wild love theory

118.

Qi Qing had cried so many times, but when Tang Yiqu made a decision for him, he was uncharacteristically unable to shed a single tear.A huge powerlessness came down silently, pressing him into the bottom of the water, and then the water stains trickled over him, hollowing out his flesh.

Xu Huansen walked in and looked at him from a distance.

Qi Qing also looked at him blankly.

The distance between them was obviously very short, but they had no strength to get any closer.

It seemed that suddenly, their connection was cut off, and reality buried them silently like an avalanche.

"You need to recover well." Xu Huansen showed an ugly smile.

It has begun, Qi Qing thought.He's about to start saying goodbye to me.

Outside the window is the boundless morning sun, but this ward is like sinking into the sea, cold and damp, with many tentacles protruding from the bottom of the sea, climbing onto their skin, piercing into the blood like needles, no matter what you do, it will be useless. Together they were executed stiffly by the sea.

It hurts so much, it hurts so much that all the strength is leaked out, it hurts so much that I can't even tell what the pain is.

Even if it's farewell, they have to say something, but what should they say?

Xu Huansen thought that their meeting was a short period in their lives, and they hugged each other's misplaced short period, coveting the short-term tenderness, almost believing it was true.Tang Yiqu's intervention only allowed the expected ending to arrive ahead of schedule.

"Xu Huansen," Qi Qing said hoarsely, "Are you... willing to take me away?"

Xu Huansen froze for a moment, opened his mouth slightly, and his black pupils swelled in fear.

Qi Qing caught this distant but sharp fear.Not only was he in pain, but now he was more disappointed. He forced him to fall in love with him, asked him to care about him like walking on thin ice, wanted him to truly fall in love with him in this short period of time, but didn't want him to underestimate him, but In the end, it all came to nothing.Xu Huansen's expression clearly told him, what are you talking about, are you crazy?However, Xu Huansen came over and hugged him tightly.Hugging him so tightly seems to be saying that he is actually reluctant to part with it, and he is clearly enduring suffering.

"Qi Qing, I admit that I can't do it...but you have to believe that I can't do it because I don't want to do it. Even if we lose contact in the future, it's different when you are with me. You Say you've never met anyone like me, neither have I, and I've never met anyone like you. Last night, I was thinking how do we go on, it's really hard, harder than we think A lot, the two of us get together, and in the end we can’t resist anything, and we can’t let go of anything. If we stay together like this regardless, in fact, no problems will be solved, right?

"Don't blame your father, I thought about it, if my mother came to ask me to do this, I might agree. We seem to have a lot of things, but in fact, we have nothing if we leave our parents... ..I didn’t dare to fall in love before. I never fell in love because I was afraid of losing myself. Losing myself for another person is really too stupid. I just want to take the initiative in my own hands and don’t want to worry about gains and losses for others. I am very Selfish, right. I have figured it out a long time ago, I will not pay anything for anyone in this life, and I don’t need others to pay for me, but when you came, it shook my concept. I have plans for you , not just sex, but I don't want to admit it, I've been struggling subconsciously...I want to keep myself from being disadvantaged, I'm quite naive, right? More naive than you... During the time I was with you, I was really happy, maybe I won’t be so happy in the future. No, I have no right to be happy anymore.”

Xu Huansen's words fell softly like raindrops, but the beating made Qiqing's heart constrict.He didn't dare to move, for fear that if he moved, the armor wrapped around his body would split, and then those raindrops rushed in and drowned him.

"I see," Qi Qing snuffed out her hope, "Since we are going to break up, let's not miss each other anymore. Xu Huansen, I don't need you to remember me, I will try my best to forget you, after all ..." Qi Qing choked for a moment, and said the last sentence against her will, "We must make room for the people who come later."

119.

There was no farewell, the ward was the last position they had, but it turned into a desolate wasteland in the end, and they left each other from this wasteland without looking back.

Xu Huansen ordered a helicopter to fly back to Antarctica, and there was still finishing work to be done.The helicopter took him away a little bit, and the city shrank a little bit under his eyes. He felt that he didn't have to walk, his feet were hanging in the air, and he didn't touch the land in this city at all.Although it was only 36 hours, he seemed to be in a dream all the time, and Qi Qing's hug fixed the dream so vigorously that he couldn't even remember what kind of expression Qi Qing used at the end of the dream break up with him.The only thing he could remember was that he didn't cry, and he didn't cry when something went wrong as usual.

Xu Huansen unconsciously touched his face, his eyes were wet.This moisture spread unknowingly, making the whole face cold and bitter.

It turned out that he was crying.

A cyan light came in from outside the porthole, making him so dazed that he couldn't open his eyes.Xu Huansen suddenly understood that they really had to part this time, like souls that had been beaten back to their original forms, and there was nowhere to hide when they were illuminated by the sky.He tried his best to look out the glass window, and saw a huge sun, enough to melt the world, and he stared at it quietly, not caring that his eyes would be burned.Now, he finally found an excuse for crying, because the sun was too glaring, because he foolishly looked directly at the sun.

120.

Tang Yiqu didn't enter the ward until Xu Huansen left completely.Qi Qing didn't notice his footsteps at all, she just lowered her head dejectedly, not caring about her surroundings.Tang Yiqu walked up to him, feeling for a moment whether what he had done was too cruel.Qi Qing finally found a shadow covering her head, she raised her head abruptly, and met Tang Yiqu's mixed eyes.

"I've completed the discharge procedures." Tang Yiqu said in a business-like manner, "I'll accompany you back to China to deal with work matters, and then we'll fly to San Francisco to recuperate."

Qi Qing didn't speak, only indifference on his face.

"Zai Zai," Tang Yiqu looked at his gloomy face, feeling uncomfortable, "Old Han finished his work and went to meet us in San Francisco. Didn't you say that you really want to go to Las Vegas? Is it? When you can move around, we will go with you, okay? Don’t you still want to buy a car? Lao Han got another one this year... I will give it to you directly when the time comes, how about it... ...."

"Father!" Qi Qing roared suddenly, "I don't need it! I don't want any of these!"

"Then you want..." something.

Why bother to ask, knowing a son is like a father, how could he not know what he wants.

"Xu Huansen, give me back Xu Huansen, okay, Dad—" Qi Qing shivered his shoulders, and swallowed back the two balls of moisture from his eyes, he was constantly collapsing, not only his body , and heart, and all the pride left behind.For so long, he had told himself not to break down this self-esteem easily, even in front of Xu Huansen, he had to hold on.But his father came, and he could make him lose his shape in a calm way that he didn't know.

Tang kept silent, looking at Qi Qing's fragility with pity.This fragility reminded him of Qi Qing's sad appearance when his beloved toy was lost when he was a child.He croaked and made a fuss, and locked himself in the room, preventing him and Han Wei from getting any closer.Now, he has grown so tall, but in an instant, he still turned into that kid back then.He is not the kind of unreasonable parent, half angry and half tentative, he put forward harsh demands on Xu Huansen.Xu Huansen was very quiet, so quiet that he hesitated, was it a bit unreasonable and reckless to do this by himself.But Xu Huansen didn't show any more expression, just drooped his head, avoiding his sight, and said in a low voice, I understand.

Qi Qing was almost caught on the plane, just like he was carried into the hospital before.His mind was empty, and his body sank into the wheelchair, unable to move.He opened his mouth, trying to drive away the bewilderment, but found that he couldn't make a sound at all.He remembered that when he left the hospital, he looked back, and he wanted to find the ward he lived in through the same glass window.But every window is so similar, no one is special, and it is impossible to tell which window is the moonlight through which accommodates him and Xu Huansen.He suddenly regretted why he had to be brave, say something against his will, and drive away Xu Huansen.Xu Huansen didn't want to persist any longer, so he just had to fight and persevere, wouldn't it be all right?They have experienced so much together, even went through life and death together, almost reached the exit, but gave up here, how could he be reconciled?

"Open the door, let me go down! Let me go down!"

Qi Qing suddenly struggled to get up from the seat, he forgot that he had an injured leg, the moment he jumped up, he could only fall down.He was not reconciled, and he wanted to crawl over even if he crawled. Under the blank stares of everyone who didn't have time to react, he crawled to the hatch door.

Two men came over and took his arms, trying to put him back in the seat again.

"Take it easy, take it easy, don't hurt him..."

He heard Tang Yiqu's voice, anxious.How could he have the nerve to say not to hurt him, it was his appearance that made everything irreparable.But he can't hate him, he has to digest the hatred for him, then he can only hate himself, and cannot forgive himself.

He refused to leave, clinging to the edge of the cold iron door, and pressed his face against it, tears streaming down his face, loathing himself.

"Let me go down, let me find him..."

He knew that he was just pleading in vain, the sound of the rumbling engine warming up was already echoing empty in his ears, and it would not take long before everything would be taken into the sky and buried in the clouds.

"Zaizai," Tang Yiqu came over, squatted down, and hugged him, "Don't be like this, okay, if you feel this way, your father will also feel uncomfortable, don't you even care about your father?"

When such a heavy word was pressed down, it trembled and he was almost suffocated.

"sorry Sorry......."

Qi Qing cried intermittently, just like when she was a child and apologized to Tang Yiqu after she did something wrong.

There was nothing he could do for himself now, he could only tremble nervously, and be a child again.This was his end, the end he should have known.