yuanyang felt strange, but he couldn't disobey Zhou Chuyao, so he had to stay where he was.

Zhou Chuyao turned around and followed Zhuang Yu's footsteps, the sound of cicadas became louder and louder.

Zhuang Yu walked aimlessly, and soon came to the river yesterday.The water level has dropped to normal levels and the meadows along the river are lush with greenery.He stopped under the shade of a tree - right where Zhou Chuyao was playing the harmonica yesterday.

"What tune did you play yesterday?" He asked back.

Zhou Chuyao stopped some distance away from him, the sun shone on her face, making her indifferent face look extraordinarily bright and attractive.

"Green sleeves, British folk songs." She took out a harmonica from her pocket and handed it to Zhuang Yu, "Here are you."

Zhuang Yu accepted the harmonica with some doubts. The harmonica seemed to be quite old. It was small and seemed to be used by children.

The breeze gently blew her long hair, and she looked straight into Zhuang Yu's eyes: "This is Qin Xuanyang's harmonica. He gave it to me when I moved."

His hands trembled slightly.

"It was he who taught me to play the harmonica at the beginning. He lived next door at that time. When I was young, I could hear the sound of the harmonica coming from the yard of his house every evening. Later, I got to know him gradually, and he taught me to play the harmonica. I have some simple tunes."

He rubbed the cold metal of the harmonica, which gleamed brightly in the sun.

Zhou Chuyao continued: "I knew you were Qin Xuanyang's friend last night, so I wanted to ask you something, but it was inconvenient for Sister Chen and the others to be there at the time."

"what do you wish to ask?"

She asked: "He left Yongchuan after graduating from primary school, and I haven't seen him since then. I just want to know how he is doing in college, is he happy?"

Zhuang Yu smiled slightly: "I haven't really been with him for long, only one summer."

There is only one summer, and the man dyes the whole season in his color.

"Even if it's just a small thing, tell me about it." Zhou Chuyao was still persistent, "I want to know what kind of person he became later."

The scorching wind was blowing from the front, carrying memories flooding in. He wanted to pretend to speak easily, but before he spoke, his eyes were already wet.

"I don't know how to describe him either. When he was with me, he was always fooling around. I don't know which of his words is true and which is false."

"He lied to you?"

He nodded: "Of course, he was lying to me in the end."

Under the bright summer sun, his voice was trembling, as fragile as if it was about to be torn apart by the wind.

"Let me think that one day, he will come back."

Hey, Qin Xuanyang, where are you?come back please

However, the high summer sky was silent and said nothing.

Even the wind was silent.

He closed his eyes.

Qin Xuanyang, can you go home?