undercover dad

After Sun Haiyang yelled these words, the room fell into silence again, but listen carefully, the silence was also mixed with Sun Haiyang's irritable gasp, He Xiaonian's comfortable gasp after vomiting, and Xiaobao's breath. A little snort of none of my business.

The two of them stood in the small voices and were stunned for a while. They glanced at each other, and suddenly reacted. They scrambled out of the room and rushed to the bathroom.

Sun Haiyang felt that he could no longer take the clothes on his body. Although the filth that Xiaobao spit out could not be said to be pleasant, but after all, the soup, water, medicine and medicine looked refreshing. What He Xiaonian spit out was all fucking Something, yellow, green, green, red, not to mention smelling it, just glanced down, and I couldn't help but want to vomit.

You should lock the girl in the firewood room, starve for a week, and cleanse the intestines.

He Xiaonian also rushed to the toilet in a hurry, spit twice is not enough, at least half of it is not finished!

The two rushed into the bathroom one after another, He Xiaonian rushed to the toilet, hugged the toilet and began to vomit.Sun Haiyang rushed to the pool, took off his shirt carefully, fearing that the red, yellow and green things would rub against his head, then turned on the faucet and rinsed desperately.

This black crew-neck shirt is one of his favorite tops. It is not easy for him to buy loose clothes that can make him feel hip-hop after wearing them, but this one is one of the few fat ones. It is just right to wear it when you are playing handsome and dancing.

In the end, He Xiaonian made it dirty like this. He was reluctant to throw it away. He continued to wear it without throwing it away. Even after washing it, he still felt disgusting...

Sun Haiyang held back his stomach full of anger, scrubbed the clothes in his hands vigorously, and glanced back at the toilet while turning his head.

He Xiaonian was getting up from the ground unsteadily, he turned his head, and happened to meet Sun Haiyang's eyes.

He had just vomited, Jiu Jin lowered his head, his face was pale and creepy under the LED light in the bathroom, and seeing Sun Haiyang looking at him, he frowned.

"Let me tell you something," he turned and pointed to the edge of the toilet, "When you pee in the future, be careful, don't keep going to the edge of the toilet."

Sun Haiyang followed his hand and looked around the edge of the toilet. His eyes were good, but he didn't find anything unclean on the edge of the toilet.... Uh, okay, there is a yellow mark the size of a fingernail stains.

He felt even more angry, and squinted his eyes at He Xiaonian, "Brother, the three of us are all gangsters, how dare you be sure that the fuck is me, why can't it be you, why can't it be the little girl?" Baby pissed?"

"Impossible," He Xiaonian frowned even tighter, "I pay special attention to urinating, Xiaobao's urine is not so yellow!"

Sun Haiyang was pouted, and he felt that He Xiaonian's reason was very good, he really couldn't refute it.

He turned his head away, stopped talking, and rubbed the clothes in his hands even more desperately to see if he could tear the clothes. He suffered a work-related injury and asked He Xiaonian to reimburse him.

After rubbing, he twisted the clothes into balls, put them on the edge of the sink, bent over and began to take off his pants.

"What are you doing?" He Xiaonian stared at him in surprise from behind him. He had been standing by the side patiently, waiting for Sun Haiyang to finish washing his clothes so that he could brush his teeth and wash his face. To start washing the pants, the key is that I didn't spit on his pants! !

"Why not, take a shower!" Sun Haiyang had already stripped off his trousers and was wearing bullet-tipped shorts, raising his eyebrows at He Xiaonian.

"No, you take a shower... You can't take it off until I'm out!" He Xiaonian still couldn't understand, he suddenly remembered something, and frowned at Sun Haiyang.

It's not like, this kid is obviously not the same as Adam and Xiao Ding, who look like a sissy at first glance, "You, are you... GAY?"

"Gay, uncle! Your grandpa is so straight I can't be straighter! You can't find a man even if you look for a sow!" Sun Haiyang yelled inexplicably.

"How do you talk? Who are you grandpa?! You're talking to Xiaobao's peers, and seriously you have to call me Uncle!" He Xiaonian was very upset.

"I call you uncle!" Sun Haiyang yelled again.

"Oh, that's fine!"

"Damn it! You..." Sun Haiyang stared at He Xiaonian speechlessly, and He Xiaonian also looked at him provocatively. After watching for a while, both of them couldn't help but burst out laughing at the same time.

"Fuck, talking about cross talk!" Sun Haiyang muttered with a smile, and threw the pants in his hand onto the washing machine, "What's the matter, why don't you wash them first, and I'll wash them later?"

He Xiaonian waved his hand at him, "Forget it, let's wash it." He glanced up and down at Sun Haiyang, who was only wearing a small trousers top, "Take off your clothes in such a hurry! If you don't let you take off quickly, it's disgusting for me. It's time to act!"

Sun Haiyang was overjoyed, he collapsed, with an evil smile hanging from the corner of his mouth, his hands hung on the edge of his trousers, his waist and hip joints nimbly pushed He Xiaonian's hips twice.

"You!..." He Xiaonian didn't know whether he should be angry or laugh, he stared at Sun Haiyang speechlessly for a long time, and finally gave him a thumbs up helplessly, "That's cheap, enough rascal!"

After all, he picked up his tooth bowl and towel and went to the kitchen to wash up.

……

Sun Haiyang washed himself clean and ran back to the bedroom.

There was still an inexplicable smell in the bedroom, and he quickly picked up Xiaobao's talcum powder from the chest of drawers, grabbed a handful and sprinkled it into the air.

The powder of talcum powder flew all over him, and he was wrapped in a ball of powder, choking and sneezing several times.

Little Treasure slowly opened his eyes amidst his sneezing, and stared at him mistyly: "Brother Haiyang!"

After Xiaobao got sick, his voice was like a kitten's, timidly and softly, completely devoid of the usual arrogance and devilishness of the king of monsters!

Sun Haiyang's heart softened when he heard that, he quickly threw the powder off his body, and lay down next to Xiaobao, "Hey, brother is here, brother is here, Xiaobao, don't be afraid!"

He leaned over, hugged Xiao Bao who was rolled into a small glutinous rice dumpling, and turned off the bedside lamp.

The room was pitch black, and Xiao Bao nestled in his arms for a while, feeling a little suffocated, he vomited and fell asleep, his body was sweating at the moment, and he didn't like the heat from Brother Haiyang's body.

He broke free from Sun Haiyang's arms, rolled to the side, and said with his back to Sun Haiyang, "Brother, pinch my spine!"

Sun Haiyang was actually a little exhausted at the moment, he sighed for a long time while looking at Xiaobao's back speechlessly, sat up, and began to pinch Xiaobao's chiropractic.

"One, two, three, pinch, four, five, six, pinch..." While pinching, he kept yawning, and after a while, hearing that Xiao Bao hadn't moved, he fell down on the bed with confidence .

Just when he was about to go to sleep, Xiao Bao's little hand slapped over, hitting his left eye.

"Damn..." Little Treasure's strength was not small, this slap almost made Sun Haiyang jump up from the bed, he curled up covering his face, and rolled twice on the bed.

"Brother, stroke my fingers!" Xiaobao's thin voice sounded in the darkness.

Really served!

Who the hell did you learn this from? There are so many things, so hypocritical!

When I saw He Xiaobao for the first time, I didn't think such a cute child was He Xiaonian's own nephew, but now I feel that this must be He Xiaonian's own son!Can do it like his uncle.

Helpless, if he didn't push the little devil to sleep, he wouldn't even want to sleep, so Sun Haiyang could only doze off against the pile of little stars above his left eye and rub his fingers for Little Treasure.

As he stroked and stroked, he was so sleepy that he couldn't open his eyes, and when he was about to fall asleep, He Xiaobao's little feet suddenly kicked his cheeks with a "slap", and then directly slammed his toes into his mouth, "Brother , Pamper scratches his feet, Pampers scratches his feet!"

Sun Haiyang clutched his cheeks, all drowsiness was wiped away by this midnight kick.

He stuffed a chubby toe in his mouth, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes:

Scratch your feet, scratch your feet, what's the matter with you stuffing your feet in my mouth!Do you want me to scratch, or do you want me to chew!

This errand is so damn impossible to do, it's making life impossible! ! !

……

The next day, Xiaobao got up very early.He vomited completely in his stomach, and woke up hungry at five o'clock.

After waking up, he began to torture Sun Haiyang in various ways,

"Brother, get up quickly, Bao wants to drink water!"

"Brother, Bao is hungry, Bao wants to eat!"

"Brother, let me sing a song for you, bravely, vigorously, across the Yalu River... to protect peace, to defend the motherland, to protect the hometown..."

But Sun Haiyang is too sleepy today, such a magical singing voice can't shake his unyielding belief, until...

"Brother, Bao wants to fart!"

Sun Haiyang closed his eyes tightly, unmoved, and farted as long as he farted, as long as you don't shit and pee on my head, you can never wake me up!

He folded his hands on his chest, motionless and continued to stare.He felt that Xiaobao seemed to be tired of being around him for a while, and then Gu Guyong moved his body for some reason, and then he was awakened by the oppressive feeling of a large piece of heat that suddenly appeared on the top of his head up.

He opened his eyes and saw a small white butt squatting on his face.

When he was in a trance and couldn't figure out the situation, a loud "poor" leaked out from the little butt above his face.

The so-called: Loud farts don't stink, stinky farts don't sound loud.But this sentence obviously doesn't apply to He Xiaobao.

Xiaobao's fart not only has a nine-song sound, which is very standard, but also... stinks!

Sun Haiyang reacted, widened his eyes, opened his mouth wide, and stared at the little butt above his eyes in shock, so this fart, fat and smelly, floated into his mouth...

……

He Xiaonian probably had a drink last night and vomited out all the discomfort in his stomach, so he slept very soundly this night, and slept until almost nine o'clock.

When he got up and walked out of the bedroom, he saw He Xiaobao slumping softly on the sofa, staring blankly at the black screen of the opposite TV, with a dazed expression of "who am I and where do I come from".

He walked over to hug Xiaobao, put his cheek against him, and then held Xiaobao's little face to look left and right. Xiaobao was fine, but his spirit was a little listless. He looked distressed: "Tsk tsk, Xiaobao, just this night, look at you, you've lost weight from the burn!"

Sun Haiyang was bringing out a bowl of millet porridge from the kitchen, intending to feed it to Xiaobao. The child’s appetite was amazing after waking up. He had already drank three bowls of porridge. He had just recovered from his illness, and he didn’t dare to give him anything else Sun Haiyang had no choice but to feed him porridge bowl after bowl.

Hearing He Xiaonian's words, Sun Haiyang's hand holding the porridge bowl trembled!

Brother, can you take a look back?At best, Xiaobao was depressed. After this night, I was the one who really lost weight! !

Probably hearing his call from the heart, He Xiaonian turned his head in the next second.

He got up and walked over, looked down at the porridge in the bowl, nodded in satisfaction, and then said: "Haiyang, today you can give him clear porridge or cook some hot noodle soup, put less oil, eggs Ah, stop everything, let alone meat!"

After thinking about it, he told him: "These two days, uh...you don't want to eat big fish and meat, lest he see it and ask you for it!"

Sun Haiyang slowly put the bowl in his hand on the coffee table, sat next to Xiaobao, leaned against the back of the sofa, and did not speak.

He felt that his whole body was shaking, and he didn't know whether it was because Xiao Bao tortured him all night last night, or because he was about to start a vegetarian diet, or because He Xiaonian got mad at him, his heartbeat started to be abnormal!

When He Xiaonian was about to leave the house, he still didn't forget to tell him: "I didn't wash the clothes I threw up yesterday, so help me wash them today when I have time!"

Sun Haiyang watched He Xiaonian's handsome back disappear by the door, and his anger couldn't be relieved at all. He could feel his upper and lower teeth fighting all the time:

What does this family still think of me? !What on earth does he, He Xiaonian, want from me? !

A home makeover in ten seconds?

Chiseling square tiles into round ones?

Move the building five centimeters to the left? ...

The author has something to say:

This Saturday and Sunday, really, there is no most tiring, only more tiring!It's better to go to work!