Let go of the past

In the early morning of the first day of the new year, Li Ziqing, who was sleeping on the sofa wrapped in a blanket, was woken up by the sound of firecrackers downstairs. The Spring Festival Gala program was replayed, and the stage full of flowers was full of singing and dancing.

He rubbed his sore and numb legs, sat up on the sofa, pressed his palm on a hard object, picked it up, and saw that it was a mobile phone that had rolled into the corner of the sofa.

It shows two New Year's greetings messages from 10086, but nothing else.

This mobile phone is the medium he usually uses to keep in touch with Uncle Li who is far away from all over the world and share his daily life. The second person who knows the number is Ji Bing.Uncle Li will probably call him around noon, and tell him to take care of himself, don't catch a cold and so on.But why Ji Bing didn't make any movement, and the news he sent seemed to disappear, Li Ziqing was a little puzzled for a while.

He stood up from the sofa, beat his stiff legs, went to the window and opened the curtains. The first day of the new year unexpectedly ushered in a sunny and fine weather. Although it was not warm when it shone on people, it still felt warm comfortable.

Maybe I'm busy.

The momentary good mood made Li Ziqing find an excuse to comfort himself, and his whole body was immediately full of energy.

Ordinary people’s New Year’s Day and the days after that, it’s always necessary to visit relatives and friends, move from one table to the next, and hear the New Year’s greetings. It’s like this every year, but I never get tired of it.It is probably because of the more or less warmth between people that the rigid and boring rituals are endowed with a vivid and cordial soul.

Li Ziqing, without the ties of family, naturally didn't have to visit relatives and friends. He sat in the study in the morning and did two sets of math papers. Since he participated in the physics competition, he suddenly played a very cool side plot as if he was playing a game, breaking the world. He has infused him with new goals and hopes. He needs a breakthrough in life. When he is promoted to the second year of high school, he wants to fight in the math competition again.

I just don't know if Ji Bing will participate. If he still has to start preparing for studying abroad, he won't have too much energy to devote to the competition.

Li Ziqing thought of this, although he felt a little regretful and lost, but it did not affect his enthusiasm.

He wanted to be good enough so that standing beside Ji Bing would suit him.

If Ji Bing was a fortress, he hoped that he could become a battle flag when soldiers approached the city.

Uncle Li's phone call was almost two o'clock in the afternoon, full of apologies, but after his reminder, Li Ziqing felt his hungry stomach was warning.

He went to the kitchen to heat up the leftover dishes from last night, brought them to the coffee table in the living room, picked up the remote control to turn on the TV when he sat down, and switched channels absently.

The mobile phone on the sofa still didn't receive a reply from Ji Bing, and he began to hesitate whether to make a direct call, but he was afraid of disturbing the other party.

However, unexpectedly, the torment of waiting lasted from the early morning of the first day of the new year to the night of the second day of the new year. When I called someone, I finally received a long-overdue reply from the other party.

Seven concise words.

——Miss you, don’t read, see you at the beginning of school.

Li Ziqing was lying on the bed with his mobile phone raised above his head, staring at the text message until the screen gradually dimmed. His heart was full of nervousness and excitement, which made him roll twice on the bed, and buried his face in the quilt. yelled.

He's screwed.

He was completely in love with this man.

On the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, the atmosphere of the New Year gradually faded in the streets and alleys of S City. Office workers started their new year's journey. The morning rush hour reappeared the crowds of the past, and Li Ziqing was carrying a backpack and holding it with his head bowed. While reading a book intently, a hand suddenly stretched out from behind and patted his shoulder heavily.

It was followed by a high-pitched greeting: "Li Ziqing, Happy New Year!"

Li Ziqing shivered visibly, turned his head to see the man's face clearly, with a speechless expression on his face: "...can you stop being so surprised."

Xiao Kaicheng laughed twice, but after a year, he was obviously tanned a lot, his hair was cut short, and his whole body was healthy and refreshing, giving him the feeling of a beach in Hawaii.

"It's been a while since I've seen you," he said, "It's been three autumns."

"It's only been less than a month."

"It's too ruthless," Xiao Kaicheng said with a hurt face, "Don't you miss your dear classmates?"

"I don't want to." Li Ziqing replied cruelly.

"Hey," Xiao Kaicheng has long been used to Li Ziqing's speaking style, so he changed the subject without hesitation: "What are you doing during Chinese New Year? Did you go somewhere to play?"

Li Ziqing heard him ask this question, looked around the other party up and down, and asked very cooperatively: "Did you go out to play?"

Xiao Kai was really excited, and began to bald outside like offering a treasure: "I went to Hawaii with my parents. I left the day before New Year's Eve, and I just came back yesterday."

No wonder……

"Oh, that's nice, it's warm over there."

"It's close to the equator, so it's like summer all the year round."

The subway entered the station at this time, and the two walked in one after the other. Xiao Kaicheng continued: "What about you? Just stay in S City?"

"En." Li Ziqing put the book into his backpack, and stood quietly holding onto the handrail of the subway.

Xiao Kaicheng was beside him, sighed suddenly, and said with a sad face: "School starts the day after tomorrow, so fast, my heart is still in Hawaii and I haven't flown back. By the way," he suddenly remembered something, turned to look at Li Zi Qing said: "I ran into Ji Bing yesterday when I was going through customs at the airport."

Li Ziqing was stunned for a moment, and repeated: "Ji Bing?"

"That's right, that's Ji Bing." Xiao Kaicheng thought Li Ziqing didn't remember who it was, and added quite unexpectedly, "Ji Bing from our class."

Li Ziqing clenched the handrail, and asked in a daze, "Why is he at the airport?"

"Of course I went abroad." Xiao Kaicheng took it for granted, "I guess he went out to play."

Li Ziqing lowered his eyes, said softly, and said nothing more.

"But it seems that he is the only one, and he didn't see his family..."

Li Ziqing gradually couldn't listen to what was said later, and repeatedly savored a piece of information in his mind that Ji Bing had left the country.

Although it wasn't a big deal, why didn't Ji Bing convey this information to himself, but got it from someone else by accident.

Is there something you can't tell him?

Or, he actually didn't know Ji Bing at all.

He really doesn't know anything about what Ji Bing doesn't want him to know. This feeling is a bit aggrieved and agitated, but it makes people unable to find a way to vent.

"Li Ziqing, Li Ziqing," Xiao Kaicheng repeatedly called to bring back his wandering mind, Li Ziqing turned his head to look at the other party, and the other party looked at him and asked in a daze, "What's wrong with you, your face is a bit ugly."

"It's okay." Li Ziqing looked up at the current station of the subway, and said to him, "I'll get off at the next stop, how about you?"

"I have a few more stops, so bye, see you at the beginning of school."

"Ah."

The subway slowly pulled into the station, Li Ziqing waved to Xiao Kaicheng, turned around and walked down.

He looked down at the road, and followed the bustling crowd up the stairs until he swiped his card and exited the subway station. Looking at the unfamiliar buildings and environment in front of him, he realized that his destination was not at this station.

He just had a sudden backlog of emotions and wanted to avoid Xiao Kaicheng and find a place to vent.

Li Ziqing stood at the intersection and searched, found a McDonald's on the opposite side of the road, and walked across the road.

A few cars waiting for a red light stopped near the zebra crossing. Li Ziqing walked forward with his head down, not paying attention to a car approaching the farthest edge of the road. The back door suddenly opened, and then a person came down and strode straight towards him. past.

The door of McDonald's was pushed open, and the heater blowing towards us made people a little hot and dry. It was mid-morning, and there were not many people inside. Li Ziqing was at the end of the line, with his hands in his pockets, staring at the order board in front of him.

Another person came in behind him, and the air of his breath brushed against Li Ziqing's neck, and he couldn't help taking a small step forward to distance himself from that person.

After the girl in front finished ordering, it was Li Ziqing's turn. He didn't go out until after eating in the morning, so he wasn't very hungry, so he ordered a strawberry Xindi and added a drink. After paying, he moved aside for the people behind to order.

"Eat ice cream in winter, won't you be afraid of having a stomachache?"

Caught off guard by a familiar voice, Li Ziqing was startled, and when he turned around, he saw Ji Bing standing a step away behind him, with a smile on his lips, and his gentle eyes watching him.

Li Ziqing was so shocked that he didn't know what to say for a while, and after a few seconds of pause, he asked in a daze, "...how is it you?"

Ji Bing raised his eyebrows, but he didn't answer him right away. Instead, he turned around and ordered a hamburger set meal, and then asked to wait for the meal, and answered Li Ziqing's words by the way: "I followed you in, what were you thinking just now?" , I didn’t notice anyone behind me all the way.”

Li Ziqing's eyes wandered for a moment, and he said lightly: "I didn't think about anything." Then he turned his back to him, and ended the topic.

Ji Bing looked at his back quietly with deep and quiet eyes, but he didn't speak any more.

Li Ziqing was holding the plate and was about to leave the counter when he was grabbed by Ji Bing, "Wait for me."

"I'll find a place first." Li Ziqing said flatly, then wrenched his sleeves from his hand, and walked into the distance without looking back.

Ji Bing smiled helplessly, and after getting the meal here, he looked in the direction Li Ziqing had just walked.

Li Ziqing sat at the end of a row of high stools by the window, holding a drink in his hand and looking outside in a daze.

Ji Bing walked over and sat down next to him, and asked him directly, "Why are you angry?"

Li Ziqing turned his face away slightly, and said dryly, "I'm not angry."

"You're lying to a ghost," Ji Bing said, "Unhappiness is written all over your face."

Li Ziqing lowered his head, stirred the ice cream with his spoon, and after a long while, he said sullenly, "Why didn't you tell me when you went abroad?"

Ji Bing's eyes flashed with astonishment and tension for a moment, and after a while, he returned to normal, and asked without changing his face: "How do you know?"

"Anyway, I know." Li Ziqing turned to look at him, with a dark face, and said aggressively: "I asked you first."

"My parents are abroad," Ji Bing said flatly, "They asked me to go there, so I went."

Li Ziqing didn't expect the other party to be so frank. He felt like he had all the torture tools on his side and thought out the lines for extorting a confession, but the other party stopped calling himself, and he couldn't react for a moment.

"...Oh." Li Ziqing's face softened, he lowered his head and took a small bite of ice cream, thinking about his next move.

"Now it's your turn to answer me." Ji Bing said forcefully, "How do you know?"

Li Ziqing inserted the spoon into the ice cream cup, looked up at him, and said with a strong tone, "I want to know from you, will you tell me?"

Ji Bing looked at him fixedly, with a deep complexion, paused, and said, "Do you think I'm deliberately hiding it from you?"

"Isn't it?"

"Yes." Ji Bing said without concealment: "So now I really want to know, where did you hear the news of my going abroad?"

Li Ziqing laughed angrily: "It's too double standard? You can hide it from me, but I can't if I don't tell the truth. Are you God?"

Displeasure finally appeared in Ji Bing's eyes, and his brows were slightly frowned, but he could see that he was suppressing, but he still couldn't utter a word in reply: "What does my going abroad have to do with you?"

Li Ziqing's face turned pale, then he stood up from the high stool and walked outside without saying a word.

Ji Bing sat still, his face extremely ugly, but he only persisted for less than half a minute before he couldn't help getting up and chasing after him.

Li Ziqing was standing on the side of the road waiting for the red light, when he heard the sound of footsteps chasing after him, he started to run as soon as the green light flashed, but he still couldn't fight the speed and strength, Ji Bing grabbed his arm, and his voice was stern and nervous: "Still chasing after the car? No memory?"

Li Ziqing turned his face away and lowered his eyes, remained silent and resisted passively.

"I said something serious just now." Ji Bing pulled him onto the curb, avoiding traffic, and began to explain calmly: "I do have something to hide from you now, but it's only for a while, and now I'm telling you only It will only increase your troubles and is of no use. I don't know where you heard the information, but I can assure you that I will never use deception to hurt you in my life. Don't think about it, okay?"

"I'm not thinking wildly." Li Ziqing said slowly, as if venting his strength suddenly, "To be honest, I've never been so sure about what we are doing now." He raised his head and looked at Ji Bing squarely, his eyes reveal Confused: "I just suddenly felt that the two of us are so childish, like we're playing house, entertaining ourselves, completely blind to the future. Do you think we have a future, Ji Bing?"

Ji Bing held onto his arm firmly, and Li Ziqing noticed passers-by looking suspiciously at them from the corner of his eye, so he took a few steps back, intending to distance himself.

But Ji Bing locked his arms tightly, and the strength of his hands increased instead of weakening, and he said firmly and seriously: "I'm already working hard."

Li Ziqing paused for a while, "What?"

"I'm already working hard to build a future for the two of us." Ji Bing's eyes were deep and focused, as if he didn't care about the strange sights of passers-by: "So you also have to have confidence, we are not playing tricks, but thinking about it Seriously, talk about love."

Li Ziqing was completely stunned, came back to his senses, hurriedly avoided the other party's hot gaze, took a deep breath, and said dully: "...I see."

This time it was Ji Bing's turn to be caught off guard. He thought it would take a while to break through Li Ziqing's psychological defense, but he didn't expect the explosives to be ready, and the other party directly opened the city gate and took the initiative to let people in. welcome.

A hanging heart finally fell to the ground, Ji Bing breathed a sigh of relief, then smiled helplessly, and then began to tease: "I didn't expect you to be so easy to coax, I have prepared a lot of lines and haven't said it yet."

Only then did Li Ziqing pull his arm out of his hand, stared at the ground and said, "I just don't want to continue to lose face on the street."

"..." Ji Bing didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Then what should I do now? Let me continue coaxing you in another place?"

Li Ziqing turned to look at the McDonald's just now, "Go back and sit inside, it's too cold outside."

"Okay." Ji Bing said, still couldn't help rubbing his hair.

The two went back and forth, and the food on the table had already been taken away. Ji Bing turned around and asked Li Ziqing, "Do you want something to eat?"

"Yes," Li Ziqing said bluntly, "same as before."

Ji Bing came back with a plate, handed the ice cream to Li Ziqing, and did not forget to tease: "How do I remember someone said that he doesn't like sweets?"

"Ice cream is ice, not sweet."

Ji Bing laughed softly, "Okay, whatever you say is what you say."

The two were still sitting in their old seats. Li Ziqing was eating ice cream by the spoonful. Ji Bing looked at him sideways. After more than a minute, Li Ziqing finally couldn't hold on anymore, and turned to ask him: " Why are not you talking?"

"I've said everything I need to say," Ji Bing said, "I'll wait and see what happens."

"..." Li Ziqing poked the ice cream in the cup, his eyes gradually became complicated, and asked with a sigh, "Do your parents know you are gay?"

"I don't know yet."

Li Ziqing looked like that, lowered his head, his expression was gloomy: "Then they know, they will definitely—"

"So don't let them know for now," Ji Bing interrupted him, and said unhurriedly: "Li Ziqing, I can tell you my thoughts first, listen carefully, and then tell me what's on your mind .Because we are still unable to be completely independent economically, coming out rashly is a bad idea with benefits that far outweigh losses, and we can’t take this path unless we have to.”

"It is inevitable for me to study abroad. If you stay in China, you will definitely be admitted to the ideal university. When we each finish our studies and graduate, we will have a firm foothold in society and have enough capital to bear any risks brought about by coming out. At that time," Ji Bing paused, looking straight into Li Ziqing's eyes with fiery and affectionate eyes, "we can get married. So Li Ziqing, are you willing to spend the darkness before dawn with me ?"

Li Ziqing stared at him blankly, unable to speak because his mind was dull, because he never expected that Ji Bing had already made enough plans for the future, and it still belonged to the two of them.

His eye sockets couldn't help being a little sore and painful. He blinked and covered his eyes with his hands, feeling a little uncontrollable for a while.

This guy really messed up a bit.

The warm touch covered the back of his hand, Ji Bing took Li Ziqing's hand away from his face, replaced it with his own palm, caressed the other's face, and then wiped away the fine tears from the corners of his eyes with his thumb.

"Why are you so easy to coax?" Ji Bing's voice became hoarse, "If you are like this, I will never dare to tell lies in front of you in my life."

Li Ziqing felt a little embarrassed when he heard that, he took Ji Bing's hand away, turned around and sat upright, staring down at the ice cream that was about to melt in front of him, with inexplicable emotions surging in his heart, he poked a spoonful of ice cream In his mouth, the cold feeling reaches from the tip of his tongue to his brain, sweet and sour, just like his mood at the moment.

"You left me alone again," Ji Bing sighed, "At any rate, please forgive me, I just made so much effort to confess my love."

Li Ziqing bit the spoon and turned to look at him, honestly said: "You've talked so much, I don't know what to say."

Ji Bing glanced over his lips that were red from the ice cream, raised his eyebrows and said, "Then show it with actions."

"What action?" Li Ziqing asked in confusion.

Ji Bing looked around for a while, then leaned closer, looked him in the eyes and said, "I want to kiss you."

Li Ziqing hurriedly retreated, "...No, there are too many people."

"No one." Ji Bing said boldly, "Look for yourself."

Li Ziqing sat back on his body and really turned his head to look around, but as soon as his head turned away, Ji Bing quickly reached out to grab his chin, leaned forward and gnawed on his mouth, and directly pushed his jaw open viciously, sticking his tongue in .

Li Ziqing's eyes widened in an instant, and when he realized that his mouth had already been robbed by the opponent, he hurriedly pushed the opponent away, almost fell off the high stool, tilted his body, and was firmly supported by Ji Bing live.

"Look," Ji Bing's eyes were full of satisfaction, and he acted obediently after being cheap: "No one pays attention at all. Besides, the ice cream is quite sweet."

"..." Li Ziqing stood up from the high stool in embarrassment and ran out for the second time without looking back.

Ji Bing followed out with a smile. Li Ziqing was standing on the side of the road, obediently waiting for the red light.

"Children can be taught." Ji Bing said happily.

Li Ziqing was too angry to speak, and took a small step to the side.

"Hey," Ji Bing really grabbed him again, "There are cars coming and going, pay attention to safety."

Li Ziqing struggled a bit, but he didn't expect that he broke free easily this time. He turned to look at Ji Bing in surprise.

Ji Bing's face flushed slightly, his breathing suddenly became rapid, and his footsteps were a little vain.

"What's wrong?" Li Ziqing hurriedly reached out to support his arms, and asked anxiously, "Ji Bing, what's wrong with you?"

"Fuck..." Ji Bing panted, and said with difficulty: "...it's the ice cream just now, don't panic...it's just an allergy, I have a special constitution, you can grab a taxi and go to the hospital now..."