[Titanic] I can't help myself

(The emotional line outside this episode has nothing to do with the main text, Henry only likes Carl, the main text is Carl X Henry 1V1, cousin cannon fodder is unshakable)

William Devitt Wyatt first really understood what it meant to be gay when he was five years old.Although his teacher taught him theology, and his parents occasionally mentioned it, as a child who didn't even understand heterosexuality, the word gay only existed in his consciousness as a word he could pronounce.

At that time, he was visiting the Duke of Suffolk's mansion in London with his family, and many of the nobles who came with him had children of his age.Although due to his noble status, the strict education he received made him look like a little adult. Of course, he himself thinks that he is completely different from those children who just know the alphabet and cry when they fall. But in essence, he is still a playful child.So soon, he dropped his dignity as the next Duke of Prestbury and played hide and seek with the kids.

But even if it is hide-and-seek, William must show that he is different and superior, and must not be found by those stupid children.So he tried his best to get rid of all the children who wanted to hide with him, and went to the downstairs where the servants worked alone, and hid in a room that seemed to store cleaning tools.

Bored, he carefully observed all the corners of the room, and even counted the number of coils of the almost invisible spider web in the corner fifteen times before he heard the sound of footsteps came.

To be found?Little William's mind was full of this idea, and the idea of ​​not being caught instantly occupied all his thoughts. At that moment, he made a move that was not aristocratic at all: he hid in the cabinet where the tools were kept.

As the footsteps approached, the door was opened, but what came in was not the children who came to look for him, but the Duke of Suffolk's second grown-up son, Derek, and a servant he had never seen before.

William breathed a sigh of relief. He was about to come out of the cupboard, but he immediately thought of the vulgar act of drilling the cupboard. If Derek told his parents about the stupid thing he did, the parents would definitely double it Increase his etiquette class time!

But just for a moment, William saw that the two men outside the cupboard locked the door, immediately hugged each other tightly, followed by kissing, he could even see Derek sticking his tongue into the servant mouth!

What happened afterwards was like a messy nightmare. In the dream, through the gap in the cabinet door, there were two naked, naked bodies tightly entangled together, panting heavily, and moaning low and high. Moaning, the sound of flesh and body colliding, and obscenities that he couldn't understand.Derek picked up the manservant and slammed it against the cabinet. There was a bang and creak from the cabinet, which exploded in William's ears like a thunderbolt.He didn't dare to say a word, and curled up in the cabinet in a daze until the two men left.

I don't know how long it took before William climbed out of the cupboard as if sleepwalking, and wandered around where the servants were working in a daze until he was found by a maid and sent back to the room.And the children playing hide-and-seek had long forgotten that there was one man who had not been found, though that man was the future noble and great Duke of Prestbury.

It was afternoon tea time when William returned to the room. The nanny who looked after him saw that he was covered in dust, and after taking a bath for him, he stuffed him in a trance under the quilt.During dinner, William, who had been drowsy all afternoon, developed a high fever.

The family doctor was dug out of the bed in the middle of the night, and hurriedly felt that in the Duke of Suffolk's mansion, Little William was already unconscious from the fever, and could only cry.The doctor worked hard for a long time but did not find the cause of his illness, and the child was too young to take medicines casually, so he could only use physical cooling, and the rest depended on God's will.

Only William's nanny's guess is the closest to the truth. Although she is a bit off topic, she thinks that her little master William saw something unclean, because pure children are closest to God, and their eyes have not been clouded by the filth of the world, so They can sense angels and see Satan.

But the nanny who made this guess was severely scolded. This is in the house of the Duke of Suffolk. Could it be that there is something dirty and evil in the house of the Duke of Suffolk?

Fortunately, after a night of chaos, William's fever subsided the next morning.He recuperated in bed weakly for a week, but kept secret about why he suddenly fell ill, and only insisted that it was because he stayed too long in a damp and cold room while playing hide-and-seek.Although he was only a five-year-old child, he already understood that if he couldn't keep some secrets, he would only bring him huge troubles.

The inexplicable high fever of the heir to the Duke of Prestbury ended with William being multiplied in etiquette lessons and the children playing hide-and-seek with him were reprimanded by their parents, but the real culprit was When he left, he gave him an expensive set of jewel chess as a parting gift, or rather, thanked him for his secretiveness.And Derek was much later to be one of William's most favorable parliamentary aides, who had inherited the title of Duke of Prestbury.

For many years afterwards, the pictures seen in the dirty cupboard have been popping up from the depths of William's mind from time to time.But at the very beginning, these images had no practical significance for William, except for reminding him of the tragic etiquette lesson when he was five years old. It appeared in a dream once, but this time, he no longer hid in the cupboard, but seemed to be Derek, pressing on the handsome blond servant, with a soft body and a hot and continuous passion. The tide, the uncontrollable restlessness, in the dream, like the colorful light overflowing from the soap bubbles, mixed together in a disorderly manner. In the dream, he twisted his body with the instinct of human beings, kissing, gnawing, biting , impact, attack, slowly climbed to the peak of desire, and finally woke up suddenly from the dream.

He sat under the quilt covered with bodily fluids for one night, and then the next morning, when his personal servant came in to help him get dressed, he said to his emaciated self in the mirror: IamGAY.

It's not that he doesn't know that the world's tolerance for same-sex love is smaller than the tip of a needle, but compared to this, he is more aware of the difference that his identity represents.People of their class can always have more rights than ordinary people, for example, they can go farther beyond the boundaries of morality and law but have sufficient excuses to escape any punishment, as long as they don't leave any excuses for themselves stupidly.

Thus, William began to indulge in the indulgent sensual life secretly like all noble boys who entered youth, without telling their parents, except that the targets of other boys were maids and girls from ordinary families in the fiefdom. , and William's prey are male servants and boys from common people in the fief, as well as boys who are "like-minded" with him among the nobles.

He even lived a more nourishing life than other noble boys because he didn't have to worry about illegitimate children.Before he entered Eton College, he had already heard of no less than ten noble children around his age who were promoted to the post of father by accident.His mother talked about these things in a light mocking tone at the dinner table, and then looked at her son tenderly with a hint of gratification, who never took the initiative to approach the young and beautiful maid.

William felt guilty and disturbed about his mother only at such moments.The Wyatt family loves to be a vagabond, and there are countless illegitimate children who cannot bear the surname Wyatt. His father had three illegitimate daughters before marriage. However, under the mother's thunderous means, he never heard that those illegitimate children could live to be baptized.In order to prevent the absurdity of the son's private life like his father's and affect his future marriage and official career, the Duchess has strictly controlled the women in the entire castle since William began to develop, preventing any frivolous woman who wants to turn a sparrow into a phoenix to seduce her perfectly. son.And this just provided William with the conditions to make out with those young and handsome servants.

By the time he was 13, the future Duke attended Eton College, a boys' boarding school.He originally thought that he was going to start a life of abstinence, but the number of gays in Eton was far beyond his imagination. These young men were willing to try any way of sex that made him happy, and The school has adopted a silent policy of not asking, as long as the students do not have too much scandal.

Inheriting the romantic, handsome face and tall physique of the Wyatt family, William, in this place with excess male hormones, is as free as a wild horse running on the endless grassland.In the first year, the number of boys who took the initiative to climb into his bed was in double digits.He pursues the life creed of carpe bliss in time, as long as his appearance meets his requirements, he will not refuse anyone.

Then, from Eton to Oxford, William began his ridiculous nine-year sensual life.He has had countless lovers, treated each of them very well, is a perfect gentleman who is thoughtful, thoughtful and flawless, but he is also ruthless, does not talk about promises, does not talk about feelings, and is careful not to leave anything that shows that he is gay evidence.There was once a knight's son who was dizzy and wanted to expose his sexuality. He always threatened him to be with him, and then within a week, he was sent to prison by William, who had inherited the title of duke, without leaving any feelings.

He is very calm and clear-headed, and has never invested any emotion in those lovers, maybe he has, but that little love is like liking a hunting dog or a horse, it has no effect on himself.Although he is far more sexually interested in boys than girls, as the new Duke of Prestbury, he needs a Duchess of Prestbury and a male heir.So he obediently and even readily accepted his mother's arrangement, and got engaged to the eldest daughter of the Duke of Somerset who held a huge dowry, and held a grand wedding in the summer when he received his graduation certificate.

However, the young duke, who had just returned from his honeymoon, could never have imagined that he would soon meet the boy who would upend his entire creed of life.He used to make others suffer, and soon he himself will toss and turn in the pain of getting what he asks for. He once made others cry, and soon he will shed bitter tears himself. He used to disdain love the most because it makes people Unconscious, but soon he will use his most proud rationality to severely suppress the irrational emotions in his heart that are about to riot all the time.

(The emotional line outside this episode has nothing to do with the main text, Henry only likes Carl, the main text is Carl X Henry 1V1, cousin cannon fodder is unshakable)