Return to the Road of God

The half-hidden curtains slightly cover the green trees outside the window, and the sunlight comes in dimly, and sprinkles in the small room of the hostel.

Uneaten bread, mineral water, and several bottles of nutrient tablets were piled messily on the simple desk.

There is no hanger, and the black windbreaker jacket and trousers are hanging on the only chair with a back in the room, and next to it is a wooden single bed covered with plain sheets.

The sound of other tenants coming in and out from the next door and downstairs, and the voices of people passing by outside the window, or the trembling of the branches and leaves in the wind...

It's like stepping back into the French countryside of the 60s, where they were, too.

In a dilapidated small hotel, drinking cheap but delicious wine, just lie in bed all day.Never worry about what will happen tomorrow.

Almost the same scene and the posture of lying on the bed, but now it is different.

On the not-so-spacious bed, nestling in the man's arms was a slender young man, like a child who hadn't grown up snuggling up to his father, and the man's eyes showed endless pampering, more like the love for a lover.

They have been staying in the hotel for two full days and two nights, except that Bai Changqing once went downstairs to ask the store owner to help buy some simple food and water, the two have not been separated yet.

"What are you thinking?" The man asked softly the boy in his arms.

Ye Yufan said calmly: "Back then..."

"I'm sorry." Before the words came out, the apology came first.

"I don't blame you," Ye Yufan shook his head and said, "I heard that you were seriously ill at that time."

Bai Changqing: "But I shouldn't have left you and made you suffer."

Ye Yufan smiled lightly: "It doesn't matter."

Bai Changqing plucked up his courage and asked: "Do you still remember what happened back then?... You never told me personally what happened after I left."

After hearing this, Ye Yufan's face showed a hint of fear.

"Lin Yun...does you feel bad?" Bai Changqing asked hesitantly.

Ye Yufan's face was pale, as if recalling some unbearable past, but this time, he didn't scream or go crazy, but hugged Bai Changqing tightly, trying to curl himself up.

Bai Changqing was a little strange, he only knew that Guan Linyun had failed his expectations, not only failed to take good care of Xiaochuan, but also married and had children on his own, allowing Fang Ruoyao, who was jealous of love, to mentally stimulate Xia Xiaochuan, and was published by the Mu family under false pretense. The works that should not be circulated by the Xia family... All this made him extremely angry after returning, but after hearing Guan Linyun's difficulties, he also tried to forgive him. After all, love cannot be forced; Under the pressure of the big family, Guan Linyun also tried his best to protect Xia Xiaochuan... Maybe it can only be blamed on bad luck, God is jealous of talents!

But seeing Ye Yufan's reaction now, Bai Changqing couldn't help but start to suspect that something happened back then that he didn't know about.

"If there is any grievance, you can tell me." Bai Changqing comforted him.

Ye Yufan was trembling all over, unable to say anything.

Bai Changqing stroked his back: "I'm here, don't be afraid."

After a long time, Ye Yufan calmed down a bit, and said in a weak voice, "I'm sorry..."

Bai Changqing: "Why do you want to apologize to me?"

Ye Yufan was too nervous to look into Bai Changqing's eyes: "Sorry, I... fell in love with Lin Yun."

Bai Changqing was shocked: "...what?"

Ye Yufan said helplessly: "After you left, I waited for a long time, but you didn't come back. I was very desperate... Later, I found out that I fell in love with Lin Yun."

Bai Changqing was shocked, because in Guan Linyun's narration, Xia Xiaochuan had never accepted him!

"...Are you sure?" Bai Changqing's eyes were sharp.

Ye Yufan: "I don't know why this happened."

Bai Changqing suddenly remembered what Rui Beinian yelled loudly at Ye Yufan in the park that day, about "erasing memory" and "split personality". At that time, he didn't quite believe that nonsense. Everything was erased from Xia Xiaochuan's memory, so how could Ye Yufan recognize him?But now hearing what Ye Yufan said, Bai Changqing had to be suspicious of that speculation.

"My memory is very confused," Ye Yufan said blankly, "When I think about those things, my head hurts."

Bai Changqing gently rubbed Ye Yufan's temples: "If you feel uncomfortable, don't think about it, it doesn't matter if you don't talk about it."

"You..." Ye Yufan hesitated to speak.

Bai Changqing: "What's wrong?"

Ye Yufan looked like he was about to cry: "Are you going to abandon me?"

Bai Changqing's heart twisted instantly: "How could it be, idiot..."

Ye Yufan: "Then why are you avoiding me?"

Bai Changqing concluded.

Ye Yufan looked at him sadly: "I saw you several times, but you ran away every time."

Bai Changqing fondled the boy's hair with his fingers: "I'm afraid to disturb you."

Ye Yufan: "But I've been looking for you."

Bai Changqing asked: "Why are you so persistent in finding me?"

Ye Yufan looked at him sadly: "I want to know if you really abandoned me."

Bai Changqing sighed deeply, feeling pain and sour in his heart, "I love you, idiot..."

Although Bai Changqing said this, Ye Yufan still felt wronged: "You swear that you will never leave me on your own initiative again. Even if you are sick, I will accompany you and take care of you."

Bai Changqing seemed a little embarrassed, Ye Yufan stared at him nervously, afraid that he would say something that would disappoint him, but Bai Changqing only hesitated for a moment, and then agreed: "Okay, I swear, if I leave you on my own initiative, I will... ..."

"Don't!" Ye Yufan seemed to have a premonition, covered Bai Changqing's mouth in an instant, and interrupted him, "Don't swear, even if you really...for some reason...leave me, I don't want you either Hurt, no matter where you are, let me know that you are alive and well..." He said, tears fell like a broken thread.

Bai Changqing had mixed feelings, with unconcealable sadness in his eyes, he hugged the big boy and kept coaxing him, comforting him with sweet words that he hadn't said in most of his life: "I don't want to leave you either, I want to take you far away ..."

But he said in his heart, my little fool, how could I not leave?You are still so young, but I am already an old man half buried in the soil...

"Let's go to Lourmarin, do you still remember, you love the purple flower fields that meet the sky there..."

Those loves and hatreds, those years of hardships, those longings for you day and night, have already made me riddled with holes, and your appearance can only temporarily relieve my burdened soul, just like returning to the light...

"Let's find a secluded farmhouse and raise a snow-white Andalusian horse, just like Haizi's poems..."

I will leave you one day. When you are in your prime, I will disappear suddenly. It is not worth your concern, and it is not worth your sacrifice for me...

Bai Changqing pretended to be relaxed and patted him on the back and said, "But are you willing to go with me? What about your friend and your studies?"

Yes, what an exciting vision, but Ye Yufan hesitated.

He frowned, as if he was in a war between heaven and man. After a long time, he said honestly: "I want to ignore it and just be with you, but when I think so, it's very uncomfortable here." He was so dazed. Pointing to his chest, a little puzzled.

Bai Changqing smiled wryly, and it was true.

How complicated and incredible it is for people to be resurrected from the dead. Just having one percent of Xia Xiaochuan's memory, or Xia Xiaochuan's soul fragments, is enough to make those who miss him thankful. How could he force this young man to carry the dead? The obsession, living like a puppet?Ye Yufan should have his own life track.

Bai Changqing asked him with a look of helplessness: "Then tell me, what should we do next?"

Ye Yufan bit his lip, leaned back on Bai Changqing's chest, and said sullenly, "I don't know."

Bai Changqing reminded him: "I remember, you are still participating in a painting competition?"

"It seems to be..." Ye Yufan shook his head, "I've always felt a little dazed these two days."

Bai Changqing: "Where is the trance?"

Ye Yufan: "I seem to have forgotten something."

Bai Changqing: "Is it because you are so happy to see me?"

"Maybe." Ye Yufan laughed suddenly, "You know, since I woke up, I have had nightmares every night, and almost never had a good night's sleep. It was not until I came here with you the day before yesterday that I felt at ease, and it's true that I can fall asleep with peace of mind. That's great." This was the only smile that the boy showed in these two days, he was always very uneasy, as if he was afraid of something.

Bai Changqing asked casually, "When did you become sober?"

Ye Yufan thought for a while and said, "It's been almost two years."

Bai Changqing smiled and said, "In the past two years, you should have painted a lot, right?"

"No," Ye Yufan looked at his hands and said distressedly, "I don't feel as handy as before..."

Bai Changqing said: "Maybe it's unfamiliarity. After all, I haven't painted for so long, I should do more... Do you want to paint?"

"Think about it," Ye Yufan said in a daze, "Think about it all the time."

Bai Changqing stood up: "Let's go buy some paper, pens and paints together."

But Ye Yufan bowed like a cat, he didn't want to take a step out of this room, and he didn't want to be separated from Bai Changqing.

Bai Changqing sighed: "We still have to go and buy some food, you haven't eaten staple food for a day."

Ye Yufan looked at Bai Changqing and shook his head desperately: "Don't go."

"I promise to be back soon. Look, my passport and ID card are here. I only bring some cash. I can't go anywhere." Bai Changqing glanced at his watch and said, "Up to three 10 minutes."

Holding the passport that Bai Changqing handed over, Ye Yufan said with difficulty: "Then I'll wait for you."

Bai Changqing touched the top of his head, put on his coat and hat and went out.

When he came back, Ye Yufan still maintained the posture he had left, with his legs hugged and wrapped in a thin blanket - it smelled like evergreen cypress. He squatted on the bed and stared at the door intently.

Seeing Bai Changqing coming in, Ye Yufan hurriedly jumped down and threw himself on him, hugging him fiercely.

Bai Changqing patted him on the back helplessly: "Look, I didn't lie to you."

In just twenty minutes, Ye Yufan felt like he had been waiting for hours.

Paper pens and paints are the basic items in the painting materials store, and there will be no more choices in a short time.Ye Yufan didn't pick anything, just opened the sketchbook and began to paint casually, very fast, one after another, the lines flowed out of the pen like running water.

The boy’s eyes are like a moving camera. Wherever the man in front of him goes, his paintbrush will follow there. Bai Changqing is carrying a kettle to boil water, bending over to wash fruit, and making the bed...he paints with the mood Feiyang, nothing makes him feel more fulfilled and happy than painting his lover.

But he got tired soon, the hand holding the pen became weaker and weaker, he was unconscious, and when Bai Changqing found out, he had already closed his eyes!

"...Xiao Chuan?" Bai Changqing, who had just peeled an apple, leaned over nervously, and heard the boy respond in a daze, and said, "Changqing, I'm sleepy..."

They didn't wake up until nine o'clock in the morning, and it's not noon now, so how could they be sleepy?Although it was strange, Bai Changqing didn't say anything, he flattened Ye Yufan's body and covered him with a quilt.

He took out his notebook and flipped through it. After a while, his hands trembled.

That familiar figure and ethereal painting style could only be done by one person... He no longer doubts that this is his Xiaochuan!

But, are you missing me from the past?That young and handsome me who stands by your side is not inferior...

Holding the notebook, the man couldn't help crying.

Tears wet the page, and the lines blurred into a little ink cloud, decorating the clothes of the young man on the screen.

And at this moment, Bai Changqing felt his sleeves being pulled, he turned his head sideways, and saw Ye Yufan who was lying on the bed opened his eyes at some point.

The young man looked at him worriedly, and moved his lips, "Are you okay?" The voice was almost inaudible, but he didn't wait for Bai Changqing's answer, and his eyelids slowly closed again.