King of 25 Cubs

"And then?" I continued to ask: "You have abandoned me, what made you decide to pick me up again?"

"It's not that I want to pick it up."

Gao Sui Yujiang shook his head, and sighed: "I was standing by the trash can, and when I heard your cry, I suddenly felt a strange uncontrollable feeling."

"The spirit is forcibly split into two parts, one half is extremely fearful and wants to escape, the other half bursts out of maternal love, and even thinks that it can do anything for you... No, this kind of strong emotion does not come from maternal love, it is more like a sacrifice. "

"I was manipulated by this sacrificial spirit, and I took you out of the trash can and brought you home. I didn't wake up until I stepped into the house, and the feeling of being out of control disappeared in an instant."

She took a deep breath, covered her face and said sullenly: "The feeling of having your mind invaded and your body being involuntary is too scary. It's like a warning. If I insist on throwing you away, I'm afraid you will be killed by an unknown existence." Complete manipulation... From then on, I will no longer resemble myself, or even, no longer resemble a human being."

"After taking you home again, you fell asleep, and after waking up, the weird feeling disappeared. You are like an ordinary baby, crying when you are hungry, making noise when you are sick, and no longer talking. The supernatural event that happened before was like a hallucination."

Gao Suiyujiang paused, and said: "Although I can't be my own master about your affairs, I have to try my best to forget the horrible incident that happened on the night you were born. But at least I hope to keep my thoughts and feelings... And, if you It is really some kind of evil existence, I will guarantee your basic life, and when you regain your memory or restore your strength, maybe you will let me go."

"Anyway... I have no other choice."

Gao Suiyujiang said with a wry smile: "But I can't do more, I really don't have a good impression of you, and my self-esteem doesn't allow me to serve you as the master, and I will bow my knees from now on."

"So, that's why you've been ignoring me all this time."

I said softly, and there was a long silence, and I asked her, "When you threw me away, were there other people around?"

Gao Suiyujiang thought about it: "It was raining heavily at that time, and it was midnight, and there were no pedestrians on the road. If I have to say, there was a cat sheltering from the rain under the eaves nearby. It was a three-colored cat, male and female. Not sure."

Sanhuamao?

I am confused.

"Eight years have passed in such a muddle, and I met a man in the foreign company where I work, a very ordinary man."

Gao Sui Yujiang slightly turned his head to look out of the window, his eyes softened a lot.

"He was so good to me, so good that I regained my courage to face life, so good... that I want to marry him. In order to end everything in the past, I will bring you back to that small town in Russia— "

"Wait!" I interrupted her, raising my eyebrows slightly: "Take me to Russia? When I was eight years old?"

The memory here is biased. In my impression, Takasu Ikue never took me to Russia!

Gao Suiyujiang's face showed a bit of bewilderment: "Don't you remember?"

I pressed my temples, frowned and said, "Go on."

"Back to that Russian town, I led you to the church in the town... I was a little apprehensive at the time, if you were really a demon or other weird existence, you probably wouldn't be able to enter the church."

"And what I did might irritate you. I almost stepped into the church with a heart of death, but you didn't have any problems."

"I confessed to the bishop and told the bishop about you. His suggestion was to send you to the children's welfare home in the town."

"The name of the orphanage is - Maria."

Hearing this familiar name, my heart tightened, but there was no expression on my face.

"Coincidentally, that orphanage is located where your father and I lived. Even the house we lived in was not demolished and rebuilt, but renovated."

"You are very well-behaved. You didn't say anything along the way, and you were thrown in the orphanage without any response, just like a... a lifeless doll."

"I kept my bank card and agreed with the orphanage to put your living expenses into the card every quarter, and then I returned to Japan. However, within a few months, I saw you again on the streets of Yokohama! I was Very panicked, but you don't seem to see me."

I thought about it and said, "What was I doing when you saw me?"

Gao Suiyujiang pinched his chin and recalled for a moment, and said: "There is a tall man wearing a kimono next to you. He has a saber hanging from his waist. He has silver-gray hair and sharp eyes. His temperament is like a sharp blade sheathed. He It seems that you said something, you happily raised your head and looked at him with that kind of muru eyes."

"I guess he might be the one who adopted you."

That person should be Fukuzawa Yukichi, my master.

"Speaking of which, that man has been here and asked about you."

Gao Suiyujiang seemed to suddenly remember: "It was only a few months ago. He found me and wanted to ask about your biological father, so I made up a set of lies."

"However, he should have seen that I was lying, but he didn't expose me."

Master came to look for Takasu Ikue?

Oh, I remembered, when I was Matilda, the master showed me a video of Dostoevsky leaving the customs, and asserted that there should be some kind of connection between me and him, and asked me if I had any family members.

My answer was that I didn't want to have any contact with my mother, so Master said that he would send investigators from the agency to ask my mother, but I didn't expect him to come to ask in person.

I mentioned before that the nested two worlds are like the AB sides of a tape.The A world I lived in since I was a child was stripped of all supernatural beings; and the B world I later traveled through was stripped of everything related to me.

In my memory, eight years old is indeed the dividing point.

I grew up to be eight years old in world A, and my mother never returned home since then; but when I traveled to world B, I was eight years old, and my master picked me up in Russia.

And when I returned to world A, the system came back to me, because the two worlds overlapped due to the magnetic field storm, and the singularity of the magnetic field storm was on me...

When I was deep in thought, Takasu Ikue said again: "That's all I know, I'll tell you everything now."

"There is one last question." I looked at her and said slowly: "After you became pregnant, that man suddenly disappeared. Why do you feel that you were cheated, not that something happened to him, he was imprisoned or monitored, and he couldn't be contacted?" You, or are you dead at all? After all, you also guessed that he was avoiding hunting."

This time, Takaho Ikue was silent for a long time.

She seemed to be in a depression and confusion, but soon, she came out of this depression.

"Have you ever loved anyone?" she asked me.

I froze for a moment.

"A person's intuition in love, especially the bad intuition, is [-]% or [-]% correct."

Gao Suiyujiang hooked the corners of his lips, and said in a cold tone: "He is my husband, my pillow person. We have been together for almost four years, but I don't know him as well as the most ordinary colleagues around me."

"At first I really thought something was wrong with him, so I waited for two months. During those two months, I gradually wanted to understand a lot of things, details that I hadn't paid attention to before - hiding everywhere; often calling late at night ; money that has never been short; countless aliases; and a visitor who came to the door before he said he wanted a child, but he paid me, and I didn't even know what the visitor's face looked like... I thought The experiential life and free stimulation are all a game."

Gao Suiyujiang leaned forward slightly and looked at me fixedly: "This game is, let me give birth to you."

I was speechless for a moment.

"Who on earth are you?" She pursed her lips, and continued: "Or another way of asking, what are you?"

"I'm a human being, even if I cut a knife, I'll bleed."

I took out a note and a note from my pocket, quickly wrote down a series of numbers, and wrote lightly: "If you encounter danger in the future, you can call this number, and it is best to set it as an emergency contact."

The phone number I gave belonged to the special services department in charge of witness protection and family protection of investigators.

"No need." Gao Suiyujiang's face was cold: "All the dangers and fears I have experienced come from you."

In other words, I kept my distance from her and she was safe.

"Since the terrible events you have experienced are all to ensure that you will give birth to me and raise me, because only if you survive, can I survive. Have you ever thought about another possibility?"

I looked at her fixedly: "My existence may have allowed you to avoid other risks. Otherwise, you might have died a long time ago, died in an accident, or died from the injury of others."

Takaho Ikue was stunned.

"Of course, this kind of thing can no longer be verified."

I bowed slightly to Gao Suiyujiang: "I caused you a lot of trouble before, I hope you will have a happy life and a happy family in the future, and from now on... forget about me completely."

I stood up, turned and left without any delay.

When crossing the yard, the host nodded politely, and the girl who had smiled at me before waved to me.

"Goodbye~"

I knew Takasu Ikue was watching me from behind, so I turned my head blankly and walked away quickly.

Passing by a nearby house, the chubby "Dr. Ali" whom I had seen at Dongda this morning was humming a little song and watering the flowers in the yard.

Did Shirley live in Mihua Town after leaving the winery?

The thought was fleeting, and I threw it behind me.

While it was still dark, I went to some places again, all of which were places where I stayed in World A for a while between the ages of eight and 15.

I visited the former school, asked the head teacher, and checked the school database. All the answers and records showed that I was not accepted as a student; I called my middle school classmates, and no one remembered that there was a mixed-race student in the class. .

Even the neighbors before moving to Yokohama don't remember a girl named Takaho Yuka living next door.

The experience of the past six years was like being completely erased by an unknown hand and replaced with the experience of the B world.

I sat on the side of the busy street and called Master under the street lamp: "Master, where did you find me in Russia? I only remember that it was in ruins."

"In a small town around Moscow, there was an orphanage called 'Maria', but that orphanage had collapsed at that time."

"Then...Master, why did you go to Russia? Is it because of work?"

"Actually not." The master paused for a moment and said, "My master Natsume Soseki asked me to go. He pointed out the place and time, and told me that I might gain something."

After the establishment of Yokohama's "separation of powers" policy, the mysterious old man disappeared, and even the master could not find him.

I wanted to ask him about myself, but I couldn't find him, so I gave up.

Master paused, then asked me again: "What happened?"

I smiled and said cheerfully: "It's nothing, I just think it's great to meet Master."

After hanging up the phone, I suddenly felt very dazed.

If all the traces of the past are erased, what will my seven years of struggle and hard work be?

If my experiences are illusory, what about me as a person?Is it also illusory.

Alas, I'm not even sure I'm human anymore.

"Xiao Qi, who am I?"

The system did not speak for a long time, just when I thought it would not reply to me, it suddenly said:

【It's 'beep——'】

I:? ? ?

Why is it still silent?My identity is so shameful, I have to make a mosaic?

The system sighed, and put it another way:

[It's Maria. 】

Not Maria Dmitrievna Isaeva.

It's Maria.

"Do you think the name is too long?"

【No, just Maria. 】

I sat on the side of the road for a long time, too lazy to move, just watching people coming and going.

I waited until night to completely soak my clothes, waited until there were few vehicles and even the street lights were turned off, and then I walked home slowly.

It was past zero at this time.

When I walked into the house, I was on the phone with Gandi who stayed up late every day: "Mr. Anwu, is there a supernatural power that can completely erase all my memories of others?

Mr. Anwu was silent for a moment, a little surprised: "What are you going to do?"

"I think the nature of my job is a bit dangerous, and my...my mother is human, and I hope it's best for her to forget about me."

"There is no Supernatural Secret Service Division, but there is an organization - [Seventh Agency], which should detain such supernatural beings. Do you need me to ask for you?"

"please."

I breathed a sigh of relief, turned a corner, and changed the topic: "By the way, Mr. Ango, since something happened to Sigma, can I not—"

Before I finished speaking, I walked through the path and the cascading green plants in the yard, and I saw Osamu Dazai sitting on the porch, with one leg stretched out and the other bent, and Deng Tuzi standing on his shoulders.

There are steps in front of him, and there is a bright light behind him.

"Don't call me a beauty, but a handsome guy." He was teaching Deng Tuzi how to speak: "Come on, follow me-handsome guy~"

"Beauty~"

"handsome guy."

"beauty."

"Handsome guy!"

"Beauty, beauty!"

Dazai gave a "tsk" sound: "What's the matter with you stupid bird? Did you do it on purpose?"

Probably irritated by the word "stupid bird", Deng Tuzi said with disdain: "Bah! Baldy! Ugly!"

In the end, just because of such a title, Dazai rolled up his sleeves and started a fight with the parrot in a particularly useless manner.

He jumped up and grabbed Deng Tuzi's tail, and Deng Tuzi flapped his wings and grabbed his head with his mouth.

The bright porch suddenly jumped up and down, very lively.

"Oh, I admit defeat, don't be pecked and you will be bald... Let go, if you peck again, I will make soup with you!"

"Ugly, ugly, ugly!"

"Okay, okay, I'm ugly, you stupid bird!"

Deng Tuzi flew away angrily, and when he left, he was still shouting: "Ugly thing~ ugly thing~"

"What's the mess with you?" On the other end of the phone, Mr. Anwu asked me, "What did you say just now? Don't you need to take the entrance exam to Dongda?"

I looked at Dazai, who was flapping his windbreaker stained with bird feathers, and raised the corners of my lips unconsciously: "Tokyo University still has to take the exam, and I suddenly feel that academic qualifications are also very important."

Mr. Anwu was a little puzzled: "Then what do you want to say?"

I cleared my throat, said "nothing", hung up the phone, went to the steps and looked up at Dazai: "Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Wait for you, you didn't say you wouldn't come back tonight."

Dazai stroked his disheveled black hair, and muttered in a dissatisfied tone: "You parrot is really too stupid, no matter how you teach it, you can't learn it."

I walked up the steps briskly and sat beside him: "Yeah, so stupid."

How stupid to lose in a fight with a parrot!

Dazai turned his head, squinted his eyes and looked at me for a while, then suddenly waved to me: "Yuguoguo, come closer, there is something for you to see."

"what?"

Fearing that it might be some kind of prank again, I walked over slowly with a bit of vigilance.

He suddenly reached out and put his hand on top of my head, pressing me into his lap.

"If you are tired, take a rest."

He covered my eyes, spoke softly, with a kind of understanding and concern of "I understand you", and bent the other leg to make my pillow more comfortable.

As lazy as I was on the side of the road, I succumbed to this care and companionship without any resistance, but my heart was slowly filled with something—warm, sour, and soft, slowly expanding, expanding, It broke open again with a pop.

Finally, it converges into a gentle and wide warm lake.

After a long time, I whispered to him, "Who am I?"

If my birth was a chain, if the pain I had experienced was erased, would I still be me?

If so, then who am I?

Or, what am I?

Dazai let go of his hands, changed his posture, put his hands on the floor of the porch, and leaned back slightly.

The clear and cheerful voice without the slightest haze flowed into my ears slowly.

"There are many forms of life, and so are lifestyles. Choosing an identity is equivalent to choosing a life."

"You can be Takaho Yuka, you can be Bald Qiang, you can be Matilda, you can be Coca-Cola, you can be Lychee and Watermelon...you can even be any person or any kind of existence in the world."

"All of the above, what changes is the way of life. What remains the same is the mind and the soul."

He lowered his head and looked at me, with amber glimmering in his slightly bent eyes, he said leisurely:

"The reason why you are you does not come from who you are. It is because of your experiences, because you choose to work hard to survive, and you are what you are today."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said:

"Then... what if even the experience is faked? What if my life is a pre-arranged script, if... I mean, if, maybe in this world, there shouldn't be an existence like me at all?"

After I finished speaking, I opened my eyes again and looked at him.

Dazai suddenly smiled, that kind of rare, youthful, righteous smile.

"Who the hell arranged the script? I want to give him a pennant, two sides! Because the script is so cute, it made me meet you."

I chuckled.

"When I find out who it is, I will tell you."

After that, we quietly looked at the stars above our heads and didn't speak for a long time.

After being silent for a long time, I got up suddenly, full of energy and said: "I'm fine again, now I have to do something."

"Is it important? Is it necessary?"

"It must be done."

"How can I help you?"

"Only me, you can't go."

Dazai let out a long sigh, rested his chin and said, "I originally said brazenly that I would try to make you stop using that ability, but it was still a miscalculation."

He looked into my eyes again: "Can I watch you leave and watch you come back?"

"can."

"When you come back, I want to hear your story about this journey."

"it is good."

He sighed again: "Where is the time?"

"Eight years ago, when I was eight years old."

I decided to go back to eight years ago, find out some truths, and then use my ability to jump back to the present time.

"Eight years ago..." He thought for a while: "I wasn't in Yokohama at that time. If it's convenient, can Yuka go to the largest fishing port in Tsugaru City, Aomori Prefecture?"

I got up and asked him suspiciously, "What are you doing there?"

Dazai blinked and showed a mysterious smile: "There is a little boy who always sits on a rock and looks up at the sky. He really wants a candy."

Osamu Dazai eight years ago?

So I became a space-time courier?

Suddenly feel that you can develop a new business?Maybe you can make a lot of money with this.

It's a pity that this business is too expensive, otherwise it can really be considered.

I stared at him silently, and finally nodded: "Okay."

I took out the gun, moved a little away from Dazai, and pointed it at my forehead. Before I pressed the trigger, Dazai suddenly pressed the back of my hand.

"Are you coming back?"

His tone seemed calm, but there was a deep, almost imperceptible uneasiness hidden in it.

I stared at his hand and said dumbly: "Stay away from me, I will definitely come back."

After finishing speaking, Dazai stood up quickly, ran directly behind the pillar separated several meters from me, poked out half of his face, and looked at me eagerly.

Observation in the dark.jpg

I suddenly didn't know whether to pull the trigger or not.

"...or you should turn your head away."

"I don't!" Dazai puffed up his cheeks: "I said I would send you away and pick you up again!"

"Okay." I pointed at my forehead again and comforted him: "It should be a blink of an eye for you, very quickly."

I pull the trigger.

"boom!"

The author has something to say:

Dazai suddenly rushed over

Full text finished (not)

In order for him to owe me two pennants, I decided not to write x

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感谢在2020-05-2117:45:08~2020-05-2319:04:50期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: 1 target;

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 18 bottles of Bifrost; 5 bottles of Xingxing Liaoyuan and Lingyu; 3 bottles of Mr. He’s aunt;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!