Male heart trembling

After Mr. Tang left, I couldn't calm down for a long time. I don't know why, but I always felt that I would lose him.Our identities are too far apart, we are too unfamiliar with each other's lives, we only have skin-to-skin contact, but we have never had a serious chat. All these have created the idea that we will feel like we are about to lose him today.

Even though he was still gentle to me, even though I was lying on the bed at his house, even though he told me not to think about it, my heartbeat clearly told me that worry and fear were my main emotions now.

Even, there is no ability to self-comfort.

Waiting, long waiting, waiting for his return.

When I am with him, I always have to wait, whether I am waiting for him in Tang La Yaxiu's room, or waiting for him in the car, or waiting for him at his home, I will always be waiting for him.This is the main theme of my relationship with him, and there is no possibility of any deviation.

I lay listlessly on the bed, not in the mood to dress, eat, or watch TV. I let myself lie on his bed with no muscles and bones, looking for the smell left by Mr. Tang on the pillow.

Compared with the fragrance of nature and the charm of perfume, Mr. Tang's scent can be found on the pillow, which is the most seductive, comforting, and disturbing existence.

A very thin quilt lay across my waist, covering my shyness from being pryed by outsiders.Once upon a time, I was so ashamed to show it in front of Mr. Tang, but now, I want it to be held in Mr. Tang's hand, warm in his mouth, as long as he likes it, I will bloom it for him, lingering at will .

As long as he can come back and like me.

In essence, I still feel that I have no ability to attract Mr. Tang, except my body.My body becomes the capital for me to stay by his side. As long as he still likes him for a day, I can stay for a day, not for money, just to fill my love for him.

I understand that I don't have the ability to be an equal partner with him. If I can stay, I have to admit my passive relationship.But this doesn't make me feel ashamed, as long as I can stay by Mr. Tang's side, I am willing to live in shame.

I waited wildly, time was meaningless to me, and the self-esteem I was afraid of being shattered became worthless.Wait, become long, become distant, become towering, become daunting.

But after all, Mr. Tang came back.He stood at the door of the bedroom, looking at me lying on the bed.I looked haggard, probably in a panic, which surprised him.

"Exactly, what's the matter with you?" he asked me.

I looked up, like a beggar with deformed hands and feet, like seeing a fairy on a cold winter night before he was about to freeze to death, yearning and hoping that the dream would come true.

"Boss, you are finally back." I said.

He walked over directly, hugged the sensitive me in his arms, caressed my back rudely and delicately, and said, "You've been waiting for me like this for so long?"

I nodded aggrievedly and rubbed against his chest.I don't know why I have become so sensitive, why I feel that I will lose him, why I am so hypocritical, why there is no strength and stubbornness at all.

"Just right, I want to tell you something." He said: "But don't be afraid, I don't want you anymore, but I hope we can get closer."

I blinked and looked at him, only to suddenly realize that his complexion was not good-looking, and his eyes were a little red, as if he had just cried.

What is it that makes this big man who looks high, extremely strong, consistent and confident, become sluggish, depressed, and even red-eyed?

I realized that I shouldn't seek his care anymore, because his mood at the moment may not be much better than mine.I'm going to stop taking and turn to giving.

Mr. Tang said in a low voice: "I just ended a period... a relationship that can be called a relationship..."