Cloudy but no rain

"I don't want you to cry."

Ji Zhifei's voice was very low and hoarse, only Su Fengmian could hear him, he couldn't speak naturally, he admitted that he was not a man who was good at comforting others, his mouth was very stupid and dull.

At this moment, he only knew that he didn't want Su Fengmian to cry, so he only said this sentence.

Su Fengmian cried so much that he felt sore, he didn't know what kind of emotion it was, and it seemed that he only felt it when Su Fengmian was crying.

However, Su Fengmian has cried several times since we met at the airport, and he probably understands Su Fengmian's temperament and sadness.

No matter what, every time Su Fengmian let go of his guard in front of him, he hoped that he could catch the disappointment of the person in front of him and accompany him to digest it bit by bit.

He also regretted it for a few moments, if he had found Su Fengmian earlier, maybe he could have accompanied him through more pain.

He regretted that he never chose to be brave, always compromised with reality, and always accepted passively.

And Ji Zhifei also had a hard time imagining Su Fengmian's life alone, and he was even more unwilling to think about Su Fengmian crying alone, which caused many fine needle-like dense thorns to grow in his heart that was not full of emotion. , every thorn is naked in the softest place in the bottom of my heart.

He seems to have experienced many emotions that he has never had in Su Fengmian's life for decades.

Maybe this is love, the feeling of loving someone, it's not good, but he can't and doesn't want to press the pause button.

Ji Zhifei half-kneeled in front of Su Fengmian, holding Su Fengmian like this, he could bury his head in the hollow of Su Fengmian's right shoulder, and when the cold tip of his nose touched Su Fengmian's skin, Su Fengmian's crying would stop—this move seemed It works.

At least Su Fengmian stopped crying.

"Old Su, the doctor is here."

Hearing Wen Nan's voice, Su Fengmian sat up straight slowly, looked down at Ji Zhifei who was squatting in front of him, who was quite tall but now half a body lower than him, looked at each other for a few seconds.

Su Fengmian wanted to say something, but he didn't know where to start, so he gave up and stood up.

Ji Zhifei supported the floor with his palms, and stood up with him.

When Wen Nan walked through the corridor, she saw Su Fengmian crying. She patted Su Fengmian on the back and said, "You don't have to think too much, just let nature take its course."

"Yes, family members and comrades don't need to think too much." The doctor said, still hesitating slightly, "Uh...you all read the report, and I will tell you the general situation again."

"it is good."

Su Fengmian listened to the doctor's talk about his mother's physical condition and hospital arrangements with a downcast face, but he didn't listen too much. He was in a bad state right now, and his thoughts wandered off. It's like the computer I got started, it doesn't work.

"Well, I see, but there is one thing I want to ask the doctor."

Ji Zhifei was listening very carefully. He knew that when telling the family members the precautions and the hospital's treatment procedures during hospitalization, the family members often couldn't remember them. What they remembered was more about the diet, and the rest could basically be Trust the hospital unconditionally.

But he is also a doctor himself, so he is more or less different from other ordinary family members. He wants to do his best to help Su Fengmian—as long as Su Fengmian can feel more relaxed and comfortable.

The doctor said, "Please tell me."

Su Fengmian looked up at him, and Ji Zhifei continued: "How are the beds in your hospital arranged? Because I took a look at it just now, and I don't think his mother is very suitable for this kind of mixed hospital room."

"Oh, you can apply for this, but you may have to wait a day or two, because there seems to be not enough beds. If you need it, go to the lobby on the first floor of the inpatient department to apply." The doctor explained, "Stay here for now, There's no big problem."

"Okay, thank you." Ji Zhifei was a little bit moved by the difference between a small hospital and a big hospital.

"Then I'll go to patrol the building first. If you have anything to do, you can find the nurse on duty." After the doctor finished speaking, he left. Su Fengmian nodded, and then Wen Nan also left first, leaving only him and Ji Zhifei.

He was still very glad that Ji Zhifei was there, at least there was someone with a clear mind on the scene that he could rely on.

In fact, apart from other emotions, such as liking for Ji Zhifei, Su Fengmian was a little moved, moved by Ji Zhifei's care for him.

Su Fengmian never thought that Ji Zhifei was a man who would take care of others.

He only remembered that when he was studying, whenever he caught a cold and had a fever, he would be treated coldly by Ji Zhifei.

Because Ji Zhifei didn’t allow him to cough and blow his nose in the classroom, he would say that he was too noisy, which made him unable to concentrate.

So Su Fengmian always felt that maybe Ji Zhifei didn't get married because he only loved himself, and his attitude towards the people around him was always very cold and occasionally unfriendly.

But this kind of indifference will not enhance his charm at all, and he will not be as indifferent but lovable as the domineering president in the novel.

Although... I still like him, but Su Fengmian also knows that this is Ji Zhifei's shortcoming, which makes Ji Zhifei have no friends.

Therefore, these actions of Ji Zhifei made Su Fengmian a little surprised - it turns out that Ji Zhifei is someone he can rely on, even for a second, and he can rely on him for a while, which can make him feel at ease.

Seeing that he was still out of control, Ji Zhifei said softly, "Go in and see your mother, I'll buy you lunch and apply for a bed by the way."

"It's already noon." Su Fengmian said in a low voice. He wanted to look up at Ji Zhifei but didn't dare, so he lowered his head and stared at the floor. He didn't know what kind of material the floor was made of. His tears dried up, and he whispered, "Thank you."

"Huh?" Ji Zhifei only heard the first half of the sentence clearly, but he didn't pay attention to the second half. He took out his mobile phone and looked at the nearby restaurants and takeaways, and asked, "What do you want to eat later?"

"Food." Su Fengmian didn't have much appetite either, "Any order of food is fine."

"Okay, go and see her." Ji Zhifei put away the phone, raised the other hand and hung it in the air for half a second, but put it down, and put it in his pocket.

He almost took advantage of the situation and rubbed the back of Su Fengmian's head.

----

During the few days when Su Fengmian's mother was hospitalized, Ji Zhifei never entered the inpatient room. From the big inpatient room to the small room with only two patients, Ji Zhifei never went in. He thought, in this way, Su Fengmian would be at ease. Little by little by his mother's side.

But at night, if Su Fengmian falls asleep during the night watch, he will go in quietly to check to make sure that Su Fengmian is covered with the quilt and will not catch a cold.

He remembered that Su Fengmian was most likely to catch a cold in this season, and when spring and winter alternated, it was also the flu outbreak season, and he spent every day in the hospital, all kinds of viruses and bacteria were raging in the air, so it was easy to catch a cold.

But Su Fengmian didn't have a cold, but Ji Zhifei felt that he was a little chilly and dizzy these days. He knew it was one of the symptoms of a cold.

I thought about wearing more clothes and covering myself with an extra quilt at night to heal myself, but I didn't.

One night a few days later, Su Fengmian wiped his mother's body. When he opened the door to go out from the ward, he saw Ji Zhifei sitting on a chair leaning against the wall and fell asleep, with a box of lunch on his lap. overlay on top.

In the past few days, Su Fengmian didn't quite know what time Ji Zhifei left every day. He usually brought dinner for himself before sunset, and then he would leave for a while to go to Su Fengmian's house, saying that he was going back to the hospital to deal with the new daily emergency. file information.

After nine o'clock in the evening, Ji Zhifei would come to see Su Fengmian again after taking a bath, and bring him some supper. Su Fengmian would go home to take a bath at this time, and Ji Zhifei would stay at the door of the ward, waiting for him to come back, lest Su Fengmian During his absence, his mother would have needed help with anything - even though his mother had been unable to speak, utter only a few syllables, and was mostly asleep.

"Go back when you're tired." Su Fengmian walked to him and said in a breathless voice, afraid that the loud voice would wake him up.

Ji Zhifei opened his eyes vaguely, he was not asleep, he just felt dizzy, it seemed that the cold was getting worse.

"It's okay, I..." Ji Zhifei turned his head and sneezed before he finished speaking.

The sneeze made him dizzy even more, and even hurt, and his nasal cavity was burning.

Su Fengmian saw that he sneezed and almost fell to his side, so he quickly grabbed his shoulder and supported him: "Are you sick?"

Ji Zhifei waved his hand, and handed the box lunch to Su Fengmian: "I have a small cold, I'll prescribe some medicine later, and I happen to be in the hospital now..."

After he finished speaking, he sneezed again, Su Fengmian took the meal helplessly, and said: "There is no outpatient clinic now, how about it, I will take you back first, then you drink a cup of cold medicine, sleep again, and see tomorrow Can it be better."

Ji Zhifei thought it was quite appropriate, after all, he was also sick, and he didn't want to burden Su Fengmian, he had already worked very hard to take care of his mother these days.

Thinking of his mother, Ji Zhifei asked, "Has your mother's condition improved?"

"No," Su Fengmian smiled wryly, "It's still getting worse, the doctor said anyway, do your best and obey the fate...I'll take you back to rest first, I'll ask Wen Nan to take care of my mother tonight."

Ji Zhifei and Su Fengmian returned home. When they were lying on the bed in the guest room, the quilt was already thickly covered, but they still felt cold all over, especially his hands and feet. Someone was playing actual combat exercises inside, and the machine gun kept firing, which made him dizzy.

It wasn't a good sign for him - he knew he might have a fever.

Speaking of which, he hadn't had a fever for several years, and he didn't know if he was a little unaccustomed to the climate. He had a cold and a fever even though he was in the south, a warmer place.

Su Fengmian made him a cup of Bupleurum bupleurum, went to the pharmacy to buy cold medicine, brought it to Ji Zhifei's bedside, squatted down, put the cup on the cabinet next to the bed, and held Ji Zhifei's neck with his free hand, so that he could sit up.

"Take the medicine, go to bed after taking it." Su Fengmian said while pulling up the pillow on the bed and placing it behind Ji Zhifei's back.

But Su Fengmian always felt that Ji Zhifei didn't just have a simple cold. When he touched the back of Ji Zhifei's neck just now, he just felt a little hot.

"You should drink this little bupleurum first." Su Fengmian brought it to him.

Ji Zhifei took it with both hands. Through the thick ceramic cup, he could also feel the heat of this cup of potion, which made his hands not so cold. After drinking the potion, the hot water warmed his body a lot, and at the same time Some stuffy.

This hot and cold feeling made Ji Zhifei uncomfortable.

Su Fengmian squatted beside his bed to watch him drink the medicine, and said, "Do you have a fever?"

"I don't know, it should be." Ji Zhifei replied weakly. He closed his eyes and leaned against the pillow, leaned his head back, and suddenly felt his forehead was covered by a hand, and the temperature of that hand was not so high.

After a few seconds, he opened his eyes slightly, and saw that Su Fengmian's face was very close to him, as if most of his line of sight was occupied by him. In addition, only one orange light was turned on in the room, making Su Fengmian's facial features blurred. It's not clear, it's as hazy as an exposure photo taken with a Polaroid—or maybe it's too close, and his eyes won't be able to focus for a while.

In short, it was too close, so close that Ji Zhifei didn't dare to breathe normally, but Su Fengmian's breathing was very clear. He seemed to be able to feel the slight air current blowing on his face one after another—it should be the amplification of human perception caused by fever. .

"You have a fever." Su Fengmian was about to withdraw his hand, but when he just pulled it away, Ji Zhifei raised his hand and pressed it back, making his hand stick tightly to Ji Zhifei's hot forehead again, "Why?" gone?"

"Kiss me." Ji Zhifei vaguely said the word, and Su Fengmian was startled. To him, the sick man in front of him seemed to be confused, and the pleading in his tone was also true. Su Fengmian didn't understand, "Kiss me."

Ji Zhifei repeated it again.

Su Fengmian looked at Ji Zhifei, and gradually he could hear his heartbeat echoing in his chest. He didn't think about whether the other person had a cold and a fever and shouldn't be so close. On the contrary, he moved closer and closer. some.

Until a gentle kiss fell on Ji Zhifei's slightly parted lips, although the kiss was not perfect, although his lips were trembling all the time.

Volume VI

I have crossed many bridges

Clouds seen many times

drank many kinds of wine

But only loved one person at the right age

——Shen Congwen's "Love Letter"