Lillian's Melaleuca routine

They are waiting for the sunrise.

In the thin sky, there are faint shadows of stars.

Aya did not reply anything to Fyodor.

She sat on the ground silently, watching the rare scene of day and night dividing, morning and evening intertwined.

The sky was in a hazy state, and the color seemed to be in the state of a dark room with blurred vision and only one corner curtain drawn when you just woke up.

Can't man also be like day and night, which cannot be clearly separated?

Is this also a mistake?

Obviously, Fyodor did not convince her, on the contrary, his words aggravated Aya's curiosity and suspicion towards him.

Would such an extremely contradictory and egotistical person also express this view of the unity of personality?

Aya remained silent for a long time, looking at the fish belly white sky, like a black and purple splashed ink oil painting, and then all dissolved in Fyodor's eyes.

"Fei Jia, I appreciate your consolation. But you can't convince me. In addition, I want to say a spoiler. You make me feel ridiculous. I thought, you have given up imposing your thoughts on others plan, but you tell me with practical actions, you still haven’t.”

She said it bluntly, without mercy.

"Absurd? Maybe you're right. People in our world live in absurdity and nothingness." Fyodor said, his eyes were lighted, and the iris revealed a psychedelic purple light.

"Are you a Quixote, Fedya?"

"Quixote? Idealism? On the contrary. It is because reality is so false that people live to find the truth," Fyodor said.

"According to you, do all human beings live in hypocrisy? I am not as ideal as you, if only you are sober." Ling said, her tone was full of sarcasm.

Fyodor didn't discuss this point with Ayado. He suddenly changed the subject and said, "Compared to me, Lilian, shouldn't you care about yourself?"

"Should I be concerned about something? Looks like, Fei Jia, you know me better than I do. I live in absurdity, so what else should I worry about?" Ling raised her eyebrows and asked along the steps.

"To a certain extent, you are right." Unexpectedly, Fyodor did not veto this sentence, but said meaningfully, "Don't you care about your own origin?"

"Why should you care?" Aya asked strangely, "It has nothing to do with me, and it has nothing to do with you. I'm curious about these things, but I'm not curious when this sentence comes from your mouth."

Fyodor was only silent for a while, and then he chuckled and said something gentle: "Lilian, compared to me, your life is living in absurdity."

Aya tightened her down jacket.

The wind whistled from the gaps in the exposed cheeks, from the neck into the limbs, pierced into the gaps in the skin, and finally flowed into the heart.

This living heart was throbbing as always, with a bewildering frequency, and it was cooling down.

Aya's heart trembled, what Fyodor wanted to tell her was not free, he was trying to lure her into the trap of curiosity.

She didn't want to be fooled so easily, although she did become curious about what he said.

"Fei Jia, don't mention this to me." Ling covered her ears as if she was stealing the bell. Although it didn't do anything to block his voice, she just used this action to express a kind of rejection.

"Lilian, do you think this world is absurd?" Fyodor did not continue, and he said another sentence that was almost the same.

"In terms of construction projects, there is a very interesting illusion." Ling took his words, but she said something completely unrelated to their previous chat.

Fyodor didn't try to break back their conversation, he sat leisurely on the withered ground, and smoothed his hair blown by the wind, revealing half of his clear side face.

The sky began to light up, and everything around him began to wake up from the darkness, and the shadow of the sky that had been suppressed gradually began to dissipate and fade.

He just asked, "What illusion?"

"Space elevator, that is, the cosmic elevator. Arthur Clarke conceived this scenario in "Heavenly Springs", using ropes made of carbon nanotubes to make an elevator leading to the space station, people can go to another place like a garden. A planet. But in fact, our current technology is not enough to build it, but this idea is interesting enough, like a ladder of sufficient length, people can use it to leave the atmosphere, and even communicate with the universe, turning the solar system into a human backyard Fedya, do you think this is some kind of absurd joke?"

Fyodor did not reply.

After a long time, he said: "For most people, this is a good assumption. If the illusion has no capital to realize, people are more willing to call it a fantasy."

"Yeah. So, when Clarke was asked about when the idea of ​​a space elevator would actually be possible, he said when people stopped making jokes about it."

Aya turned around and looked at Fyodor.

She sighed, and looked up at the sky. At this time, the stars had disappeared, but she believed that they were still there, and she just hid them. At night, they would appear again, in her eyes, in the sky. gather in the air.

"It's a pity that there are no more stars now."

She took off the hat she wore on top of her head, as if hoping that her brain could be immersed in the air as much as possible, and these tiny natural particles helped her find herself.

"Fedya." She called Fyodor softly, and then said, "I don't understand, why does the word absurd exist? I always feel that these seemingly unrealistic things also have their existence Reasonably, thousands of years ago, who would have known that people walked upside down on the earth every day?"

Aya looked at Fyodor with those misty pupils, and she looked at him with a sense of suffocation.

There was no light in her dark pupils, and she was withdrawn from her body like a ghost.

Fyodor noticed her abnormality.

Aya didn't give him any attention, she just said gloomily.

"I look down on those who waste their lives. People who abandon time make me feel painful, because I see myself in them." She covered her eyes, "I exist as a book in the waiting of nothingness. No Self, only exists for the wishes of others. But I never think that my existence is meaningless. When I have freedom and liberate from books, I am sincerely grateful to eternity, which allows me more time to explore .”

"So." Aya stood up, patted Fyodor's hair with both hands, and said seriously, "Feyya, I'm not ridiculous at all."

Fyodor nodded, and there was a light of interest in his eyes. He thought Aya was very interesting now.

Ling was not in the mood to pay attention to his performance, she just lowered her head and continued, "Fei Jia, do you know the definition of time?"

She is like a little girl in high spirits, eager to share her gains, but this does not come from a mood of anticipation of affirmation, but a kind of rambling self-talk.

Before Fyodor could speak, Aya asked and answered herself.

"We usually think that time is objective, it doesn't change with any change, and time is fair to everyone." She paused, as if waiting for Fyodor to hear clearly, and then she Continued, "However, this conclusion was eventually terminated by Einstein. He used a cesium atomic clock to prove the fact that time will pass faster and faster as the altitude increases, because time can be affected by mass, and the higher the mass The time on the surface of a large object passes more slowly. The closer a person is to the earth, that is, the lower the altitude, the closer to the earth's core, the slower the passage of time, and the less likely it is for people to age."

"Fedya, do you also think this is absurd?"

Fyodor smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps. I once had an ineffective idea of ​​this conclusion. Would you like to hear it? Fedya, perhaps it is an absurdity too, but it is lovely to me."

Aya tilted her body backwards, then fell heavily on the ground, she asked with her hands on the back of her head.

"Of course, I have no right to refuse."

"You can reject my nonsense if you want."

Fyodor replied calmly: "I don't want to."

Aya looked at him steadily, and finally she shook her head.

"Now, please look up, Fedya. What do you see?"

Together they looked overhead.

"Sky?"

"wrong!"

Aya waved her hand.

"dark clouds?"

"wrong!"

Aya didn't expect his answer anymore, she announced the answer: "It's the universe."

"When we look at the universe, it's like looking at the world through a microscope. In the sky, the universe is always only the width of the sky, but in fact, we know that the universe is much bigger than we imagined. When we look at the universe, we feel that the universe is What is moving, in fact, is human beings looking at the universe with subverted and rotating eyes. If the universe is imagined as an enlarged earth, then human beings are just one of the most insignificant particles in the universe. Now, suppose I want to start Go to the center of the universe, yes!" Ling paused, she wanted to maintain a sense of mystery, "I will climb to the center of the universe through a small ladder. And assuming that the mass of the universe is large enough, the center of the universe Time passes slowly enough, so when I finally reach the center of this infinite universe, can I be regarded as reaching eternity? Can an object with infinite mass be weakened to stand still?"

Aya was amused by her own conclusion, but she still asked seriously: "Fei Jia, do you think this is absurd?"

"It's just a cute idea, but it's a little unrealistic." Fyodor seemed surprised by her idea, he smiled, and said, "If you want to use this to prove that absurdity is everywhere, Lillian, you don't have to go through so much trouble. There are many unexplainable paradoxes in this world, and Schrödinger's cat is one of them."

"Then you are also ridiculous, do you admit it? Fei Jia." Aya asked obliquely.

"of course."

"Then you admit that I'm right?"

"I have no reason not to say no," Fyodor replied, returning to their previous conversation, "but I said those words only to tell you, Lillian, that it is not wise to separate yourself. Thought, you seem to have misunderstood something."

"Can you tell me the reason?" Aya asked, this time, she regained her senses.

"Who told you that the 'book' must be impartial?" Fyodor said, and he hit the nail on the head.

Aya suddenly raised her head and looked at him.

Fyodor just said unhurriedly: "Even God can have his own desires. Before Christ ascended to heaven, Christianity only belonged to the Jews. Then why do you separate yourself from the book and separate yourself into two selves? Because you are afraid of losing yourself and becoming a tool for others?"

It was already full light, but the sun had not yet appeared.

Fyodor picked up a small stone and threw it away.The small stone rolled with force, and then fell into the abyss without any resistance, without even a sound.

He picked up the stones one by one and repeated this action to pass the time.

Finally, Ling stretched out her hand and stopped him from picking up stones.

"Fei Jia, you are right. Although I heard some other thoughts in your tone, you must have your own selfishness when you say these words. But enough, I did not express any hope that you will help me unconditionally. As Repay, let me tell you a surprise."

Aya said.

Their attention was quickly drawn away.

Where the sky and the earth disappeared, a wisp of golden rice paddy is slowly escaping the repressed narrow border.

Aya sat up, stretched her waist, and then concentrated on looking at the end of the distance.

"Do you think there is only one world? Is there only one universe?"

She said softly, her tone extremely gentle.

Something told herself that her spirit was burning like fire, although now there was only the cruel wind, bringing a stinging knife-like cutting sensation.

Feeling ecstatic excitement in herself, she looked at Fyodor.

He was standing up slowly, his eyes fixed on the golden-red sun with only a corner exposed.

"Really?" he said.

He had already guessed what Aya was going to say.

"My answer is that the world is not unique. It's like a book of fairy tales, and each fairy tale in the book represents a new world. Today, parallel universes are still just a theory, but I will tell you, Fedya, If each world is a bubble-like object, and these bubbles are at the nodes of different worlds, in fact, each bubble contains its unique past and future, and these bubbles are intertwined to form a world that we are not I don’t understand time and space. Therefore, in the universe, there is no time, time only becomes time in the human realm②, when I turn a page of the book, I realize that I am in the present, and I am trying to Peek into the past and change the future."

The brilliance of those suns is the sharpness of the scythe cutting wheat, and it reminds her of the froth on the golden beach when the seagulls flap their wings.

The sun rose slowly, and through the clouds, the light refracted a prism-like brilliance.

"This world is not special."

Aya said while watching the sun.

"We live in ambiguity and deception, because all the phenomena we see can be explained as some chemical phenomena. Under the microscope, we found small molecules, and then we discovered that everything large and visible to the naked eye can be destroyed. Decomposed into smaller particles, it is the eyes and light that reshape us, bring us illusions, and also bring us the experience of beauty."

"Fei Jia, do you still expect to change all of this? Even if you know that this world is just one possibility among countless events, you are not important, and you cannot change everything."

Aya closed her eyes, the pain from the light still lingering in her retinas.

She turned to look at Fyodor, who was still staring at the silhouette of the great light.

Light shines through his pupils, in and out of stars in his eyes.

"Why not?" Fyodor said, "will you accept waiting for eternity? Lillian, in fact, I think that human emotions are far more complicated than the universe. Do you know that a leaf can play a ditty ? Do you understand that the collision of planets can be so moving? And that's what I'm doing, I'm discovering beauty."

He turned around and saw Aya's eyes tightly closed trembling slightly, so he reached out and put his hands on her eyes, covering her from the stinging pain.

"I see. Then, Fedya, I told you that I would cut myself off from the 'book', that I would become an emotional being. I had already given up on that plan, but, again, I I didn't give up on this plan." Aya took a deep breath and moved his hand away.

She noticed that his hands were still icy cold, even though he had worn enough.

She held his hand tightly, trying to pass on the heat to her.

Her eyes were shrouded in brilliance.

The huge sun blurred a corner of the sky, leaving only the illusion of being white enough to glow.

Not long passed, and the sky was completely bright, and the earth gave off a breath of life. If the sea fish were sleeping on the cold bottom, at this time, they had already started to move their bodies, looking for the distorted sun in the sea.

"Please separate who you are from who you have always been, Fedya."

Aya took a deep breath and said.

"Please fall in love with me."

She stretched out her hand, as if holding the sun in her palm.

They stood on the land, and she held up a glowing beacon and lit the heart of the night with it.

She looked at Fyodor, saw his golden face, which seemed to gather a circle of light.

"Therefore, let me love you."

"I will fulfill all your wishes and remove all obstacles for you."

Aya tightened her palms, the little sun reflected crooked halos as if it had been squeezed flat.

She met Fyodor's eyes.

"Please come closer to me and be a flower on my glass."

"And I will take off the sun for you, take off the crown woven of leaves, be your princess, and be your prisoner, and overcome thorns and thorns for you."

She moved closer to Fyodor and rested her head on his shoulder.

she said in a naive tone.

"At that time, I will look into your eyes, and I will dare to kiss you③."

"so."

Aya stood behind him, stood on tiptoe, and covered his eyes with her other hand.

Although the size of her hands seemed insufficient, Fyodor had already closed her eyes.

she said hopelessly.

"Please be my sun."

And the sun in her hand extinguished the last flickering darkness.

Aya kept this motion, and she watched the sun pass her hand and finally stop high in the sky.

Their shadows appeared in the elongated back, like two sick cats joined together, revealing a black, mirror-like luster.

Rough gravel hides in the shadows, making up the inky fur.

They are gradually drowning in the quiet wind.

Fyodor's face was facing the sun, and the light gathered on his face, like a matchstick piercing his skin and burning in his heart.

Finally, he said.

"I have no right to refuse you, whether for myself or others."

He sighed and his voice softened.

"If you try to pull me up, please pull me up."

The author has something to say: the first volume is almost over, and there may be another chapter to finish, or not to close.

I really like this chapter, it has been revised for half a year, and I think it is the best one written in so many chapters so far @[email protected]①It means full of ideals, only acting according to ideals and disregarding reality, crazy way of doing things for dreams.

② "The Order of Time"

"Time is time only in the realm of man."

③ "I Will Dare to Kiss You"

The original text is not connected.

"I will look into your eyes, and when death locks your beloved mouth, which I have never kissed, I will dare to kiss you, when the night gathers in your truncated life."