Live separately

02.

I didn't remember or didn't understand what he said at all, so I got into the car with him, my whole body was drenched, I couldn't tell whether it was tears or rain on my face, Qiu Huo still didn't show any signs of receding, the heater was turned on in the car, and I But still trembling.

He drove to the nearest hotel, I was numb like a machine, let him lead me, when I got to the room, I was still standing, he went straight to the bathroom, the water sounded, and he came out again soon, he said yes As I said something, I saw his mouth closed and opened, but he seemed to have lost his comprehension and didn't know anything. It wasn't until he took me to the bathroom, and I looked at the tub of hot water, that I realized he was telling me to go soak Soak, don't catch a cold.Look, this is the person I love, he can be so considerate at this time!He backed out, and I heard him go out and close the door.I closed the bathroom door without taking off the clothes that had been soaked for a long time, stepped into the bathtub, curled up in a corner, the hot water surrounded me, the dim light hit my face, and many images began to flash in my mind, Everything faintly reveals despair, and I suddenly want to die. I can imagine such a scene, just cut a knife on the wrist, just let the blood flow out, soak a tank of clear water, watch it slowly turn from pink to red, and then Just relieved.

My mind started to run wild, and my thoughts became farther and farther away. After an unknown period of time, my head became dizzy and unconscious, and my body slipped down the edge of the bathtub. I soon felt suffocated, but my mind was still strange. The calm, to be relieved, I even thought.

Suddenly there was a cry in my ears, it seemed that someone hugged me, as if I was put on the bed, who was slapping my face, whose tears were hitting my face, I tried hard to open my eyes, but I was confused. Dazed and powerless, finally a gleam of light came out, it turned out that he was back, he was obviously relieved when I opened my eyes, I looked at his face and suddenly my stomach churned, and I lay on the bedside and vomited in a mess.He panicked again, and quickly patted my back to help me breathe, and wiped me clean with a bath towel.

After throwing up, I looked very weak, but I didn't have the slightest appetite, and he didn't eat anything. He just made a glass of cold medicine for me to drink, and I didn't realize that he went out to buy this.After drinking it, I don't know if it was because of the effect of the medicine or because my body recovered its functions. My body gradually warmed up, and I fell asleep again feeling dizzy.

It was already night when I woke up, and I had changed all my clothes, wrapped in a hotel bathrobe.The rain outside seemed to have stopped a long time ago, and the sky after the rain was bright with starlight and moonlight. There was no light in the room, but it was enough for me to see clearly under the moonlight.He was bare-chested, one arm was under my head, the other was around my head, I was completely leaning against his arms, I could smell his breath in my breath, and I could feel his body emanating from my face. I feel inexplicably stable and relaxed, but I know this will be the last time I grab the temperature of this embrace.

The faint sobbing sound surprised me. He was still awake and crying.I listened in silence for a long time, I thought he didn't realize I was awake.

"You know, I always feel that I am like a snail, and you are my shell..." I said to him faintly.

"I know." He wasn't surprised, it turned out that I was awake a long time ago.He hugged me even tighter, and squeezed out words from his throat, low and hoarse, containing pain and sadness.

I started crying too, tears streaming down his arms and soaking the hair around my ears.

He was a little embarrassed and didn't know what to say. I only remember what he said at the end. He said, "Yuyang, I can't help it. My parents have already started urging me to get married. I have been procrastinating for a long time. Yuyang Yang, promise me, in the future, you should still find a woman to marry. This road is not as simple as you think. It is full of thorns. I understand, neither you nor I are the ones who can leave our family behind."

Listening to what he said, I didn't speak. I suddenly didn't want to cry anymore, so I twitched the corners of my mouth and let out a low, inaudible wry smile. "Let's go on a normal path." "We must get married, you know?" I can imagine everyone's reaction when they find out about my relationship, but why do you want you, Han Duo, to tell me now that everyone is eligible , only you don't.Because you are the person I love the most, it's not that I want to be different, it's just that I'm in love with you.I turned over and finally got out of his arms, turned my back to him, and curled up into a ball.At that time, I hated him more than ever, probably the most hated him in my life.

When I heard him say that he loved me but had to get married, I suddenly felt funny and suddenly hated him very much.He's going to get married, he's going to be filial to his parents, he's going to run away, he's going to leave me, I really don't care, but why should he tell me what I should do.At that moment, I knew that this relationship really had to end, because his words made me feel that this relationship was worthless to him, just a burden.

When I met him that year, it was at my grandfather's funeral.He was the son of a distant aunt, a cousin I had barely met.

I have been in poor health since I was a child, and I am thin and thin. Do I have the inexhaustible energy like ordinary boys.From a young age, other children were keen on chasing and fighting, but I could never blend in.From a very young age, my parents were busy with work, and I only had my grandpa as my companion.At that funeral, even though I didn't understand the meaning of death at all, I still cried hoarsely.And that's probably when he came into my life.

After the funeral, my aunt often came back to see my grandma, and was planning to go back here to buy a house, so he often came to accompany me by the way.Those embarrassments and pranks in my childhood were basically done by him, and he made me feel that I was not alone.At that time, I always felt that Grandpa brought him to accompany me.