Xiao Lang Jing

Early the next morning, everyone in the dormitory was woken up by a blaring music.It was only then that Song Qiran found out that the rehabilitation center organized a morning run every morning, not only to run, but also to shout slogans, and there were special supervisors standing outside the runway to supervise. Additional penalties.

When everyone was running, the music that they woke up was playing continuously on the radio speakers. It was a piece of electronic music that was repeated endlessly.

But that was not what surprised Song Qiran who had just arrived.What surprised him even more was that he found that many people actually knew his roommate Liu Nengbin.Not only did they know each other, but they were even quite respectful. When they went downstairs, two boys who were older than them bowed down and saluted them, calling Liu Nengbin "Brother Bin".

Song Qiran saw that before the morning run, Liu Nengbin took a yellow armband from one of the supervisors and put it on.He wore that armband, and no matter where he ran in the team, the people around him would always give him a place on the inner track. Moreover, he didn't know if it was Song Qiran's illusion, but he always felt that whenever Liu Nengbin passed by the team, The movement of shouting slogans will be louder than before.

He had just been physically punished by the supervisor yesterday, and his calf muscles were stiff as if they had been filled with lead, so he could only stumble and run at the end of the line.On his left, a boy with a pale face was holding his belly. He always ran for a few steps, stopped again, and looked around in a cold sweat.Just when Song Qiran began to wonder what was wrong with him, the boy took advantage of the gap when the nearest supervisor looked down at his watch, and quickly deviated from the runway and took a shortcut to the team diagonally ahead. Song Qiran saw clearly that he borrowed The chaotic crowd dodged and hid in the toilet next to the playground.He subconsciously turned his head to look at the supervisor, fearing that the boy's actions would be caught on the spot, and in the end he would receive more punishment like himself, but the supervisor still had his usual expression on his face.He looked around again, and found that most of the people were just lowering their heads and moving their legs vigorously, not noticing what happened at that moment at all.But there was still a person whose eyes pierced directly from the opposite side of the playground.Song Qiran saw it, it was Liu Nengbin who suddenly stood still and was staring at him.

After the morning run, everyone knew that a new boy was dragged out of the toilet by the supervisor.It is said that he likes to play games and is unwilling to study, so he was thrown here by his parents. When the parents left, they still put down their words and said that they don’t need to take special care of him. until he is obedient.

It is a serious violation to be lazy when running in the morning, and I was caught again, and I don't know where I will be sent to be punished.Song Qiran didn't see him again all morning. He found that people around him always showed panic when talking about the boy who disappeared, and occasionally mentioned "send him to special treatment", as if everyone was in danger.

The regular arrangement in the morning is to go to the morning class. The morning class is for everyone to sit in their own classrooms and study their homework. They have a few textbooks, which are basically Chinese studies. Those who study are required to recite them proficiently, and the supervisor will occasionally enter the classroom. Come here to spot check, and after studying, you have to learn the reading notes and experience. The reading notes are handed in once a week. If the experience is not deep enough, it seems that you will be punished.When everyone is in the morning class, the doctors in the rehabilitation center will call their numbers through the radio one by one, and invite them into the treatment room one by one in order to talk.It was almost eleven o'clock in the morning when Song Qiran was called.

The doctor he was talking to sat across the table, absently flipping through his files.

When Song Qiran came in, the information was all fake, the doctor looked it up and found nothing special, so he threw it aside indifferently.

"Do you know what patients are admitted to the rehabilitation center?"

Song Qiran was stunned by the doctor's question.He only knew that the public hospital in Qinghe did not have a special department to treat cases like him. The state allocated funds to set up a special diagnosis and treatment center cooperation project, and his parents asked his permission to send him in.

"Some people's brains are not normal, and they have no choice. The country has set up mental hospitals, and when they are sent to them, they become mental patients. But some people's illnesses are not at the level of mental illness. Mental hospitals do not admit them. Ordinary hospitals rely on If they can’t be corrected after taking medicine and injections, they are sent to us. The patients we accept here have this characteristic, such as those who are addicted to games, run away from home, don’t listen to their family members, and don’t learn well. These are all behaviors. Physical problems, not mental problems, can be corrected artificially. The same is true for homosexuality. A person has a choice whether he likes a man or a woman. Since he has a choice, why not choose the right one? I have seen your previous diagnosis and treatment For the record, you said that you like a man, but your mood is not stable yet? Do you know why it is unstable? It is because a man likes another man, which does not conform to biological rules, and this behavior affects your brain. "

"No." Song Qiran retorted, "My problem has nothing to do with my liking for him. I just want to cure my illness. My family didn't send me in for-"

"Your parents—!" The doctor straightened his glasses and interrupted his unfinished sentence. "They made it very clear when they sent you in. They hope you will be healthy and happy, and return to the way you were before. They especially emphasized Mental health, do you know what is mental health?"

He looked at Song Qiran and nodded his forehead.

"According to the "Classification and Diagnostic Criteria of Mental Disorders in China", until 2001, homosexuality was still a mental illness clearly stipulated in it. It has only been a few years? The industry standards that have been devolved to various provinces and cities are not uniform at all. Like the same sex. It is wrong to say that since we have accepted you, we will reform you. You had better know it in your heart, and only by cooperating with us can you return to a normal life as soon as possible."

Song Qiran frowned.

"If I don't want to change it."

As if seeing the looseness in the boy's expression, and as if he was used to such a scene, the doctor just shrugged his shoulders.

"We don't need you to be willing. We will help you. The current electric shock therapy can help you erase your desire for the same sex. Correspondingly, the associated negative psychological effects will also disappear. Don't worry, the electric shock for gender barriers is It's fully compliant, our equipment is state-of-the-art, it's painless, or just a little sore, and you don't leave any impressions afterwards."

What is erasing same-sex desires.Song Qiran stood up in horror.what does that mean?His feelings for Zhao Meng are intertwined. Those confusions, desires, annoyances, shames, and longings have all been derailed and become alive, flowing into the blood, embedded in life, how will they erase it.

"I don't agree, I'm leaving the hospital." He heard his trembling voice.

"That's going to be difficult."

The doctor smiled nonchalantly.He took out a contract from the file bag with the word "Song Xi" written on it, which was the hospital admission consent signed by Song Qiran's parents.

"Our accreditation has been approved by the local government. The current standard of the rehabilitation center has been confirmed by your parents. As long as you still claim that you like men, we have the right to diagnose that you have not met the standard of mental health, that is The guardian does not have the right to take you out of the hospital by force."

Song Qiran was stunned.

He's stuck here, like he's stuck in a cell.Unable to get in touch with the outside world, and no one can help him, Song Qiran felt dizzy for a while, he stepped over the sofa, trying to escape from the door, and then, he only felt that his eyes went dark, and when he woke up, he was lying in his dormitory On the bed, Liu Nengbin sat opposite, eating a bag of chicken feet, staring at him expressionlessly.

"You're good enough," his roommate said first, "They said you smashed the teapot when you were talking with the director in the treatment room, and you wanted to use a piece of broken porcelain as a murder weapon, Song Xi, you make a movie Woolen cloth?"

Does he have it?Song Qiran blinked, and his eyes moved to the bandaged hands.There was still a stabbing pain in the palm of his hand, it should have been scratched, he had no impression at all.

"I heard that you were given a sedative, are you stupid?" Liu Nengbin asked again.

"No." Song Qiran replied covering his sore eyes.He tried to sit up, but his body was still limp.

"It's the third time I've been here, and I've been dragged to the treatment room a lot every day, and you're the only one who tried to threaten the director with tiles and run away. Tell me honestly, is there anything else besides being gay? Fuck, I don't want to live with a schizophrenic or bipolar."

Song Qiran glanced at him.

"I don't have those problems," he replied, "I just can't be stimulated."

"What kind of stimulation?" Liu Nengbin straightened up, "I don't think the things you use are cheap. Your family's conditions are pretty good. How did you get this problem of not being stimulated? It's hereditary? You can't get along with it." Is it related to the policeman you mentioned?"

He suddenly asked a lot of questions, but Song Qiran didn't answer a single word.He lay on his back, turned his face to stare at Liu Nengbin's seemingly enthusiastic face, and asked:

"You flipped through my things. You told me about the album, didn't you?"

Liu Nengbin originally wanted to get some more words from him, but when he heard Song Qiran ask, he curled his lips, knowing that he would no longer pretend, and spread his hands, which was regarded as tacit consent.

"And the boy who violated the rules during the morning jog," Song Qiran asked again, "It's also you, right? I know the supervisor didn't pay attention when he hid in the toilet, but you saw it."

Liu Nengbin smiled contemptuously, and pulled the yellow armband on his arm.

"Do you know what this is?"

"What is it?" Song Qiran's voice was very cold.

"It's an armband only for the squad leader who assists in management and supervision." Liu Nengbin flicked it, "There can be one on every floor, appointed by the supervisor himself, and I have a scoring book, which can be used to score points for everyone here. Those who deduct points will be fined if I write it down, so they are afraid of me, understand?"

"What good will it do you if you go around reporting others behind your back?" Song Qiran asked.

"Benefits?" Liu Nengbin seemed to hear a joke.

He didn't hide it anymore, and dragged out a big box from under the bed. Now that Song Qiran saw it clearly, he also knew why Liu Nengbin was able to eat those forbidden snacks in the dormitory.

There were everything in that box, including snacks, drinks, instant noodles, comic books, and even a few packs of cigarettes and lighters.

"This is the third time I've come in," Liu Nengbin said suddenly, "Do you know how I lived the first time? I wanted to go home so much in the first week, so I secretly wrote to my family with the pen and paper used to write reading notes. I wrote the letter and pressed it under the pillow. As a result, five people reported me on the first floor in one night. Do you know what it feels like to be taken into the treatment room for electric shocks? They will stick a magnetic patch on your temple and give your mouth Lise gauze, when you shocked you, you kept drooling, couldn't spit it out, couldn't swallow it, and just barked like a dog. Then I knew, here, reporting other people's violations can get bonus points Yes, the reward points you get can be exchanged for various good things, and can also be used to escape punishment. The more you report others, the supervisor will promote you. When you become the monitor, they will be afraid of you. My family has no money , I can’t beat others, if I don’t do this, I will be the one who will be beaten to death sooner or later.”

Song Qiran didn't speak.But he got it.

"Why don't you talk? You look down on me?" Liu Nengbin asked him.

Actually not, Song Qiran thought.The effect of the sedative was fading, which made him very uncomfortable, Song Qiran subconsciously frowned.When Liu Nengbin saw it, he thought Song Qiran didn't bother to talk to him, and his expression became ugly.

"I know what you think," he said, "but I don't like you either. I hated you the first time I saw you."

Song Qiran opened his eyes.This is unexpected.

"Why? Did I do something to annoy you?"

Liu Nengbin rolled his eyes.

"I don't like your face." He said impatiently, "As long as you look like a fucking girl, it's an eyesore to me."

Song Qiran didn't understand.

"Do you like ugly people?"

"Your mother likes ugly ones!" Liu Nengbin cursed.When he met Song Qiran, he felt uncomfortable all the time. Song Qiran's conditions were too good, he was lucky and didn't know it.Unlike him, his parents named him Neng Bin, capable of both literature and martial arts. They seemed to have high hopes for him, but they didn't train him hard. Good-looking face, not even tall like boys of the same age.Originally, girls didn't like him very much, and they didn't want to look at him more, let alone boys.

But he just doesn't live up to expectations, he only likes boys.

"Both are homosexuals, and both are perverts. Do you know how badly you will be scolded for falling in love with a man? You can put any dirty words on your head. But the treatment for good-looking people is different. Even if they want to scold, they will Swear softly. Whether you are gay or straight, you will like good-looking people. Especially men, men are the most unprincipled animals, even if it is written in their genes that they are straight, they will not meet you if they are so good-looking. Want to try it. Do you believe it?"

"I don't believe it. I don't care. No matter what others think of me, I will only like the person I like." Song Qiran replied, "And liking the same sex is not a pervert. If someone scolds you, it only means that he is not good enough and not worthy of you like."

Liu Nengbin seemed to be stung by those words, he turned his head suddenly, stared at Song Qiran bitterly for a long time, then turned his head back stubbornly.

"It's up to you not to believe it, idiot." He told Song Qiran,

"It's not a good thing to look too good here, and one day you'll know."

As soon as he finished speaking, there were two knocks on the door of the dormitory.

Song Qiran still hadn't figured out what Liu Nengbin's words meant.He was about to get up from the bed by himself, but Liu Nengbin, who bounced off the bed with a huff, pinned his chest and forced him into the quilt.

"What are you doing—" Before Song Qiran could speak, Liu Nengbin covered his mouth.

"Liu Nengbin, I know you are inside, open the door!" The person outside the door knocked a few more times and shouted loudly.

Hearing that voice, Liu Nengbin's expression froze.He quickly swept the unfinished bag of chicken feet under the bed, patted the smell away from his body, and opened the door with a straight face.A tall man stood outside the door. From Song Qiran's perspective, he looked much stronger than the thin and small Liu Nengbin, but he was the same as Liu Nengbin in one thing.

He also wears a yellow armband on his left arm.

The author has something to say

Brother Bin is arrogant

I hope that a young man like Brother Bin, who is not good-looking, can also be favored by fate (wipe away tears)

He's not a good guy, but he's not that bad either