Daylight past

The lines of light are like fine needles. When they fall on the skin, they seem to be pierced by countless fine needles.

My whole body hurts, every inch of skin, every bone hurts, my stomach seems to be burning, I can't breathe, panic, anxiety and unrealistic anger occupy my whole heart.Wen Nian stared at Lin Suiwen, looked at the diary he took care of carefully, and took a deep breath.

"Tell me, is it right? Alpacas, sunsets, and irises are all favorites of the person who wrote that diary, right?" Wen Nian bit his lower lip, and he asked: "Everything belongs to him, to him. Because of him, his name is Wen Xunnian, one word difference from me, you call me Xiao Nian, you...you just treat me as his substitute, and never liked me."

"I don't! I like you, I only love you, Xiao Nian." Lin Suiwen was startled, his brows were furrowed, but the corners of his mouth were still restrained.

His words seemed to be squeezed out of his heart, leaving a gap in the narrow heart chamber, every word seemed to be desperately escaping from the collapsed mountains, came to Wen Nian, confide in him, told him his love meaning.

But Wen Nian couldn't take it anymore, he stood up, pushed Lin Suiwen away, and yelled at him: "Don't call me Xiao Nian, I feel sick."

Lin Suiwen grabbed his arm, his fingers tensed and embedded into the flesh, Wen Nian only felt that his wrist was about to be strangled by him, it hurt so much, he turned his head and stared at Lin Suiwen fiercely, all the things in his heart The softness disappeared in that instant.

He didn't know what he was doing and what he was trying to figure out, and why he was arguing loudly with Lin Suiwen and getting angry, it was just because of anger, unwillingness and inexplicable jealousy, he couldn't control himself.

Lin Suiwen held him back and refused to let him leave. He dragged Wen Nian and said softly, "You can leave, but I have to explain something to you."

Wen Nian was silent, Lin Suiwen looked at him, and said to him: "I didn't use you as a substitute, the alpaca bought it for you because it was fun, and the iris was specially put in the book because I missed you. And Sunset, I once watched the sunset with you in this city, but it was not perfect, the city was too noisy. I thought I should take you to see a better scenery, all because of you, no one else. "

Lin Suiwen handed the diary in his arms to Wen Nian, and he said softly: "Wen Xunnian should be regarded as my elder brother, his mother married my father, he came to my house when he was eight years old, and when...he left this world .

For a whole ten years, he grew up with me and spent the entire teenage years with me. I... don't want to forget him. Everything in this attic is his relic.Wen Nian, I hope you can understand me, I love him very much, he is my family, he is very important to me. "

Wen Nian looked at Lin Suiwen bluntly. Under the staggered light and shadow, Lin Suiwen raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears from the corner of Wen Nian's eyes. He said, "Don't cry."

Wen Nian pursed his lips. He was fixedly looking at Lin Suiwen, his lips moved, and he said softly, "The diary...can you show me?"

Lin Suiwen said, "Take it back."

After coming down from the attic, Wen Nian went to the living room, and he said to Lin Suiwen, "I'll just watch here, I want to stay alone for a while."

Lin Sui paused, went to the bedroom to get the blanket, put the blanket at Wen Nian's feet, and said to him, "Cover the blanket and watch, don't catch cold."

Wen Nian rolled up the blanket and tucked his body inside, he whispered "thank you".

Lin Suiwen left the living room, Wen Nian sank into the sofa for a moment, wiped away the tears on his face indiscriminately, curled his legs, under the bright yellow light of the floor lamp beside the sofa, opened a section of blue diary cover.

The diary is written in a mess. Sometimes there are graffiti with a brush on the page, sometimes a few strokes, and sometimes just a smiley face. Wen Nian turned from the first page and saw a line of words, Lin Suiwen is really A tree is stubborn!

There are two words wrong in that stubbornness, Tu Tu Hua Hua makes people laugh.

He was startled, and then flipped through the pages. Most of them were records of moods about small things in life. Wen Xiaonian's writing was very simple, just a few words...

"so annoying"

"Again, it's annoying"

“Eat delicious, happy”

"Didn't eat, hungry"

It was scribbled, Wen Nian seemed to be able to see a vivid Wen Xiaonian, feeling very strange and complicated.

He continued to look down in silence, and turned a few more pages. It turned out to be a long diary page. The paper was written with a water pen, and each stroke was deeply sunken and engraved into the paper. Wen Nian wrinkled Frown.

"It was raining lightly today. When I got up in the morning, my mother cooked noodles for me. Lin Suiwen was about to undergo hearing surgery. He had to take a lot of medicines recently. Those medicines seemed to have side effects. He was always listless and reacted when talking to him. It will take a long time to answer me.

After breakfast, I went to call him, and when I went to his room, I found out that he had a fever.

I shook him awake, he looked very distressed, he was not wearing a hearing aid, and he couldn't hear anything I told him.

I was going to call my mother, but when there was another quarrel downstairs, standing on the stairs, I could see my stepfather throwing things. He threw the half bowl of noodles I just ate on my mother's face . "

Wen Nian took a deep breath, he raised his head in vain, looked at the closed door, then lowered his head, carefully reading word by word.

"It's a terrible feeling. My mother told me not to argue with my stepfather. We live in this family, and we live under the fence. My stepfather supports me. I want to be grateful.

But is the reward for kindness to silently endure his domestic violence?

I'm taking mom out of here..."

Swipe your fingers along the page and turn to the next page.

"When I talked about Andy Warhol with Xiaowen, I thought he was very powerful, and then I talked to him about my future ideals. He told me that he didn't know, which was quite puzzling. How could someone not have a dream?

I am different from him, I like to dance, if possible, I want to stand on the stage and dance for the whole world to see. "

Wen Nian blinked, he covered his heart, his body sank, and wrapped himself tightly with a blanket, he turned to the next page, and then there were some doodling and painting, flowers, trees, smiling faces and crying faces, and one page was a black ink pen on the front Scratched, densely written with the word "death".

Wen Nian shivered, he carefully opened the heavy page and turned to the back.

"Xiaowen's surgery was a success, and he can hear without a hearing aid. I'm happy for him."

"I may not be able to dance anymore. My broken leg hurts when I try hard, and I can't dance anymore."

"The stepfather was beating my mother again. I called the police, but the funny thing is, when the police came, she denied it. She didn't admit that her stepfather was beating her. Her face was obviously swollen, her forehead was covered with blood, and there was a scar on her neck. There were strangle marks, but she didn't even admit it, she said it was a child's prank, that her stepfather didn't hit her, and she said that these injuries were caused by her own accidental falls.

Fucking fall, fuck. "

The surrounding air seemed to condense together, Wen Nian breathed hard in the oxygen-deficient environment, with a heavy chest pain and tightness.

Looking at Wen Xunnian's diary, it seemed as if he had taken a chronic poison, the pain took root and spread little by little, like thorns and vines wrapping the flesh, piercing inch by inch, blood flowing like a river.

He didn't want to read any more, and hastily turned to the last page, which was a torn piece of paper.

Wen Nian took a breath of oxygen in a trance, his body softened, he closed the diary, and placed it gently on the corner of the wooden table. He put his head on the sofa and took a deep breath.

After that day, Wen Nian didn't see Lin Suiwen for a long time, it seemed as if a section of glacier suddenly crossed between the two of them, and the severe cold spread all over.

Xiang Li asked Wen Nian about Lin Suiwen, but Wen Nian didn't mention it, he was very confused and didn't know what to do?

Lin Suiwen didn't look for him, and he didn't dare to take the initiative to look for him.

He felt that he had done something wrong, so he peeled open the wound in Lin Suiwen's heart, cut out the bright red flesh, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it wantonly.

He didn't even know that Lin Suiwen couldn't hear before, but now that he thought about it, he realized that Lin Suiwen seemed to glance at his mouth shape intentionally or unconsciously every time he had a conversation.

It's because he couldn't hear before that he has this subconscious habit, and he has never noticed it.

Wen Nian fell into self-blame and guilt, wanted to see Lin Suiwen, wanted to say sorry to him, shouldn't yell at him, shouldn't be angry with him, but after hurting others, all courage seemed to fade away Halfway through, he became hesitant and timid, not even daring to bow his head to apologize, for fear that Lin Suiwen would reject him face to face.

Lin Suiwen said that there is no need to be reasonable in dating, but this is wrong, Wen Nian doesn't want to do it.

Wen Nian learned about Lin Suiwen's car accident through the news on current affairs that popped up on his mobile phone. He didn't play that day, so he read the script at home. When he saw the news, Wen Nian didn't react.

The next moment, Xiang Li called and told him about Lin Suiwen's car accident.

"what's going on?"

"I don't know either. I just saw the news and I called you. Wen Nian, hurry up and call Mr. Lin to ask."

Wen Nian took a deep breath, hung up Xiang Li's phone, and immediately called Lin Suiwen, but the call was not answered for a long time, Wen Nian then called Lin Suiwen's assistant, the phone rang a few times, and was connected.

There was a mess of voices at one end of the microphone, Wen Nian's heart was hanging in the air, and he asked in a tight voice, "Lin Suiwen... is Mr. Lin okay?"

The assistant's voice was not very anxious and anxious, but extremely calm, he said: "Mr. Wen, I just wanted to call you, Mr. Lin is fine, but his calf was fractured by the impact, and he is currently being bandaged in the hospital. "

"Which hospital?"

"The First Hospital in the city center."

Wen Nian immediately said, "I'll go see him now."

After leaving home, he took a taxi to the hospital. He didn't wear a hat and mask, and his face was instantly recognizable. When he arrived at the hospital, he could hear excited discussions from people around him while walking, but Wen Nian had no time to take care of it.

He saw his assistant waiting for him at the entrance of the hospital. Wen Nian walked towards him, but the other party was slightly taken aback when he saw Wen Nian's face.

"Where is Mr. Lin? Take me to see him."

"It's in the upstairs ward. Mr. Wen, let me take you to see him."

The assistant said and walked towards the elevator, Wen Nian followed behind him, entered the elevator, the assistant pressed the sixth floor, Wen Nian stared at the jumping floor number, feeling confused.

When he reached the sixth floor, the assistant stopped suddenly. He looked at Wen Nian and said to him, "Mr. Wen, I suddenly remembered that Mr. Li Mu also came to see Mr. Lin just now, and now we are talking in the room."

Wen Nian was stunned, as if a thousand-ton weight was tied to his leg, he followed the assistant slowly, and arrived at a ward. The assistant didn't open the door. He looked sideways at Wen Nian and said softly, "Mr. Talk to Boss Lin inside, should we wait here first."

Wen Nian pursed his lips, feeling a little annoyed in his heart, and said, "No."

Then he put his hand on the door, and when he was about to push it open, he heard Li Mu's voice inside, which seemed to be raised on purpose, and came harshly. Li Mu said, "Mr. Lin, don't we look alike? We This year, I even did fine-tuning, just to be exactly like him, why did you go to find that Wen Nian?

Although there is only one word difference between him and Wen Xunnian, their appearance is very different, why?Don't you look at me? "

Lin Suiwen said, "You deserve it too?"

"Oh, I don't deserve it, I really don't deserve it, so what is Wen Nian? You keep Wen Xunnian's photos with you all the time, and you go to the temple to burn incense every year. I see, these are all fake. It’s just a thing that you can discard and forget at will, as long as someone can wipe him out of your heart and live in it, right?”

Facing Li Mu's questioning, Lin Suiwen frowned, paused for a few seconds, and said, "No one can compare with him."

Li Mu smiled satisfied when he heard this, Lin Suiwen frowned, his heart tightened, and he suddenly asked, "Who let you in?"

Li Mu said nothing, and glanced at the door.

Wen Nian stood blankly outside the door, the assistant cast his eyes on him, and asked softly, "Mr. Wen, are you still going in?"

Wen Nian shivered, came back to his senses, clutched his chest, and shook his head slowly, very slowly and stiffly.

He glanced at the closed door, retracted his hand against the door, and said, "Forget it."

What is he?

He is nothing.

☆, break up