in the center of the universe

Alice was born in an incubator, small and wrinkled.Ma Qianjia followed suit, and if it wasn't for the different races, he would almost have been recognized as Alice's father.

"If one day I can't see this child, I will die." Guan Lehua's words blocked Guan Jingyuan's idea of ​​abandoning this mixed-race child.Alice's heart function is not good, so she may live to a certain age.The local hospital couldn't do major heart surgery and had to go to Beijing. It was impossible for Guan Jingyuan to take them there. When Alice could come out of the incubator, she took her mother and three back to their hometown.

Alice's only sphere of activity was at home, and she never went out of the gate once, never went to school or read a day.Like a little flower that cannot see the sun for a lifetime, it blooms in the corner, and then withers, quietly, no one knows.

With blue eyes and brown curly hair, Alice looks like a little girl who walked out of a fairy tale book.Personality is very similar to Guan Lehua, a bit introverted, shy, innocent and fantasizing.Guan Zang told her "Alice in Wonderland" and "The Daughter of the Sea", and she could dream with Guan Lehua all day long.Ma Qianjia had been with her for two years. One day when Alice was eight years old, Guan Zang said to him, "Uncle Ma, Alice is not breathing."

The small coffin was reduced to ashes, and soon after that, Ma Qianjia and Guan Zang sent Guan Lehua away again.The ashes of the mother and daughter were buried together.

"I haven't received a comprehensive treatment in my life. It's a miracle that her heart persisted until she was eight years old." Ma Qianjia wiped the corners of her eyes, as if she didn't want to recall. "Forget it, why am I telling you these things, you can ask Guan Zang later, he will tell you everything anyway."

Yan Ke stood up abruptly and kicked the chair away.

"Then Guan Zang did lose his mother and sister because of his grandfather—so you should tell me where his grandfather is!"

"Do you think Guan Zang will kill his grandfather?! Why? For whom? For you? Guan didn't kill you when he beat you, but now?!" Ma Qianjia yelled, "Do you feel too good about yourself!"

Yan Keji laughed, "Ma Qianjia, are you a fool? Guan Zang is fucking for you! It's because you almost died in a suspicious car accident!"

"what?"

"You bastard, you treat him as a half-son, but he regards you as his only father! You said you were going to leave, didn't you see that he was about to cry?"

"To be able to completely hide a child for eight years, I have to say, Grandpa, you really put in a lot of effort." Guan Zang said.

Guan Jingyuan opened her eyes, but one side was already not working well.Said: "You hate grandpa."

Guan Zang felt a little troubled, "Do you hate it? I don't know either. What connects me and you now is the death of grandma, mother and Alice - there is, and only this. Deep and close, more inseparable than blood."

"Everything Grandpa is doing now is for you. If you are well, Guanda should be yours." Guan Jingyuan said slowly, he seemed tired, and the saliva dripped down the corners of his crooked mouth, Guan Zang Carefully wipe it off for him, looking into his eyes.

"Mom is gone, Alice is gone, what do I want Guanda to do." The medicine was falling in the infusion set little by little, and Guanzang watched its trajectory in fascination. "When I saw you crying in front of your mother, I decided to prepare a funeral for you. When the time is right, I will send you to meet your mother. You can say 'I'm sorry' to her face to face.

"I may not hate you so much, but I'd be very happy if you were dead."

Guan Jingyuan's breathing became short of breath, but she didn't say anything.

"Even if you prevented me from being with Keji, I never thought of bringing this time forward. Of course, if Keji dies because of you, then I will not hesitate to kill everyone I think deserves to die," Guan Zang said. Gradually, it landed on the back of Guan Jingyuan's hand, and looked up at his grandfather again, showing a regretful smile: "But no matter what you do, you shouldn't touch Uncle Ma."

The medicine bag was about to dry out, so Guanzang closed the valve and changed a bottle of medicine.

"Do you think that when he hears that you let him elope with me, he will go away happily? Because you are still there, Ma Qianjia! You have been with him for more than ten years, and you can't tell how much you mean to him." Is it important?!" Yan Keji yelled at him recklessly, "The last straw that crushes him is not me, but you!"

"This is all your guesswork, maybe it's exaggerated..."

"Give me the address, don't fuck me!" Yan Keji cursed impatiently, and grabbed the collar of his hospital gown: "You have never been able to figure out where you are all your life, do you think Guan Zang is the same as you? !"

Yan Keji blew out like a gust of wind, and his anxiety and sorrow turned into dark clouds, surrounding Ma Qian's family. "No, this kid... doesn't like me that much." He told himself. "I, I keep watching him and taking care of him." He started calling Guan Zang, one after another.No one answered.Ma Qianjia looked around, but could only see white walls.He pressed his palms to his heart, so oppressed that he couldn't breathe.

"Uncle Ma, Mom is gone, will you go?" Guan Zang once asked him this way after sending off Guan Lehua.

"I won't go, I promised your mother, I will stay with you."

Guan Zang didn't say anything, just let out a "huh".

"There are only a few people I care about in this world, including you, Uncle Ma."

"—how could it be, I trust Uncle Ma the most."

"I thought Uncle Ma would understand me."

Ma Qianjia covered his face with one hand, and desperately beat his immobile leg, like a trapped animal, howling in despair.

Yan Keji had never been to the special needs ward, so he got off the car from the inpatient department and had to go through several corridors.He took off his high heels and ran on the cold tile floor.

"I wanted to give him a little warning, but I didn't do anything. I just took back the computer. After all, he went to meet that reporter behind my back, and because your mother has a grudge against me." Guan Jingyuan said. "The car accident was an accident."

Guan Zang smiled, "It doesn't matter, you will always do it, don't you?" He put his finger on the valve of the infusion set. "Except for my grandmother, when every family member left, I accompanied him—including my father. I listened to him call my name, and I became weaker and silent. I think this is what a family member should do."

Guan Jingyuan looked at his grandson, just watched, without speaking, without struggling, the anger and sadness all subsided on his crooked face.The grandfather and grandson looked into each other's eyes, for the first time and the last time.

He saw his daughter getting married, saw Guan Zang just born, holding his index finger in her soft little hands; saw Guan Lehua, a child, bouncing around, wearing a small flower padded jacket, and combing the croiss braid he made clumsily; he saw The young Guan Yi jumped off the train that had just started and threw herself into his arms.

And he saw the photo of the strange grandmother at the funeral, it was the old lady who stretched out her hand from the iron fence not long ago, grabbed him and asked "children, do you know me?"; he saw those workers wearing white flowers to attend Father's farewell ceremony, whispering; he saw Alice wanting to tell her a story by himself, closed his eyes, and saw his mother guarding his sister's lifeless body, unwilling to leave; he saw his mother's last words said with a smile : "Mom won't leave you."

He saw the factory closed down, and the former senior technician was riding a tricycle on the street. His pension and savings would become the only source of income for the Guan family;Do you want to make progress?Is the joint venture gone?Will discord be defeated?He saw the red guards smashing the doors of those capitalists and criticizing them. Overnight, several old friends and opponents died.

And he saw his grandfather saying to his mother, "He has changed, let's live a good life with him and have a baby"; he saw his grandfather's unmoved face about to abandon Alice; he saw his grandfather loved his father more than himself daughter; he saw his father's silent and fierce face, and said that he "doesn't look like me, who is it?"

They each see their own lives, there is no right or wrong, no matter right or wrong.The last sorrow and joy have nothing to do with right or wrong, like trajectories that never intersect, never connect, and fly apart.

"Guan Zang! Are you there? Guan Zang!"

The knocking on the door and shouting brought the two souls back to reality.Seeing his grandson, Guan Jingyuan suddenly panicked, like a child, at a loss: "Hey...how could it be...what should I do? It's over, he's going to be angry."

"Cao your mother, let me go! I'm fucking looking for someone!"

When the security guard came, there was a dispute outside and a scuffle broke out.The special needs ward is the same as the cadre ward, which is not available for ordinary people.In the middle of the night, an unkind stranger barged in. How would the hospital explain what happened?

Guan Zang stared at the door and murmured, "Keji—"

Yan Keji is not a soft persimmon, if you stop me, I will scold you, if you scold me, I will beat you - if you can't beat me, beat me first.He used both hands and feet, using high heels as a weapon. The two security guards couldn't handle him. They used the walkie-talkie to call for someone, but they were suddenly grabbed by one hand.

"He came to see me, I misunderstood." Guan Zang opened the door and said.Yan Keji kicked him into the house and locked the door.In a high-grade ward with one bedroom and one living room, there is a woman lying on the sofa in the living room, asleep and breathing evenly; the old man in the wheelchair in the bedroom is tilting his head, staring at him with cloudy eyes.are still alive.

Guan Zang stood aside, clutching his kicked stomach.

Yan Keji's wig has long since disappeared, he has a flat head, and one of his big round earrings was ripped off. He grabbed his high-heeled shoes with both hands and hit his nose while fighting with security guards. His nosebleed flowed into his mouth. , and the blood was smeared on people.

"Keep yourself..."

Yan Keji rushed over and punched Guan Zang, Guan Zang fell to the ground, Yan Keji jumped up and rode on him with the toe of his shoe against his throat: "What the hell did you promise me?! Is what you said a fart?! "

Guan Zang saw it again, burning in Yan Keji's eyes, the arrow like fire.

The arrow pierced his heart, leaving him dead and born again.