in the center of the universe

"We haven't communicated for a long time, do you feel a little disgusted with me?"

"How come, Uncle Ma is still Uncle Ma, I still believe in you the most. So I called you as soon as something happened."

"Thank you for your trust and candor. Can we talk about this incident?"

"Okay."

"Can you tell me what happened in detail?"

"Okay. After the date, Meimei refused to let me see him off, but I still hoped to see him return to the dormitory safely, so I followed him for a while. After coming out of the KTV, he took a taxi. I didn't I know him very well, if he hadn't got off the car halfway, I would have almost lost him. When I turned the corner, he was already entangled by that man."

"During the time he was in the KTV, you have been waiting outside?"

"Yeah, I want to watch him go back safely."

"Why did you get out of the car with a car fire extinguisher? Is it because of a dangerous instinct, or do you just want to kill everyone who has plans for Meimei?"

"Hahahaha Uncle Ma, isn't your question too inductive? Meimei was unconscious at the time, and it was obvious that he didn't want to."

"How can you be sure that he is not willing? With all due respect, he did not shy away from exchanging his body for money in front of me. Maybe they just had some small disputes."

"Uncle Ma, why do you think so extreme about taking precautions before they happen. Killing people doesn't make me happy, I thought you knew that."

"But you did not hesitate to attack the other party's vital parts that may be fatal - we only found out that he was a fugitive murderer after the fact. Under the circumstances at that time, you were not serious about hurting others. Would you be concerned?"

"Meimei was almost strangled to death, why should I worry, there is no need for that."

"That is, you don't rule out the possibility of 'killing someone' if you deem it necessary."

"Isn't this normal? Why do you say it so seriously?"

"Are you so angry because the victim is Meimei?"

"Uncle Ma, don't attribute the problem to Meimei, it's not fair. Going back to the source, the reason for the conversation between you and me in this situation has nothing to do with Meimei, does it?"

"...Okay, let me change the question, what kind of relationship do you want to develop with Meimei?"

"I don't know how close the relationship is. But I want to know him better, get closer to him, see more of him, and feel his strength."

"His power? What power?"

"I've said it before, he's a walking little bomb, a poisonous and delicious little pufferfish, the explosion, the toxin is his power."

"Are you obsessed with his dangerous charm, aren't you afraid that he will hurt you?"

"Hurt? My god Uncle Ma, your definition of hurt confuses me. Quite the opposite—he healed me, and I've never been more active in my life."

"Positive, do you think your performance after meeting him is positive, better than before?"

"Of course, it depends on who's looking at it, right? I've become dangerous from your and Grandpa's point of view, haven't I?"

"I don't deny it. You said that you want to know him better, but have you ever thought about how he will think of you after knowing your experience?"

"To be honest, I don't know. I know he likes the sex/love and money I bring, which doesn't mean he has further interest in me. But if he has any doubts about me, I won't hide it."

"You mean he hasn't questioned your behavior until now?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Even if you followed him half the night and then smashed a man's skull in front of his face?"

"Your emotions are affected, Uncle Ma, the words are too extreme, can you calm down?"

"Feel sorry--"

"Back to your question, Meimei stopped me from 'crushing my skull'. Maybe he thinks I'm the same as you. The difference is that he doesn't care."

"If he is afraid of you and cannot accept you, will you be sad?"

"Of course, but I haven't seen him scared, and honestly I want to see it, maybe it will excite me."

"If his fear excites you, do you deepen that fear?"

"I'm not sure, I need to balance."

"What are the trade-offs?"

"Whether the excitement that scares him or the desire to be intimate with him appeals to me more."

"So although you are obsessed with him and prevent me from evaluating him 'unfairly' and preventing others from infringing on him, you will ignore his wishes for your own desires and will not hesitate to hurt him? Is this understandable?"

"I don't know, as I said, there are trade-offs. I don't know how he will react, and I don't know how he will react to me. It's all unknown."

"..."

"About this, Uncle Ma, can you answer a question for me?"

Ma Qianjia turned off the recorder, took off the earphones, and put them all in the handbag.Glancing at the upper floor of the empty lobby, the four big characters of the special needs ward hanging on the wall are looking down at him.After pressing the elevator on the fifth floor, he knocked on the door in front of Room 507.

"Is the pony here?" Sun Lingxian who opened the door warmly greeted him.Although she is a bit old, her short hair is still jet-black, with fashionable curls, and she wears an embroidered shawl around her jacquard skirt.

"Laoguan is waiting for you, you guys talk, I'll go for a stroll." Sun Lingxian said.

Ma Qianjia said "Hey".After she went out and closed the door, she walked into the living room.Guan Jingyuan was watering the flowers with his back facing him, a half-dead money tree.After pouring half of the pot of water, I gave up and threw the pot on the window sill: "I can't feed myself."

"This flower needs to be watered less in autumn."

Guan Jingyuan motioned for him to sit down, stroked back her sparse and all-white hair with both hands: "How is Guan Zang?"

Ma Qianjia pinched the bag in his hand and coughed: "It's fine, nothing unusual."

Guan Jingyuan glanced at him and let out a laugh in her throat. The 80-year-old's eyes were cloudy and sharp, staring at Ma Qianjia's heart, and couldn't help talking: "The incident happened suddenly, and it was to save people—"

"Okay, okay. Director Liu has told me, I know the situation." Guan Jingyuan interrupted him, "You really love him, pony." Reaching out for a teapot, Ma Qianjia quickly picked it up and poured it for him on.

"You can figure it out, or go abroad when you're ready. Find a suitable place, and he can study whatever he wants. Anyway, the money left for him is enough to spend in his life."

Ma Qianjia didn't speak for a long time, the sound of Guan Jingyuan drinking tea filled the air.

"This child's life is not good. Thanks to you taking care of him for so many years, it was right to find you back then. Thank you for your hard work. He's almost fifty, and he doesn't have a wife yet."

Ma Qianjia gave a dry laugh.

"If at the beginning—" Guan Jingyuan didn't continue, she put down her teacup, and patted her thighs with both hands, "It's not like before. If you fart a lot and become an official, you can't wait to hit you, and the stock price will drop on the news. ...In short, Xiaoma, you must watch out for Guan Zang, and don't make friends with some messy people."

"I know."

"Late like his mother."

Ma Qianjia gritted his teeth, lowered his head, and said in a low voice, "No, Guanzang won't."

After being silent for a long time, Guan Jingyuan asked, "Is there anything else?"

"No more, then I'll go back." Ma Qianjia stood up and was about to leave. When he walked to the door, Guan Jingyuan asked him: "Guan Zang is recent, have you asked me?"

Ma Qianjia looked back, Guan Jingyuan arched her back and looked down at the empty teacup.

"I asked, let me tell you, don't worry, take it easy."

Guan Jingyuan nodded, wanted to say something but didn't say anything.

Ma Qian's family left the ward and went downstairs, while Sun Lingxian was sitting in the lobby looking at the flowers, "Ah, are you leaving now?"

"Hey, let's go."

"Is Guan Zang okay? Are you busy studying? Go home and have a meal when you have time. I haven't seen him for a long time."

Ma Qianjia nodded again and again, "It's really busy. I don't know much about his major. He always goes out to do research and so on. He often travels across several provinces, and they are all in rural areas."

Sun Lingxian smacked her lips: "Oh, it's true, but that's better than going to work, there are not so many things, worry-free, and simple."

"Yes Yes."

"Xiao Ma, this child is the closest to you, please take care of him," Sun Lingxian took his hand and patted it, "It's been so hard in Guanzang, he's the only one left in the whole family."

Passing through the long corridor, the number of people gradually increased.Compared with the special needs ward, the outpatient hall of two worlds was so crowded that it was almost impossible for Ma Qianjia to move.After returning to the car and turning on the ignition, he sat on the seat for a while, suddenly lost his temper and beat the steering wheel like crazy.

In the hospital parking lot, a car horn beeped inexplicably.

After venting for a long time without moving, he reached for the bag, took out the recorder and earphones, and continued to listen.

"About this, Uncle Ma, can you answer a question for me?"

"what is the problem?"

"Why do people have so much fear?"

"Generally speaking, fear is an instinct, a natural binding force, the instinct that allows human beings and life to survive in nature, and allows us to avoid those dangers and unknowns. Sometimes, it is precisely what we care most about. things are closely related, for example, mother's fear is usually related to the child. No one is really completely fearless, there is just something to let him overcome. I think the appropriate sense of fear has a positive effect on life-note, I Not to encourage you to instill fear for Meimei."

"I understand, I was just thinking, do people without fear lack something necessary?"

"I think so. Someone who thinks there's 'nothing to be afraid of', in most cases means 'nothing to care about'."

"I care about Meimei, will I feel fear because of it?"

"Then ask yourself: Did you ever have the fear of losing him when he was attacked?"

"I didn't because I was there and I wouldn't let him have an accident."

"Imagine if you weren't there? When you saw him again, he was out of breath."

After a long period of silence and the sound of breathing, Guan Zang suddenly smiled softly and said, "That's such a pity. I'm going to attend the fifth funeral."