The whole world thinks I'm inscrutable

Ke Shao'an came back with the determination that the future has been changed.

But after opening his eyes, he found that there was no discomfort in his body.

In other words, not even the slightest change in the position where I was sitting.

He looked at Yin Sijin suspiciously.

"...Didn't you live with me in the world?"

Not only did they not live together, they even just glanced at him before turning around and leaving.

Yin Sijin had just sent Ke Shaoan over, and the next second he heard such a question, he knew that Ke Shaoan had returned.After understanding the meaning of Ke Shao'an's words, he said, "No."

"why?"

Yin Sijin said gently: "Seeing that the world has changed too much, I'm not used to it, so I went back."

Ke Shaochen was silent.

Although the scenery in the world is far inferior to Yin Sijin's palace, the atmosphere between the two of them just now does not look like they changed their minds instantly because of the bad environmental conditions.

Yin Sijin is lying.

But Ke Shaochen didn't know whether he should ask.

He just said, "You said you wouldn't dislike me because of my longevity."

If Yin Sijin had firmly remembered this sentence back then, it stands to reason that the future will be changed, and Ke Shao'an should not be sitting here.Traveling in order to "change the future".

In other words, his time travel "failed".

Maybe have to go back again.

Yin Sijin said: "I always remember."

Ke Shaoan raised his head in surprise, looked at Yin Sijin's beautiful eyes, and couldn't help but said: "Then will you alienate me because of my short life span?"

Yin Sijin: "No."

Ke Shaochen: "But——"

But what happened today.

Why would the accountant say that?

He didn't think the accountant would tease Ke Shao'an deliberately by talking about topics such as "shemale's different ways" and "the theory of life expectancy" for no reason.

And there is indeed something wrong with Yin Sijin's appearance.

Ke Shao'an has never been a person who beat around the bush and hesitated, so he said directly: "What's wrong with you?"

Yin Sijin didn't speak.

Ke Shaochen: "What are you thinking?"

Yin Sijin was silent for a long time, and then slowly opened his mouth while Ke Shaoan was patiently waiting.

"I'm a little scared."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid of two people who love each other, how sad the other must be when one of them dies. I have experienced that feeling too many times... Sadness never fades because you have experienced it too many times. Only It will become more and more uncomfortable." Yin Sijin said depressedly: "When you know that something is a tragedy, should you really start that starting point?"

"Everyone will eventually disappear because of death. Even ordinary people without special abilities know this clearly, but they can't just do nothing just because they know they will die." Ke Shaochen frowned: "Maybe in It seems to you that human love is fleeting and short-lived. You are afraid of the pain after losing, so you dare not try again, but this is not the case. The moment you express your love, this love is eternal. It will always be in your heart.”

Yin Sijin just shook his head: "It's not like that... I didn't mean that..."

Ke Shaochen said patiently: "What is that like? What do you want to express? What are you afraid of?"

Yin Sijin didn't speak.

Ke Shaoan looked at Yin Sijin's silent appearance, took a long breath, and then let it out with gravity.He tried his best to calm himself down, think about the current situation, analyze all the information during this period, and rack his brains to figure out what was going on.

He doesn't want to imagine the person he likes as a timid, cowardly, selfish, and fickle person.

There must be another reason, a reason that makes Yin Sijin worried and afraid, and would rather avoid him and return to the demon world and never meet again, and return to the endless waiting again, which is even worse.

What does Yin Sijin like the most, and what is he most worried about losing?

The people of the demon world?

Or is it Ke Shaochen?

That is such a moment.Ke Shaochen's heart moved, and he was startled into a cold sweat by a guess that he had never considered.

He said something that broke Yin Sijin's expression.

"……you will die?"

Yin Sijin quickly turned his head: "——What?!"

Ke Shao'an felt that his temples were throbbing, and his thinking was confused by the noise. He couldn't believe this kind of speculation, but all the things during this period made him have to think about the result in a bad way.He had never hated himself so much why he had to think so quickly, causing him to come up with such a shitty future all at once.

"You say you won't dislike my short lifespan, but you're also afraid that the two people who love each other will be sad if one dies and the other will be sad." Ke Shao'an held a breath in his heart and didn't dare to express it, holding on to his emotions. Carefully analyzing the situation: "Then I have been working hard for an unknown reason all these years, and I don't hesitate to torture myself for more than ten years just to achieve that goal."

He felt that his palms were trembling a little, and he quickly clenched them to keep them from shaking: "If you say it's for gaining a world, it's justified. After all, my character is so greedy. In order to get the greatest power in the world, it's no big deal to wrong yourself Yes. But I don’t know why I was in such a hurry, and even used the false existence of ‘another personality’ to force myself forward to stimulate myself not to relax and be lazy...I already felt something was wrong.”

"If my goal is to conquer the world, but there are some jobs that are obviously at a disadvantage, why do I have to take over and do them? I am not as kind as I imagined. To put it bluntly, if something is not good for me The good thing is that I basically don't care about it, and I don't even look back at it. But in fact, I just care about it, and I care about everything..."

Ke Shaoan looked at Yin Sijin, his tone was suppressed, and he said in a hoarse voice: "You say, only for someone, I would rather sacrifice myself, and I will do my best to achieve a goal regardless of difficulties."

"..."

Yin Sijin's lips trembled, and he lowered his head: "Me."

"Did you know something a long time ago?" Ke Shao said angrily, "You know that you will be in danger, and you also know that I have been working hard for you all these years, but you don't want me to do this, so you deliberately hide it." Look at me, don't tell me anything."

He remembered the video from the future that he received half a year after he lost his memory.After the TV video, there was another mobile phone video, which was supposed to have a section for Ke Shaochen to listen to alone, but was stopped by Yin Sijin, saying that he also wanted to listen to it together, and it turned out that there was no other content. Didn't say, only the normal video of "The Last Mission".

If Ke Shao'an didn't get angry with the "other personality" at that time and chose to listen alone, maybe the current him would have already learned everything from his future self.

"I should have thought about it a long time ago. With your personality, how could you do something that deliberately alienates me and hurts me to protect yourself." Ke Shao said angrily, "You have been waiting for me for so many years!"

Yin Sijin looked a little flustered, and he said timidly, "...you know?"

He didn't even have time to do anything alienating, he just rejected Ke Shaochen not long ago, how did Ke Shaochen notice it so quickly.

Ke Shao'an's eyes looked a little cold for a moment, because Yin Sijin was angry: "You don't want me to know?"

Yin Sijin shrank back and hid.

He was really afraid that Ke Shao'an would be angry, and even more afraid that Ke Shao'an would hate him.

"You may want, you want..." Thinking of that damn word, Ke Shaoan couldn't help but his eyes turned red, he was so angry that he clenched his fists and hammered on the sofa next to him, clenched his teeth angrily, his forehead My veins burst out.There is no way to get angry with the person I like, I can only pour my anger on myself.

He took a deep breath, then let it out heavily.Supporting his forehead with his hands, he turned his head and looked like he was about to cry. He said to Yin Sijin, "Didn't I tell you about these things in the past years? I went back so many times, I never promised you once, saying that I will save you, so you can rest assured? Am I not doing well enough? "

Yin Sijin hurriedly held Ke Shao'an's trembling hand, and said nervously: "It's not your fault, you said it many times, it was me, it was my fault. It's all because I failed to trust you, so I- —”

"No." How could someone would rather believe that he was destined to die than hope?

Ke Shaochen shook his head: "It's because I'm not capable enough. You can't bear to see how 'difficult' I've been living these years. After all, it's useless to blame me. I can only use this half-hearted method to keep you."

"No, you have worked very hard and done a good job. Everything is because of me. I dragged you down. If I were stronger and believed in you, I wouldn't make you so sad."

"You're afraid that I'll be sad, so why don't you listen to what I said." Ke Shao said angrily, "You've come here together, yet you're still thinking wildly because of my illness."

Yin Sijin looked at Ke Shao'an's accusing eyes, and said weakly: "I can't help but be afraid. Until now, I can clearly feel the approach of death... You said you would change the future for me, but if you continue like this If I continue, I am destined to die... I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of seeing you feel sorry for me. If I can, I would rather not see you at all, anyway, I have been alone for 1000 times I don't care if I can meet you in these ten years. I don't want to drag you down and cause you to suffer so much for me... It's my fault. I only think about myself and fail to consider yours Feeling, sorry..."

Ke Shao sighed, held Yin Sijin's hand tightly, patted the back of his hand, comforted him constantly, then held his breath, and said to Yin Sijin, "How long is it?"

"Less than a year."

Ke Shao'an was completely cold at first, as if he had fallen into an endless abyss.Then a fire surged up in my heart, and it took all the strength in my body to restrain myself from angrily reprimanding, and said in a trembling voice: "...you noticed it when we first met?"

Yin Sijin nodded: "I should have been able to send you back to any point in time when you were alive, but at that time I found that I could only send you back 12 years at most... It is impossible for you to have anything wrong with me, so The one who dies will only be me."

He never thought that after waiting for a full thousand years in the demon world, what he waited for would be this result.The joke God played with him was too big, he couldn't bear this kind of future, the moment he learned the truth, he almost knelt down in front of Ke Shao'an and cried bitterly.

So instead of continuing the agreement with Ke Shao'an, he turned around and returned to the demon world.

He originally decided that he would never see Ke Shaoan again after that.

But Ke Shao'an persisted and brought it out again and again. The words "I will save you" and "Trust me" are like a magical spell, awakening his desire to live on, and making him follow Ke Shaoan to this place step by step.

But seeing his life shortened day by day, Yin Sijin felt more and more uneasy.Seeing Ke Shaoan lying on the hospital bed this time, I felt the uneasiness and distress in my heart, and imagining the picture of Ke Shaoan alone and thinking about him in pain after his death, Yin Sijin felt like a knife piercing his heart, Couldn't help but shrink back again.

Even now it is too late.

As long as he leaves Ke Shao'an and disappears from his sight, Ke Shao'an will not know that he will die, at most he will just spend his life holding resentment towards him.

Hate is also better than suffering.

"What about you?" Ke Shao was so angry that his body trembled unconsciously: "What about your own mood? For 11 years, you just looked at me from a distance, and didn't dare to take the initiative to meet me. Don't dare to give up casually. I dare not expect it. I want to leave, but I am eager to stay. I like me, but I don’t want me to like you. I want to be nice to me, but I don’t want me to be nice to you. You want me to be happy all my life, but you Have you considered yourself!!"

Thinking of the kind of life Yin Sijin had lived all these years before he knew it, Ke Shao'an felt so heartbroken that he almost suffocated.

"But I don't want you to be sad!" Yin Sijin's voice couldn't help but grow louder. He looked at Ke Shao'an with tears in his eyes: "I know better than anyone what it feels like to be alone, and I know better than anyone else what it feels like to be alone. I don’t want to leave a human feeling after someone dies, I can’t do it! I don’t want you to love me, and I dare not let you love me, but you said that to me when we first met, you let me What should I do! Of course I want to be with you, I've been thinking about you all these years and I'm dying! But what can I do? I can only restrain myself from meeting you, even if I want to see you, I can only Hiding beside you in a hidden form, if I want to feel your body temperature, I can only turn into an animal you don’t know and approach you, I dare not do anything else!!”

Yin Sijin choked up and said: "I want to treat you well, I want my figure to fill every place in your heart, I want you to remember me forever, I wish you could only see me in your eyes... But I don’t dare, don’t be angry, I dare not! Every day when I open my eyes, I can feel that death is gradually approaching me. I feel so scared when I see your smiling eyes at me. I’m really afraid that you will never see me again. I can't show this kind of smile anymore, the better you treat me, the more uncomfortable I will be, do you understand?!"

He didn't even dare to tell Ke Shaochen, who didn't know anything, about this feeling, so he could only bear this feeling silently, and endured it for so many years.

Then, his pupils shrank, and he looked at Ke Shaochen in disbelief, and even forgot to breathe.

Ke Shao was angry, he cried.

No matter how dilapidated and helpless Ke Shao'an was in the past, Yin Sijin had never seen Ke Shao'an showing such an expression.

With red eyes, looking into his eyes, tears fell silently, just like what Yin Sijin often saw in nightmares.After his death, Ke Shao'an was left alone in this world by him, just like Yin Sijin back then, who lost his soul, lost the brilliance in his eyes, and lived in hardship all his life.

It's what he absolutely, absolutely, doesn't want to see.

Yin Sijin panicked all of a sudden.

"If you don't want me to be sad, just live well!" Ke Shaochen choked up and said, "Whether you are struggling or afraid, no matter what difficulty it is, I will solve it for you, don't run away, just live well !"

Yin Sijin couldn't see Ke Shaoan crying, so he hugged Ke Shaoan nervously, embracing the person he loved deeply.

"I will never say how bad my past experience is. Compared with the future without you, I can do anything too extreme." Ke Shaoan hugged Yin Sijin with his backhand, no matter what Don't allow the other party to give up before yourself: "This is not a deadlock. One day I can do it. If I fail once, I will do it ten times. If I fail ten times, I will do it a hundred times! One time, I can save you. You have to believe I."

"I believe..." Yin Sijin said sadly, "It's because I believe..."

That's why he didn't want Ke Shao'an to persevere.

Because Yin Sijin understands better than anyone else that his ability is not salvation, but torture.

A painful, never-ending torment.

Otherwise, he would not have watched Yin Chen leave in front of him again and again, struggling countless times, until his spirit could no longer support him to continue.

That kind of feeling is absolutely beyond human comprehension.It was the despair of seeing the person you love the most leave in front of your eyes, trying your best to save him, but you can't do anything.

It is the self-blame of personally choosing to give up and allowing the other party to lose his life.

He has experienced it himself, so he understands that feeling better than anyone else.He didn't hope that Ke Shao'an would one day become the same him who was in deep pain and couldn't find a way out.

Or maybe, it has become him.

……

This matter is like a knot, stuck in the hearts of Ke Shao'an and Yin Sijin, which cannot be untied no matter what.

Both of them are very mature. After this conversation, they continued to live their usual life together as if nothing had happened.

It’s just that Ke Shao’an would often ask Yin Sijin, “Is the future still unchanged?”, and then looked at Yin Sijin and shook his head regretfully.

So Ke Shao'an would always say, "Don't be afraid, if it really doesn't work, let me travel back to the past again, and I can always find a solution."After a few seconds of silence, Yin Sijin replied, "How many times do you think you have tried?" Then it was Ke Shao'an's turn to remain silent.

Ke Shaochen also knew in his heart that he must have repeated this reincarnation several times.

Otherwise, the pattern and memory like now would not appear so perfect and smooth.

What Yin Sijin meant was that the more times he struggled in reincarnation like this, the greater the trauma caused by the flash of memories flooding into Ke Shao'an's mind, so he resisted very much.

But Ke Shaochen would not choose to retreat no matter what.Maybe it was deliberately shaped by "another personality". He seems to have a tenacity not to admit defeat. No matter how bad the situation is, no matter what kind of harsh treatment he suffers, he can always adjust his state immediately. Quickly bandage the wound, and then try my best to move on towards the place where hope may appear.

Therefore, even if he is allowed to reincarnate 12 times in these [-] years, he will definitely change the future and save Yin Sijin.

Ke Shao'an would not agree with any other ending.

He was originally a very persistent person, and he would never give up until he reached his goal.

What's more, if this matter fails, what he will lose will be the heaviest and most unpayable price in his life.

He didn't think he would give up, and he was willing to pay any price for it, even if the price was himself.Yin Sijin was also not allowed to give up, which he couldn't bear no matter what.

and……

Ke Shaoan looked at Yin Sijin's seemingly ignorant appearance, and he was certain in his heart that his journey of crossing might be coming to an end and entering the final stage.

There is no other reason, just seeing Yin Sijin being taken care of by him so that he doesn't need to worry about anything, and he doesn't need to participate, you can understand one or two.

Ke Shao'an understands his temper, he is not the kind of person who wants to do everything by himself for the sake of face, and refuses to ask Yin Sijin to help.If it was to save Yin Sijin, Ke Shao'an would even use Yin Sijin, unless the matter had reached the point where Ke Shao'an could handle it easily by himself without Yin Sijin's help.

"You just need to wait at home with peace of mind." Ke Shaochen said, "You don't need to worry about the rest, I will take care of everything for you."

Yin Sijin said helplessly, "I know."

In these years, Ke Shao'an has said similar words to him countless times.Seeing Ke Shaoan running around in the human world and the demon world for him, but asking Ke Shaoan what he is doing and if he needs help, Ke Shaoan always says, "Your responsibility is to make yourself happy. , so I am happier than anything else," said Yin Sijin helplessly.

Because of Ke Shao'an's words, he feels warm and secure in his heart, but he can't help but always think too much, worrying whether he has caused too much trouble for Ke Shao'an.But Ke Shao'an never showed a tired and anxious look in front of him, and he was always so comfortable.It's only when he occasionally loses his memory and turns back into a child that he looks so flustered.Yin Sijin couldn't understand what Ke Shao'an was doing, and what he could understand was a little bit of Ke Shao'an's efforts after all.

But even if it was just a little bit, it was enough for Yin Sijin to feel distressed for a long time.He almost never saw Ke Shaoan relax and stop.I am always worried whether Ke Shao'an is pushing himself too hard.

As for the other repeated reincarnations, Ke Shao'an kept going through those 12 years, but he didn't even have a chance to see them.

He didn't dare to imagine how much effort Ke Shao'an had made for him.How much suffering, how much tears, how much painstaking effort and sweat have been paid.

Ke Shaochen never let him know.

And what he can do for Ke Shao'an is to believe in Ke Shao'an, don't let Ke Shao'an worry too much, don't let Ke Shao'an feel that he is not doing well enough, calm down and wait silently.Wait until the day when Ke Shao'an tells him, "Everything is over, you don't have to worry about it anymore".