plastic rose

The author has something to say: Good morning, first day at work, not much to say...

leave silently~

Outside the car window, the empty and well-organized farmland in the north was blurred by white snow and the ravines flashed quickly outside the window, turning into film clips that had been screened outside the car window.The regular and dull sound of the train wheels colliding with the rails came from my ears. It was noisy but not harsh, and it was more secure in the chaotic and difficult sleep.

That picture appeared in the field of vision not too far away.Under the endless gray sky, the snow-covered fields also spread to the infinite distance.There is only one tree that has lost its leaves and is isolated at the intersection of the fields and rice fields. The dry branches are distinct, like an engraving.

Dreaming of this scene again, Ouyang woke up from a light sleep.The summer morning light casts into the room as always.

The time displayed on the screen in my mind was 5:[-] in the morning.

Returning to the dormitory from Zheng Yuan's mother's house last night, I tiptoed to tidy up the room.One night, Ouyang tossed and turned and slept for less than 3 hours.

His head was so dull that he couldn't move due to lack of sleep. He closed his eyes, but his mind was inexplicably clear.

The scene between Jiang Xiaofan and Zheng Yuan last night, thinking about it now, is not so much angry as it is more painful.

With Zheng Yuan's temperament, he is not a person who seeks the initiative in his relationship, and such things as molesting other people's girlfriends are not what he did.The only explanation for that incident is that Jiang Xiaofan was demonstrating.

Back in the dormitory last night, Ouyang called Jiang Xiaofan.On the other side of the phone, she didn't explain, and she didn't even mention that matter.Just say: "I'm sleepy. I have to go to work tomorrow. Don't forget to have dinner with my parents tomorrow afternoon."

Ouyang is already tired of Jiang Xiaofan's way of asking for affection, let her go.

He decided to get married because he really liked her.But recently, he kept thinking repeatedly about the possible changes in his future life, but felt at a loss.In the future, his life will be flooded with family members who are not family, and he's not sure he'll be able to handle it.More importantly, as time passed, he began to doubt whether this was what he wanted.

Knowing that there are too many spoiled feelings in his heart that need to be dealt with, but just saying those severing words to Zheng Yuan last night has exhausted all his strength.

As I thought before, drawing a clear line with Zheng Yuan seems to be the most suitable method.But when Zheng Yuan apologized to him, he still felt a dull pain in his heart.After giving up persistence for so long, Ouyang is not confident that he will really continue every day intact.

He suddenly realized that the person who was bound by the past was not only Zheng Yuan, but also himself.

Not wanting to think about it alone, Ouyang went to the Book Building to buy the professional books he needed recently.There was a bad omen, but I didn't expect this omen to really come on Sunday afternoon.

Back from the bookstore, holding a stack of books wrapped in kraft paper, Ouyang watched the water flowing down the wall, converging on the floor, and slowly flowing towards the door.

Ouyang hurriedly threw the book in his hand at the door, rushed into the room, and put the computer and other electronic products on the bed.When he opened the closet, the panel next to the wall had seeped water, so he reluctantly transferred the clothes and bedding to the bed.

The box containing the lizard was placed on the windowsill.The green-brown lizard turned around and stuck out its tongue at the Avalokitesvara that was placed side by side.

It appears that the plumbing upstairs has completely collapsed.

Ouyang went to the bathroom to wash his face, found the office phone number of the dormitory manager from the phone, and reported the situation.

After waiting for nearly 30 minutes, the maintenance master in blue overalls finally appeared.

"I contacted the resident upstairs, and the plumbing in his house will be repaired in the next two days. Your room also needs to be repainted." The uncle said to Ouyang expressionlessly after checking the problem.

"How long will it take?" Ouyang looked dejectedly at the house that had been tidied overnight.

"How long? It will take a week or two. You pack up the things you don't need and store them in the property, and find a friend's house for the next two days to make up the work." The maintenance master said, taking out the maintenance kit Take out the record sheet and ask Ouyang to sign after the corresponding entry.

After thanking him, Ouyang stepped on the stagnant water and cleaned it up.

The leak in the house coincides with continuous rain.So hurry up, Jiang Xiaofan called, it should be to remind him not to forget to meet his parents.

Ouyang picked up the phone, but Jiang Xiaofan paused before speaking.

"Ouyang, tonight...can we change the dinner with my parents for another day?" Jiang Xiaofan's voice was rarely timid.

Ouyang's heart skipped a beat.I don't know why, but I always feel that this matter should have been expected.

"What's the matter, is something wrong?" Ouyang asked without answering directly.

Jiang Xiaofan sighed softly and said, "It's nothing... let's talk about it another day, okay?"

"Okay..." Ouyang hesitated, whether to tell Jiang Xiaofan about the water in the dormitory, but he didn't say it in the end.

After hanging up the phone, Ouyang continued to pack his things.The male colleagues who lived in the same department in the dormitory also came to help pack things together, comforted Ouyang and said that he could make up for two days in his room, but Ouyang declined after thinking about it.

Pack the daily necessities and clothes needed for this week in the suitcase. Ouyang originally wanted to entrust the lizard to the property aunt, but finally packed the lizard in a portable plastic suitcase and put it in the suitcase.

He found a chain hotel nearby to live in.In fact, two days in a colleague's dormitory is fine.But he wasn't used to sleeping with other people, and, in his current state, he preferred to be alone.

Maybe it was due to the peak water consumption, the hot water in the hotel fluctuated from hot to cold, Ouyang took a shower and lay down on the narrow bed in the single room.

The bed sheets of chain hotels always seemed to be rolled in disinfectant powder. The damp and stiff special touch made Ouyang turn over several times on the bed, unable to fall asleep.

It was almost 11:[-] in the middle of the night, and after the usual sleep time, Ouyang felt an inexplicable lucidity in his mind, repeated stirring to dilute the drowsiness, and finally he couldn't fall asleep at all.

With a cigarette in his mouth and staring at the ceiling in the darkness, Ouyang suddenly realized that this was the first time he had spent the night alone in such a hotel since he was in high school.

It is unbelievable that the mood of him back then and him now has reversed.

But so what?Slowly, drowsiness began to occupy Ouyang's mind, causing him to fall asleep and dream.

In the dream, it was the square in front of the railway station where Ouyang once waited alone until dawn five years ago.

Travelers from all over the world gather there and then leave.In the brightly lit square all night, the moving figures and noisy voices made the time for those who waited alone even more difficult.

The time in the dream is always cruising, making it impossible to judge.Ouyang remembered that he waited until 2 o'clock in the morning that day, but still did not see Zheng Yuan.His mobile phone was not turned off, but no one answered it.

The sky on a summer night seems clearer and more sober than in any other season.

In the dream, Ouyang persuaded himself.It is he who thinks highly of himself.How could Zheng Yuan fall in love with himself who is also a man.Ouyang thought so, it was to maintain his dignity after being rejected.

The scenes in the dream began to switch rapidly.Whether it's study, work, or love, although Ouyang is also taking care of Zheng Yuan, he unconsciously draws a line between them.

You come and I go, it's just a matter of reason.Blindfolded, he walked forward, perhaps bringing along these grievances against Zheng Yuan's escape, and cutting off all kinds of unnecessary things.Until now, he seemed to feel a little pain.

"Hello, do you need to clean the room?" In the hazy sleepiness, Ouyang heard a polite question and answer from a male voice outside the door.He struggled to open his eyes, and the window was bright.Turning to look at the electronic clock beside the bed, it was already nine o'clock in the morning.The cigarette butt from last night, already burnt bald, fell on the ground beside the bed.

Although he didn't want to get up, Ouyang still couldn't stand the mess in the room, so he got up and opened the door.

"Mister, hello, may I ask if the room...need...do...sweep..." The waiter outside the door turned his head to ask questions while arranging the towels on the linen cart, but saw Ouyang , his eyes widened in surprise.

Ouyang was also stunned.I didn't expect to run into Gu Jun here. I woke up early in the morning and my head was dizzy. He swallowed and didn't know what to say?

Gu Jun hurriedly looked around and said in a low voice, "Investigate."

Ouyang understood, nodded, and whispered, "Why don't you come in and talk about it?"

Gu Jun hesitated, glanced across the room, and said, "Is it convenient?"

Ouyang smiled, opened the door and said, "It's nothing inconvenient, I'm alone."

Gu Jun pushed the linen trolley into the entrance, closed the door lightly, and then raised his voice and said, "I really didn't expect to meet you here."

As he spoke, he took out a clean sheet and quilt cover from the linen cart and walked into the room.Seeing this, Ouyang rushed over and said with a smile, "I can't let you change it for me, senior. Let me come. You can take a rest."

Gu Jun didn't give in either, sat down on the chair and watched Ouyang tidy up the bed.After looking at it for a while, he said in a low voice: "The bed sheets and quilt covers of this chain hotel are really not very clean. I didn't pay attention before, and I found out after investigating."

Ouyang replied with a smile, without saying much.

Gu Jun looked strange, looked around the room, and continued: "Where's your girlfriend?"

Ouyang concentrated on flattening the sheets, and said with a smile, "Senior, you misunderstood. My dormitory is leaky and I can't live there. I'm here to help."

Gu Jun raised his eyes and nodded, and said, "You can live at Zheng Yuan's place."

Ouyang shook his head and said, "It's not convenient."

Gu Jun nodded and said: "It's inconvenient, he moved back to the rented house yesterday. There is also a big girl in the same room, who leaves late every day and returns early..."

Ouyang listened, and the distressed feeling in his sleep crept into his heart little by little.

"By the way, I heard from Zheng Yuan that you want to buy a house, have you picked a suitable one?" Seeing Ouyang's depressed face, Gu Jun changed the subject.He and Ouyang were not familiar with each other at first, so after thinking about it, this topic could be discussed.

"Not yet." Ouyang hesitated, and answered truthfully.

"It's not easy to buy a house now. My brother bought a house last year and paid the deposit, but the price went up at the opening. In order to make up for the down payment, he borrowed 20 through bank credit." Gu Jun said, watching Ouyang Zheng check it absent-mindedly The mobile phone information, and continued to find something to say, "But don't say it, the credit loan is really fast now. A while ago, Zheng Yuan borrowed 20 yuan, and the loan was released in a few days..."

Having said that, Gu Jun realized that he had slipped his tongue.Ouyang stood beside the bed with his mobile phone, staring at him with wide eyes.Gu Jun was sure that he really said something wrong.

"You don't know yet!" Gu Jun raised his voice, trying to preemptively strike.Thinking back, Zheng Yuan took out a loan to help Ouyang buy a house. As Zheng Yuan's friend, he did not support this matter.Zheng Yuan was kind to Ouyang, so good that Ouyang didn't know that he was worthless for Zheng Yuan.

With some confusion on his face, Ouyang threw his mobile phone on the bed, walked further and asked, "He borrowed 20 yuan? When?"

Seeing that Ouyang frowned, Gu Jun got up quickly and said, "Yes, before he went to the real estate, right? You think, with the salary of our society news, even if you don't eat or drink a year, you still can't pay 20 yuan. If it wasn't For the 20, Zheng Yuan would not go to the real estate so easily."

After Gu Jun finished speaking, seeing Ouyang frowned tightly, unable to conceal his surprise, his heart softened again, and he said: But I don't know the details, so you can ask him directly. "

As he said that, Gu Jun trotted to the linen cart to get a stack of towels and put them on the table, saying, "This is a replacement towel. I'll pick up the ones you've used next time."

After speaking, he drove the linen cart all the way away.

When Zheng Yuan went to the real estate, it was the time when Ouyang borrowed money from him.Time and money are worth it.Ouyang sat back on the bed and suddenly realized that he seemed to have missed something, something very important.

From the process of raising money, looking at the house, buying a house recently, he was grateful to Zheng Yuan, but he ignored what Zheng Yuan did for him behind the scenes.

He just wants to get rid of the past and name it for the good of both of them.Many times, he subconsciously knew why Zheng Yuan wanted to treat him well, but he didn't dare to think about it.Because he is afraid of knowing the answer.If Zheng Yuan really confessed his feelings, there would be no way for Ouyang to retreat, and all these years of hard work to build a so-called life would be in vain.Even the dignity of pretending to be calm after being rejected will no longer exist.

Therefore, Ouyang has been pretending to be stupid, and even inadvertently took advantage of Zheng Yuan's feelings.

But when he knew what Zheng Yuan had done, Ouyang realized that he was wrong.

Thinking of what he said to Zheng Yuan the night before, he knew that he responded to Zheng Yuan's sincerity in the most cunning way.

Burning regret and guilt burned on his face.

If Zheng Yuan hadn't shown up at the station back then, it would have been nice if I could have gone to ask about it.What is the so-called dignity?But now, both he and Zheng Yuan are changing without the other's knowledge, and they don't know where to start if they want to save something.

Lying on the bed, Ouyang raised his hands to cover his eyes, blocking the sunlight.Countless thoughts are spinning in my head.He suddenly thought again, what if all of this was due to his own sentimentality when he was depressed?

If, now he took the initiative to ask Zheng Yuan what happened, how would Zheng Yuan answer?

"It's me who treats you like this, and my mother doesn't worry."

What if Zheng Yuan attributed all this to family affection?It is even possible that he will run away like he did a few years ago.

The vibrating sound of the mobile phone interrupted Ouyang's thoughts. When he clicked on it, it turned out that it was Song Tianhao's reminder letter, urging him to go to the late-day house inspection mentioned earlier, and he found out that it was a discounted relationship.

Ouyang wanted to refuse directly, but he couldn't bear it.Even the house that Song Tianhao introduced was what Zheng Yuan asked him to pay attention to.

"Thank you senior. Next Sunday." Ouyang replied simply.Even if you don't buy this house, you still have to see it.

Putting down the phone, Ouyang got up from the bed, opened the window, and the hot summer wind was blowing.

He picked up his mobile phone and dialed Jiang Xiaofan's number.After a few pleasantries, I wanted to make an appointment with her, but Jiang Xiaofan asked first: "When are you free recently, I... have something I want to talk to you about."

Before Ouyang could reply, she immediately raised her voice, "Forget it, I still want to speak out now. Did you get angry yesterday? It was the same when I had dinner with Zheng Yuan last time. You are only willing to get angry because of him, what about me?" ?”

Although Ouyang wanted to communicate clearly with Jiang Xiaofan face to face, but facing Jiang Xiaofan's questioning immediately, he replied: "Sorry."

Sensing Jiang Xiaofan's unprepared silence on the other end of the phone, Ouyang quickly proposed: "Let's find a time to have a good chat?"

After a while of silence, Jiang Xiaofan said: "Okay... let's wait until we all have time."

Facing the obvious refusal, Ouyang didn't want to force her.After hanging up the phone, Ouyang recalled the recent changes between him and Jiang Xiaofan, feeling unspeakably sad.After all, the relationship of the past few years took time and enthusiasm to maintain, but after work, this relationship gradually changed.

Ouyang's mind was in a mess.Faced with all kinds of feelings, he can't let go or ignore them.Putting each piece together, it will always be clear.In the week starting tomorrow, give yourself and others a time to think.At that time, everything will be figured out, and the solution will be solved, and it is unknown.

Thinking of this, Ouyang sent a message to Jiang Xiaofan: "We've been thinking about it for a while, let's talk about it sometime next Sunday."