This must not be written by me

Chapter 170 IX The Human Realm of the Secret Realm ([-])

After Lin Chenchu ​​settled all the matters, he kept on driving day and night. He wanted to fly back to Lingguo as quickly as possible.With Zhong Panji's temper, it's hard to guarantee that he won't cause any outrage. Although I believe that he can solve everything by himself, but—isn't it a pity that Lin Chenchu ​​didn't watch such a good show? ?

Sure enough, when he arrived in the territory of Ling country, he saw a tall building that appeared at an unknown time was rising from the ground.According to rumors, the emperor had a dream two days ago that a group of immortals would descend from the sky five days later, so he decided to build a building for picking up stars to receive the immortals, and by the way, the empress transposition ceremony was held on the roof.And the credibility of this matter seems to be quite high - the emperor has already understood the profound things in simple terms, and even the most beloved imperial concubine can't see him.Needless to say, this matter probably has something to do with Zhong Panji.

After listening to what Zhong Panji said, he really understood the whole story.It turned out that the stupid emperor didn't know how to listen to the pillow wind blown by the traverser, so he wandered here, and he had to be so arrogant that the queen would hand over the throne to the imperial concubine five days later.Zhong Panji didn't pay attention to him at all, he lay on the bed aggrieved like a cat abandoned by its owner, and agreed casually no matter what he stopped.But the emperor didn't know which nerve was wrong, and he actually felt that his queen had become more beautiful, her eyes had become more attractive, her legs had become longer, and recently she was so thin that she didn't even have a chest.

So he took a fancy to it, secretly drugged it in the water, and told the surrounding guards to disperse, ready to enjoy the thrill of "stealing" things.However, what he didn't know was that when it came to prescribing medicine, Zhong Panji said that he was an ancestor, and no one dared to say that he was a grandson behind his back—a great-grandson if he died.So this Emperor Yuanwen was very lucky to experience the most terrifying punishment in the world-hair pulling.

It's hard to say what it feels like for a person who doesn't lose their hair to have their hair pulled down one by one. Of course, the physical pain is definitely not as good as the aggrieved heart. This is like a warrior. There were bloody incisions on his body, but it was hard to explain his speechless state of mind when he was held down by a group of women and plucked out his armpit hair.

So after Lin Chenchu ​​and others left, in a dark state of mind, Emperor Yuanwen introduced the punishment of pulling out hair into the top ten tortures of Daling, and never plucked out other people's hair—the left half of the murderer's head was half bald The one who robs is half-bald on the right side of his head, and the one who steals is bald in the middle—it seems that Zhong Panji has successfully tortured and perverted this fragile emperor.

Later, the punishment of pulling hair was once ranked the top of the list of tortures, almost reaching the point where the people who heard it turned pale. Until hundreds of years later, a bald pockmarked boy who suffered from it rose up and threatened to overthrow the previous dynasty and cancel the practice of pulling hair. Torture, which left this cruel punishment in the annals of history.Later, he had a very classic philosophical thought that has been handed down-he who wins the hearts of the people wins the world.

Far away.

It may be that Zhong Panji thought that he could not play the emperor stupidly, so he only gave him a small punishment - asking him to kowtow a thousand heads, and every time he kowtowed, he had to scold himself.However, he still underestimated the fragile glass heart of Emperor Yuanwen. In fact, he was completely shattered after he knocked it down. In the cold palace where every day should not be called and the ground is not working, he kowtowed to the most abandoned woman and admitted his mistake. He was close to collapse. , Even such cruel words as "Pu Shuo Mimi is my grandfather", "I read Pirates every day", "I read Tiny Times [-] every day and I also read [-] and [-] times a day".

After listening to the rumors in the market, and then listening to the story told by Zhong Panji, Lin Chenchu ​​felt that it was not much better than watching American blockbusters—in any case, it was much better than the brain-dead dramas written by third-rate screenwriters.

……

Yongzhou, the political center of the Daling Dynasty, has always been a rich and treasured land that dignitaries flock to. It is surrounded by the Yantai River on one side and the Xiantenghuang Mountain on the other. The remaining three sides are fertile soil and exquisite natural dangers.Located in the center of the beautiful Yantang River, Yidi built the most magnificent large-scale palace complex in this dynasty, covering an area of ​​[-] acres, with red walls and golden tiles, and gorgeous decorations. The palace where the king lived.

In the Qiuteng Hall of the Shenluan Palace, lived the current Daling Emperor Yuanwen Emperor Zhao Nuo.It's just that Zhao Nuo didn't review the memorials like in the past. Instead, he was forced by two women (?) to lose all his hair—he only had half of his hair left.

"Ouch! (I don't want it)" A woman was wearing a golden-red phoenix robe, with a delicate appearance, her beautiful eyes were full of tears, and she was looking affectionately at the half-bald man in the golden robe in front of her: "You I still can’t forget that woman! Wei Zhi (I have been) waiting, Wei Zhi expecting that you will fall in love with me, but Si (is) I am swollen so Si can’t wait for your heart to woo..."

Zhao Nuo hugged his beloved woman and looked up at the sky at 45 degrees while holding her in his arms, like a terminally ill male protagonist who hugged his woman affectionately, and left a dying will affectionately: "Xiao Ting , don’t cry, how can I not love you, do you know that in countless lonely nights, I always rely on thinking about your voice and smile to continue living. Do you know that sometimes I really feel Hate the prime minister, why did he make you 15 years late, why I didn't meet you 15 years ago, so that the first half of my life was always blank..."

"Arno..."

Pan Ting looked at Zhao Nuo with tears in her eyes, she was completely moved, she carefully savored the most precious promise of the emperor in the world, that promise was like a fragrant flower, the fresh fragrance was full of force from □ that would never improve.She knew very well that if she had really appeared in front of Zhao Nuo 15 years ago, then she would have been replaced by more women today, not to mention how could Zhao Nuo have lonely nights—— Is it a day when dandelions are scattered all over the place and everyone dies?

Of course, as a helpless woman who traveled from the 21st century, all she can do to such a feudal lord at the top of the food chain is to pretend to be false. She will never do anything to anger him, such as pointing out that he is a half bald...

After returning to Ziying Palace from Qiuteng Palace, it was almost evening, Pan Ting leaned against the vermilion window pane, the evening wind gently brushed her long hair that reached her ankles, like a desperate girl who was ready to jump off a building at any time fan.She watched the sunset silently, and softly recited: "The sunset is infinitely beautiful, but it's almost dusk."

"Good poetry, good poetry." From behind her came out a glamorous woman in court lady's attire. She walked up behind her with lotus steps, gently wrapped her waist around her, and asked affectionately: "Is it just that Tingting wants to talk to you?" Who is 'near dusk'?"

Pan Ting looked at the woman coldly with squinting eyes, like a lonely high mountain flower blooming in the snow-capped mountains. Can you find the stranger?"

The woman put a touch of red lips on her face: "Naturally, even if I search Da Ling for the things you entrusted to me, I will find them for you."

Pan Ting finally showed a slightly seductive smile towards the woman: "Gu Yao, if this battle is successful, you and I can be together in a fair and honest way. Although that Empress Xian is somewhat capable, if the whole world says she is Monster, even if she does know some charlatan tricks, so what? Ask her to meet her Immeasurable Heavenly Venerable tomorrow!"

The woman giggled, put her hand into Pantene's clothes with a smile, gently played with the two soft meat balls, and whispered in her ear: "Why do I care so much about your ugly appearance... ... Forget it, I won't play with you today, I will arrange many things, and I will give you a satisfactory result tomorrow."

The woman withdrew her disturbing hand, passed Pantene's phoenix crown lightly as if being blown by the wind, and disappeared into the vast night in an instant.It wasn't until she left that Pan Ting showed a disgusting gesture, gathered her clothes, and said in a low voice, "I also asked you, a bitch, to go to the Seventh Hall of Hades together."

A gust of night wind passed by, rolled up a yellow leaf on the roof, and slid out of most of the imperial city, and was blown into a more familiar deep blue forest, skipping a cliff, skipping a bush The flowers and plants finally blew into a fragrant and dark room, and fell on the top of a person's fluffy and messy hair.

"Xiaochen, we're at the place, sober up..." Zhong Panji looked helplessly at Lin Chenchu, who was helping the drunken Lin Chenchu. Under the guise of official business, he wanted to go to the restaurant behind his back to find a girl, but he was arrested by himself. After that, he tried to stun him, but in the end he rushed to the street first.

"Let go of my hiccups, I'm not drunk..." Lin Chenchu ​​threw off Zhong Panji, staggered to the door, leaned against the door firmly, pointing at the sky speechlessly, pointing at Qianfu coldly with a frowning brow What a shame.

Zhong Panji stood with his hands aside, waiting for his next words.Lin Chenchu ​​hiccupped a few times with his face flushed, and finally opened his mouth affectionately. Zhong Panji shuddered and blocked his ears reflexively.I only heard a scream of earth-shattering weeping ghosts and gods gushing out from the young man's thin chest: "I still want to live another 500 years!!!"

Zhong Panji went up to restrain the person who caused harm to the common people, covered his mouth, and forced him into the cold palace like kidnapping a hot girl: "Don't worry, the harm will last for thousands of years, you and I will live long."

After dragging someone who was struggling into the dark room, all the sounds suddenly seemed to be shut out by an iron door.Lin Chenchu ​​suddenly became very quiet, like a well-behaved doll, quietly leaning on Zhong Panji's arm, obedient and totally different from just now.Zhong Panji's heart skipped a beat, and he vaguely sensed that something was wrong with him.

Sure enough, he looked down at Lin Chenchu, and saw that he was also looking at him with a pair of clear and transparent eyes, innocent as pure as a child, and those crystal eyes were like pure crystals under the dim sunset: "Beauty , leave a QQ number?"

Button number?what number is thatSuona?Zhong Panji pretended not to hear, and continued dragging people into the house.

Lin Chenchu ​​didn't struggle, stretched out his hands to grab his firm muscles, and then said in admiration: "A strong man has such muscles, are you the legendary female man?"

I was originally a man.Keep ignoring, keep procrastinating...

Lin Chenchu ​​wrenched a hand out of his arm, touched his chest, and then looked at him in shock: "Oh my God! What a flat airport!" Then he put on a lewd Smiling face: "It's okay, the flat-chested girl is a loli... I like it."

What is a loli, and what is an airport?Xiao Chen spoke strangely.He grabbed his hand back, clamped it, and continued to ignore it, speeding up his pace and dragging him into the house.

Lin Chenchu ​​reluctantly touched Zhong Panji's crotch, in a dark state of mind, this time Zhong Panji didn't stop him, and immediately after listening, Lin Chenchu ​​struggled like a frying pan: "So you are a cross-dressed man!" Fucking fagot! Let me down! I don't want to be gay!"

Zhong Panji finally understood the true meaning of Jilao and Gaoji... It turned out that it wasn't about the age and type of chicken, he was taught.

Lin Chenchu ​​continued to face his drunken old face, tossing and crawling into the house as if he had been beaten with chicken blood, and was just thrown on the bed by Zhong Panji who walked into the master bedroom.Lin Chenchu ​​suddenly became quiet again, with a strange smug look on his face, as if he had found his home, he hugged the quilt and looked at Zhong Panji contentedly: "Comrade, I... I'm afraid I can't do it... …You have to persevere through the rest of the Long March. The road ahead is still very difficult. As long as you have the revolution, the party, and Chairman Mao in your heart, you will be able to survive...for the revolution - Fight for your career! Fight!"

Zhong Panji nodded and covered his head with the quilt, and said perfunctorily, "Well, I see, I'm leaving, you can rest in peace."

Lin Chenchu's still struggling hand stretched out from the quilt finally dropped powerlessly, Zhong Panji heaved a sigh of relief, turned around and prepared to leave.Just as he was taking the first step, a snow-white figure suddenly jumped out from behind, grabbed his neck, and dragged him into the soft bed.While Zhong Panji, who was strangled by his arm, stuck out his tongue, a certain beating guy said in a sinister way, "Brother! When we became sworn brothers in Taoyuan, didn't we agree not to be born in the same year, the same month, and the same day, but to die in the same year, the same month, and the same day?" What? Both my second brother and I have left one after another, how can we leave you alone in the empty room? Come on, let’s burp and catch a cold together!"

Zhong Panji's face turned red from his choking, and he turned his head with difficulty, only then did Lin Chenchu ​​see clearly that what he was holding in his arms was not a hypocritical man, but an extremely graceful woman.Zhong Panji's heart thumped again, and Lin Chenchu ​​had a lewd smile on his face: "Athena, you have finally fallen into my Poseidon's hands hahaha! I will use my semen to paste your hands and feet, You can't escape between my legs, wow ha ha!"

Zhong Panji's whole body was hot from his touch, and the area between his legs was even more flushed. He grabbed Lin Chenchu, rolled over and pressed him under him, biting him with an uncontrollable kiss as if possessed by a demon.Under a shower of kisses, Lin Chenchu ​​regained his composure again. When Zhong Panji looked up again, he saw him looking at him with innocent eyes, and said with a smile, "Cao Chang, I won't Struggling..."

Zhong Panji was immediately discouraged, and he sighed, why the curse can only be undone when the other party is drinking, isn't this obviously forcing him?If either party falls into a state of unconsciousness in this kind of thing, the result is that Lin Chenchu ​​will leave him. There is no way, it is better for him to hold back than Lin Chenchu ​​avoiding him...

But it was obvious that the idiot in a certain house lying opposite did not understand his good intentions at all, grabbed Zhong Panji by the collar and dragged him into his eyes, roaring with tears in his eyes: "Cao Chang, please don't pity me! For you , I am willing to give my life (ju) life (hua)!"

Zhong Panji couldn't take it anymore, he waved his arms like a poet who had gone mad, speechless and hysterical for a long time, and finally found out that there was a small yellow leaf on top of Lin Chenchu's head, Pulled it off, held it up to his eyes and shouted: "Look what this is! It was pulled from your head!"

He thought that Lin Chenchu ​​would say that he was a tree, and then he would be completely quiet. He didn't expect someone to take the leaf in surprise, and said in disbelief and surprise:

"Swastika?!"

So that night, almost all the patrolling people in the hunting field heard the sound of beams breaking from the cold palace, as well as the flames soaring into the sky.Everyone sighed unanimously—a lovelorn woman is really scary.

In the early morning of the next day, the Zhaixing Building was completed. This huge building built on a high cliff is like a giant spear soaring into the sky, mighty and domineering.In order to build such a high-rise building in five days and five nights, the emperor spent almost half of the treasury. From a certain point of view, this may be the most expensive breakup fee in history.

Dressed in a 16-person phoenix, they entered the vicinity of the hunting palace early. This palace, which has become a cold palace, is now bleak. The empress and empress stood alone in front of the broken door, her eyes full of fatigue.The two little eunuchs stepped forward cautiously, and said softly, "Empress, please."

Zhong Panji nodded, and entered Fengzhu in a daze. Only then did the two little eunuchs see Lin Chenchu ​​who had been standing behind the queen. A little eunuch walked forward with small steps, pinching his nose in disgust. He said, "Bold! Who are you? How dare you trespass on the imperial palace!"

Lin Chenchu, who was smelling of alcohol, didn't answer, but Zhong Panji from Fengzhuo poked his head out: "Don't be rude! He's a junior from my teacher's school, and he's here to visit me."

The little eunuch hurriedly agreed in a low voice, and waited until Zhong Panji retracted his head again, then whispered to another little eunuch: "Xiao Puzi, look at the empress... tsk tsk tsk, haggard, it's only been a few days, thin I don't even have breasts..."

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