he has a clean freak

It was late at night, the lights in the room were always on, and the doors and windows were locked.

Outside the window and in the darkness downstairs, it seemed that something terrible would break in and hurt him at any time during his sleep.

He couldn't sleep well, and his dreams were full of nightmares.

He began to have some familiar dreams, which were scenes he had experienced in the past, such as being pressed against the abdomen with a knife, being held by his hands from behind, being hit on the head with various things, and he also dreamed of being pressed , He hid, he ran, his body was extremely heavy, he fled with all his strength, and ran at full speed, unexpectedly walking slower than usual.He was weak and anxious, struggling and waking up.

Repeated this several times at night, the sleep quality was not good, and the result was sleepy, and I slept until twelve o'clock at noon.

It's been a long time since he went to run an announcement, and Chen Xing didn't arrange for him. There is only a variety show in September that will be recorded with Li Minghui, Yan Wangxiao and the others.Calculating the time, it is... next Wednesday.He has no desire to speak recently, because when he speaks, he is listless, as if his kidneys have been hollowed out.He didn't return the phone calls from Chen Xing and other friends, and repeatedly replied "An Hao" in WeChat text messages.

In the afternoon, he sat cross-legged on the bed, listening to music from the speakers.

Half an hour later, the disc stopped playing. He sighed and got up to change the disc.

Originally, he wanted to listen to music for some comfort, but he didn't expect it to become the background music for his daze.

There was a faint knock on the door.

He used the remote control to turn down the volume, and the sound of knocking on the door was heard clearly accompanied by Yan Wangxiao's voice.He got out of bed to open the door, and outside the door stood a well-dressed Yan Wangxiao, his beard was clean and fresh, his eyes were not so cold, and he didn't avoid him, looking directly at him and smiling.

Liang Songying was stunned by that smile, "What's the matter?"

Yan Wangxiao put his tone light and soft, "It's sunny outside, let's go for a walk."

Liang Songying stared at him for a while and said, "Okay, wait for me and change clothes."

Yan Wangxiao followed him in and sat by the bed to watch him change his clothes.

Liang Songying's skinny upper body was naked, which was morbidly pale and bony.He turned to face Yan Wangxiao, looked into his eyes, with a mocking smile on the corner of his mouth.Seeing Yan Wangxiao's expression remained the same and his eyes fixed, Liang Songying suddenly couldn't figure out what Yan Wangxiao was thinking at this time.

But he thought of a mischief.

He walked over and put his hand on Yan Wangxiao's face.

Yan Wangxiao's pupils shrank suddenly, and he didn't hide, but his eyelids drooped, and he stopped looking at Liang Songying.

Liang Songying caressed his face with his hands as if joking, until his body began to shake, and his hands were clenched tightly in his thighs until his bones turned white.

"Let's go."

Passing the living room, Liang Songying glanced at the coffee table and found that the wine bottle glass shards on the table had been cleaned up.

They walked out the door one after the other.

It's really sunny outside, the autumn air is crisp, but the sun is shining brightly but it doesn't make people feel hot, and the light falls on the body warmly.

They walked side by side down the slope, not shoulder to shoulder, half an arm's apart.

Yan Wangxiao remained silent, staring at the sunlight and dust in the air.

"You think I'm dirty, don't you?" Liang Songying asked suddenly.

Yan Wangxiao's eyes narrowed, and he stopped.

Liang Songying turned around and saw Yan Wangxiao clenched his hands into fists on both sides, his head was slightly lowered, and his eyes were fixed on the ground.He didn't mistake the pain that appeared in his eyes, which gradually appeared, and a line was folded at the corner of the eye.Yan Wangxiao felt very uncomfortable, Liang Songying realized this, and his defenses suddenly collapsed, and the pain that was exposed resonated with Yan Wangxiao.

"Wang Xiao, do you still love me?" Liang Songying asked hesitantly.

Yan Wangxiao raised his head and said, "I don't know. I miss you, and I still miss you. I feel uncontrollably sad that you want to drive me away. I know I still want to be with you, and I don't want to separate, but..." He After a pause, he raised his head slightly to look at the sky, took a deep breath, and almost gritted his teeth, "But I can't forget that scene, what you looked like in that room."

Can't you just forget, like nothing happened?Liang Songying really wanted to ask him that.The victim has tried every means to get out of that incident, try to forget it, and start a new life. Why do you, an outsider, insist on obsessing over it, reminding him of how he was treated and how dirty his body was touched by someone?

There are such strange things in the world.

As if he, the victim, didn't mind that at all, and the thought of it didn't cause any emotional fluctuations in his mind.

But he knew that Yan Wangxiao was honest enough.

At least, he still knows to come here.

Liang Songying knew that he was making excuses for Yan Wangxiao, but he was very tired and wanted to find someone to rely on. He couldn't think of anyone except Yan Wangxiao.

Although he was disappointed, Yan Wangxiao has his faults, it's not that he doesn't care about him, he doesn't love him anymore, otherwise, what's the matter with the pain in his eyes?Liang Songying thought about it, forced herself to be more cheerful, and felt ridiculous when she said: "Sunshine can sterilize, do you think so?"

"En." Yan Wangxiao hesitated for a moment, then looked at him worriedly and said.

Liang Songying raised her eyebrows.

Yan Wangxiao walked over, looked down at his bandaged hand, then stretched out his own hand, put his five fingers into the other one that was intact, grasped it vaguely, and clasped it firmly.He stared at Liang Songying's face, and looked at him deeply, "Songying, let's try again, there is always a way, we will forget."

Regardless of the hot weather, he held his hand and Liang Songying's and put it in his pocket, "Don't drive me away, I'll treat you well in the future, don't be angry, okay?"

Liang Songying looked back at him and nodded, "Yes." He held his fingers back to convey some strength, looked at the man who was too close to hug him, and said with a depressed expression: "Let's take our time, I'll wait You, accept me again."

Yan Wangxiao nodded.His eyes were still deep, but a little brighter and firmer.It's just that Liang Songying's expression has been depressed, and the sun can't be seen in those eyes.

They held hands as they walked back.

At night, they cook and eat together in the villa, and rest on the sofa after dinner, with Liang Songying's head resting on Yan Wangxiao's lap, lying down and watching a movie.Yan Wangxiao's fingers ran through his hair, stroking gently one by one, like the most gentle lover.

Yan Wangxiao wanted to give him a bath, but he didn't refuse, and he couldn't get his hands wet.Sitting in the bathtub filled with hot water, he let Yan Wangxiao rub generous amounts of shower gel on his body, and carefully scrubbed every inch of his skin with a towel, not sparing every spot, especially the washing was serious and long-lasting.

He was touched hard, and he glanced at Yan Wangxiao, but found that he was listless, so he had to endure it.After Yan Wangxiao rinsed off all the shampoo and body wash, he wanted to solve his physical problems, but he couldn't move his fingers, so he could only look at Yan Wangxiao and wink as a hint.

Yan Wangxiao took out a few items for enema from the basket and put on gloves.

Seeing his posture, Liang Songying was a little confused and felt uncomfortable.He pushed him away, "Don't do this."

Yan Wangxiao kissed his bare shoulder, "It's nothing, we've done this before." He said, lifting one of his legs.Liang Songying turned her head away in embarrassment, her chest felt inexplicably congested.

He didn't say a word during the whole process.Yan Wangxiao comforted him from time to time, washing him with water and medicine repeatedly.

Finally, Yan Wangxiao wiped him dry with a dry towel, and said with a rare smile, "It's clean."

Liang Songying also laughed, but felt a little bitter, "Wang Xiao, can you give me a hug?"

"Ah."

Yan Wangxiao opened his arms to take him into his arms, hugged him tightly, and excitedly kissed his neck, collarbone, and shoulders from time to time.

Liang Songying pushed him away and looked down, Yan Wangxiao was still depressed, which made him very confused.

Yan Wangxiao frowned and helped him out with his hands.

Weird, so weird.

Before going to bed, Liang Songying kept thinking about Yan Wangxiao's inability to get an erection in front of him.

Logically, it should be because he has encountered that kind of thing that he has sexual obstacles, not Yan Wangxiao.What's even more strange is that Yan Wangxiao seemed to have no problem with this, as if it was a matter of course.

At night, Liang Songying refused to let Yan Wangxiao turn off the lights.

In the bright light, they lay down next to each other, Liang Songying turned sideways, stretched out his hand, and hugged Yan Wangxiao.He felt Yan Wangxiao's body stiffen, and then he responded to his hug and said, "Take your time a little bit, don't worry, okay?"

Liang Songying: "Okay."

Then he let go of Yan Wangxiao, lay on his back, put his hands on his stomach neatly, "Go to sleep, good night."

"Good night." Yan Wangxiao smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

Liang Songying seemed to fall asleep quickly.

Yan Wangxiao was disturbed by the bright lights, he listened to Liang Songying's breathing, guessed that he was probably asleep, got up and turned off the lights in the room, leaving only a small wall lamp, and turned the light to almost the lowest.He went back to bed, relaxed his nerves soon, and slept peacefully for the first time in so many days.

It's just that he didn't sleep for long when he was awakened by the sound.

As soon as he opened his eyes, he received accusations from Liang Songying: "Why did you turn off the light?" In the re-brightened light, Liang Songying was wearing a thin coat, kneeling and sitting beside the bed with an unhappy expression.

"What's wrong?" He felt puzzled, "The light is too bright, I can't sleep. When did you have the problem of turning on the light when you sleep?" He sat up and looked at him.

Liang Songying was immersed in the aftertaste of the nightmare, "After that incident, they kept covering my eyes with a dark cloth, I was afraid, I..."

Yan Wangxiao hugged him suddenly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Liang Songying put her forehead on his shoulder and said wearily, "Don't turn off the lights, please?"

"Well, okay, don't close it." Yan Wangxiao promised.

When he woke up the next day, Yan Wangxiao went out with his eyes darkened, and he was depressed all day long.Liang Songying noticed his state, and after a few days, she proposed to sleep in a separate room.Yan Wangxiao was reluctant at first, but couldn't bear the fact that she was too sleepy. One night, while Liang Songying was still sound asleep, she quietly went to the next room to sleep.Liang Songying woke up in the middle of the night, felt that the next room was empty and cool, got up and went to the next room to find Yan Wangxiao, and then went back to sleep.

Since then, even after a long time, they have not slept together.

It was also since that bath together that Liang Songying discovered that Yan Wangxiao hadn't had that desire for a long time.