Slime and Cardboard

If there is a CEO qualification certificate in this world, then the first assessment condition must be a high-cold personality.The presidents seem to be mass-produced from the freezer. I have never seen a variety that can exceed five words in a daily chat. If there is one, it must be the owner of the newsstand downstairs in the company - there are more than 50 people It is not easy to insist that he is also a president every day, and although the area is only a single digit square, the entire newsstand is his, so there is nothing wrong with it, it seems.

Back to the topic, our president, he is also very old-fashioned, he is an urban indifferent man.

The president's attendance time is a mystery. He is always there when the employees are there. As for when he comes and leaves, you may have to ask the doorman—after all, the president doesn't need to clock in.The black office that occupies half of the corridor alone is full of presence and very low-key.

Why is this?

The sense of existence is that the president is a textbook-like president.He is tall and has long legs, wide shoulders and narrow hips. People once gossip about whether he has set up a gym in his private lounge and go in to practice when he has nothing to do.The facial features are carved with knives and axes, and the eyebrows are straight.The owner of the newsstand downstairs was out of shape with jealousy.Wearing expensive-looking suits all the year round, there should be many styles, but apart from the color differences such as black and brown, it is difficult to tell what is different.The subtlety is probably the so-called taste.The female employees, and possibly some cute boys, maintained a strong interest in the president (vertical side plus life), observed secretly, and looked forward to the textbook-like high-ranking plot in their hearts.

However, the CEO's whereabouts are erratic, and he basically lives in seclusion. After entering the landlord-like office, he seems to have locked himself in a small dark room.Yes, other CEOs install solid wood doors, but for our CEO, the outer walls of the entire room are black and airtight, and even PM2.5 can’t get in, like a black magic camp.The president does not have a secretary, nor does he have an assistant. He is like a superman and relies on himself.So once the little black house is closed, all the news is locked inside, such as schedule, preferences, and work and rest, all of which are known only to him.

President, he is one in a million in the career of a professional president.

If there is a programmer qualification certificate in this world, then...

never mind.programmer.

Dead house understand?

The group that owns a bunch of cardboard wives.

The technical director is also a programmer, the same.

One day, the company's system suddenly crashed.The phone calls in the technical department were ringing off the hook, and the programmers were struggling on the front line of repairs with their bald hair, accompanied by wailing.

After hours of searching through the entire code, I finally found the culprit line.

"Input:

Poor breasts are the wealth of the world! "

......

It took less than a second for the programmers to smile from shock to anger to relief. They were uniform and tacit understanding, which was probably infinitely better than the performance in the team building.

At the focus of their gaze, the technical director coughed and patted their jealous head.

In matters other than technology, the technical director sometimes loses his IQ, so he forgets to report to the president that the system has been restored.When the call came, he was calling his eldest wife in front of the screen.

The president only said two words: "Come up."

The technical director spent a few seconds thinking of about a hundred ways that the president could not understand but felt powerful to explain the cause of the system crash.

Don't panic.

Because the system restarted, the authority of the automatic door of the president's office had to be updated.It didn't pay attention to the technical director at all, and it was locked tightly, as if it didn't sense such a big living person.

A dead house is not a human being, and there is nothing wrong with it.

The technical director touched his pocket, but didn't bring up the phone.Under the guidance of what kind of brain circuit, he directly studied the operation of forced restart on the electric door.

He was still worthy of the title of Director, the door opened.

The president was sitting at his desk, concentrating on rubbing a glistening pink object in his hand.

The technical director subconsciously locked on the object with a big question mark on it with the 1.3 eyesight endowed by the glasses and Fatty's sharpness of staring at the wives passing by all the year round.

Exploration succeeded.

A neon pink slime slime with sequins and flat beads.

The president was as immobile as a mountain, and he didn't even have a slight expression on his face.As expected of the president.The two outstretched fingers were confiscated, and they were pinched down in astonishment.Keep going, President.

slap.

The sound of the flat beads even gave the illusion of reverberation in this quiet room.

The technical director was expressionless, and he didn't even feel stiff at all. He turned around and left sensiblely, but went the wrong way out in a daze.

In front of me is a pink private lounge that will definitely be snapped up by thousands of girls to press hearts on ins, with overwhelming fans.

The technical director blinked, suspecting that he had suddenly developed color blindness.

He suddenly realized that the automatic door was forced to open at the door just now, and it has not had time to restart, so all the doors in the president's office are now open, and the automatic door system is closed.

He felt a little stiff at the moment, thinking that he must write this lesson in the technical log.

What a great time to visit the President's Office!

how is this possible.

The technical director kept on stepping, turned to another direction, and saw another pink room that looked like CtrlC+CtrlV.

Turning around, the president looked at him with a pale face as if teleporting silently.

"Close the door," said the president.

The technical director nodded deeply, approving this great decision, and quickly activated the automatic door system.Suddenly, with a neat sound, all the rooms in the president's office were put on black masks again.

Retire after success.He sighed inwardly.

"Come here," said the president.

The technical director had no choice but to take back the foot that was about to step out, and followed the president to the desk where he entered the door.

"Sit down," said the president.

The technical director sat down and glanced at the ball of pink slime on the table.It wasn't intentional.

The president took out a box from the drawer and folded it upside down, trying to cover it up.

However, this box is transparent, and it achieves the effect of "you can't see me if you can't see me".

"System?" he asked.

"It's fixed, I forgot to report it." The technical director replied.

"reason?"

"..." The hundred statements that the technical director had thought up in advance turned into butterflies and flew away after experiencing all this.The flapping of a hundred pairs of wings echoed in his head.

The president frowned, picked up the phone, and hung his fingers on the number keys.

What's the extension for the tech department?

"Poor breasts are the wealth of the world..." the technical director said uncertainly, after thinking about it, he said righteously, "Small breasts are the wealth of the world!"

From the perspective of the technical director, many question marks appeared around the president's head, and he turned black, with "404 not found" on his face.

Soon, the president realized which eight characters these eight characters belonged to in the Xinhua dictionary, his face automatically turned black, and he was about to open his golden mouth and spit out some ivory.

The technical director locked the small box upside down with a pair of dead fish eyes.This time it was on purpose.

The president gritted his teeth and waved his hand, signaling that he could step down.

The technical director stood up quickly, but his eyes slid up, down, left, and right at the small box, and he didn't move.

The president's patience was running low, and he tapped his knuckles on the table to attract the attention of the pair of dead fish eyes.

"No?" It was rare for him to use an obvious rising tone.

"No, it's okay." The technical director slipped his lips quickly, but his eyes and person were still firmly fixed in place.

"?"

"I'm just curious, isn't the feeling of being pinched similar to snot?" The technical director finally turned his gaze to the president, with sincerity and curiosity shining in his eyes.

"roll!"

10

It is said that the technical director was called out by the president that day.

Somehow, it soon became public knowledge.The eager people in the whole company concentrated their firepower and heated up the technical department. You come and go, it's very lively.

I just sat down and yawned halfway in the morning. The little executive sister rolled her eyes and handed over a tea egg. While peeling it, she asked, "Oh, I haven't been to the president's office yet. What does it look like inside?"

After coding a few lines of code, the business lady knocked on the door, I heard that you were typed out?Come, tell my sister what's going on.Yes, let's focus on what it's like for the president to beat someone.

It's so easy to open the [-]th wife's MAD to make a call when I have free time, the personnel guy twists in, hesitates to speak, um...ask you...does the CEO...take off his coat in the office?There was also a suspicious blush on his face.

The technical director wondered if he was a cracked egg.From morning to night, the people who come here are almost in time to check in.Can any of you tell me, can I glue that seam up?

Things turned around before he exploded into Saiyan form with his rage.

Because the president started running to the technical department three times a day.

11

"Very well, you managed to get my attention."

12

Weird.

13

Scientific research shows that when your boss comes to stroll around your department when he has nothing to do, even if he doesn't come in and chat awkwardly, your stress will increase exponentially.

Over time, you will become bald.

The technical director is not reconciled to becoming bald like this.Survive through thousands of codes, and Wan Qian kept his eyes open until dawn or even in time for breakfast at night, but couldn't survive the frequent check-ups of the president?No.I disagree.

During a lunch break, he was enjoying a happy meal at Fat House (golden arch takeaway), when he suddenly and keenly noticed the rhythmic sound of leather shoes touching the floor at the door.He rushed out with a brisk stride, blocking the president who was leaning against the wall in a menacing manner.In order to win in terms of momentum, he also yelled an onomatopoeia such as "hè" like the protagonist in an action movie.

The president was stunned for a moment, and he reacted quickly. He raised an eyebrow and stared coldly at the arm that restrained him by the wall.

The technical director suddenly realized: the hasty posture at the moment is called "bidong" as the saying goes.His straight steel man's heart trembled, he quickly withdrew his arms, and took three steps back, almost hitting the wall on the other side of the corridor.

The president is gone.The technical director was left standing alone in the corridor with a red neck, ears and face, embarrassed and cancerous.

"Boss, I'll eat you a chicken nugget!" A joyful voice came from the department office.

"you dare!"

The technical director walked briskly again, and even rushed back faster than before.

14

The president still regards the technical department as his second home.Can't fish anymore.Can't play mobile games anymore.I can't lick Miss Sister anymore.The programmers couldn't stand it anymore, like eggplants beaten by frost in a greenhouse.

"Boss, think of a way!"

Looking at this bleak eggplant field, the technical director also had a headache.

Looking at his African face, which seemed to be more than a dozen orders and failed to ship, a programmer said weakly: "Boss, have you offended the CEO?"

Swish—the eggplants have returned to spring, and they all launched an offensive against the technical director.

Ability: sad eyes

Effect: Make the target get the negative state of "sit on pins and needles", decrease mental strength and increase guilt.

"Wait - I'm not, I'm not!" The technical director tried to save the wave.

"The last time the system crashed, I heard that the boss was kicked out of the office by the president, isn't it?"

"This, uh..."

Programmers put on "I see" faces.

"It's not what you think! I can explain it!" The technical director shouted like an oil painting.

It was too late, the general trend was over, and the programmers seemed to be rolling with the words "Don't come back if you can't solve it" in bold and capital letters.

How chilling it is for subordinates to be disappointed by their superiors.The technical director thought.

15

The newsstand downstairs is the jewel in the heart of the entire technical department.Because there are light novels, manga and figures for sale there.

When the technical director was still a newcomer and could only work in a hidden house secretly, it was inconvenient to use the company address to receive the dead home delivery, so he asked the man downstairs who looked good and talked to the newspaper kiosk to collect it for him.Once you come and go, you will be familiar with it.The uncle was even brought up very knowledgeable by him.

When he becomes the director and takes the lead in building the house, as soon as the doors of the department offices are closed, everyone is a sunny house boy, and they don't have to buy houses secretly anymore.Grateful for the kindness of the newsstand owner who transferred spiritual food, he suggested that programmers uniformly place orders at the newsstand.As a result, the technical department has become the biggest customer of the newsstand owner, and every month they will make a list for the newsstand to purchase and replenish.The newsstand downstairs is renewed periodically to save it from bankruptcy, but the boss is unrestrained, bluntly saying that he can survive day by day.

On this day, the technical director was buying light novels at a newsstand.After passionately arguing with the boss about who is cuter, the first female or the second female, I was suddenly blessed and wanted to ask this uncle who seems to have a lot of life experience and is quite good at communication.

"Boss, I have a friend..."

The boss nodded knowingly, his expression tensed, but there was a hint of excitement in his eyes.

The technical director didn't look at him, and continued: "He has someone he knows, who is usually very indifferent, but suddenly pays attention to him. Why?"

The boss immediately vented his anger: "I have a crush on your friend."

"No, they are all men."

The boss seemed to be electrified, full of energy, and showed a smile of unknown meaning.

"No, they are all straight men!" The technical director was anxious.I thought to myself which little bastard ordered Danmeixiang's things and brought the boss into ruin.Then I thought, wait, doesn't that mean that the department provides it?He has a complicated complexion.

The uncle asked suspiciously: "Straight man? What do you mean? I want to say that it must be ready for a fight. If a man always looks at a woman, he is attracted to it. If a man always looks at a man, he can't stand it."

"Oh."

16

The president wants to fight with me?

I'm free.