Lillian's Melaleuca routine

They sat amidst the din, but the scene was quiet.The explosion music in the ears still kept going, but the space was isolated in this area, and everything was far away from them.

Ling stared at her steadily, she thought that Gogol should be able to understand what she wanted to tell him.

Even if he insisted on pretending not to understand, he would definitely not refute her.

Aya didn't want to try to convince him, everything she did so far had one and only one purpose - she didn't want to arouse his resistance, so that she could silently erode him, melting a cold-blooded heart like dripping water piercing a stone Yes, hard heart.

Gogol just sat there silently, like a quiet sculpture.Suddenly, he stretched out his hand and grabbed the bottle of dark beer in Aya's hand, which belonged to him not long ago, and now, when he picked it up, the bottle of dark beer returned to his grasp.

Unfortunately, there is only a quarter of the bottle left.

Gogol raised his head and drank it all in one gulp.Due to the haste, the wine even slipped from his mouth, leaving shallow traces that stretched all the way to his chin, looking extremely sexy.

He wiped his mouth recklessly, and then raised his wine glass. His expression was not dead silent or gloomy. In his eyes, under the golden light, the fine light and shadow reflected his hair. Everything about him was like wheat. Golden in color, he was shining brightly, looking at Aya energetically, his eyes were gentle and charming, confident and flamboyant.

He stood up suddenly and kissed Aya's forehead lightly.

Aya didn't feel any offense in it, so she accepted the polite kiss.

He leaned close to her ear, thanked her sincerely, and then returned to his seat. He asked the waiter for three more glasses of vodka. This time, the vodka was all for himself, and Aya By the way, I ordered a drink for myself. Although she is now sober, she is still intoxicated by the dizzy and involuntary feeling just now.

They drank freely and joined the carnival.

Nikolai Gogol seemed to have liberated himself suddenly. If he had shown a complete distaste for alcohol just now, it was as if he had lifted some kind of restriction now.

At this time, no one brought up the topic just now. At this time, they had a new topic, wine competition.Glasses of wine kept being emptied and piled up on tables, and the scene looked lively.

People kept coming to strike up a conversation with them, and Aya tried to chat with them, but because she was too drunk, she couldn't remember what she said.

The only thing she remembers is that together with Gogol, these few people who struck up a conversation ran away in anger.

Aya still had time to think about it, hoping that she would never meet this group of people again. Forgive her, she still felt ashamed, but her empty mind could no longer remember what she had done.

She hadn't been so drunk for a long time, and Nikolai Gogol should be the same.

Ling has never met a Russian who can't drink better than him. As he said before, he probably hasn't drunk much, but since he started this precedent, he has been desperately trying to get himself drunk.Gogol was the same as the other one, lying limply on the table, surrounded by empty cups, not so many, Aya couldn't tell whether he was drunk or not from her crashed brain.

In the beginning, Ling could handle it well, but she soon became drowsy from drinking, and her brain seemed to be on fire. She followed Gogol to the ground next to her, and there was still time to dance a short tango—although This was not in tune with the music at the time. In Aya's impression, Nikolai Gogol was also shaking his head. Neither of the two of them noticed that their current situation was wrong. He just stood with Aya in a daze. , They finished the dance crookedly.

This dance was not very good, Aya even stepped on his feet a few times, but fortunately no one cared about it, Gogol continued as if he didn't feel it.

After the dance, they returned to their seats, and Aya lay crookedly on the table again. She now felt that she just wanted to rest and sleep until she was old.

But a drunken Nikolai Gogol looks exuberant, as if he has boundless energy.He was very excited and wanted to drag Aya to dance.

He was an annoying little bee, buzzing and hovering around Aya's ears.Aya wanted to stretch out her hand to slap him away, but he dodged lightly, and then flew back again, continuing to spin around Aya.

"Lillian? Lillian?"

Look, this yelling is so annoying.

At least in the sleepy Aya's eyes, she almost wanted to hit him.

She reached out again and unexpectedly grabbed his braid.

Aya tugged curiously, and simply put it in her hand, then pressed her head down to protect it tightly.

"Lillian! Lillian!"

Unexpectedly, Gogol's voice became even louder.

She simply covered her whole head, and she refused to be disturbed by anyone.

So Gogol leaned closer to her ear, and now his voice was even louder, like a loudspeaker with shocking sound effects in Aya's befuddled brain.

"Nikolai!" Aya yelled, and she opened her misty eyes, "I'm going to sleep! Don't disturb me!"

After speaking, she closed her eyes.

She shook off that annoying braid by the way.

Gogol did not come to harass her this time.He just stood beside Aya and stared at her for a long time.He didn't sit down, and he didn't go crazy anymore.

Except for a little red on his cheeks, he looked no different from his usual state.

Gogol stood there the whole time, and he heard Aya's breathing getting slower and slower, and finally became almost inaudible.

He stared at her closely, lifted her bangs, and saw her flushed cheeks, trembling eyelashes, and tightly closed eyes.This is obviously a face that is indistinguishable from others. For some reason, in his heart, she is like a beam of colorful light through a colored window. As long as she is here, he is like drunk, unable to restrain himself. attracted to her.

He did nothing.

Now Gogol no longer resists approaching Aya.

As she said, emotion and freedom are two propositions.

At that time, a voice in his head shouted and reprimanded him: "Don't let irrelevant emotions drag you down in your search for freedom, it is the red shackles that burn your soul."

Another voice also reprimanded him: "You have to learn a lesson, nothing is more important than freedom. Remember, everything else can be discarded."

He was haunted by the cries of those voices.I keep blaming myself every day.Now, he can throw them all away in one go.

But once one problem has been solved, the next one follows.

Gogol began to worry, because so far, he still has many facts about deceiving Aya that he has not revealed to her.

It was a sweet obsession for him.

Aya slept for a long time, she had a long dream, and then she was suddenly awakened by herself, when she woke up, she had already forgotten what dream she had.

She still remembered that she was in the bar, she seemed to have drunk some wine and became unconscious.However, Gogol should still be here.

So she asked vaguely in a daze: "What time is it, Nikolai?"

While talking, Aya raised her head, did a stretching exercise, and moved her stiff body. She felt a splitting headache and sore body, which should be the sequelae of excessive drinking.

She was too hot, the heater in the bar was too hot, and it was so hot when she just woke up.

In addition, the arm is also sore and limp.She had been lying on the table for so long that half of her hand under her head was numb.

Nikolai Gogol was not asleep. He was sitting obediently across from her, reading a magazine he didn't know where he came from. Noticing Aya's movements, he turned around and looked at the time, and replied Aya's question.

"It's three o'clock in the morning."

Although it was very late, the surrounding area was still as lively as ever, the resident band was gone, and it was probably off work.Instead, a group of unprofessional singers, in the sound effect amplified by the microphone, sounded like magic sounds.Aya admired herself a little for sleeping for so long in such a noisy environment. In addition, there were also endless snoring sounds. It seemed that it was indeed getting late.

Among the people around, some were paralyzed, some drunkenly were still drunkenly mad, some cried, some muttered to themselves, lost their souls, and some lay on the ground, like a corpse, except for a little heaving of the chest.

Aya tried to move around, and apart from headaches and some other sequelae, she was almost awake.

In front of her, Gogol seems to have not slept all night, but he is still in good spirits.In fact, since he drank, he has been in a state of high spirits.

Noticing Aya's scrutiny, he gave her his usual bright smile.

Aya began to recall the things before she was drunk, from her conversation with Gogol to the events after she met Sasha and Yuri Prisetti, and she had no recollection of the events after that.Sasha is a humorous person. Even if Aya doesn't like her very much, she has to admit that this person still has some advantages.This is why they can chat for a full hour.However, she still felt a kind of surprise when she recalled Sasha's exit.

Although she has seen many cases of being admitted to the hospital because of it, it is rare to see something as sudden as Sasha.

So she looked at Gogol tentatively and asked, "Nikolai, do you still remember Sasha and Yuri? Do you know which hospital they went to? I was thinking, should we go and see them? His condition looks a little serious."

Aya thought of the sound of the ambulance at that time, and still had lingering fears.

She asked this question more because she wanted to test Gogol.

"Are they? It's just acute gastritis caused by drinking. Right now, Sasha should be in the hospital with Yuri. They have had an examination and it's not a big problem. They should be discharged from the hospital in a while." Gogol put it down. The magazine in his hand, he replied flatly.

"Is that so?" Ling still felt a little abnormal, because at that time, in her impression, Sasha hadn't had a few sips of wine at all, and his spirit seemed very normal, his face was not red, and he looked She didn't look drunk at all.

Could it be that he is allergic to alcohol?

But since Gogol said so, she still chose to believe him. Anyway, after that, she can send Yuri a message to verify.

So she skipped the topic without hesitation: "I understand, Nikolai, since Yuri is still with him, then I can rest assured. I will still go to greet Sasha later, he It's really bad luck. Acute gastritis? I have to see what it is and whether it is serious."

She saw the unhappy expression on Gogol's face, he looked a little sullen.He didn't seem happy that Aya cared so much about Sasha.

He said bluntly and unhappily: "Lilian, you'd better not go to Sasha. He has nothing to do with it. It's so late now, he should be asleep too, and he doesn't look like a good person."

"How do you know that he has nothing to do with it?" Ling asked strangely, she deliberately played against him because she felt that Gogol was a bit weird at this time.

"I just went to visit Sasha, he is our friend, isn't he? Nikolai, you are right, it is indeed a bit late today, but if we go tomorrow, there should be enough time." She suddenly said thoughtfully He patted his head, "Ah! That's right, it's terrible! I have to send him a message first and ask about the hospital he is in, um... Sasha should be asleep, I'll send Yuri a text message first!"

As she spoke, she took out her mobile phone in a serious manner, ready to send a message.

Nikolai Gogol just looked at Aya with sad eyes.

He looked terribly frustrated with her behavior at the moment.

The movements of Ling's hands slowed down unknowingly. She only turned on the phone, but she didn't have time to send a message, let alone open the text message interface.

"Nikolai, I was just joking with you." Aya finally closed the phone and put it in her pocket.

But he seemed to mean it.

"However, I hope you can answer a question for me, Nikolai, is Sasha really okay?"

"..." He showed an embarrassed expression.

"Lillian, I have to apologize to you." In the end, Gogol just lowered his head and said with a look of embarrassment, "I lied to you, I'm sorry, I didn't do what I said."

"Can you tell me what it is?" Aya asked, a little confused by what he was saying.

So, did Sasha have a serious reaction?

His words were too vague.

Gogol just stretched out his hand to rub his messy short white hair, and pulled the braid behind his shoulders to his chest. After pulling it for a long time, he hesitated and said, "I gave Sasha a drink."

"Ah?" Aya was a little surprised, she remembered that Sasha didn't drink alcohol.

She asked the question out loud.

Immediately, she thought of the answer.Suddenly, she was a little dumbfounded.

"Uh... Nikolai, you mean, you poured alcohol into Sasha's stomach?"

He nodded obediently, with a sincere and honest look.If Aya didn't know what he did.

The drinking that Gogol mentioned was not drinking in the usual sense. In their conversation just now, Ling basically didn't notice that Sasha had drunk alcohol.Therefore, Gogol's words, if understood literally, he used his ability to stuff the wine directly into Sasha's stomach.

Ling raised her forehead, now she finally knew why Sasha was suddenly taken away by the ambulance.According to his condition at the time, there should be only a lot of wine in his stomach.

Now she doesn't know whether to admire Gogol's ability to manipulate powers, or complain about his inexplicable jealousy.

Poor Sasha, Aya mourned for him for a moment in her heart with what little sympathy she had left.

However, under the current circumstances, Ling felt that it was necessary to send Yuri a message to ask about Sasha's situation. She didn't think Gogol would be so kind to ask about Sasha's situation. It felt like she had to be called to the police station again, which she didn't want to see.

"If you want to visit Sasha, let me go with you, Lillian." Realizing that Aya hadn't answered for a long time, Gogol said hastily again.This time, he relaxed the conditions again.

"I don't have that much time to visit Sasha." Ling felt that Gogol seemed to have misunderstood her meaning.

"Don't you like Yuri Prisetti?" he asked.

"Why should I like Yuri Prisetti?" Aya's eyes widened. She looked at Gogol with horrified eyes, and seeing that he didn't avoid his gaze, she smiled instead of anger, but in the end, Aya just sighed and said, "Nikolai, listen up. I don't like Yuri Prisetti, I have no interest in him at all. I don't like Sasha either, and it's not because of your How can I be worried about someone who is not related? However, based on what you just said, it really upsets me that you made me want to visit Sasha, and he is actually an interesting person. Dear Nikolai, how much have you lied to me? You just told me that you can't lie to me."

"I don't know how to answer." He finally said this sentence with a downcast, "Lying has been engraved into my instinct, no, this is an accident for me..."

He organized his language for another half day, and finally stopped trying to justify himself.

"I'm sorry, Lilian, I don't expect your forgiveness, I just hope that your eyes can stay on me for a while... I'm sorry, if I know that you don't have any thoughts about Yuri Prisetti, I will Wouldn't do that."

"Are you leaving me? If this is your choice, I will accept it all." He clutched the heart made of glass heartbrokenly, and Aya felt that if his heart was exposed, then it would It had already fallen to the ground, all in pieces.

"Dear Lilian, without you, I will lose my peace. Only by your side can Nikolai Gogol find himself. His soul has been deeply attracted by you, how could you bear to cut it with a blade What about a broken heart riddled with holes?"

He started babbling again, like a sad lady, talking to himself endlessly, but in fact all of them were cruel things for Ling.

"My melancholy soul is full of storms and thunder, and it lives in the fetters of words. I am a stream of icy black water, foaming with white, rushing on the frozen banks." With a moved expression, he also began to read poetry.

Ling had never heard this poem before, and she thought it was quite fresh.So she didn't interrupt Gogol, she kind of wanted to finish his poem.

"And you, don't approach me with your pitiful and tender feelings... The soul and the unstoppable things together, imagine the fusion of fire and ice..."

Aya turned her head away, turned her back, and didn't look at him, she couldn't help laughing.

God!What a talent Nikolai Gogol is!

Seeing that Ling was unmoved, Gogol changed another poem, but the sad emotion in the poem was endless.

"Hope, she could have whispered in whispers and applied ointment to the pain-crazed to relieve pain, but she spread her wings and flew to heaven, never returning, even "sorrow" regretted it...②"

"Stop, stop, stop! Nikolai!"

Seeing that Gogol still had the urge to continue, Ling chuckled and interrupted him unexpectedly.

If she was a little resentful at first, she has forgiven most of him now.

Originally, they didn’t know each other long enough. In fact, Aya was very surprised by her and Gogol’s rapid progress, but judging from the fact that she stayed in Russia not long ago, this was in her favor. .

However, Nikolai, who is long-winded and carefully apologetic, is really cute.

Aya smiled brightly, and under the harsh light, with that radiant face, she looked incomparable.

She stood up, waved to Gogol with a smile, and knocked on his black top hat, as if reaching out to knock on the door.

"Dong dong dong." She also thoughtfully added the sound effects, "Excuse me, is Nikolai Gogol at home? I want to find him."

The current scene is ridiculously funny, Ling is knocking on the door of Gogol's house, and this door is the top hat on his head.

"Hello, lady, I think Nikolai Gogol is not at home now. Not long ago, Mr. Nikolai went on a business trip. What is your name? If you don't mind, I can Message to him for you," he said sullenly through the hat.

"My name is Lilian, and I'm a good friend of Nikolai Gogol. I want to find him, what a pity! Isn't he at home?" Ling propped her chin, trying to find out from Gogol's face that was mostly covered by the hat. His current expression can be seen in the shadow's face.

Unfortunately, she failed.

One was because the light was backlit in his direction, and the other was because he was like a hedgehog. After sensing Aya's gaze, Gogol lowered the brim of his hat again, and even lowered his head quite a bit.

"Oh." Ling sighed, "If you see Mr. Nikolai Gogol, please remember to pass a message to him for me."

She stretched out her hand, and gently lifted the brim of his hat, his short white hair was so eye-catching in the dim light, his eyelids were still drooping, so Aya couldn't see all his thoughts clearly.

"Of course, Miss Lillian, is there anything you want to convey to him?" he said.

"It would be great if Nikolai was here." Aya said regretfully, "I think it would be better to tell him personally."

"He's here," Gogol said.

"Liar!" Although Ling said reproachful words, there was nothing in her tone, "Didn't he go on a business trip?"

"In this world, there are two Nikolai Gogol, one Nikolai Gogol is a lie, as for the other Nikolai Gogol..." Gogol paused, deliberately selling Closed.

Under Aya's expectant eyes, he replied.

"Another Nikolai Gogol is of course real."

He coughed seriously, straightened his shirt, then sat up straight and said solemnly, "The Nikolai Gogol who is in front of you now belongs to the real him. Now, what do you want to say? ? My dear lady, he is here to greet you."

"I had something to say to him." Ling looked at Gogol, and they looked at each other, "But just now, I was interrupted by this, uh... unknown gentleman, and I forgot to tell him What did you say?"

"However, I thought of something new to say to him." She said joyfully amidst his frustrated expression, "I think that Nikolai Gogol who is a lie belongs to the outside, and belongs to the real one. Nikolai Gogol is the inner him. No matter which one he is, I feel deeply attracted! It would be great if they could be combined into one, because I want to monopolize the best, best and best in the world The cutest Nikolai Gogol! It's a pity that if there are two of him, he can't just be nice to me..."

"Yes." Gogol said.

He interrupted Aya's words.

She had never seen such a tender moment in Gogol.There seemed to be tiny halos spinning in his eyes, making her unable to move her eyes away for a long time.He seemed to be conversing with her attentively, he raised his face, although he was not smiling, Aya felt that he was speaking with joy.

"Nikolai Gogol is an unwanted coward, and he is also a freak. He despises his own soul, because he is stationed in the mud, timid, unwilling to touch any speck of dust. He is waiting for a long time He hoped that one day he could break through the shackles and leave this land that he never wanted to touch again. However, until he grew taller and became a towering tree, he could not get rid of this land."

Ling didn't know how Gogol said these words in a happy tone, she couldn't help reaching out and holding his hand.

"Finally one day, he finally waited for a beautiful young lady to pass by. She had long black hair and a pair of eyes darker than the night, but she was brighter than the sun in the daytime. It was her Spotting him on the side of the road, she stared at him for a long time, and finally, she plucked one of his branches and took it with her."

"Since then, Nikolai Gogol still yearns for freedom. But he no longer regards freedom as a shackle. He is trapped, but he has seen everything in the world through her eyes."

"Lilian." Gogol clasped his hands together and held Ling's hand tightly.

Aya sensed that he seemed to be about to say something important.

But she also understands that she can't let Gogol say anything anymore.

Otherwise, she wouldn't know how to end it.

"Before that, Nikolai, you haven't told me why you lied to me." So she ruthlessly interrupted what he was about to say.

Gogol threw his head back, slumped on the chair in frustration and became a ball.

"Based on your lies, I won't believe anything you said anymore." Aya continued to make up for him, and then asked curiously, "But, is what you said just now true? Nikolai .”

"It's fake." He said self-destructively.

"Okay." Aya nodded, actually believing it.

"What if I say it's true?" he asked.

"That's fake." Aya replied.

In any case, Ling would not treat what Gogol said as the truth.Although she knew it might hurt Gogol.

Ling thought about it again, and felt that it was a bit unreasonable to say so, so she said tactfully: "Nikolai, I think, before you tell me these things, you still have some things to deal with, you have to tell me truth."

"Let me think about it." Gogol thought for a while, and then began to count the lies he had told before. Although he didn't want to admit it, it was indeed a bit too much.

The more he thought about it, the more guilty he felt.Because there are indeed some things that he can't tell her yet.

However, since she didn't ask, he has no obligation to tell her, right?

"Please, Nikolai." Aya gestured to him.

Gogol thought about it for a long time, but he couldn't figure out why.

Except for the brooch and Sasha just now, he shouldn't have any big lies, right?

"Lilian." He called her name and said coquettishly.

Aya ignored him.

He lowered his head in frustration, and said, "I have kept some things from you, but I have forgotten. Lilian, as long as you ask me, I will tell you all the answers. I promise you!"

"really?"

"Of course!" He held his head high and said with confidence.

"Then I'll ask you the first question first." Aya showed a teasing expression, which gave Gogol an ominous premonition.

"The topic of freedom we talked about just now, Nikolai, you have already told me what your freedom is. However, I haven't told you what my freedom is. But!" Ling paused and said, "Now I I can tell you. I think that people can never be free, because their desires are endless. When a seed struggles out of the soil and reaches the ground, it is not free, because at this time, it begins to yearn for the sky again. And when it reaches the clouds, it is still not satisfied, and it begins to yearn for the universe. Then, when it breaks through the universe, what attracts it beyond the universe is the endless unknown. Therefore, freedom never stops, it At best, it is just an expansion of human desires, therefore, freedom comes from a kind of irrationality, because a rational person cannot see the end of freedom, so there is no such thing as pursuing freedom.”

"Next, is my first question." Aya showed a sly smile, she poked her head out and asked, "Nikolai, if you understand what I just said, you should understand that I am Call you irrational, then, will you feel angry?"

Gogol just showed a frightened expression, he didn't feel angry or offended.

All of Aya's actions now cast a thick filter in his eyes. In fact, he felt that when she asked such a tricky question, her radiant look was also very cute.

... so much so that he kind of forgot Aya's question.

"Lilian, my miss." He thought about it carefully for a long time, and finally said with a long sigh, "Whether you are playing tricks on me or not, I will not be angry."

Aya just tilted her head and looked at him, waiting for more answers from him.

"I can't change my mind." Gogol said after deliberation, "However, if it can make you happier, my tolerance for you is already so high that I can't even imagine it myself, so, Li Lian, stop talking like that, it just makes me think you're awesome."

"I mean..." He smiled at the end, but still didn't prove to answer Aya's question, because he couldn't give an answer at this time, so he answered her words in another way, "I think I have See what you're trying to tell me. But listen to me, Lillian, don't you see a hole in your words? What about the freedom you have if everything is extended? It's not the same as your saying 'man is forever The 'paradox of not being free'."

Aya choked on his words.

Is she going to tell Gogol that she is not human?

After his questioning, Aya couldn't get any more information on this point of view.

So she had no choice but to suffer in silence.

"Okay, okay, let's not talk about this issue." She simply gave up, patted the table in front of Gogol, and said, "The next question. Dangdangdang, Nikolai, please listen to the question." !"

He just pretended to be listening carefully.

"Nikolai, do you know Alexander Pushkin?"

"Of course, it's true." Gogol answered the question easily, but he still had some bad premonitions in his heart.

Since Ling asked a simple fact, she must have another tricky problem.

"Nikolai, do you know Fedya? Fyodor Dostoevsky." Aya continued to ask.

It turned out that she just wanted to ask this question.

Nikolai Gogol finally realized a problem.

Although he knew that Fyodor also knew Lillian, in fact, there was no one in their organization who didn't know her.

To them, she is very important.

But what was her relationship to Fyodor?

Why did she suddenly ask this strange question?

Before Gogol could recover from his contemplation, and Ling didn't give her time to react, she asked him one after another about every doubt.

"If you know Fei Jia, you once told me that you appeared in the amusement park, so what role did you play there? Are you and Fei Jia from the same organization? Or are you colleagues? ? You told me that you went to the amusement park just passing by? Let me guess, Nikolai, is this another lie of yours?"

"Remember your promise? Nikolai, this is what you said. As long as you ask me, I will tell you all the answers."

Aya stretched out an index finger and waved it in front of him.

"So, Nikolai, you can't lie, or you will commit a foul."

The author has something to say: I feel that I wrote this chapter very poorly...but I can't correct it, I'm crazy, I don't care, that's it 8.

Regarding the heroine, I think Gibran's explanation in "The Prophet" is better.

My heart is bleeding; for you are free only when you realize that the desire to be free is a fetter, and only when you do not call freedom an end or an achievement.

You are bound by your own dawn to your noon, only to break through this shackle, otherwise how can you transcend the limit of day and night?

Indeed, the positive and negative sides of all things are always operating in you, desire and fear, loathing and affection, pursuit and escape.

These things move through your life like light and shadow nestled together.

When the shadow fades away, the lingering light will become the shadow of another light.

Thus, when your freedom is freed from its shackles, it becomes the shackles of a greater freedom.

① "Narrow Flow to ya ya Blok" - Gippius

② "Hope" - Emily Brontë

I changed the order a little bit.