Of Mountains and Rivers

For so many days, Nanshan didn't even dare to touch him with a finger, and there seemed to be something between the two of them.

Nanshan has been like a trapped animal for many days, bewildered and bewildered. With this posture, if he doesn't express anything, it will be impossible to justify.

He lowered his head and sealed Chu Huan's lips, but felt that the other person's whole body tightened obviously.

For such an extremely quick moment, Chu Huan raised his chin slightly, as if he wanted to raise his head to avoid it, but there was a door behind him, and he had nowhere to retreat, so he had to cooperate absent-mindedly.

Nan San held him tightly in his arms, but he felt that what he was holding tightly in his hands was not a person, but a handful of sand, the tighter he held, the faster he would lose.

He became more and more at a loss for a while, and said incoherently: "I'm sorry, I... I'm sorry..."

"Well," Chu Huan nodded indifferently, pinched Nanshan's chin, pulled him over and kissed him lightly, "It's okay."

After finishing speaking, he let Nanshan pass, and rolled up his shirt sleeves, as if he was going to wash off the smell of alcohol, his attitude was almost strangely calm.

Nanshan couldn't bear it anymore, and hugged him from behind: "Can you talk to me? Chu Huan, I beg you...don't be like this..."

There is no light in the house, only the moonlight coming in through the window, the shadows of long bows and short knives in the house are faint.

Chu Huan stared at the shadow there, and the impeccable smile on his face gradually disappeared. After a long time, he said almost inaudibly: "Do you really believe..."

Nanshan: "What?"

Chu Huan came back to his senses, and swallowed the ending and the next sentence into his throat.

He didn't intend to make Nanshan suspect that he was crazy.

These days, Chu Huan has not been able to wake up from the dream-like fire. He really wants to live the rest of his life heartlessly, such as getting drunk once and having a big fight with Nanshan , In the future, whether to break up or reconcile will be discussed...but it doesn't work.

Chu Huan just couldn't convince himself that all this was real, not his own imagination, nor was it an illusion imposed on him by something.

For several days in a row, Chu Huan pretended to be asleep the whole night. When he looked at Nanshan in the dead of night, he couldn't help reaching out to touch it secretly, but after touching it, he felt that it was unnecessary.

If what he sees and hears is false, then according to this logic, what he encounters may not necessarily be true.

He tried countless times to convince himself that he was living in the real world down-to-earth, but he couldn't find any evidence.

There is nothing in the world that can convince him anymore, his mind seems to be still trapped in the endless darkness of loneliness, in front of the seed at the end of the world, whether in the crowd or in the downtown area, he is alone .

It's like a weightless person whose feet can't step on the ground no matter what.

Chu Huan suddenly realized that as long as he lives for a day, he will not be able to determine whether he is living in reality or in illusion. From this point of view, it seems that only by blowing the lamp and pulling out the wax can we achieve the same goal by different routes.

As soon as this thought flashed, Chu Huan's slightly empty eyes seemed to be a little clearer, and he decided not to waste himself half-dead like this.

Thinking of this, Chu Huan raised his hand and put it on the back of Nanshan Huan's hand on his chest, raised his long eyebrows, and chuckled nonchalantly: "It's nothing—beauty, you hug me so passionately and don't let go. What are you doing?"

Nanshan said in a hoarse voice, "Can't you have a nice word with me?"

Chu Huan broke away from Nanshan's arms, went to the bed and sat down, unbuttoned his collar: "Well, let me tell you seriously, the gate of the mountain will turn back in a few days, right?"

After Nan Shan froze for a moment, he seemed to know what he was going to say, his face turned pale suddenly, and his back stiffened involuntarily.

Chu Huan, however, seemed unaware of the extremely awkward silence between the two, and said to himself: "I tell you my life, I will leave when it turns around, what are you... life and death contract or something, I don't care. intend to comply."

"So do you want to kill me today? Or sleep with me?" Chu Huan moved his bare neck: "It's okay, come on."

Nan Shan didn't say a word for a long time, as if he was knocked alive by the thunderbolt from the blue sky, Chu Huan thought that Nan Shan would be furious.But after waiting for a long time, Nanshan didn't say anything from the beginning to the end.

In the dark, Chu Huan saw that he seemed to have taken something from the bed, and then walked towards him silently.

Nanshan bent down, gently held his shoulders, raised Chu Huan's chin, and fell on his lips with a warm kiss, as if trying to pry open his lips.

Chu Huan made up his mind, whether it was a bloody knife or a lingering love, he would never refuse anyone, so he accepted Nanshan graciously.However, the next moment, he felt that Nanshan pushed something into his mouth.

Chu Huan: "Well..."

He almost instinctively swallowed it down, but was hooked by Nanshan, barely stopping the thing on the tip of his tongue.

Until then, a belated sweetness came from the tip of the tongue, and Nanshan had already retreated.

Chu Huan was stunned, and found that Nanshan stuffed a piece of toffee into his mouth—it was brought back when he went out to buy and sell things with Horse Whip and Dashan.

"Is it sweet?" Nanshan asked softly in his ear.

Chu Huan: "...um."

Nan Shan never mentioned anything that Chu Huan said just now under his madness, but whispered in his ear: "It smells like milk, but it doesn't look like it. What else is in it?"

Chu Huan seemed to have not recovered, and said casually: "Food essence? Uh...you..."

Nan Shan bit his lips and snatched back the half-melted candy.

At the beginning, Nanshan's movements were still extremely clumsy, but now it seems that practice makes perfect, and it is a bit slippery. He savored it carefully for a while, and said to Chu Huan: "I still feel a little sticky to the teeth."

Chu Huan is not in the state: "...Maybe it has expired?"

Afterwards, he heard a "click", turned his head, and a fruity aroma came to his nostrils. Nanshan broke open a fruit that he didn't know what it was, took a bite himself, and handed the other half to Chu Huan's mouth. What does it mean - what is it?The apple from Snow White's stepmother?

He hesitated and lowered his head to bite Nanshan's hand. Immediately, a wave of extreme sourness washed over his taste buds that were still in the tender village just after eating sugar, so sour that he couldn't speak for a while.

Nanshan laughed softly: "That's sweet, that's sour."

Then, he put his finger to Chu Huan's mouth: "Can you try this again?"

Chu Huan keenly heard a nasal sound, hesitated for a moment, and licked lightly according to his words. This time, he tasted salty and bitter.

It's tears.

Chu Huan: "You..."

Nanshan stretched out his palm, covered his eyes, and pressed his head to his chest: "This is suffering."

Nanshan's heart beat a little fast, and Chu Huan could hear his excitement.

In the daze of not touching the ground, at that moment, Chu Huan seemed to have heard Nanshan's unfinished words.

This means... there are sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy tastes in the world, do you and I taste the same one?

Nanshan's chest rose and fell slightly, and there was a slight vibration in his chest between his words: "It's my fault, since you don't want to talk to me, just listen to me, okay?"

Chu Huan's eyes were covered by him, and he remained silent in the darkness.

Nanshan: "I was entangled with those skeletons underwater. Yuan Ping cut the rope and sank into the shadows out of my reach. There was a 'buzz' in my head at that time, but not only because he was the gatekeeper. Dude—you know what I was thinking?"

The incident that Chu Huan deliberately forgot but could not forget, suddenly came out of Nanshan's mouth from another angle, and Chu Huan didn't know how to answer for a while.

Then he heard Nanshan say quietly: "I thought at the time, if you found out, how uncomfortable would you be?"

Chu Huan suddenly didn't want to listen anymore, and struggled in his hands, but was locked on the bed by Nanshan with an invisible air current.

"Later, you didn't ask anything, and you glanced over, as if you understood everything. When I saw your eyes at that time, I felt out of breath," Nanshan said, "I thought at the time, even if I was smashed to pieces, I must To follow you to the end..."

"Stop it!" Chu Huan interrupted him with a low growl.

Nanshan turned a deaf ear: "But I broke my promise, I knew what you were going to do when you took out the dagger, and then you said that you begged me—"

Nanshan's voice paused and he groaned. It turned out that Chu Huan couldn't break free, so he turned his head and bit Nanshan's hand.

Nan Shan didn't even hide, he just let him bite, and it wasn't until Chu Huan tasted the blood that he realized that he was suffering from rabies, and suddenly let go of his teeth.

"It hurts." Nanshan said in a low voice, "When you begged me, I hurt a hundred times more than this... Well, a hundred times, a thousand times."

Chu Huan calmed down slowly.

After a long silence, he asked, "What does it feel like to be swallowed?"

Nanshan: "There are joys all around me, and I only care about my heartache."

Chu Huan: "Can you see me?"

"Yes." Nanshan lowered his head and kissed his hair, "but not with my eyes, my five sense organs seem to be connected together, and I can feel everything—I saw you kneeling on the top of the mountain, I saw the blood on your hands, I saw The flames on the scepter burned out, and I saw Xiaolu sending you off with the dying fire in his arms..."

Chu Huan suddenly trembled.

"I also saw the fire light go on and off, and I saw the shadows surrounding you. For a moment, I even heard the voice in your heart, but when I was almost desperate, I saw the holy fire. I saw you surrounded by the holy fire, anxious It's terrible, I thought to myself, if you need the holy fire and fuel, you should burn me... It turns out that the rules of 'it' are still there, and my wish came true, and the flames on your body really extended all the way and burned on me."

When Nanshan said this, he let go of Chu Huan's confinement, opened his arms, hugged him full, and said in a low voice: "I have never felt so warm in my life. I felt that I was with you at that time. I heard someone behind me Countless voices said layer by layer, 'Burn me, burn me', I can't turn back because of the rules, but I can feel and imagine the flames spreading all the way."

Chu Huan heard a soft sound in the darkness, and then, a ball of fire lit up, and Nanshan lit the bedside lamp.

Chu Huan's pupils shrank suddenly, and he couldn't help reaching out his hand to block it, and then bumped into Nanshan's eyes.

Nanshan sighed: "I've been with you all the time, it's not some illusion."

This sentence was like a secret word to undo the curse. At that moment, Chu Huan seemed to have fallen from a very high place, and the disappearing gravity was suddenly added to him, and his feet landed heavily, like a dream in the silent world Fang wakes up.

"Do you know what else I saw later?" Nanshan's eyes were red, but the corner of his mouth was smiling, "I saw the sunset sinking into the boundless sea, I saw a weak bud growing on a dead branch, I saw the ignorant The seagull shook its feathers, and saw a little snake crawling out of the ashes...a little thicker than a thumb."

Nanshan's ten fingers intertwined with him and stuck to his chest, his voice trembled slightly for a while: "I will never leave you a second time, do you believe me?"

Chu Huan didn't answer for a long time, and then, he answered an irrelevant question, but asked the first question related to that journey since returning from the fall: "Where's the scepter? Is it burnt?"

Nanshan said softly: "Well, the burning is over, but there will be more in the future."

Chu Huan nodded, and suddenly felt exhausted from the heart, as if he had never slept in his life, he turned his head slightly and leaned against Nanshan's arms, almost before he could close his eyes, he fell into a deep sleep In sleep, the nestled neck caused the ring on Nanshan's hand to press a small mark on the side of his neck.

The three words "to tease you" finally failed to accompany him all the time, but the hand carrying these three words gave him a new fulcrum.

Chu Huan slept for two whole days, and passed through this time of the mountain gate inversion unconsciously.

Dimly, he seemed to hear some brats outside shouting "Bitch King", but Chu Huan ignored it and just turned over.

At the same time, in the cave where a pile of unusable guns and bullets were stored, veterans like wax statues moved slowly one after another, rubbing their eyes, and looked around the cave and their companions in confusion or shock.

As long as you are not dead, you are still alive.

Before Chu Huan fell into a deep sleep, he actually had another question in his mind-what is in the walnut called "Holy Fire"?

But he didn't ask because he already knew the answer.

There is a world in a walnut.

"Even though I was shut in a nutshell, I still thought myself the king of infinite space." - Shakespeare.

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