Shen Zicheng

I'm an asshole.

I jumped from tall buildings over and over again without thinking, thinking, chasing memories, or being involved with anyone.

I don't want to, I don't want to.

I just want to be in pain like this.

I broke my body 37 times, and on No.30 eight times, I stood on the No.17 floor of a certain building with half of my foot in the air.

And at the same time I put myself in the air, I heard someone shouting behind me.

I didn't have time to look back to see who it was, and I was too busy to give up on myself.

Immediately after my No.30 climbed up to the top floor nine times, I saw Chen En standing there, his face pale and his body trembling.

I think I scared him.

This way of me, perhaps, should be the attitude a ghost should have: chaotic, manic, indifferent, only looking forward to despair and death.

Fortunately, I'm not so confused that I can't help but want to kill any living person standing in front of me-of course, whether I have this ability is still a mystery.

"You..." just said a word, Chen En seemed to be frightened, and stepped back a few steps with a terrifying expression.

I looked at him in a daze, and realized that this should be a normal reaction of a "normal person" when he sees me.

Chen En needed some time to calm himself down. Before that, I could only stand quietly a few steps away, reading the message "Don't come near me" on his face, and couldn't get any closer.

... Subtle sense of déjà vu?

I was suddenly more certain of the fact that I was an asshole.

It's really hard to be rejected so strongly.

"I... found the follow-up report..." Chen En said after calming down, watching my expression carefully.

I think at this moment in his heart, I have been completely classified as a demon.

what!

"Do you still want to know?" Chen En asked.

good question.I began to think seriously about the answer to this question.Want to know or don't want to know?I also do not understand.

After thinking hard for a while, I realized that before that, what I should care about is whether knowing or not is meaningful to me.

He doesn't want me to know.

I suddenly thought.

People always have some rebellious psychology. The more they are told they cannot do something, the more they want to do it.

but--

I thought of those scarlet liquids, full of human heat, mixed with rainwater and spilled all over the ground.

I thought of the hissing of the ambulance, and the dangling lights turned on at the same time in front of my eyes and in my memory.

Those eyes are as lifeless as lost souls, I don't know if they are looking at me or what.

I was in a daze, I was in a daze, and I watched him finally close his eyes, and they carried him into the ambulance like a dead body.

I can't even follow him, I'm busy trying to get myself back together, but my non-existent brain has gone into a frenzy, frantically destroying every memory I use to store-they are less Poor—the cabinets, causing them to pour out like a flood.

I tried to talk to myself, but even I didn't bother to answer my questions.

I feel sick.

Maybe... Maybe, I should listen to him... Maybe I, I shouldn't try to get any news about "me"... As he said, I don't want to know, I might feel pain and hesitation ...

Pain and hesitation?

I was lost.like me now? ...what have I done, reminiscing about the past, hurting myself and hurting others because of it...

But if...

If I know those memories that I have forgotten, will I... be able to understand the pain contained in that puddle of blood...?

Maybe things couldn't get any worse.

"Followup report..." I laughed to myself, "what is it?"

It could be seen that Chen En was struggling, maybe he was afraid that I would be hit by it again and do something terrible.

This made me laugh at myself again, I took a few steps back, stood on the edge of the roof, and waved to Chen En: "Go back a little, stand by the door... If, if those reports If it makes me feel wrong, I will jump from here immediately." After a pause, I made a little joke, "Don't worry, I can't die."

Chen En's eyes were complicated, he opened his mouth a few times, but finally fell silent.After a long time, it could be seen that the wind at night was very cold, so cold that it made him shiver, and even his voice trembled faintly:

"Follow-up reports... After that Xiaocheng was adopted by his uncle, his uncle intervened in some disputes about that company, and told the media that he didn't want anyone to disturb their peaceful life because of this, otherwise he would go to the law The road. But—you know, nothing can stop the reporter, someone somehow got the news of the kid... It is said that before that accident, Xiaocheng had some mental problems... As for the reason, it seems that his parents have not been as harmonious as they appear on the surface, the atmosphere at home is always very depressed, and Xiaocheng himself seems to be always abused by his father because he is suspected of being his own..."

Mental problems.

I suddenly remembered what I saw under the bed in that room of Shen's house.

... have a mental problem?

"As for what happened afterwards... because the other party threatened repeatedly, and a little boy who 'survived a catastrophe' would not attract too much attention, anyway, the media's attention quickly moved away from Xiaocheng, and gradually he became less concerned. There are no more reports about him." At the end, Chen En's voice became softer.

He watched my every move nervously, and his retreating steps meant that if he didn't agree with me, he would run away.

Maybe it was because I didn't move after waiting for a long time. Chen En boldly took back the half-stepped foot, swallowed a few mouthfuls of saliva, and asked tremblingly: "Hey... I just want to ask ...Of course you don't have to answer me, I'm just curious—that Xiao Cheng, could it be...you?"

I am also very curious, why it is me.

But as the person involved, I could only smile wryly, pointing to myself and saying, "...it's me."

"It's not a mistake, is it?" Chen En yelled strangely, "Didn't you say that if you survive a catastrophe, you will have a good future? Why do you..." He shut up.

"I still remember something, something about my parents." I'm actually surprised I can say that so calmly.

Now that I can sort out my memory, I think my frenzied non-existent brain has calmed down.

The previous memory is: Fault—Parents died in a car accident—Fault.

Now I know what was in the first fault... though it stinks depressingly, those memories are still in my mind.

My parents' relationship broke down - my father was always mad at me - my father's company went bankrupt - my father wanted the whole family to die - I survived - I was adopted by an uncle I don't remember at all - and, fault.

...a dramatic life.

I can already guess what happened in the remaining faults, at least I can guess that they must be no less terrible than the previous ones.

But now I still need to confirm one thing: "Chen En...do you know what my last name is? Or, you know, what is the last name of the man in that case?"

Maybe it was because this question was too esoteric, Chen En was stunned for a long time, and then slowly replied: "About this... Actually, this incident was a bit too big at the beginning, because the party concerned has a high social status. , the secrecy work is done very well..."

Having said that, Chen En's voice stopped abruptly.

But I could see that he seemed to want to say something, but he was struggling in his heart.

I just waited quietly, guessing what he was going to say next.

"But..." he started, "I asked my master, and he said...that family seems to be named Shen."

bingo.

What else can I speculate about?The surname is Shen, and there is a character Cheng in the name. Among the people I know, who else has such a name?

Shen Zicheng.

Who else but him?

——In other words, in fact, "Shen Zicheng" and "A Cheng" should be the same person on the material level.

But Shen Qiao seems to have been committed to splitting the same person into two parts.

Great, one more question.

Why did he do this.

This question is not difficult to answer.

Modern medicine has been able to explain this situation, excluding the possibility of Shen Qiao's brain problem, then it is: Shen Zicheng suffers from schizophrenia, or similar mental illness.

After all, Shen Zicheng seemed to be abnormal since he was a child.

Ha, perfect answer.

Now I am curious again, when did Ah Cheng appear?And the me now...is it Shen Zicheng or Ah Cheng?

Do mentally ill people remain mentally ill after they die?

The plot develops quite tangled.

Just like my entangled character image and life experience.

"Do me a favor." I tried to sound as sincere as possible, "Please do me a favor, Chen En."

But my attitude obviously frightened the poor man again. He took another half step back and asked cautiously: "What's the matter? I, will do my best."

"Come with me to meet someone," I said, calm and natural, "I need you to convey what I mean."