[Titanic] I can't help myself

When I awoke the next morning, I regretted my behavior the night before.I opened the book because of curiosity, and then I was attracted by the content of the book, and then I couldn't control it until the early hours of the morning before forcing myself to close the book and go to sleep.As a result, when George came in, he saw my haggard appearance, and was frightened and froze on the spot.

That book is indeed a good book. Although it is an erotic novel, the story is rich in content and the writing style is quite good, which makes people want to stop.My current body has just entered puberty, and I have encountered too many things, and I rarely have time to think about that kind of thing.And that book seemed to ignite a fire in my heart, and it was out of control. I shut myself in the bathroom for a full hour to calm myself down again.

So this morning, I spent twice as much time tidying up as before, so that the dark circles under my eyes became less obvious under the effect of alternating hot and cold compresses.And when I walked into the diner, the culprit was leisurely eating a sandwich.

I ate two mouthfuls of bread and left first. As soon as I walked out of the restaurant, James followed and grabbed my shoulders.

"You look so haggard, which proves that you read my 'letter' yesterday." He deliberately put his weight on me, "So, shall we go for a drink and celebrate our pure St. Henry at last?" He was dragged into the water and degenerated into an ordinary man!"

I pushed him away hard, "I was just shocked by your shamelessness and had a nightmare all night. That kind of book has no meaning other than giving me a new understanding of your poor shame."

"Oh~ my poor Henry." He sighed like an aria. "What do you need to hide in front of the close brother you grew up with? I saw when you were eight years old that you liked man."

"What nonsense are you talking about!" I looked at him in shock, "Even if it's a joke, it's too much, James Durance!"

James made a grimace, let go of me and took a small step back, "Don't get excited, don't get excited." He made a "stop" gesture, "I don't mean anything else, you know I'm not that kind of person."

I stared at him, my heart pounding.His words came so suddenly, I never thought that besides William, there would be others who would know my true sexual orientation.

"I don't know how you came to this ridiculous conclusion, but I hope you can think about it before you speak, and don't make any jokes." I said softly, "I still have something to do, go to the study first. At lunch Goodbye."

"Don't be angry." He stopped me, "Why are you so wary? We've known each other since you were born, don't you know my character? I'm the kind who would joke about this kind of thing and hold it in my hands Is it the person who is the handle?"

I put aside my eyes and stared at the patterns on the wallpaper, and gradually calmed down, and finally regained my calm.

Seeing that my resistance was not so severe, James pouted, put his arms around my shoulders and said, "You are really sad, Henry, you don't trust me so much. You are too sensitive. You know, although those old Old-fashioned people shout 'this is immoral, this is dirty', but in fact, liking men is not uncommon in our class, and you will find out later that most of them have tried this relationship. In fact, they There really isn't anything that hasn't been tried.

"You know Alfred Douglas, Marquess of Queensberry? He was the lover of Oscar Wilde, the author of that book. Oh, there was a lot of trouble between the two of them back then. Remember that annoying hypocritical Essex Fred Portman, the Duke of St., he is not picky at all, as long as the other person's appearance is acceptable, he will not let go of any chance to have an affair. In London at the beginning of this year, he was quite the same as Ge One of the servants of the Earl of Ransome's house was very hot. Ah, even I, I had a few wonderful relationships with some lovely boys at Eton. Of course, I later found out that I still prefer girls. "

Hearing this, the corner of my mouth couldn't help twitching, "If you want to show off your rich and colorful history of emotional conquest, I'm sorry, I really have something to do."

"Oh, eon, don't be such a disappointment!" He wailed, hooked my neck and dragged me to a corner, "In my 'letter' to you, besides the novel, there are also a few 'textbooks' ', you must have read it, tell me, do you feel excited and want to practice it yourself?"

I broke his arm with all my strength, and after a long time, I was so tired that I was out of breath, "Let go of me, James!"

"Let's talk~" he said in a disgustingly sweet voice, "Do you like my gift? You should also go to London during the social season next year. I will take you to see the world and have a good time. Before the grave of marriage, let’s talk about some wonderful love affairs. Oh, don’t thank me too much, I’m such a good brother~”

"Thank you so much!" I sarcastically gritted my teeth, grabbed the tender flesh on the inside of his arm and twisted it hard, and he released me with a low scream.

"Cruel-hearted Henry." He moaned and retreated while clutching his wound.

I was about to retaliate when I heard Carl's voice not far away: "Henry, Earl of Cornwall, what are you doing..."

I let out a sigh of relief. Although James is very unreliable, he can still maintain the most basic manners in front of outsiders.

"It's nothing, Mr. Hockley, we two brothers are just fighting." James said politely, "Then I'll leave first, and I've made an appointment with Rose to go horseback riding later, so go get busy."

After James disappeared at the end of the corridor, Carl came over and said, "Your relationship looks good. I've never seen you so lively and happy."

"Lively and happy?" I smiled, "I thought he was jumping because of being angry. But I have known him since birth, and we are playmates who grew up together, so the relationship is naturally better than others. By the way, Carl, I I plan to buy tractors and rotary cultivators first, and asked the people below to prepare a list and information of several machinery factories in the county for me. If you have time now, can you help me find out which one is better?"

Carl smiled slightly, "I am very happy. Let's go to the study and talk."

After discussing carefully all morning, we finally decided that we wanted to go to the machinery factory for an on-the-spot inspection before making a decision. It is estimated that we can see half of the machinery factory before Christmas, and the rest will be discussed after Christmas.

Carl offered to go with me.I said gratefully: "I originally invited you to stay as a guest, but in the end it turned into squeezing your rest time to help me manage the manor. I really don't know how to thank you."

"I'd be happy to do something for you. However, if you want to be grateful..." He leaned on the sofa and looked at me with a smile on his lips. I pressed my thumb on it and rubbed it hard a few times, then raised my face slightly, looked at it for a long time, then let go of me, and sat back.

"There is an ink mark." He said lightly, "It's gone."

My face turned red.I actually thought he was trying to kiss me just now.Such a strong and irresistible action instantly reminded me of what I saw last night.I suddenly felt that my pants were a little tight.

"No, no more?" I nervously rubbed my chin again, "Thank you... Ah, where did we just talk?"

"Say thanks, you said you want to thank me." He put down the pen in his hand, crossed his fingers on his lower abdomen, "If you want to thank me, you can think about what Christmas gift to give me. I don't need expensive gifts, But be real, dear Henry, be real and serious. I want a gift like this."

"Of course," I hid my hands behind my back, pinching my palms with my nails to focus myself, "but if you're not careful, it doesn't suit you, don't be so angry that you leave me and go back to the United States."

The lunch changing gong began to echo muffled through the castle, so we went back to our room to change.

I stood blankly in front of the changing mirror, waiting for George to come in and change my clothes, but I was still reminiscing about the scene in the study just now.

His fingers were warm, strong, but not rough.The fingers are long, but they are not slender and fragile, but they seem to be full of strength. When jumping on the keys, they are extraordinarily beautiful.

Thinking about it, I think I'm starting to blush again.

"Sorry, master, I'm late." George pushed the door open, and was about to help me unbutton my shirt, when he raised his hand, he just stood there, "Oh, God, master, your chin... ...I'll get you a towel."

I watched him rushing into the bathroom in a strange way, and when I looked back at the dressing mirror again, I found that there was a blue ink mark on my chin, which looked like it was wiped with my fingers .But I don't remember rubbing my face with the hand that held the pen.

And when George was carefully wiping my chin with a towel, a thought suddenly popped into my mind, it couldn't be Carl...

I couldn't help but burst out laughing, thinking of Carl secretly smearing his thumb with a pen in a position where I couldn't see, and then calmly rubbing the ink on my face, this kind of image is far from his usual image The action is simply too funny.

Hearing my laughter, George asked, "Master, what makes you so happy?"

"It's nothing." I suppressed a smile and said, "It's just that I suddenly discovered another side of a person."