Love is worse than nurturing

Gao Han asked the school for a half-day vacation to go to the hospital. After the doctor's consultation early in the morning, he wrote a bunch of orders for him to go to the hospital for examination.

You need to pay for the inspection first. It took more than 1000 for the inspection that went around in the morning.

Gao Han didn't have time to feel sorry for the money, the doctor checked his examination report repeatedly, his brows were furrowed, and Gao Han's heart sank.

There are always many people in the hospital, there are always queues for registered patients, there are never enough wards, nurses push trolleys, and the corridors are full of patients or accompanying family members who come to see the doctor.

The doctor put down the film, adjusted his glasses and asked him, "Is there any family with you?"

Gao Han shook his head.

The doctor could only tell Gao Han about the examination, and asked Gao Han to go through the hospitalization procedures as soon as possible.

Knowing that Gao Han is still in school and cannot be hospitalized, the doctor's face became more serious. He typed out the medicine list on the computer and handed it to Gao Han along with the examination report.

The doctor told him that no matter what, he must be hospitalized as soon as possible.

Gao Han took the medicine list to the payment office to pay, and went to the pharmacy to get the medicine. The young nurse who took the medicine list looked at the medicines on the list, then looked at Gao Han, and sighed softly.

After coming out of the doctor's office, Gao Han was like a wandering soul. He didn't come back to his senses until he walked out of the hospital gate after taking the medicine.

For a long time, Gao Han felt that only time is fair, and that others live a day, and he also lives a day, so he lives hard.

His parents abandoned him, people rejected him, what he desperately pursued was to live like an ordinary person, but his side seemed to lack oxygen, and no one was close to him.

From elementary school to university, he was always surrounded by all kinds of rumors and malice. He tried to refute it, but all he got was worse.

He studied, worked part-time to support himself, and changed to a completely unfamiliar environment if he couldn't stay, but history would repeat itself soon.

Every time, when he thought, it couldn't be worse.

Life would teach him, no, much more than that.

Now, time has abandoned him too.

Gao Han walked out of the hospital and saw that the lawn of the hospital was full of greenery, which looked very beautiful in the sun.

Gao Han unfolded the test sheet in his hand, and there was a shadow on it that he couldn't understand. Just 15 minutes ago, the doctor pointed to the shadow and said to him: "The tumor is in an advanced stage, and the situation is not optimistic. The specifics will not be known until after hospitalization." , Go home and discuss with your family about getting admitted to the hospital soon.”

In the late stage, he was almost terminally ill, and Gao Han's head buzzed, and he sat there, and suddenly he couldn't see or hear.

Doctors have seen too many patients like this. Before entering the hospital, they still think that their health is just a small problem. After entering the hospital, more than half of their lives collapsed.

The hospital is like the first door closed by the ghost gate, it is easy to get in and difficult to get out.

The doctor could only tell Gao Han to go home and discuss with his family members. No matter what, he should be hospitalized first. He is still young, so he still has more hope than others.

So Gao Han nodded obediently, "going home" to discuss with "family".

Discuss with the school's finances whether they can owe tuition fees, and discuss with the bank whether they can give a seriously ill orphan a loan for treatment.

Thinking of this, Gao Han couldn't help laughing himself.

He only took half a day off and did a morning inspection, it was already noon.

He has a class in half an hour, and now he takes the bus back from the hospital, so he may not be able to catch up.

In order to win the scholarship of the college, Gao Han never misses a class, no matter how busy he is with part-time job, he has to wait behind the class.

But now Gao Han suddenly left in no hurry, went to the lawn to find a place to lie down and bask in the sun, watching some people running into the hospital with anxious expressions, and some people leaving the hospital gate with solemn expressions.

Even the grass can find a place to live well, why can't he?

Some patients who were supported or pushed wheelchairs also walked in the garden, and saw a tall and thin boy lying comfortably in the sun, showing a little envy.

Perhaps in their eyes, Gao Han is just a person who prescribes a box of medicine when he has a cold and steals half a day's leisure.

Gao Han is extremely sensitive to people's emotions, so he naturally noticed their thoughts, and suddenly laughed inexplicably.

I don't know whether to laugh at them who are in the blessing and don't know the blessing, or to laugh at myself for being busy for nothing. Later, I laughed so much that my stomach hurts. It took me a long time to realize that it was not the pain of laughing, but the real pain.

The doctor knew that the disease was difficult, so he gave Gao Han a small box of fast-acting medicine, and told him to come to the hospital before the medicine was finished. The fast-acting medicine has serious side effects, so conservative treatment is safe.

The doctor is in his 40s, with a kind face and kind eyes. He has been able to be rational and calm about the pain of patients for many years, but he still rarely shows a little regret when explaining to Gao Han in detail.

Gao Han took out a medicine and threw it into his mouth. There was no water at hand. The powdery white pill tasted strangely bitter. A little fishy.

Gao Han casually put the medicine box into his pocket, touched a hard cardboard box with his fingers, took it out and saw that it was the chocolate given by the doctor in the school infirmary last time.

The box of chocolates has been wrinkled and softened, but the chocolate inside is still intact. The bitter taste in his mouth made Gao Han feel sick, and just about to throw one into his mouth when he opened one, a woman's voice sounded.

"If you eat something bitter mixed with something sweet, it will make you want to vomit even more."

Looking up, in front of her was an old woman with pale hair, neatly dressed, sitting in a wheelchair with a blanket on her knees.

The old woman handed him a bottle of mineral water: "Let's drink water."

Gao Han stood up and took it with both hands, thanked him earnestly, and then unscrewed it and took two big gulps, suppressing the feeling of wanting to vomit in his throat a little.

"I also want to bask in the sun, can you help me push the wheelchair to the lawn?" The old woman was on the path between the lawn and the lawn.

The wheelchair was very heavy, but fortunately the old woman was very light, so Gao Han still carried the wheelchair into the lawn, and tidied up the blankets on the knees.

"It's sunny today. I haven't seen such a bright sun in the courtyard for so long." The old woman squinted her eyes and said with satisfaction.

Gao Han has no experience in chatting with elders about family affairs, so he can only sit and listen in silence, but the old lady doesn't seem to need him to respond, and she keeps talking about which restaurant near the hospital has good food. Which nurse has a big temper and a soft heart.

In fact, it didn't take long, less than half an hour, the old woman's family members rushed over to persuade her in a soft voice, to the effect that seeing the wind outside was not good for her condition.

The old woman couldn't shake the filial piety of her children and grandchildren, so she took off a red string from her wrist, and beckoned Gao Han to tie it on his trembling hands.

Under the strange eyes of the old woman's family, Gao Han obediently reached out and asked the old woman to tie a red string for herself.

"This is for safety. Birth, old age, sickness and death are natural laws. You still have a long way to go. Don't be afraid."

The red string has faded very badly, and it can be seen that the previous owner wore it all year round, but it is still something that is so close to the body and safe, and Gao Han feels that he cannot take it.

The old man's hand was ravenous and skinny, but he pressed Gao Han's wrist with an irresistible force.

"I'll take it with you, so that the road ahead will be smooth and safe."

The family members left with their wheelchairs, and Gao Han sat alone on the lawn, touching the red rope that was still warm.

The old woman's grandson pushed her to a place where Gao Han could not be seen, and then couldn't help asking why the red rope was given to strangers.

The grandson knows how much his grandma attaches importance to this red rope. It was the safety rope that his grandpa asked for from the mountains when his grandfather was still there. Grandma has not lost it after hanging it for so many years. Grandma's legacy.

"I'm going to see your grandfather too. What are you still wearing? I've been safe for more than ten years. I'll give him the rest."

Hearing grandma say this, the grandson's eyes became hot, and he hurriedly said a few times, not allowing grandma to say such unlucky words, which made the old man laugh.

In fact, she was a little bit reluctant, but that child was so distressing.

Even though he was basking in the sun, his body was covered with ice, so it was cold and dark.

She knew he took that medicine, and the old man had also taken it for several years, and it was terribly painful.

Thank you for every bottle of water, even though he is not good at words, but he is respectful and gentle to an old man he doesn't know, and he lowers his head when listening to her talk seriously and well-behaved.

Such a good child, how could he suffer so much?

Anyway, he couldn't catch up with the class in the afternoon. Gao Han had a leisurely meal outside, and went shopping wherever he went. He is very familiar with the public transportation in this city, but he doesn't take the roads in the city very often.

It turned out that the trees planted by the roadside were tall sycamores, and the shopping malls in the city center had seven or eight floors, and they couldn't finish shopping for half a day.

There is only a small door in the hidden shop on the side of the road, and another world is hidden behind the door.

When walking across a bridge, Gao Han was attracted by the sound of rushing water. He never noticed that the water under the bridge turned out to be so fast.

Standing on the bridge and looking down, the splash of water was so white that it dazzled the eyes. Gao Han stood and watched for a long time. I don’t know when there was a girl with a messenger bag standing next to him, almost a meter away, not close. , Occasionally look at him.

Gao Han didn't want to cause trouble for others, so he left after standing for a while. When he left, Gao Han obviously felt that the girl breathed a sigh of relief, and her tense nerves relaxed.

Gao Han smiled at her, and the girl also smiled, with a small dimple on her face, the two seemed to be old friends who had a tacit understanding, tacit understanding.

After having dinner outside, Gao Han went to the central square to kill time. Before, he was always running on the road and didn't have time to stop to take a look. Now he was suddenly told that he was terminally ill, so he had more time.

As night fell, the central square became more crowded, with waist-deep children running around, two or three adults following behind to protect them, peddlers selling various toys, and passing couples holding cartoon hydrogen gas in their hands. ball.

The bakery and food stalls on the side of the square smell a mixture of wheat and oil, and the square is brightly illuminated by the warm lights.

It's so lively, it's a lively scene that Gao Hanchang has never seen before. Being in it, it seems that you can smell the fireworks.

Gao Han saw other people around the food stall making their own small requests, and the busy boss remembered everyone's taste clearly.

Gao Han also leaned over, imitating others and ordering inexperiencedly, grilled cold noodles with chicken tenders, more vinegar and less spicy.

He bought a roasted cold noodle and sat on a bench watching people come and go. He has never bought snacks other than meals. People who don’t even like rice think this thing called roasted cold noodles is pretty cool. delicious.

But I couldn't eat a few mouthfuls. The night was getting deeper and deeper, and the people in the square began to disperse. The roasted cold noodles cooled a little bit in their hands, and there was a greasy smell.

The illusion of being filled dissipated, the surroundings became empty, and the lights dimmed.

Gao Han sat and watched people go home holding hands, and took another bite. The roasted cold noodles were hot and delicious, but they were so unpalatable when they were cold, tears almost fell down.

Gao Han stepped on the shadows under the street lamps for a while, and the staggered lights made a person present two shadows, one dark and one shallow.

In the end, the uneaten bowl of roasted cold noodles was thrown into the trash can, and the owner who discarded it left the square.

The author has something to say: It’s okay to be unhappy, sick children have the right to act like a baby!