Ha ha

Just as Xu Chenchuan typed the word "Oh", he saw a new reminder pop up in the lower right corner of the screen.

[Ben invites you to a video session].

Xu Chenchuan's eyes were stung, as if the name had been quenched by fire.He stared at the prompt for a while, got up silently, and closed the door.

Hearing the soft closing sound of the door, Shu Yingli, who was watching TV in the living room, raised her head and looked at Xu Chenchuan's bedroom vigilantly.

Xu Chenchuan returned to the computer, adjusted his facial expression, and clicked accept.

Chen Huan's face appeared on the screen.Chen Huan cut his hair, looking fresh and energetic.He grinned at the camera, his eyes slightly bent: "Can you hear me?"

Xu Chenchuan reached out and turned on the microphone: "Yes."

"That's good." Chen Huan stared at him, "How are you doing during the summer vacation? Will the internship be very hard?"

"Very good, learned a lot."

"Well, you still have to pay attention to rest and don't tire yourself out."

From before, Xu Chenchuan knew that Chen Huan had a specialty, he could say any greetings with infinite sincerity.Perhaps it was this that allowed him to quickly make many friends.People can be noticed and cared for, even if only in the most beneficial and cost-effective form, most of them are moved.But when this kind of tone was used to Xu Chenchuan at this moment, it was a little more unpredictable than pure concern.

Xu Chenchuan is very familiar with this ambiguity - until now, he is still restrained by it involuntarily.

He saw his nonchalant smile: "What about you? How was the internship?"

"I'm also a little busy. I don't know anything when I first arrived in the company, so I'll learn slowly."

"It's definitely fine."

Chen Huan laughed again: "Really? You really believe that I'm fine? Suddenly I feel very motivated."

"...Because you are powerful enough."

"That's also thanks to you."

Xu Chenchuan's heart, which he thought was strong enough, still stopped beating for half a beat, feeling unspeakably uncomfortable, like scratching an itch.Chen Huan came to look for him again, what was it for?

"I called you before you left, but you probably didn't see it." Chen Huan casually made an excuse for Xu Chenchuan.

"Call?" Remembering, there was indeed a missed call the night before returning to China.But at that time, I just wanted to stop those plausible circles, so I didn't call back.

"Sorry, I was in a hurry at that time, I probably didn't notice the phone." Xu Chenchuan followed the other party's words, "Didn't it delay you?"

"No, no." Chen Huan lowered his eyes and lowered his voice, "I just want to chat with you."

******

After Bai Qi sent that sentence, he waited for a long time without receiving a reply from the other party.He frowned and typed: "Do you have any objections to this? Those publications do not represent authority, and the translation of this sentence has a strong subjective tendency, so there is no need to copy it."

The dialogue window flickered, and Xu Chenchuan opened it subconsciously, only to remember that he was still chatting with Zhihe before.He typed the word "no" in a daze, thinking about how to explain his silence.

"Chris, are you listening?" Chen Huan asked.

"Ah, yes." Xu Chenchuan shook his hands, and sent those two words directly, without bothering to care about it, "What do you want to talk about?"

Chen Huan chuckled twice: "I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore."

The blood seemed to be warming up quietly, bubbling and burning through the limbs and bones.

"how come……"

Chen Huan sighed: "I know I owe you an explanation. It's normal for you to no longer treat me as a friend. But I really don't want to lose you."

Xu Chenchuan was dumbfounded.The blood that was hot just now became cold in an instant.

I am like a dog who does not know dignity, no matter how many times it is trampled on, the next time it is called with a smile, it will wag its tail and come closer.

"Chris?" Chen Huan tentatively called without waiting for an answer.

— as it is now.

"If it's difficult for you, there's no need to explain anything." Xu Chenchuan spoke slowly and said calmly, "It's been a long time, let's just pretend it didn't happen."

Chen Huan was stunned for a moment, and showed a smile almost pitiful: "You...you are always so demanding on yourself."

******

Shu Yingli left the bedroom door on tiptoe, turned around and ran back to the living room: "Husband, husband—"

"what happened?"

"My son is videoing with a man!" Shu Yingli lowered her voice and made exaggerated mouth shapes.

Xu Guoqi looked at her helplessly: "So what?"

"But they sound really wrong! Very wrong! Right!"

"What's wrong?"

"It's about being friends..." Shu Yingli looked at Xu Guoqi's suspicious eyes and wanted to shake him, "Don't you understand! If it's just friends, why do you say we are friends!"

"...because they want to make friends?"

"Are you a kindergarten!!!"

"All right, all right, don't think about it so much, go watch your TV."

"It's impossible to communicate with you." Shu Yingli left angrily.

Xu Guoqi looked in the direction of Xu Chenchuan's bedroom, showing a thoughtful expression.

******

[Chris]: "No"

No more text.

Bai Qi stared at the two words without punctuation marks for a while, not knowing what expression to make.This guy—is in a mood?

This is really new.

[Paper Crane]: "If you have any objections, you can directly raise them for discussion. Why use such a tone?"

After a long time, the other party seemed to have made up his mind not to reply.

Bai Qi closed the dialogue window inexplicably.Probably because this person was too meek before, as if even if he stabbed with a knife, he would only pierce into the cotton, but now he had a sudden attack, as if a dissonant sound suddenly appeared in a boring lullaby, which caught people off guard.

There was a dead silence in the house, and the summer night cicadas were buzzing outside the window.Bai Qi glanced at the lower right corner of the screen, it wasn't too late, but there was nothing to do tonight.He turned off the computer, turned the wheelchair and went to the bathroom.Due to his limited mobility, he spends much longer on washing than others.

******

"At that time, I even forgot what I said casually, but you mentioned it to me a month later. No one has ever cared so much about me..." Chen Huan took a deep breath, "That night, I really I don't know what's going on—no, maybe I know." He smiled wryly, "When I went to chat with you with wine, I should have thought that the situation would get out of hand, but I didn't allow myself to look carefully. think……

"When I came to my senses, I... I was intimidated. I always knew about my sexuality, but I never got over it. My family is very traditional. It is impossible to expect my parents and other relatives to accept homosexuality, and I did not put it The courage to make a big fuss, because I can’t imagine the eyes of people around me after they know about it. You probably think I’m cowardly.”

"No, I can understand." Xu Chenchuan smiled, "I just can't understand, since that's the case, why did you come to me again and again then?"

Chen Huan's expression froze, and his face was a little ugly for a moment: "I was very chaotic during those days. I was afraid and couldn't let you go. I was tortured by guilt, but every time I saw you, I couldn't help it. closer to the past..."

"That is to say, you haven't figured it out yourself, but you still maintain that relationship with me." Xu Chenchuan's tone was light, but Chen Huan blurted out as if being stung:

"But you have lived in the United States for so many years, and you seem to be able to afford it—"

Before he finished speaking, he regretted his slip of the tongue and immediately stopped talking.

Xu Chenchuan felt a dull pain in his heart, but instead smiled on his face: "So, it's safe to play casually with me, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Chen Huan said hastily, "I didn't want to excuse myself, and I knew you were hurt. Really, Chris, I really like you. But I'm destined to find someone to marry, I lived in peace and stability. At that time, I felt that I couldn't face you and continue to be friends. I felt embarrassed when I heard it, and I couldn't say those reasons..."

"Okay, thank you for telling me in the end, so that I won't make random guesses." Xu Chenchuan just wanted to end the conversation now.

"At that time, I knew how much you took care of me and how much help you gave me. I don't want to be seen as ungrateful, or to use you deliberately..."

"Forget about Ben, it's meaningless to talk about it any further." Xu Chenchuan interrupted him with a slight sigh, "What I do is based on my own decision, and you don't have to take it upon yourself. Now that you've figured it out and let it go, in the future Just live your life the way you decide."

Xu Chenchuan ended the video call almost in embarrassment, left the bedroom, and turned into the bathroom.

The sound of rushing water came out, and Shu Yingli looked over worriedly, but hesitated to speak.

It took a long time before the sound of flushing water stopped.Xu Chenchuan walked out slowly, his eyes were a little red, and he went straight back to his room.

He sat in front of the computer in a trance for a while before his eyes fell on Zhihe's reply.

"If you have any objections, you can directly raise them for discussion. Why use such a tone?"

Xu Chenchuan's heart tightened, and he flipped through the records. He really sounded like he was having a fight.

He subconsciously explained——

[Chris]: "Sorry, I just walked away because of something else."

After sending it out and reading it again, I felt very perfunctory.Xu Chenchuan managed to pull himself together and organize his words: "That sentence is actually not finished, I have no objection, thank you for your advice." However, I don't know if it is because of the mood at this time, no matter how you modify it, these words carry subtle emotions.

What a feeble thing words are.Words that I think are clear and easy to understand can be interpreted by different people with a thousand meanings.Man-made words and sentences can never catch the fire of God's creation in the heart.Two sets of equally complicated thought individuals try to communicate only with this stretched language, but they are always separated by iron-cast barriers.

Xu Chenchuan simply deleted that line, turned on the voice message, and said softly into the microphone: "I'm sorry, I encountered something else just now, and I'm not in a good mood. It's not aimed at you. Don't take it for a bad tone. .”

******

Supporting the edge of the bed, Bai Qi moved himself onto the bed, then leaned over and lifted his two legs up.After some movements, he lay down panting slightly, pulled the thin blanket to cover his lower body, and picked up the mobile phone next to the pillow to set the alarm clock for tomorrow.

Two new QQ messages were displayed on the phone.

Seeing the voice message, he froze for a moment, and clicked play.

With a clear and gentle voice, but with a muffled nasal tone, he sincerely apologized to himself.The voice seemed familiar, or it might just be an illusion.

Bai Qi smiled slightly, and typed: "You also have bad moods?"

【Chris】: "...Huh?"