Dingjiangshan

Ning Huaijin also stretched her arms around Ning Yan, and patted him on the back lightly like she did when she was a child.

"Actually, I have thought a lot in the mansion these past few days." Ning Huaijin's voice was still a little hoarse, and the voice was very soft, which sounded gentle and kind: "Actually, if you don't reflect on yourself, you don't know. You should calm down. When I was thinking about it, I suddenly realized that sometimes I was too harsh on you."

"What are you talking about?" Ning Yan said in a low voice: "Go and ask the civil and military and clan relatives of the Manchu Dynasty. They think you are too spoiled for me."

"I used to think the same way. I always felt that I would follow you in everything except business, which would be a special treatment for you. But..." Ning Huaijin pursed her lips, and continued with some difficulty: " But it's not."

"I want to say that everyone in this world has to rely on you, and I am no exception." Ning Huaijin said: "But at least in this kind of time, you can also rely on me."

This topic was obviously more difficult for Ning Huaijin to talk about than the one just now, and he didn't even understand it himself, so he talked about it with a hammer and a stick, which sounded a bit cloudy.

Ning Huaijin obviously noticed this too. He thought for a while in silence, as if he had suddenly found a clue, and said, "...I should have found out a long time ago."

Ning Yan leaned on his shoulder and blinked, suddenly blissful in his heart, as if he had guessed what Ning Huaijin wanted to say in an instant.

"Uncle Emperor." Ning Yan subconsciously wanted to stop him: "Don't."

"It doesn't matter whether it's Ruan Yin or Ning Zheng. Gather up power, purge the court, confiscate the land and put down the rebellion—you've said these things too lightly, as if they came easily and easily." Ning Huaijin sighed and tightened her grip. Arm, hugged Ning Yan in his arms, and said softly: "...So I really believed it."

As soon as Ning Huaijin said the words, she felt sour in her heart.In fact, even he himself felt before that throughout the ages, no one has spoiled an emperor like he spoiled Ning Yan, leaving him to decide everything except court affairs.

But these days, when Ning Yan refused to see him or accept his overtures, Ning Huaijin closed the door and thought about it seriously for a long time.

It wasn't until he calmed down that he realized that although he had always regarded himself as a "relative" with Ning Yan, in fact, most of the time, he saw Ning Yan as no different from others.

Ning Yan is the emperor, the master of the thousands of miles of land - in Ning Huaijin's heart, this seems to be a matter of course.

From his enthronement to the present, Ning Yan has always had a smile on his face these years, shallow and light, open-hearted and self-deprecating, laughing when he is happy, and laughing when he is angry, his heart is hidden under layers of worries, and he is overwhelmed. out of breath.

Even for the matter of pleasing him, Ning Yan couldn't easily let go of the burden and simply "like" him. Instead, he had to plan and calculate, step by step, and tidy up his mind bit by bit. Then find an opportunity to show Ning Huaijin bit by bit.

He was emperor for 12 years - 12 years is not short, and for many people, this is already the longest period of life.

During these years and months, Ning Yan sat on the high dragon chair and gathered Jiangshan in his hands bit by bit.He tore his calculations and plans into tiny threads, subtly buried them in the court day after day, and finally weaved the situation into what he wanted.

He did it so securely and so covertly, so everyone has gotten used to it, used to his indifferent appearance, and also used to hand over the burden of the world to him naturally.

Ning Huaijin was no exception.

But it wasn't until this time that Ning Huaijin suddenly realized that Ning Yan was only 19 years old.

He just passed his birthday, and he was only nineteen years old. In an ordinary family, such an old child would have to be taught by his family not to study hard. How could it be Ning Yan? It must be copper-skinned and iron-framed, and a single spine can resist the world.

"Actually, you told me before." Ning Huaijin's tone was mixed with distress and self-blame: "At first you told me that you didn't want to spoil your feelings like the late emperor, and then you told me about Shu About the concubine, and later in Anqing Mansion, you brought up the uneasiness and bewilderment you felt when you were guarding the spirit... Actually, you told me all these things, but I didn't pay attention."

"...I didn't realize that you were afraid before." Ning Huaijin said.

Ning Yan suddenly grabbed a small piece of fabric at Ning Huaijin's back waist, and leaned against Ning Huaijin's arms in an extremely intimate position, his silence was abnormal.

Ning Huaijin only thought that he was temporarily embarrassed, and was about to say more, but suddenly felt a heat on his shoulder.

He froze for a moment before suddenly realizing what it was.

——It was Ning Yan's tears.

Ning Yan seemed to be used to hiding his emotions, he cried very restrainedly, he didn't shake or sob, if it wasn't for the pillow on Ning Huaijin's shoulder, the tears flowed down the underwear into Ning Huaijin's neck, Ning Huaijin couldn't find this either.

But Ning Yan obviously cried a lot this time, he obviously didn't look up, but Ning Huaijin could still tell a little bit of his emotion from those tears.

Ning Yan hadn't shed tears since she was six and a half years old, even when it was the most difficult, painful and wronged time, she still gritted her teeth and endured it.Ning Huaijin didn't expect her few words to make people cry, and suddenly panicked at a loss.

"Xiao Yan, Xiao Yan?" Ning Huaijin gently pushed his shoulder.

Ning Yan responded with a sound that sounded like weeping, which sounded extremely aggrieved.He didn't let go of Ning Huaijin, but hugged him even tighter, as if he wanted to make up for all the losses that he had lost over the years, tears streaming down his cheeks.

People are made of bones and flesh, how can they really give birth to a heart like gold and jade.

In fact, it wasn't that Ning Huaijin didn't think of many things, but that even Ning Yan himself didn't know.

Not to mention that Ning Huaijin is used to his appearance as an emperor, so why not himself.When dealing with decisions, he often seems decisive and decisive, and his heart is as hard as iron, but whether there is any restlessness and hesitation in it, and how much there is, perhaps even he himself does not know.

It wasn't until Ning Huaijin said these words just now that Ning Yan suddenly thought of a trivial matter for no reason.

It was an early court less than half a year after he ascended the throne, Ning Huaijin happened to be caught in the cold, so Prince Gong's residence asked for a leave of absence and avoided an early court.

However, at that time, Ruan Yin was at its peak in the Spring and Autumn Period, and the Ruan family had not yet been liquidated, and there were a lot of forces in the court, so taking advantage of Ning Huaijin's absence, he wanted to give Ning Yan a look, and said that the royal family's filial piety should be followed. In the Year of the Moon, Empress Dowager Ruan Yin had been praying abroad for half a year, and she should be welcomed back to the palace in terms of etiquette, which is the way of benevolence and filial piety.

At that time, Jiang Xiaohan was recovering from his injuries in Kunlun and was not in the capital. Ning Yan had only been on the throne for a short time, and he hadn't figured out how to deal with this group of courtiers.

So the other party hit the snake with the stick, and relentlessly dragged on and talked about this matter, but the Ruan family is not small, and there are many sympathizers, which really put Ning Yan on top.

Ning Yan was only six years old at that time, but he also knew that he could not agree to this matter, so he could only hold back his face and not let go.He originally thought that this morning would be ruined endlessly by someone with a gun and a stick, but who knew that the person had just finished speaking, and Ning Huaijin stepped in from outside the hall.

That year Ning Huaijin was not very old and hadn't reached the crown yet, but for Ning Yan who was only six years old, Ning Huaijin was already "upright".

Due to the sudden arrival of Prince Gong, Ruan Yin's matter naturally did not continue, and the morning court played two more trivial matters and passed.

Twelve years have passed, but Ning Yan still has a fresh memory of the scene that day.

That day Ning Huaijin was clearly burnt out, but she still came to the court, and did not go back to rest after the next court, but followed Ning Yan to the study with energy.

When he accompanied Ning Yan to review the papers, he was so sleepy that he couldn't open his eyes, so he could only lean on the armrest of the chair with half-closed eyes and drink cups of strong tea.

Ning Yan glanced at him intentionally or unintentionally, endured and endured, but still couldn't hold back, and asked him in a low voice why he came.

"Why did you come?" At that time, Ning Huaijin seemed to be surprised why he asked such a question, without even half a pause, she said in a reasonable tone: "If I don't come, they bully you .”

How could he not care, Ning Yan suddenly thought, Ning Huaijin just cared like him and didn't know it.Otherwise, how could it be such a coincidence that Ning Huaijin would just be by his side every time he "never noticed".

Ning Huaijin only felt that Ning Yan was crying so hard that his entire shoulder was about to be wet from Ning Yan's tears.

He just felt that his heart was about to be broken by Ning Yan's crying, and he wanted to comfort him, but Ning Yan hugged him and refused to let him go, and he refused to show him.

After a long time, Ning Yan seemed to have almost cried out all the grievances and depression of these years, sobbed twice, and gradually stopped.

This time Ning Yan was different from the usual time of begging for favors. He was really wronged like a young man.But instead of thinking that he was childish and weak, Ning Huaijin felt very distressed.

"To be an emperor, you have to give up 'fear'." Ning Yan let go of the small piece of clothing that he had rubbed into shape, straightened up and faced Ning Huaijin, and whispered: "I have always It's very good...Only on you, Uncle Emperor..."

He paused, softened his tone, and changed his name.

"...I've always been afraid." Ning Yan said: "I often think about what it would be like if I really can't get what I want in this life and can only regret for the rest of my life... It's too difficult, I just want to think about it." I'm going to be afraid."

Ning Yan's eyes were red, and the eyelashes were still covered with water mist. He half-cast his eyes and refused to meet Ning Huaijin's eyes, looking pitiful.

"You don't have to be afraid now." Ning Huaijin stretched out her hand, gently wiped away his tears, and said to him with a faint smile, "Xiao Yan, I can't do without you."