Years of Intoxication

Running out of Song Juhan's house, He Gu couldn't hold on anymore.

Fortunately, there was no one there at night, otherwise he would look really ugly with his pants up.

He ran back into the car in embarrassment, started the car impatiently, and drove home.

Halfway through the drive, he suddenly remembered that Song Juhan had given him the car, and suddenly his stomach churns, he slammed the steering wheel, and pulled the car to the side of the road.

He leaned back in the chair tiredly, and slowly closed his eyes.

In the past six years, Song Juhan has treated him well. Houses, cars, expensive gifts every now and then, and red envelopes during festivals are all without him. When he is in a good mood, he will hug him tenderly. Speaking of it, as long as they can endure the volatile temper, the two of them are quite harmonious, and Song Juhan did not treat him badly.

As for Song Juhan sleeping with others and spreading gossip, that is beyond his control. Just like what he said to Feng Zheng, it is not Song Juhan's fault that Song Juhan doesn't like him. There is neither promise nor agreement between the two of them. He is very clear-headed. He knows that the pain he experienced from Song Juhan is all because of his mediocrity, and it is all because of his willingness.

He thought that after so many years of running-in, he could already endure many of Song Juhan's bad deeds, but he still underestimated the extent of Song Juhan's bastard today.

He took out half a pack of cigarettes from the drawer and fumbled for a long time before he found the lighter.

Because Song Juhan didn't like it, he kept it hidden when he wanted to smoke a cigarette.

He opened the car window, let the cold and clammy wind blow in, and the smoke rose slightly, blurring his vision.As the taste of nicotine traveled back and forth in his lungs, his confused brain was also awakened by the stimulation of tobacco.

It's ridiculous, his feelings for Song Juhan, no matter how you look at it, it's a joke.This joke hangs over his head like a guillotine. For many years, he has been waiting for the guillotine to drop, waiting for Song Juhan to say goodbye to him. He has been preparing for that day. Now, he feels that that day is not far away.

The phone rang suddenly, He Gu's heart skipped a beat, he quickly took it over, and saw that it was an unfamiliar number, he let out a sigh of relief, and answered the phone: "Hello?"

"Why, it's me." Feng Zheng's voice came from the other end of the phone.

"Well, say." He Gu's voice was very cold, he usually has this kind of virtue, and after the verbal conflict that day, it was even more impossible for him to give Feng Zheng any good looks.

"I want to apologize to you for what happened that day."

"It's nothing."

"Your umbrella is with me, return it to you when you have time."

"It's just an umbrella, don't use it."

Feng Zheng smiled wryly: "I just want to have an excuse to see you again, so give me some face."

He Gu sighed: "Feng Zheng, what do you want to do?"

Feng Zheng's energy can't help but make people think wrongly. It has been six years, and Feng Zheng has no need to be courteous to him at all.But he still didn't believe that Feng Zheng would end his old love with him.

There was silence on the other end of the phone: "I just miss you a little bit, and miss our good old days."

He Gu's heart suddenly became a little sour, and he couldn't help recalling the things he and Feng Zheng had in college. They really had a good time, although most of the time it was just ambiguous, and they broke up in the end. It's also hard.The only two people in his life who have moved his heart are Feng Zheng and Song Juhan. He is a very long-term person, otherwise he would not like someone for so long. Feng Zheng is always placed in a sunny place in his heart. In the corner, those were the youthful years that would never go back, because it was really beautiful, so he couldn't be too cruel to this man.

Feng Zheng said again: "I promise not to mention you and Song Juhan again, can we be friends?"

"You..." He Gu said helplessly, "If you do what you say, we will still be friends."

Feng Zheng smiled: "I will do what I say. When you are free, I will treat you to dinner."

"Wait to finish the case at hand, there are too many things recently."

"What are you doing now? It doesn't sound like home."

He Gu was stunned for a moment, "Uh, I just finished working overtime and am going home."

"I'm at a friend's bar, not far from your company, come over for a drink?"

"No, I'm too tired today, and I don't even know each other."

"You're still so afraid of meeting strangers." Feng Zheng smiled lowly and said, "Are you afraid even if I'm around?" There was clearly a hint of imperceptible pampering in that voice.

"It's not a question of whether you're afraid or not, it's really a little tiring."

"Well, then you go back and have a good rest, and I will ask you out another day."

After hanging up the phone, He Gu calmed down a bit before he smoked his cigarette and drove the car back home.

The house is empty and there is no breath of life. He seldom eats at home. Once he is busy with work, he has no time to do anything other than take a shower and sleep when he returns home. To him, this place is sometimes more like a hotel.

This apartment was also given by Song Juhan. It really looks like Song Juhan is taking care of him. Although he doesn't need anyone to support him, but to buy such a house in the third ring road, he has to pay back the mortgage for ten or twenty years.

Regarding Song Juhan giving him the RV, he neither feels humiliated nor grateful. These things don’t mean much to him. He has very low material requirements, and he is a calm character even if he rents a house and squeezes the subway. Song Juhan wanted to give him something, it was Song Juhan's voluntary, just like he was rushing to like someone who couldn't like himself, it was also voluntary.No one else.

However, every time he had trouble with Song Juhan, he would feel that the car and the house were an eyesore, especially this always empty and unpopular house. One day if Song Juhan gets bored, he may be alone forever.

After that day, the two had no contact for half a month.

Half a month is actually not a long time. When Song Juhan is busy or writing songs in retreat, it is normal not to see anyone for a month or two, but the last time they broke up, it was the most intense conflict between the two in six years. This made He Gu suffer every day.

After his anger subsided, He Gu wanted to call Song Juhan several times, but he couldn't muster up the courage. He didn't feel ashamed, but he was afraid to know whether they had reached the end of the mountain or not.He tested Song Juhan's time limit for him time and time again, and also tested his own bottom line time and time again. Every time he opened a hole in his heart, he felt a self-sabotaging sense of redemption, because the more disappointed he was now, the more he would wait until the day of parting. It will be easier, and after he has squandered all his feelings for Song Juhan, he should be able to leave gracefully.

But not yet, not yet.He seemed to be running after the lead wire of dynamite. Whether the dynamite exploded first or he got tired and stopped first is unknown, but no matter where he stops, the bomb will definitely explode and he will definitely be injured. If he stopped a little bit, the damage would be less, but he couldn't restrain his legs.

One day he couldn't bear it any longer, so he quietly called Xiaosong. He deliberately picked the time at eleven o'clock in the evening, thinking that Xiaosong should have gone home. Unexpectedly, when the call was connected, there was a KTV place over there. The voice, Xiaosong's voice is not small, and he deliberately raised his voice in the KTV: "Hey, Brother He Gu."

He Gu closed his eyes: "It's me."

"Wait, I'll go out and tell you." Xiaosong obviously drank some wine, and his tongue was a little bit loud.

After a while, the phone was quite quiet, He Gu said: "Xiao Song, you haven't come home yet?"

"Why don't you come out to play with Brother Han?"

He Gu suddenly regretted making this call, Song Juhan should have heard it just now... He is completely unfamiliar with Xiaosong, Song Juhan knows why he called.

"Brother why?"

"Ah, oh, then you can play, I will hang up first."

"What's wrong? There must be something wrong when you called." Xiaosong burped: "It's okay, I'm not high, tell me."

He Gu was silent for a while: "How is Ju Han?"

Xiaosong paused, and his voice was serious: "It's good, but I'm busy. Haven't you two seen each other recently?"

"No..." He Gu didn't know the meaning of his call for a while, so he could only bite the bullet and say, "How is he feeling these two days?"

"The past two days have been pretty good. The first half month, oh my god, it's terrible. I've got my resignation letter in my pocket. Fortunately, I survived."

"Oh..." He Gu didn't know what to say again.

Xiao Song also felt a little embarrassed: "Brother He Gu, did you two quarrel?"

"It doesn't count."

"I'll mention you to Brother Han when he's in a good mood."

He Gu smiled bitterly: "Thank you." What does he look like?A concubine waiting for the emperor to flop?We still have to rely on the help of Xiao Song, the personal eunuch, otherwise the emperor would have forgotten about him long ago.really interesting.

But he really wanted to see Song Juhan, he was no longer satisfied with just looking at photos and videos.

Sometimes, he was very thankful that Song Juhan never gave him any hope during these six years, otherwise he would be tortured to death by his own possessiveness and imagination.

After hanging up the phone, He Gu sat in the dark for a while, and then dug out Song Juhan's new album released last year.The 65-inch TV he bought has arrived. With such a large size, it really looks very stylish.

He Gu leaned on the soft sofa, watched the handsome and evil man like the king of the night on TV, and heard the sexy and hoarse voice whispering in his ears like a curse, his heart trembled uncontrollably.

There are so many people in the world who like Song Juhan, but he can be so close to Song Juhan, he should be content.

He told himself, contentment, contentment, contentment.

Why would a phone ringing wake me up.He opened his eyes suddenly, and found that he fell asleep on the sofa at some point, and Song Juhan's album had already been played.

He took the mobile phone, it was already past two o'clock in the middle of the night, it was Xiaosong who called, his heart skipped a beat, maybe something happened to Ju Han.

He quickly connected the phone: "Hello, little..."

"Brother He Gu, Brother Han is in some trouble here, can you come here?"

He Gu's heart tightened, and he jumped up from the sofa: "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how the fans knew he was here. Now the fans have blocked the front and back doors of the KTV. Brother Han is getting angry after drinking."

He Gu breathed a sigh of relief, he thought that Song Juhan was in danger, he said: "I'll go over now... Hey, isn't there someone in your company who handles these things?" He was afraid that he would not be able to help if he went there.

Xiao Song said embarrassingly: "Well, if the boss finds out, he will blame me for not protecting Brother Han's whereabouts, so..."

He Gu understood: "Give me the address, I'll be there in a while." He quickly put on his clothes, took the keys and rushed out of the house.

There were few cars at night, so He Gu ran through two red lights and rushed to the KTV at the fastest speed.

Sure enough, the entrance of the KTV was crowded with crazy fans and passers-by who joined in the fun.

He Gu pushed aside a group of people and squeezed to the door, he stood out from the group of little girls, looking quite abrupt.

The KTV bodyguard who was blocking the door glanced at him: "Are you..."

"Yes, why am I?"

The bodyguard let him in.

The waiter took He Gu to the box, and before he reached the box, he heard Song Juhan furious inside.

"Get out, I want to go home, who the hell dares to stop me—"

"Brother Han, there are all your fans outside, your image is not good..."

"What the fuck are fans? They're just a bunch of idiots, do they know me, do I know them? Go away!"

There was a clanging sound inside.

He Gu pushed open the door, and saw Xiaosong blocking Song Juhan with sweat profusely, and two male waiters beside him, panicked and bewildered.

After Song Juhan saw He Gu, he was stunned, and frowned: "Why are you here?" He looked at Xiaosong: "You let him come? You are so brave, who the hell let you do it yourself!"

"Brother Han, Brother Han, listen to me, you can scold me whatever you want when you wake up tomorrow, please listen to me now, if you are photographed like this, President Song will kill me." Xiaosong He was about to cry, and kept looking at He Gu for help.

Only then did He Gu realize that Xiao Song was looking for him to appease Song Juhan, otherwise it would be easy to get Song Juhan out with so many bodyguards and waiters inside and out, but Song Juhan is now reeking of alcohol and full of anger. When the fans broke out under the push and push, if they said or did something serious, it would be troublesome.

He Gu walked over: "Ji Han, calm down, there are really a lot of your fans outside, maybe even reporters, now..."

Song Juhan grabbed his collar: "Who the hell made you come, get out!"

He Gu didn't argue with him, but gently grabbed his hand: "Ji Han, you don't usually drink much, so don't let alcohol control you, okay?"

He Gu's appearance is very upright, with three courts and five eyes, exactly the same. When soothing people with serious eyes and a gentle and honest voice, it can give people an unusually reassuring power.

Xiao Song winked at the waiter, and they all backed out, leaving only two people in the private room.

Song Juhan waved his hand away, and said in a rough voice: "I want to go home, it's suffocating here, let those idiots outside get out of the way."

He Gu pressed his shoulders, let him sit on the sofa, pinched the back of his neck with his strong hands: "I'll take you home in a while, now you calm down, okay?"

Song Juhan closed his eyes, He Gu pinched him very comfortably, his slender eyelashes trembled slightly, and his breathing became much more stable.

He Gu looked at his slightly trembling eyelashes, thinking of his willful and irritable appearance, he couldn't help a wry smile from the corner of his lips.Song Juhan liked to give him a massage by himself, so he learned massage specially to give Song Juhan another reason to stay with him. In fact, he had made a lot of efforts to get closer to Song Juhan, but Song Juhan would probably never know it in his whole life.

After pressing it for a while, Song Juhan really calmed down, He Gu quickly poured him a glass of water.

Song Juhan took a sip of water, opened his eyes and looked at He Gu: "Since when did your relationship with Xiao Song get so good?"

"We're not doing well."

Song Juhan smiled sarcastically: "Didn't you ask Xiaosong to call you over today? Do you think I didn't know you called him at night? I was right next to him."

I don't know how to explain why, so I just acquiesced.

Song Juhan sneered, with a somewhat smug tone: "It's only been half a month, I thought you would last longer."

He Gu felt a little panicked in his heart, and his head was so heavy that he couldn't lift it up.

Song Juhan took another sip of water, put the glass on the table suddenly, grabbed He Gu's hair roughly, forced him to raise his head, and pressed his hot lips against it.

A trace of surprise flashed in He Gu's eyes.

Song Juhan wantonly swept He Gu's mouth, and then let him go.

He Gu licked his lips, a pair of black and white black eyes looked at Song Juhan without blinking.

He Gu's slightly confused look when he licked his lips made Song Juhan's heart tremble: "Did you miss me?" He pinched Song Juhan's chin, his aggressive eyes seemed to be looking at his belongings.

He reason nodded.

"How much do you think?"

"I think about it every day."

Song Juhan stretched out his finger, and touched He Gu's heart: "I want it more here..." Then the other hand moved down and pinched He Gu's waist, "Is it more I want it here?"

He Gu held his face and kissed him tenderly: "I want to."

Song Juhan smiled, and his mood improved a lot, he knew why he couldn't leave him.

He Gu showed a slight smile: "Let's go home."

Song Juhan didn't move, he gently stroked He Gu's face with his slender fingers, his eyes were bottomless: "Did Zhuang Jieyu tell you what I was playing with others?"

He Gu's smile froze.

Song Juhan curled his lips into a smile: "It's true, sometimes it's too frustrating to meet people who are tired when they're half done, so I'll find two." line, "But I never take you to play, do you know why?"

With a blank face, He Gu said in a deep voice, "I don't play."

"You have no way to play, I don't allow it." Song Juhan pinched He Gu's face: "You are very clean, you have been following me since you graduated from college, and your life circle is very simple. I don't like tricks, so I like Your clean. Got it? Don't let anyone touch you because that's your only advantage."

When He Gu looked at his favorite face, he felt blurry, so blurry that he couldn't see clearly.His heart throbbed like suffocation, making it difficult for him to form words.In the end, he just nodded calmly, his face was like a mask with a copper wall and an iron wall, blocking the sword from the outside and blocking emotions from the inside.

Song Juhan looked at He Gu's calm and breezy appearance, frowned slightly, and kissed him forcefully, "Let's go, go home."

He Gu followed and stood up. He walked behind Song Juhan, looking at the back, even if it was a back, it seemed to radiate light.

He spent ten years chasing this figure. He tried his best to get closer and closer, but it was nothing more than that. The gap between the two would never disappear. What can be changed.

He Gu took a deep breath and couldn't help laughing.

In fact, it is almost the same as what he guessed, Song Juhan has not broken up with him for so many years, it is nothing more than comfortable sex and safety - safety in various senses, he will neither go out to mess around, nor talk bad, and will not cause trouble for Song Juhan .What Song Juhan said today is nothing more than confirming his conjecture, nothing more.

In fact, he felt that he and Song Juhan were in an exchange of equal value.Song Juhan obtained safe sex from him, he obtained companionship from Song Juhan, both of them got what they wanted, and everyone was happy.

As for the pain and despair he experienced, it has nothing to do with others, just like he likes Song Juhan, it is only his business.