Xiao Lang Jing

It took 10 minutes from the west of Heping Bridge to Song Qiran's house. Zhao Meng drove the police car to the main entrance of the community in 9 minutes.When he stepped into the door of Song Qiran's house, Zhao Meng was dumbfounded again at the living room.

In my memory, a special-shaped coffee table that should have been placed in front of the floor lamp and armchair is no longer there, it has become a pile of carpet-covered star-like debris, Song Qiran's coffee table is completely broken, Zhao Meng can't figure it out Why did he leave the wreckage where it is until now.

"Tempered glass is like this," Song Qiran followed him into the door, and said as soon as he noticed Zhao Meng's surprised gaze, "This kind of material will collapse as long as a small piece is broken. The name sounds very strong. But if it is damaged, it will be completely damaged. But the debris has no edges and corners, so it’s okay to put it there, it’s very safe.”

Zhao Meng glanced at him, is it time to say this?He still wanted to speak like that, but it seemed that those words were a bit too lively compared to the current atmosphere.He didn't know if he should talk to Song Qiran now, and he wasn't sure whether their relationship was broken or not.After all, as far as the eye can see, all the boxes that Zhao Meng moved into the house a week ago are still piled up in the corner of the living room.It's so embarrassing.Zhao Meng's shoulders slumped, he sighed, and rolled up his sleeves resignedly.

"what are you doing?"

Song Qiran looked puzzled as Zhao Meng picked up an empty corrugated cardboard box from the balcony, took out a large black plastic bag, put it in the cardboard box and spread it out, took the broken half piece of corrugated cardboard as a dustpan, and knelt down Start shoveling the pile of shiny glass sand on the ground.

Hearing him ask that sentence, Zhao Meng shook his head helplessly.

"How can you live like this in such a big house."

He lowered his head to clean the carpet with a concentrated and natural expression. He has been single for a long time, and even remember to take good care of the gaps between the plush. Seeing Zhao Meng's figure in Song Qiran's eyes made him wonder why.

"Are you calmed down?"

For the first time tonight, he showed a dazed and cute expression, and when he asked that, Zhao Meng was about to be laughed out of anger.

"Do you think I look angry? I just have a fierce face, at least I'm still a law-abiding citizen. I'm sure I haven't done anything to blow people's heads when I get angry."

That sentence was too wild and unconstrained, Song Qiran didn't know whether he was trying to be sarcastic or teasing, so he stood there for a while feeling a little embarrassed, and after holding back for a long time, he said: "Leave it alone, I can ask Auntie to clean it up."

I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but when Song Qiran talked to him at that time, he still seemed to please him in a vague way, as if he was afraid that he would trouble him too much and make Zhao Meng feel a lot of dissatisfaction.Zhao Meng sighed, and was about to raise his head to answer, when out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a pair of white porcelain products placed at the far side of the TV cabinet, which were exactly the two lovers cups that he sneaked back from the furniture store that day.

Song Qiran's tea table was ruined, but the cups were still there. Zhao Meng saw them, his brows were softened by the smoke, and he put away his tone of more lessons, tidied up the box of debris, stood up, and walked to Song Qiran's side Patted him on the shoulder.

Song Qiran was half a head shorter than him, so he deliberately squatted down so that the other party could look into his eyes.

"Have you never liked anyone?" he asked.

Song Qiran opened his eyes wide, wanted to refute but his eyes were full of confusion, his brows frowned, like a good boy who accidentally did something wrong and didn't know it, waiting for someone to point it out to him.

Zhao Meng pointed to the cardboard box on the ground.

"Just that thing, I'll clean up for you, even if it's just a favor as a friend, it's okay, you know? When you really like someone, don't talk about that, I will do everything for him willingly. A person wants You have loved before you can clearly tell whether you are loved or not. There is no relationship in this world where one party will always give and compromise. If you think there is, then you have not found the right person. But it is strange to say that sometimes I feel that you are quite You can calculate, and sometimes you think you are stupid, but in fact, you just refuse to tell the truth all the time, don’t you?”

Zhao Meng touched Song Qiran's head affectionately, tossed out his already messy Liu Hai, and covered it on his forehead, instantly looked younger by many years, ignorantly like a teenager, Zhao Meng also seemed to be looking at his younger brother Looking at him, he smiled tolerantly and relievedly. He thought that Song Qiran might really not understand, so he had to speak out.

"Look, you actually don't like me as much as you think."

Song Qiran's eyebrows twitched suddenly, like a cat that jumps suddenly and is afraid of being caught.He took a step back, glanced at Zhao Meng evasively, and subconsciously said: "I never lied to you, everything I said is true."

"Yes, you didn't lie to me." Zhao Meng nodded, "I didn't say you lied to me. You never said you liked me, you just said you wanted to be with me and see me often. I didn't do it, yes I lied to you, sorry."

Song Qiran's eyes widened suddenly. Zhao Mengzhen was indeed apologizing. His eyes were as clear and calm as a lake. Maybe thanks to the sudden change tonight, he finally figured out Song Qiran's temper. I am very sure in my heart, if I want to hear the truth from this person, I must not force him at this time.

Zhao Meng smiled, Song Qiran finally calmed down, and now there is only one problem he still cares about——

"Now you have to tell me, what's the matter with your headache?"

Hearing this, Song Qiran frowned tightly, and after a long time, he called Zhao Meng to sit down, turned around and went to the bedroom, rummaging around for something, and when he came back, he waved it in front of Zhao Meng , I saw a densely written label that Zhao Mengquan didn't know Niaoyu, and it turned out to be a medicine bottle that had been eaten to the point where there were still a few pills left.

"I've been taking this medicine since the beginning, and it's been almost ten years."

Zhao Meng looked at the bottle as if he had seen a ghost.

"What is this?"

"Imported medicine. It is specially symptomatic. I have been suffering from headaches since I came out of the rehabilitation center. I have done brain CT and neurological examinations. The doctor said that I am very healthy and have no problems at all. Finally, it is inferred that it may be a psychological problem. My parents So I asked someone to buy this medicine from abroad."

"Psychological problems?"

"It's a bit like treating depression, controlling the secretion of dopamine, and so on. It's similar to that principle. If you insist on taking this medicine once a day, you won't get headaches, and it won't cause memory loss or lethargy. Basically, it has no side effects."

Song Qiran sighed.Zhao Meng keenly captured something from it.

"Basic?" He grabbed the medicine bottle and looked at it carefully, and began to try to recall the details of being with Song Qiran during this time, but he really remembered something.Zhao Meng turned his surprised eyes to Song Qiran, who also nodded.

"Well, there is only one side effect that is more annoying." He said, "I will lose my libido."

Zhao Meng choked for breath.

"To put it simply, I can't get hard, and I don't want to be hard. I have no sexual desire, no desire, and I don't think there is any problem with not having those things. I can't even watch pornographic movies. After watching, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I feel like vomiting, It’s just about working all day long. After a long time, your mind clearly realizes that there is a problem, but you can’t get up to solve it subjectively. I think this is the most abnormal.”

"and after?"

"Afterwards, I had enough." Song Qiran replied, he could tell what Zhao Meng was thinking at a glance, so he said it all, "Before I met you for the first time, I stopped taking the medicine."

"What will happen if you stop taking the medicine? Is it uncomfortable?" Zhao Meng asked, his heart ached, even though Song Qiran himself didn't seem to think it was a big deal, he glanced at Zhao Meng and pursed his lips.

"I thought I would, too. But the first night I saw you, my headache stopped." Song Qiran said timidly, "I didn't lie to you, that's it. I was also scared. Later I tried with you a few more times, only to find that as long as I'm with you, it won't recur. I can't explain exactly why, but you're fine, really. It's good for me, and it's good to do those things Comfortable, I have never liked being with anyone so much..."

Song Qiran turned away from the beginning as he spoke, his voice became softer and weaker, which was really hard to say, because his liking for Zhao Meng, after all, had nothing to do with Zhao Meng.

And Zhao Meng finally understood why Song Qiran catered to him so abnormally, tried his best to please him, and solved all the problems in front of him for him, and would like to never have enough sense of security, hoping over and over again to never leave. Here he gets a guarantee.

Zhao Meng became Song Qiran's hope when he didn't know it. No matter what that hope is, whether it has a dime relationship with love or not, Song Qiran just wants to catch it.He tried all possible methods and used all available resources, just to spend the rest of his life with Zhao Meng, a useless little policeman.I hope you will always be here. When he said that, he was sincere.

Similarly, all his anomalies, annoyance, and despair tonight are all true.

Zhao Meng opened his mouth halfway, he recalled everything and didn't know what to say at all.

And Song Qiran sat opposite him, wringing his fingers, like a person who had confessed all his confessions and was waiting for sentencing.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "but I'm not sick, really. It's just a matter of stress, I'm not crazy."

"I didn't..." Zhao Meng said with difficulty, his throat was dry, and it was very difficult to find his voice.Seeing Song Qiran's slumped and lost look, he was filled with an unknown, huge and empty feeling of powerlessness.But what can I do for him?

A few meters away in the silence, the doorbell rang.The sudden movement interrupted Zhao Meng's sluggishness, and also broke the deadlock in front of him. He watched Song Qiran stand up to open the door, and then greeted a person Zhao Meng had never expected from outside the entrance.

Wei Xiaolong.