Gu Zhen's wealthy life

How could Gu Shen be unwilling?

She was working hard to play this role well, but the more she understood the meaning behind this role, the more determined she was to play this girl well.

She doesn't know enough about some things, and that's okay, she will try to understand them one by one.As the female screenwriter said, she saw it all-she couldn't turn a blind eye.

And acting is her job.

At the beginning, she just wanted to play different people and enjoy different lives.She would want to act in "Guilty Verdict" only because Gu Zhen wanted her to act, and the story and characters were touching.

But when reading the script, she also discovered her own shortcomings - she really knows too little about different characters.Her world is too narrow and the circle of contact is too limited, which makes her feel a little at a loss and weak when she plays characters who do not have "Gu Shen characteristics".

In the final analysis, in the two current dramas, the two roles of Su Ping and Lin Lang, Gu Shen is just playing himself, or his ideal and recognized image.

But... how can this be called "experience a different life"?

It's not too late to understand this now, because she is still young and everything has just started, Gu Shen still has enough time to learn and understand.

The female screenwriter showed her a way. After that, Gu Shen actively searched for related works and watched related forums recommended by female screenwriters.The screenwriter told her very seriously: "The Internet is a wonderful place, where it is easier for people to express their inner hearts and reveal their true thoughts to strangers. They will infinitely indulge and magnify their human characteristics-including good The good and bad parts. Be honest about your thoughts and desires, your unwillingness and malice... The more fluid and anonymous the forum, the less wary people are, and the more you can show your sincerity. Here you can often Seeing all kinds of different people, different ideas, different personalities.”

"There are only two things you need to pay attention to: first, what is shown on the Internet is only true thoughts, not true feelings. Second, learn to distinguish between fantasy and lies."

"It's not easy, but it's useful."

Gu Shen listened to the female screenwriter's words and began to spend a lot of time wandering between forums and forums.The more she wandered, the more she found that the thoughts of many people in this world were all kinds of strange - it was like a world that refracted countless thought fragments and was infinitely magnified by the dimensional wall.

The truth is exaggerated and distorted to the point of absurdity, but the truth is often revealed unconsciously in the lies.

The female screenwriter said: "If everyone is made up of thousands of fragments, then every piece of language you capture on the forum about money, morality and emotion is a part of the speaker's own personality. And it is the essence that constitutes their personality. It occupies a very small proportion, and you cannot see the whole picture of a person from this small fragment, but it is the refraction of the concept of the real social subject."

"To understand it is to understand a kind of thought, a kind of human nature. You don't need to identify with it, you just need to understand the soil where it was born and the direction it points to."

"I acquiesce, Gu Shen, that you are someone who can think in the shoes of others, and of course I am too. Because you are an actor and I am an author, we must first understand others before we can express a character, or many different characters in our own way. But to understand others, we must first understand that there are some people in this world who cannot substitute for others.”

"A person can never understand things beyond their own cognition, and some people are more narrow, they can't understand things that they have not experienced. So when I open a forum, I will first analyze which remarks are rational , Which speeches are emotional, which speeches are speeches under the joint action of reason and sensibility, and which speeches are completely divorced from rationality and sensibility at the same time, and exist only for venting."

"A person's speech is always closely related to his own personality, experience, preferences, and ideas. They can't make a reaction that goes against their own ideas. Even if they deliberately cover up, they often expose their true thoughts because of the deepening of the debate. For example, in "Guilty In Judgment, Cao Xue made the last anonymous call for help before committing suicide. Everyone’s reaction is a confirmation of this situation—any sentence in these messages is not the reason why Cao Xue finally chose to commit suicide. And the social attitudes they reflect are the source of Cao Xue's pressure and the reasons that prompted her decision to give up her life."

Gu Shen has also read a lot of related posts and news during this period, so he has a relatively in-depth and intuitive understanding of what the female screenwriter said at this time, and he understands the helplessness in it more and more.

After a while, she started to have direct contact with some of Gu Zhen's earlier patients, and her understanding of this aspect became deeper.Among the five female patients she came into contact with, the main causes of the disease can be classified into several aspects: divorced families, domestic violence, sexual assault and juvenile psychological trauma... and all five of them have encountered and felt the impact of gender. discrimination and abuse.

--all.

In addition, the psychiatrist of the Institute also popularized some other common sense to her, letting her know that in the statistical records, women are twice as likely to suffer from depression as men, and most of them have experienced depression. Childhood trauma.It's hard to say whether the odds are influenced by biological differences, social attitudes, or both.

But for Gu Shen, this statistic is shocking enough.

And these girls who have suffered from depression are not as gloomy and negative as Gu Shen expected.On the contrary, when they talked about their experiences with Gu Shen, their attitudes were gentle, and they had deep feelings for their relatives and friends, and they were not as extreme or loveless as Gu Shen thought.

Gu Zhen answered her doubts.

"There is no complete and systematic summary of the specific causes of depression, but in general, people at high risk of depression are those with delicate and sensitive thoughts and heavy psychological burden. That is to say, they have a heavy sense of social responsibility and want to express themselves. Desire for value... As far as the present is concerned, most people with depression have a tendency to blame themselves, thinking that their own existence is worthless, or have a sense of guilt towards their relatives and friends, thinking that 'it would be better for everyone if they died'. Many patients This kind of thinking is not out of hatred or misanthropy, but a way to seek self-extrication."

"That is... out of love?" Gu Shen looked at Gu Zhen with red eyes and asked with some uncertainty.

Gu Zhen nodded and gave her a firm answer: "Yes."

"But, it's ridiculous." Gu Shen said with a slightly excited tone, "If you value your dearest relatives very much, why would you think that the other party's life will be easier if you die?"

"It's normal for you to not understand deeply." Gu Zhen replied, "Many times, the pressure of depression patients also comes from family and friends. In terms of study, work, or love, many times, parents and family members will hurt others because of impulse. , but because depression patients have so much on their minds, they will engrave words that deny their existence value and ask themselves repeatedly. In this case, the importance of their loved ones will instead become their psychological burden.”

Gu Shen listened, thought for a while, recalled the details of the script, and somehow understood it.

Cao Xue has always been in a state of self-blame because of her parents’ divorce. Her mother often inadvertently expressed the meaning of complaining that she is not a boy, and this concept has taken root in Cao Xue’s mind since she was a child. Her own mistakes, but every time she felt the disappointment and resentment of her mother, she felt very painful.

But at the same time, she loves her mother very much.Her father is a scumbag, and although her mother favors sons over daughters, when she divorced, she still ignored the objections of her parents and brothers and asked for custody of her daughter.A mother shoulders a heavy workload, and a woman alone supports the sky of a family and the entire future of her daughter.She didn't remarry, maybe because she didn't trust men, maybe because she wanted to take better care of her daughter.Under such circumstances, Cao Xue, who saw her mother's hardships, felt her mother's hardships even though she often suffered unreasonable blame, and loved her deeply.

When she was 12 years old, she was abused by the son of her mother's boss because of her mother's negligence.At that time, she was ignorant and had serious fear in her heart, but she didn't realize the real horror of this matter.

At the age of 20, she graduated from a junior college and was afraid of the society and the outside world, and her work was messed up because of mental depression.She has no lovers because of a severe fear of men.She tried to pull herself together, to make her mother happy, but she just couldn't.

Her mother’s accusations and demands have always made her feel painful, and every time she was accused of being “useless”, “worthless”, or “I don’t even have a boyfriend, if you continue like this, I’ll be a shame in the neighborhood”, Cao Xue will have deep pain and self-blame.

She begged her mother over and over again to stop talking, but her mother couldn't understand her pain, but only thought it was a kind of rebellion.

Her depression worsened and she was finally diagnosed.

But the mother couldn't accept that her daughter was mentally ill anyway, so she didn't allow Cao Xue to receive treatment.She thought it would be a shame if her daughter was mentally ill, and she insisted that Cao Xue would definitely get better on her own.

The mother thought that if her daughter had a reputation of being mentally ill, it would be difficult to find a good partner.But for Cao Xue, this is an unavoidable accusation.

... She has always been just a burden, a shame.Her existence has always made my mother feel painful.