my psychotic boyfriend

"I think about how to die all the time, in all kinds of weird ways," Aye wrote, "even strangling myself to death with a girl's headband. But it's different after I met you, you When I’m not happy, I’m in a hurry, I’m not in the mood to think about death.”

Add a picture, the photo is of Dr. Chang's hand, lying on the floor last night, with five fingers spread out to block the light of the ceiling lamp, and the light passes through the fingers.

send.

Doctor Chang was the first to give him a thumbs up, and Aye sent him a heartfelt message triumphantly, and then rolled on the floor several times.

Dr. Chang got up early in the morning and went to work, and Aye looked at his phone boredly.Keep reminiscing about the kiss last night, you never know how greedy you are until you take a sip of something.At the beginning, Doctor Chang kissed very carefully, a bit too gentle, and then A Ye fought back out of control. He almost gnawed Dr. Chang's mouth, and finally he almost got angry when he rubbed it, and was stopped by Doctor Chang.

Doctor Chang's first words were: "I underestimated you, the young man is really angry."

Well, he just doesn't have that much control.

It's just that he posted his feelings on Weibo, and he didn't understand how it caused a stir in Moments.It wasn't until he swiped through "Thousands of Waters and Thousand Mountains" that he found out the culprit among the many promotional news-Duo Duo took a screenshot and reposted his Weibo in Moments, and thoughtfully posted him. Not noticed in the message.

Aye's first reaction was to rush downstairs to see Dr. Chang. He didn't know how such a leak of news would affect him, nor what kind of reaction he would make.When he saw that Dr. Chang was conducting ward rounds with many doctors as usual, Aye was instantly relieved, and he was glad that he only gave a hand.Probably... can't see it.

It's just that after he went down, he wasn't as lucky as Dr. Chang. The patients who had finished their ward rounds instantly surrounded A Ye in a circle. While congratulating him, they asked: Who is that man?Aye scratched his ears and scratched his cheeks, and looked around for heads. He saw Doctor Chang glance at him with question marks on his face through the cracks in the heads. Aye had no time to explain, so he closed his eyes and shook his head slightly to hint.

A Ye swears that in this mental hospital, Dr. Chang's identity will never be hidden next Monday morning, today Wednesday.

It's a pity that A Ye miscalculated, because Dr. Chang suddenly broke through the encirclement of the heads, came over and hooked him by the neck to take him out, and even touched his head affectionately...

A Ye was wearing a hospital gown, just like the "everyone" here, he couldn't tell who was who unless he looked at his face carefully. "Two words.

It's just that his patients, whose brains were stuck in a big truck, didn't understand what was going on for a week, and finally they even understood that the relationship between doctors and patients was harmonious... Well, they are quite traditional, A Ye is a little lucky , and a little lost.

A Ye asked: "Aren't you afraid that others will talk about you? What if they find out..."

Dr. Chang said: "The people who can walk here for a while are those who have gone through the storm and the waves and even look down on life and death. They will understand."

Aye felt an indescribable loss, and couldn't explain why.

Doctor Chang added: "I don't care about people other than here, what do they think and do?"

A Ye's sinking heart rose again in an instant.

"It's you, after you get out of the hospital and see the colorful world outside, you may not remember me, after all, you are so young."

"How could it be!" Aye replied immediately.Although Dr. Chang smiled, Aye knew from his face that he didn't believe him at all. These "well-versed" people can only prove their promises with practice, and it's useless to be obedient.

I don't know if it's the nourishment of love. Ever since I started being ambiguous with Dr. Chang, he responded later, and then the two walked together naturally. The heart rate has dropped, and the appetite has improved.

Every time Dr. Zhu asked him, he always talked about him, but he didn't talk to him seriously. As a result, the discharge time was delayed instead.After Dr. Chang told him, Aye lay on the bed very depressed, because after being discharged from the hospital, he could live in Dr. Chang's house.

But there was no other way, A Ye was about to leave, but Dr. Chang still had to stay here to continue working, so he could only hold back.But this is also very good, reminding him of the classmates who sneaked into puppy love in high school, for fear that the dean would find out if they were not careful.Unexpectedly, he made up for the regrets of high school in the mental hospital.

There was one more person at the dinner table at noon today, a shirt button was unbuttoned, and a beer belly with an unbuttoned suit.The beer belly is a bit dark, and he has a capable cropped hair. A Ye visually inspected it and felt that he was about the same size as him.

Aye worked hard to pick up the rice, and at the same time tried hard to understand their conversation.Dr. Chang peeled the prawns and put them on his dinner plate, and chatted with the beer belly

Aye couldn't even tell how long he hadn't been out. He felt it was a bit difficult to understand their conversation, that kind of strange feeling that he could understand what they meant but couldn't understand their language.

A Ye stared at the beer belly, like staring at an incomprehensible suspense TV series, staring extremely seriously.In the end, the beer belly was laughed at by him, and he couldn't help rubbing his hair with his hands, and said: "This kid is so cute", but was slapped by Doctor Chang.

Beer Belly is Dr. Chang's high school classmate and now a medical representative, who came to their hospital to sell medical equipment.After a while, I found Dr. Chang.No wonder Aye always has the feeling that they seem to be very familiar, but they stop at the end. This kind of half-baked feeling is really difficult to taste with Aye's current IQ.

As his condition improved, Aye's sense of taste gradually recovered, and he finally judged that the food in the hospital was indeed unpalatable, but the food brought by the beer belly was really delicious. It seems that this stomach is not for nothing.Just because he didn't know how the two of them were related, Aye didn't dare to chopsticks more.

Gradually, Aye discovered that the beer belly often brought him things and gave him gifts, which can be called attentive. Every time, Aye was so scared that he hurriedly ran away. Doctors are involved.

About a month later, the date of Aye's discharge from the hospital was finally fixed. He rushed out of the office, and Dr. Zhu's words "run slowly" were thrown behind the door by him.

He couldn't wait to run to tell Dr. Chang the good news, but he didn't know which room he was in at the moment.

"I didn't mean to attack him."

Outside the window on the first floor, beside the stone tables and chairs under the sycamore tree, Aye heard the familiar sound of a beer belly from inside the window. He subconsciously squatted down and put his ear against the wall.Although I don't know what I'm hiding.

Spring has arrived, and there is a "swish" sound of the leaves washed by the gust of wind outside.

"It's really a professional habit," Beer Belly said. "After thinking about it, I realized what's going on with you. To be honest, I really didn't expect it."

"Didn't expect anything?" Chang Dongzhi held the transparent glass water glass, and helped a leaf that fell on the stone table down.

"I didn't expect you to separate from Gu Hong and choose such a child in the end. I didn't expect you to be so stupid."

A burst of anger surged up from the bottom of Aye's heart, his lips trembled uncontrollably, and then a sense of grievance overflowed from the bottom of his heart belatedly.

"What's wrong with Gu Hong? He's smart and wise. That kid is just young. He's still a..."

"If you don't want to make me angry, just be careful with what you say," Chang Dongzhi said coldly.

The beer belly leaned over, "Dong Zhi, life is different from falling in love, it is bitter. You haven't been hurt by money, didn't you suffer less when you were abroad?"

Chang Dongzhi sighed, "I said I can't accept betrayal."

"Isn't it already divorced? You can save yourself having a baby. Wouldn't it be good to have two more sons? I'm only acquainted with you to persuade you like this. How many people like us who are in sales can say such harsh words? Isn't it sick to speak out even though you know people don't want to hear it? I think, there's still time for you to quit now..."

A Ye really wanted to plug his ears, but he also wanted to hear more clearly, but he didn't struggle for long, because there was a huge roar in his heart, and his ears were buzzing, and he couldn't hear the outside at all. sound.

He squatted on the ground, slowly waiting until his heart gradually calmed down after the turbulent waves, and then moved back to the small black room step by step. Aye never moved out of the bed until Doctor Chang came back from get off work.

A Ye spent the whole afternoon reflecting, his mind wandering away from self-condemnation and remorse, wondering if it was because of the improvement of his condition that he had less time to immerse himself in sadness.

Dr. Chang sat on the edge of the bed, brushing his fingers over his cheeks, Aye still closed his eyes tightly and pretended to be asleep.It wasn't until Dr. Chang touched the wet tear stains on the pillow and leaned over worriedly to look over it that Aye realized that he couldn't pretend anymore.He hid for a while, buried his face crookedly in the pillow, and finally had to slowly open his eyes.

Chang Dongzhi turned on the bedside lamp and asked, "What's wrong?"

A Ye held back tears and shook his head, revealing one eye that was already swollen into a steamed bun.

"Why are you crying like this?" Chang Dongzhi couldn't help frowning, wondering if he was ill and secretly endured it.

A Ye didn't know how to explain, she rubbed her face against the pillow until all the tears and snot were wiped away, she stared at him for a while, then she just opened her arms and hugged him, said aggrievedly: "... I don't know what to do with you."

Chang Dongzhi didn't understand what this sentence meant, and was speechless for a while, and then asked truthfully, "What do you mean?"

Aye doesn't want to be a Xianglin's wife, complaining every day "I'm not good enough for you" in order to beg for his comfort, so words like "I'm not good enough for you, I'm dragging you down, let's just let it go" are really not good. Suitable for speaking out.Doctor Chang wouldn't like it, he would be annoyed, and he would be annoyed too.

But he really needed this kind of comfort in his heart.

I don't know how to treat you, I don't know what kind of way is the most comfortable for you.

So can you teach me, I will do whatever you ask me to do, and I can listen to you for everything.

"What do you mean, Ye?" Doctor Chang repeated, "What's wrong with you?"

"Are you happy with me?" Aye buried her face in his shoulder, and said the words in a very soft and muffled voice, as if she was afraid that someone would hear

"Happy", Ah Ye could feel him smiling.My heart also collapsed, "I really like you, but I have never liked anyone else, I don't know how to do it."

"It wasn't like this when you seduced me," Dr. Chang teased, "You're amazing."

Am I good?I don't know either, Ah Ye thought.The beer belly had brought him a lot of blows, and Aye began to worry about his future life after he learned the time of discharge from the hospital.

"Dr. Zhu said that I will be discharged from the hospital on the 10th of next month," Aye said, "but now I don't know what I can do after I am discharged from the hospital."

"Let's rest for a year or two," Dr. Chang pinched his neck and said, A Ye felt that his height was about to catch up with Dr. Chang's, and he was short of...five centimeters?No, five to ten centimeters.

My 18th birthday has passed long ago, and I am not a child myself, but I don't know how to live as an adult.Before entering the hospital, he was in the rebellious period, and he hadn't learned anything serious. He knew every day that he rebelled against his second-married father, but he was thrown in.

"I know you may not like to hear this, but I really...may be your burden, and I will burden you."

Doctor Chang really didn't like to hear it, because he said decisively: "After you know that I don't like to hear it, don't talk about it. It's best not to even think about it."

"...um", Aye agreed murmuringly, his voice sounded like a mosquito humming.

Dr. Chang may have realized that what he just said was a bit harsh, and then explained: "I don't like this kind of discouraging words, I am afraid that I will be affected, and I am not very good at comforting others. If you say this, I don't know what to say. What should I do? Actually, I'm not good at dealing with conflicts..." It's not as warm as you imagined.

In fact, Chang Dongzhi did not say the other half of the reason. What he was afraid of was not a momentary discouragement, but a constant discouragement. In Aye's state, Chang Dongzhi felt that this pessimistic thought should be strangled to death from the very beginning. It's better in bud.He hopes to stay with him is an optimistic and cheerful person who can bring him warmth and strength, instead of asking and struggling all the time.

Thinking of this, Chang Dongzhi couldn't help but think of Gu Hong. Gu Hong is smart and optimistic, and you will never see his sadness.But it's just too optimistic, so optimistic that it doesn't take into account other people's feelings at all.He looked at Aye in his arms, and hugged him involuntarily, wondering how long he could last with the passion of this first love, thinking about the weight of his affection.

"Then I won't say it again, I won't even think about it," Aye said decisively.In fact, he didn't feel that Dr. Chang was not good at dealing with conflicts. He always seemed to be able to handle everything with ease, but the look in Dr. Chang's eyes when he said this seemed to have fallen into some kind of abyss, which was completely different from his usual steady and mature. It may not be that he accidentally poked his wound, maybe he just accidentally saw another side of him that no one knows.This person is actually a lot of thunder, but others can't see his anger.

"I'm just... I'm really sad to hear what other people say about me, and they're right, I can't do anything for you," Aye explained his pessimism and discouragement.

"Did you hear what others said about you?" Dr. Chang was keenly aware of the key point, and looked at him with sharp eyes. A Ye felt that his little thoughts were poked a hole by Dr. Chang's eyes.

"I won't think about it in the future", I will hold back my thoughts, and I promise I can hold back even more than you.

"What did you hear others say about you?" Dr. Chang asked again and again.

A Ye couldn't avoid it, and finally had to lower his head and admit, "I overheard the conversation between you and the beer belly."

"...beer belly?"