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Not in the local area, and have not contacted for a long time.

Divorced family?Ning Xiaoxiao's first reaction was this.

I heard that children with unhealthy families may be influenced by their parents. When they grow up, they tend to feel distrust or anxiety towards their partners. Some people even have a tendency to domestic violence-however you look at it, it’s not so good.

Just when she was worried, Shen Yan suddenly stood up from her seat, which frightened her.The chopsticks accidentally fell out and hit the side of the bowl with a "ding" sound, rolling to Shen Yan's table.

The atmosphere froze for a moment.

Seeing her shrinking back, Shen Yan should have stretched out her hand to pick up the chopsticks, but retracted them instead. She looked afraid that he would suddenly get angry, so she couldn't help being slightly startled, and stood a little awkwardly.

"The chopsticks have fallen." After a long while, he smiled as gently as possible, picked up the pair of chopsticks with very light movements, did not hand them back to her directly, but slowly placed them beside the plate for her.Keeping a suitable distance from beginning to end will not make her feel any threat.

"Ah, thank you..." The imaginary scowl did not appear.Ning Xiaoxiao came back to her senses, and quickly thanked her while smiling apologetically.

"Sorry, I'm going to the bathroom." Shen Yan was still smiling, with a gentle attitude.It's just that these two features appear on a somewhat pale face at the same time, and everyone can see that it is very reluctant, including Qi Yu.

"Shen Yan." Qi Jin's position was against the aisle, and if Shen Yan wanted to go out, he had to stand up and make way.But instead of moving away, he grabbed Shen Yan's wrist and frowned.

"When I put the ingredients, I accidentally splashed the soup on my hands. I'll wash it." Shen Yan had a very reasonable reason.

Qi Jin hesitated for a moment, before finally letting go of his hand slowly, and moved away without saying a word to let him pass.

Shen Yan smiled at him, with a sense of guilt and gratitude, then politely gestured to Ning Xiaoxiao, then left the table and disappeared around the corner of the corridor.

"I seem to have asked something I shouldn't have asked." Ning Xiaoxiao waited for him to walk away, and winked at Qi Chen across the table.

Qi Jin looked at her with a serious expression, without saying a word.

"Brother, don't you think he's a bit strange?" Ning Xiaoxiao whispered.

"Xiao Xiao," Qi Jin interrupted her, and put her right hand on the table in a clenched fist.His tone was unusually cold, "If you continue talking, I'm going to get angry."

She has no idea.Originally, he thought that Shen Yan would never be invited to meet and have dinner together.

Obviously not good at dealing with strangers, but because Ning Xiaoxiao was his relative and friend, Shen Yan hesitated for a while, and finally chose to accept. "It's good to meet your friends, but it's even better if you can integrate into your circle of friends," he said at the time with an optimistic smile on his face.

Ms. Pang, the head nurse in the hospital, once said that people who don't know Shen Yan often think that he is indifferent.

Qi Jin didn't feel that he was indifferent at first, but that he was taciturn.

However, as more and more pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are piled up, the colors on the pattern are getting warmer, getting closer to spring every time.Qi Jin couldn't wait to prove it to others, but he underestimated the resistance in reality.

"He is your boyfriend under review, can I ask more questions for you?" Ning Xiaoxiao was aggrieved.

When Shen Yan answered, although Qi Min didn't express his opinion, she noticed the surprise in his eyes, and she knew it was the first time he had heard of it.After deliberating back and forth, she deeply suspected that Qi Min had been cheated.

"He—" He had already passed the review.

Qi Jin opened his mouth halfway and then closed it, deciding not to say this sentence to her, so as not to cause complications.

"Surely you didn't know his education before?" she asked.

"I don't know, that's because I didn't ask." And don't care.Qi Min frowned, and turned her head slightly.

"You probably don't know anything about his family, do you?"

"I didn't ask these questions in detail."

Ning Xiaoxiao's face was full of worry, and she couldn't help but lower her voice to persuade: "Brother, you don't ask anything, you don't know anything, how much do you really know about this person? Although you used so many good words to describe him before, would you Could it be that the authorities are fascinated by love for a while? I think...he may not be very reliable."

Qi Jin looked at her with cold eyes, motionless: "Tell me, why is he so unreliable?"

Ning Xiaoxiao curled her lips and said, "He can't even pass the undergraduate course, which shows that his level of education is not high. And brother, you graduated from a prestigious university, can you two really get along when you talk?"

What's more, that person doesn't even like to talk very much.

At this time, Qi Jin suddenly sneered: "Famous university? What can a famous university explain? In terms of academic qualifications, wasn't that person my classmate back then? What happened?"

result?There is no result at all, only bitter fruit.

His will, which he thought was like steel, was squeezed and deformed under the huge pressure of reality, and almost broke. Fortunately, he pulled out in time and did not completely collapse.

And when he finally couldn't hold on any longer, he realized that the other party had withdrawn earlier and faster than him.

Of course, he alone can't bear that kind of weight.

"Sorry, so you are serious."

The most hurtful thing is undoubtedly that after I have taken every step carefully, the other party suddenly draws a terminator on the road, drops such a sentence, and then pushes him back to the starting point.It's like pouring a basin of ice-cold water in the twelfth lunar month.

He was obviously frostbitten, but he could only pretend to be chic and walk away with a smile on his face.

These years, he has been unable to convince himself to take another step, until Shen Yan pulled him past the white line at the starting point.

Ning Xiaoxiao remembered it all.

The night Qi Jin confessed his sexuality to her, he also confessed that unbearable relationship, and the two drank together all night to soothe their sorrows.She cried out ten packs of tissues that night, and vomited half her life in her dormitory the next day—it was because of this that when she knew that Qi Jin had found someone she liked again after so many years, she had to be extra cautious and stand up for him everywhere. He checks.

Right now, there is a faint pain between Qi Jin's brows, obviously remembering the past.

Ning Xiaoxiao regretted her slip of the tongue, and quickly comforted him: "Brother, that guy is an exception. To be honest, you and that guy are a good match in every way, but... you were too young at that time to bear the public opinion. Now The environment is much more relaxed than before, maybe, maybe he is now..."

"Now, he already has a wife and son." Qi Jin interrupted in a deep voice, saying every word firmly, "Okay, I don't want to talk about this person, let alone think about getting back together with him. Don't mention him anymore. "

Conversation stalled.

All I could hear was the gurgling of the soup in the hot pot, and the rising water vapor made the feeling of suffocation spread again and again, making it difficult to breathe.

Ning Xiaoxiao lowered her head and twisted her skirt, her mouth was flattened.

Qi Min calmed down a little, and her heart softened when she saw the aggrieved expression on her face.He knew that his sister's intentions were good, so he sighed softly: "I understand your thoughts, you are worrying about this and that for my own good. However, no matter what Shen Yan's education background is, at least he likes and respects his own. Work—this is not what I think alone, but what the actual results tell me.”

Whether it is the process of rescuing the cats before, or the matter of the small return period later.Shen Yan's impeccable medical ethics impressed him.

He is in the news, and there are many negative reports about it, and he has seen too many.

So he knew how rare a person like Shen Yan was.

"Whether it's colleagues or the volunteers of the Animal Rescue Association, they can all testify to this point." With arguments, there must be arguments.Qi Jin's arguments are not just his own.

"Well, even if his education and work are fine, his family background still doesn't seem right." Ning Xiaoxiao was afraid that he would get angry, so she hesitated for a long time, but insisted on expressing her point of view.After all, Qi Yu suffered a loss before, and she hoped that he could be more cautious, "This is not my own nonsense, but it has been proved by many examples. Children with problems between parents may be withdrawn and have abusive tendencies. Yes... You should have heard these examples more or less when you go out for interviews every day, right? Brother, I can see that you like him very much, but you'd better find out and think about it carefully. "

Shen Yan himself seems to have said the same thing—"Think carefully before replying."

He said he would be patient and wait.

Wait until you say yes.

"I don't know what happened to his parents, and I don't know how much he has been affected by it." Qi Jin's fist was slowly released on the table, and she placed it on the position where Shen Yan had just sat, covering the table with her palm. On the top, as if to preserve the temperature that has not completely dissipated, "The only thing I know is...he has always taken care of me and shared the chores of life for me. Moreover, he never forced me."

His voice was hoarse, trembling slightly, and he tried his best to restrain his emotional ups and downs.

Ning Xiaoxiao's face turned pale, and she whispered softly: "Senior brother..."

Qi Jin sighed, probably realizing that he had lost his composure, and shook his head.After all, Junior Sister is a girl, and she needs to go down the stairs. If she speaks too coldly, it will embarrass her.So he calmed down his tone again: "I know you said that for my own good, thank you."

At this moment, Ning Xiaoxiao had the courage to look up at him, although the hand that twisted her skirt still didn't stop.

"Don't worry," Qi Jin smiled faintly, "Before I started again this time, I also experienced a long period of struggle. However, I don't regret making this decision, and I believe in his character."

Ning Xiaoxiao finally stopped her hands and pouted: "Okay, as long as senior brother is happy."

There is one thing she has to admit—at least Qi Jin looks much better now than she did during the car accident.Although she always believed that Qi Jin had better choices and a more decent life, it was useless to say what the bystanders said, and the mood of the person involved was the most important thing.

"Then you obediently eat hot pot, and don't ask people like checking their household registration." Qi Min raised her eyebrows and tapped the side of the pot twice with her chopsticks.Ning Xiaoxiao nodded like pounding garlic.

After persuading the junior sister, Qi Yu glanced in the direction of the bathroom.Shen Yan still didn't come back.

He thought for a moment, then silently took out his mobile phone, imitating the text messages Shen Yan had written to him before, and sent a similar message: [Come back when you think it's ok, I'll wait for you. 】

Shen Yan didn't see the text message because he couldn't hear the notification tone from the text message.

The faucet in front of him had been turned to the maximum, and the sound of splashing water was rapidly washing away his hearing, and his ears were buzzing, and he couldn't tolerate other sounds.

With his eyes closed, he couldn't remember how many times he scooped up water with both hands and splashed it on his face two or three times.

The water seeped into his eyes and caused a stinging pain, and he couldn't open them. He could only feel the water dripping down his face one after another, rolling down from the tip of his nose in a hurry when he lowered his head.He had to wash the negativity off his face with water, let it be swept away by the drainpipe, and sink deep, deep into the ground.

In this way, you can leave a good impression on yourself.

In this way, I can return to my seat and continue the topics just now.

But those few voices in memory refused to stop, refused to let him go, even if he turned up the sound of the water to the maximum, so loud that even the water pipes vibrated slightly, those voices still could not be resisted, stubbornly and cruelly drilled in.

That was probably the first time he heard his father's voice.

Across a door, amidst the heart-piercing cries of the woman outside the door, an angry voice rang out: "You shouldn't have given birth to him in the first place!"

The woman's crying gradually turned into laughter, stern and desolate: "Yes! I regret it, I really regret giving birth to him!"

At that time, he was sitting alone in the room, silently holding a pencil to do his homework.

No matter what kind of voice came from outside the door, whether it was scolding, crying, or breaking things, he just lowered his head and wanted to finish the exercises assigned by the teacher wholeheartedly, then got into bed, covered his ears, Get some sleep.Just stay up until the next morning to go to school and get away from those sounds.

You don't have to be someone's "shouldn't", and you don't have to be someone's "regret".

But the exercises can't be finished no matter how they are written.

It's not because he doesn't know how to solve it, but because every time he writes the answer, something will wet the pencil's handwriting, and one drop or two will become a paste, and he can't see clearly.Can only do it over and over again.

Then the woman rushed in, dragged him up from the chair, and said sharply, "Let's go! Let's go!"

He was still desperately trying to continue until that moment, the action was too forceful, the tip of the pencil pierced the paper, and he was pulled back violently, the tip of the pen scratched the workbook with a "crack", and rolled to the ground together with the eraser and ruler ground.

He still failed to hand in the homework that time.

The homework was not handed in, and he never even went to that school again, and followed the woman back to the small town where he was born.

There were people in the town who he should have called his grandparents, and some relatives he had never met.The eyes those people looked at him were the same as those women looked at him in the rental house back then, and he knew the meaning of this look, so he closed his mouth and sat quietly in the corner without making any sound.

The houses in the town are connected to each other, and the backyards of two families are often only separated by a low wall or a clump of hedges.

During the period when he stayed at his grandparents' house temporarily, he didn't go to school. He would move a stool to read under the wall alone, and sometimes he would meet a cat in the neighbor's house.

The cat was an old cat, senile, with a heavy sagging belly, and the color of its fur had faded.It occasionally walks up and down the wall, and even climbs down the wall to bask lazily on the floor.At that time, he would sit still and watch, afraid that the cat would run away if he moved.

But the cat didn't run away, and would take the initiative to come over and rub his feet after a long time.

"Meow meow meow……"

Even talking to him like this, and he would talk back, both of them couldn't understand what they were talking about, but they were able to maintain it.Unlike those who live in the house, can get along very naturally.

"My name is Shen Yan." He said softly.

"Meow."

"My mom is getting married soon," he told it of the conversations his grandparents had heard through the wall, three months after he'd been here.A divorced woman has a successful blind date. The other party doesn't mind her having an ex-husband, but she doesn't want her ex-husband's children.

"Meow." The old cat couldn't understand what he said, it just raised its head and scratched it with its paws.

"They said that they want to send me to my father... As for whether to take it or not, it's his business." He repeated what he heard dully, and finally smiled at the old cat, "I may not see you in the future is you."

"Meow." The old cat bent down and stuck to the floor.And he gently stroked the fur on its back with his hands.

On the day a woman gets married, the house is empty.

Everyone went out to watch the ceremony, but he stayed in the backyard alone, and also spent the whole day face to face with the cat.

When he was hungry, he went to the refrigerator to find the leftovers, heated them in the microwave, and ate them slowly under the wall with a bowl, and gave some to the cat.

"Your mother is married."

"We're taking you to your father's place."

Grandpa and grandma said these words to him in person after the wedding.Although he already knew it.

They packed the few things he had in a duffel bag, put him on a bus back to the city, told the driver that someone would pick him up at the stop, turned around and left without even looking .

He spent hours in the car without saying a word, returning to the city he had left for months.When he arrived at the terminal, the passengers on the bus had already got off one after another, and the entire carriage was empty, so he walked down slowly, dragged the bag out of the shelf with difficulty, and stared at the bustling station in a daze.

He didn't know where he was going.

Surrounded by strangers, unfamiliar scenery, and messy words and sentences twittering and twittering in my ears, bringing a sense of dizziness.

Maybe it's because I didn't eat anything on the road and I felt dizzy.

But he didn't have much money on him, and he didn't know how long he could last after spending it.Focusing on saving money, he dared not buy food at the station, so he could only sit in the waiting hall for two hours with his luggage drowsily in his arms.

Then he realized that maybe he waited another three hours, four hours, five hours or more, and no one would come.

Because...he is Shen Yan.

"Shen Yan."

While he was thinking this way, someone called out his name.

Not the man he should call father, but an old man.

The old man walked out slowly from the gray crowd, and everything around him seemed to have a bit of color, which jumped slightly in his eyes.He trembled, straightened up unconsciously, and the old man still smiled kindly: "You are Shen Yan, right? You look very similar to your father when he was a child."

He clutched the shoulder strap of the luggage bag tightly, didn't speak for a while, just nodded his head.

The old man let out a long sigh: "Your father can't come."

He still nodded.This was to be expected, since the man had said that he should not have been born, and certainly should not have been accepted.

The old man bent down slowly in front of him, touched his head, and his smile became a bit bitter: "But you can follow me—Shen Yan, I am your grandfather."

The voice in my head didn't suddenly calm down until this moment, and was gradually covered by the intense sound of running water, returning to reality.

"call……"

Shen Yan gasped in a low voice, frowned, gently wiped off the water droplets on his face with both hands, and finally got a moment of relief.He turned off the faucet, the sound of water stopped abruptly, and all the sounds in the bathroom became silent.

"Thank you, Grandpa," he said hoarsely.

Thank you, grandpa, for pulling myself back from the past to the present.

Because life can only move forward and not backward.In front of him are the people he is destined to meet and the feelings he is destined to give.

Shen Yan raised his head, his face in the glass mirror was pale, but his eyes had regained his composure, he wiped his face dry, packed up and went out.While looking for paper towels to dry up the water stains, he took out his mobile phone to check the time, only to find that Qi Jin had sent a text message before, and he quickly opened it to read it.

——Come back when you think it’s ok, I’ll wait for you.

When Shen Yan saw the last three words, his heart warmed up, and his lips curved upwards involuntarily.

Can't make him wait too long.

Shen Yan hurriedly wiped her face dry, straightened her collar and sleeves, and left the bathroom.When returning to the table, Ning Xiaoxiao saw him before Qi Yu, and she was taken aback, but she was not as cautious as before he left, and was able to greet him more normally.

It seems that during his absence, Qi Min should have said something to her.

"It's so slow, I've eaten up your portion." Qi Min turned his head slightly, met his gaze, and showed no difference in attitude from usual, and just mentioned the fact that he left halfway.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting." Shen Yan put his hand on his shoulder and apologized in a low voice.

Qi Jin's gaze stayed on his face for a long time, as if looking for something to confirm.Shen Yan looked back at each other silently, without any dodge.After reading it, Qi Jin suddenly laughed twice, reached out and patted the back of his hand lightly, as if to comfort him: "I'm lying to you, hurry up and eat."

Shen Yan responded naturally: "Yes."

The hand on Qi Jin's shoulder did not let go for a long time, and after Qi Jin patted the back of his hand, he also left his palm there and held it firmly.