Lillian's Melaleuca routine

Ling was silent for a long time before asking.

"So, did you deliberately arrange what happened today?"

Sigma shook his head and said incoherently: "No! Please believe me, this is indeed an accident, you know, I have no courage at all, I am just an ordinary person..."

"I believe you."

Aya interrupted his rambling self-report.

He breathed a sigh of relief, but soon felt nervous.

"Thank you, Lily, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..."

He stammered and started apologizing again.

"Don't be nervous." Aya sighed and said, "Sigma, we still have one night to talk. Please calm down, I believe you don't want to leave a bad impression on me."

This time he didn't say a word of apology.

"Then can I turn on the light? I want to see you."

he asked.

"...if you want, it's up to you."

Aya felt powerless.

In the end, they are back to the way they were when they first met.

Aya climbed down the small stairs, and they sat on the bed underneath and chatted with the lights on.

It was very late, everyone around them had already fallen asleep, and there were no rustling footsteps in the aisle.

Sigma also introduced himself and explained his situation. After the light was turned on, he obviously regained his rationality and became much more normal.

He is exceptionally talkative and lively.

"So, Fei Jia told you?" Ling asked, her focus was more focused on another aspect, "How much did he tell you about me?"

"He told me you were the one who made me. I helped him with things and he helped me find you."

Sigma replied.

Aya didn't get entangled in these things, and she has no interest in Sigma's affairs now.

However, Sigma's words triggered her another thought, how much Fyodor knew about her?

Until then, she felt that she needed to care about his affairs, because she still needed to get information from him.

"So, Sigma, you think you're my, um...creation?"

Aya asked with a strange tone, predictably, she was not very happy about this relationship.

But she didn't show any distaste for it, even though she thought so.

"Why do you think so, Lily?" Sigma reached out and stroked his long hair.The surprise in his ice-coloured pupils was quickly replaced by meekness.

Aya argued: "Isn't that what you said? 'You are the one who created me'."

Depressedly, she grabbed the pillow at hand and scratched her head frantically.

"God, I wish I hadn't heard that, it's true, it's true! Incomprehensible! Unthinkable! Unthinkable!"

She even repeated it twice, which made her feel groggy.

"But, Sigma, I feel the need to tell you that you are not a creature, understand?"

Aya quickly regained her usual calm, she said seriously.

"That's what Fyodor told me." Sigma stretched out his hand and combed her messy hair. When Aya repeated this action, he patiently and patiently moved the hair back to the correct position.

"Of course, I don't think so either. If you don't mind listening, I think..." He smiled, trying to continue.

"Stop, stop, Sigma, stop talking."

Sigma stopped talking. Although he didn't understand what aspect of him had offended her, it was enough.

"Sorry, Lily, we can change the subject. If you want, can you tell me how long you will be staying in Petersburg?" He changed the subject naturally.

"Why are you asking these?"

"I want to meet you." He said sincerely, with sincerity in his tone.

"..."

Aya didn't say no immediately.

She turned sideways to look at Sigma, and found that he was watching her without blinking, his eyes full of a light of hope, and a kind of innocence that did not match his age.

"No." She finally refused him.

"I want to be your tour guide." Instead of giving up, he said it instead.

"Are you a foreigner? Can you speak Russian? Sigma." Aya asked critically, and she asked with scrutiny.

Sigma nodded.

He added: "I also speak Japanese, German and French, and I can learn other languages ​​if you want. Don't worry, I know enough about Petersburg and I'm available 24 hours a day if you want. You can spend my money if you like, Lily."

"These are not enough to impress me." Aya said coldly.

"My ability is to exchange the most desired information of the person I touch with the information I most want." Without changing his face, he calmly began to sell all his information.

"Huh!?" Aya sighed in surprise.

She already had a premonition of what Sigma was going to say next.

"Yes, no matter who it is, I will get you the information you want. If you need Fyodor's information, please let me get it for you."

"Is he your colleague? Your savior. Sigma, I can't believe that you are betraying your companion!"

Although Aya is very tempted, she still does not forget to bargain.

"How is your relationship with Nikolai? You pretended not to know him just now!"

He just looked at her with that soft, heartbreaking look, full of complex emotions.

"I, Fyodor, and those people in the organization are in a relationship of interest. Fyodor is just using me to achieve his goals, and I do some things for him. But, Lily."

He propped his chin with his hands, lowered his eyes, and said what he didn't finish before.

"In this world, only you and I are the same kind. I will never betray you, please believe this."

He stood up nervously, walked up to Ling and looked at her.

He looked at her with all his heart.

"I just beg you to look at me."

He held out his hand.

A long silence filled the air.

Aya leaned back in her chair, still thinking.

Outside the window, the moon is blocked by dark clouds, but the interior is very bright.

Aya was going to refuse, but she couldn't find any reason to convince herself to agree.

This shallow relationship can't hook her.

Likewise, she had no curiosity about Sigma, who had struck her as nothing but his face so far—he was too ordinary.

She didn't quite trust Sigma, everything he acted was just too weird.

Would a human being also call himself the same as a book?

This is simply ridiculous!

But then she had a bold idea.

So far, she has known three members of the Five Decays of Heaven and Man. They all have secrets, and they gather together to plan to change the world and reorganize the order.

And how interesting and challenging it is to separate the five declines of heaven and man!

Once the idea started, she felt eager to try it.

Aya felt an uncontrollable sense of excitement, and her heart had already traveled thousands of miles.

Could she be a part of their grand plan in another way?

Her destructive and voyeuristic desires are burning and intensifying.

"In that case." Aya coughed lightly, restrained the smile that was about to fly out of the corner of her mouth, and said subtly, "Sigma."

She put her hand on his palm, raised her head and said arrogantly and jokingly, with the tone of an arrogant and domineering young lady.

"Then please help me."

Besides, she would have to hinder Fyodor a bit.

They haven't talked for a long time, which makes Aya feel frustrated. She feels that she is doing a useless job and talking in the vernacular.

She wants revenge on him!

Sigma just lowered his head calmly and kissed her hand lightly.

"I'd love to be of service to you."

He closed his eyes, feeling dizzy.

They quickly ended this brief conversation.

It was midnight when I lay in bed.

After a series of wild thoughts, Aya quickly closed her eyes and fell asleep heartlessly.

Sigma lay motionless on the bed, but he wasn't asleep yet, like a zombie.

His heart still hangs and doesn't let go.

Everything that happened tonight was like a dream, which made him feel unreal.

Pleasure surrounded him, and at the same time, another emotion was gnawing at him.

It's like making up the first lie, always using countless lies to complete it.

While feeling uncontrollable joy, he also made a big hole in the pit of his heart.

What he felt was torment.

The aphid eats the grass, the rust eats the iron, and hypocrisy eats his soul. ①

The author has something to say: ① Chekhov's "My Life"

"Aphids eat grass, rust eats iron, and hypocrisy eats the soul."

A casually written side story, one of which is the heroine, and the other is unknown, just read it casually.

Regarding Fei Jia, I will solve his other motifs next, because he does not only have the motif of crime and punishment. The conception of society, wait until I finish reading The Brothers Karamazov, it's not utopia anyway.

I said before that Wen Yetuo is an atheist. After thinking about it, I decided to write according to Tuo’s, which is the vague position of believing in God or not.

Now I feel more and more that Chaogiri does not respect foreign literary giants, so I will write according to Tuoshi where there are conflicts between Tuo's thoughts and Tuo's thoughts shaped by Chaogiri.His Pushkin really left me speechless. Think about it, if Lu X was painted like that, Wen Ye would have been banned a long time ago.

Extra 01

"Yes, I think Fyodor Dostoevsky is a noble man."

"He's obviously a devil!"

"In what position do you say such a thing?"

"Isn't it considered despicable for him to act recklessly and disturb the world? Isn't it considered cruel for him to start a war and sacrifice the names of innocent people!"

"You are wrong. Noble people live in hell, and despicable people die in heaven."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say."

"Once upon a time I thought the same thing as you, but I have only recently discovered the error of this view. When human beings praise a person for being noble, it is because he knows that he can never be him. On the contrary, when they are sarcastic, when they are mean, Precisely because they are despicable themselves, when they tell others, they also tell themselves that you can't go astray and kill yourself."

"Only suffering can create nobleness. A gentle and comfortable flock cannot create heroes. Similarly, when we are mixed in the secular world, we should not look critically at anyone. We cannot stand on the side of the person involved. Think about the problem from a different angle, so don't say what you think is right!"

"Are you blaming me?"

"Yes."

"Imagine a person falls into a cliff. There are two possibilities for his fate. One is to die, and the other is to survive the fall. Which one do you think is more worthwhile?"

"Of course it's the second type. No matter what, life is always the most important."

"This is the idea of ​​ordinary people. Noble people will only usher in the first kind of ending. People who regard life as noble are selfish, and naturally they are not noble. In addition, to create nobleness requires another conditions, that is a tragedy."

"Tragedy? What is that?"

"The heart of man is a mirror, and he is ashamed of himself only before God. Similarly, the heart of man is sinister. Only death can appease their anger and timidity, and make them turn to worship. Human beings only praise what they don't have. Air is available to everyone. , will anyone praise it?"

"..."

"If a war is launched, it will inevitably bring about the demise of innocent people. Can such a person be considered noble? Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not joking."

"I think Fyodor Dostoevsky is a noble man. I repeat my opinion once again."

"Please explain, otherwise, I will only think that you are also an unreasonable person."

"For the superiors, they need to face two games, one is the game between self and conscience, the game between ego and others, and the other is the game between majority and minority."

"I agree with that, but what does it matter?"

"Fyodor Dostoevsky favored mortals in the choice between supernatural beings and mortals, and his choice was the opposite of most people."

"He started the war!"

"Without him, the war will start!"

"Don't you understand? If you are a decision maker and you plan to retreat in a war, there are two options. One is to retreat with no bait, but half of the people will die because of it. The second way It is to sacrifice one-tenth of the people in exchange for the chance of more people surviving. The retreat of all members can ensure the survival of your cronies and family members, but the second method will sacrifice a small number of soldiers including you. You Tell me, which one would you choose?"

"..."

"You answer me?"

"..."

"Since you can't answer my question, please don't point fingers and say self-righteous words, understand? This is also a kind of selfishness."

"Admit it, this is a kind of greatness, and a tragic greatness at that."

"I can't understand that you would speak for another human being."

"Let me tell you why. Because I cannot be Fyodor Dostoyevsky."

"It's easy to live for yourself. There's a gust of wind blowing from the grass, a flutter in the bushes, most of the bushes don't move, but only those things that float away bring life."

"Are you laughing at the meanness of us people?"

"This is your own idea, but I just want to tell you that a great personality was born here."

"Admit it, because you like him, you are partial to him."

"There are only two ways to live: to rot or to burn. The cowardly and greedy choose the former, the brave and big-hearted choose the latter; everyone who loves good things knows where greatness lies. ① So if you feel ashamed , That's just me poking your heart."

"However, you are right about one thing."

"I love him, I like him, so I want to kiss him."

"You are really unreasonable! In any case, war is a mistake!"

"Who told you this? I don't think war is right, but I never think war is a mistake. The way war is written by the victor is revolution, and it is war that is lost. In history, war There is never right or wrong. Because war is a great loss to the individual, but it is only a game to the species. If it is won, the war is beneficial to the species, and if it is lost, the war is the price."

"Maybe you're right, but I still can't empathize."

"That's one side of being human."

"Aren't you one-sided when you take sides with Fyodor Dostoevsky?"

"Yes, I cannot deny that."

"You actually fell in love with such a demon."

"He is your demon and my angel."

"You are crazy!"

"If I were crazy, I would immediately destroy everything and help him fulfill all his wishes. But I didn't."

"So what are you doing now?"

"I'm watching him die."

"Oh! God, I thought you were hopeless. Now it seems that there is still hope for you."

"Why do you think so? Everything I do is to make him fall in love with me."

"He needs to break the glass with his own hands, and then he can see me. There is no other way."

① Gorky's "Clock"

"There are only two ways to live: to rot or to burn. The cowardly and greedy choose the former, the brave and big-hearted the latter; every man who loves good things knows where greatness lies."