Leftover temperature

——“Am I going to die?”

Si Jinqing was taken aback, and suddenly panicked for no reason, and her usually calm breathing suddenly became disordered.

What is he afraid of?

Yanyan's illness is still at an early stage, the doctor said that the condition is stable, the hospital can't fake it, even if it can be faked, what can escape his investigation?

Yanyan was just too uncomfortable.

He has been suffering all these years.

It was his fault that he didn't stay by his side all the time and let him bear the pain alone for six years.

Now that he is here, he will not let go no matter what.

Si Jinqing's lips moved slightly, and his heart ached, so painful that he didn't even have the strength to speak for a moment.

He hugged him tightly for a while, until he felt the body in his arms warm up gradually, he got a little comfort.He said in a hoarse voice: "...No. Yanyan, I don't like to hear such words."

Xia Shenyan bent his lips weakly, looked at him with half-closed eyes slightly, and said with a soft smile: "I dreamed about Grandpa just now."

Si Jinqing's throat suddenly choked, and he was unable to say anything.

It might be because Xia Shenyan was so dazed and unconscious, so he didn't know that Si Jinqing's body was trembling slightly at this moment.

Soon Xia Shenyan seemed to wake up a little bit, and his wandering eyes suddenly fell outside the dark French window, melting into the eerie night.His eyes were calm, like a pool of stagnant water that could no longer stir up any waves.

"He lived a good life there. The house was built in the sea of ​​flowers, and there is a lake on the sea of ​​flowers. There is a tree with a whole body glowing on the shore of the lake. The flowers and leaves of that tree are very beautiful, a bit like... like Ah Zhen likes the gypsophila, the branches are very long and thick. Grandpa said that if you are tired, you can lie on the tree and sleep for a while. At night, the flowers will glow with the fireflies, and the petals will float on the lake, matching the moon. Reflections, like stars falling to the bottom of a lake..."

His voice was soft and low, as if he was speaking to Si Jinqing, but also as if he was talking to himself.

Si Jinqing listened quietly, hugged him without saying a word, lowered his eyes, his expression was dim and unclear, only the white knuckles that appeared due to the force showed a slight defeat.

"It's just that there is no sun there, and the colorful planets are so close to it during the day, so close that I can touch them as soon as I stand on my tiptoes... At night, the stars are long and bright...It's so beautiful."

Si Jinqing gritted her teeth, resisted the soreness in her throat, kissed his forehead, and said in a deep voice, "Yanyan, there is a sun in the world."

It's not there, so don't go there.

Xia Shenyan didn't answer him.

He had long since disliked the sun.

A person who has been cold all year round will turn into water when touched by warmth.When water encounters high temperature, it will disappear after being evaporated.

He has his own little selfishness, he doesn't want to disappear so completely, at least...someone remembers him.

Xia Shenyan suddenly raised his head, looking into his eyes with slack eyes.

Si Jinqing was taken aback for a moment, and quickly withdrew the emotions in his eyes. He lowered his eyes and smiled at him. He couldn't help but lowered his head and kissed the tip of his nose, and asked softly, "What's wrong?"

Xia Shenyan seemed to have finally regained some strength. He squinted his eyes and asked him warmly with a smile: "... If Yanyan dies one day, will you still remember me?"

Si Jinqing was taken aback.

Xia Shenyan pretended not to notice his mistake, and continued: "...you forget about me."

"Yanyan..."

Si Jinqing couldn't listen to such words, and called his name almost beggingly, wanting him to stop talking.

He dare not listen, he does not want to hear, he does not accept this "if".He is not invincible, he is also afraid...

But that person was so cruel at this time, and it seemed that he hadn't woken up from that dream of nothingness.

Xia Shenyan tightly grasped his wrist, and said in a anxious tone, "Listen to me."

Si Jinqing pursed her lips tightly and did not interrupt him again.

Xia Shenyan raised his eyelids, his eyelashes fluttered slightly, and said in a low voice: "My things are all in the small compartment of the closet. There are four bank cards in the small white iron box on the top of the compartment... all written named."

"One is for Dad. He has been trying to make a comeback all these years. He was much older when I visited him last time... There are about 4000 million in it, and I don't know if it's enough... He always refuses to accept me I often send money to me. Do you know? In fact, my father was very good to me. Even after my grandfather passed away and he and my mother divorced, he still loved me...I know...he was desperate. I sent it to my mother, he was afraid that I would suffer hardships with him... I don't have much time to go back to see him and grandma in the past five years..."

"Yanyan..." Si Jinqing was suddenly flustered and at a loss for what to do.

Xia Shenyan's tone and the content of his words made him shudder.Words are like knives, piercing the heart and bone like gouging out blood.

But he didn't know whether he didn't hear his words at all or he was still confused, and continued to murmur to himself: "If I really... leave, don't tell grandma, the old man is old, Don't scare her..."

"Yanyan, I don't want to listen to..." Si Jinqing's arms around him were trembling.

"There is one in it for my grandma. It has 500 million. I am afraid that she will be angry with me. She will not use the money sent to her. Grandma is used to living an ordinary life with her grandpa. Now she is running around with her father. She doesn't know her. Are you used to it..." Xia Shenyan rubbed against his arms, seemed a little tired, narrowed his eyes slightly, and his voice became softer.

"The third card...is for my mother. I have no use for the money she called me over the years. I have saved it all on that card. I don't know how long or how much I have saved it. I know that my mother is in Nie's house. , I don’t lack the little money I earned myself, so I didn’t leave much for her, but at least... I still have to send this money back to her. "

In terms of emotion and reason, no matter how you say it, it seems that Xia Shenyan has no relationship with her except in blood relationship.Qi Xuechun has given Xia Shenyan a lot of money over the years. He is 29 years old this year and she is still sending him money. She seems to have done what a mother should do.

But what he lacks is this money?

The mother has long lost the ability to work, and the source of income is basically the Nie family.That is to say, the money Qi Xuechun sent him was actually from the Nie family, so Xia Shenyan couldn't ask for it.

He is not qualified to receive the money because of no relationship or reason.

This card should also be used to pay off the debt, mother.

"...There is another one, it's for Ah Zhen."

When this name is mentioned, Xia Shenyan's tone will always soften unconsciously, as if it has become a habit naturally.

After all, this girl named "Ah Zhen" was all the brilliance in his barren life, and his Ah Zhen will always be his tenderness.

It's a pity that as an older brother, he doesn't deserve such a good her.

"...Ah Zhen." Xia Shenyan blinked helplessly, tears would only run across the corners of his eyes when it was dark.

In this way, no one will see his fragility and longing.

"Ah Zhen, she still hates me..." Xia Shenyan smiled wryly.

Si Jinqing closed his eyes, and gently wiped the moisture from the corners of his eyes with soft fingertips.

"I don't know how much is in this card. It's probably... more than 1000 million. It's my last savings. I leave this money to her. I only hope that she will live a safe and joyful life and be happy..."

The money Xia Shenyan earned over the years was either donated to charity, or donated in one way or another.

He has been able to endure hardships and earn a lot in these years.

Donate a little each year and save some.But he didn't save the money for himself in the first place.

"... Ah Zhen said that she never wants to see me again in this life." Xia Shenyan said bitterly, "I really failed..."

"Yanyan..." Apart from calling him over and over again, Si Jinqing didn't know what else to do.

If you want to say failure, who can have him fail.

"The last time I passed by the gate of their school, I saw her walking with a tall, handsome boy, talking and laughing happily, and they were walking forward in the light of dusk... I was sitting in the car, and suddenly felt that Ah Zhen was far away from me It's so far..." Xia Shenyan choked up and said.

Si Jinqing held back the apex of his heart, and said in a low voice: "Yanyan, you still have me."

Xia Shenyan was taken aback for a moment, but smiled when he realized it, and he murmured, "But, but you are getting married too..."

"No, I won't..." Marry.

He and Chi Beining are just making an agreement to cooperate, just acting on the spot, they won't be engaged, let alone get married.Back then, he was only afraid that the Si family would hurt Xia Shenyan in order to make him die, so he temporarily came up with this last resort plan to delay the attack; now, there is nothing that can threaten them anymore.

Si Jinqing suddenly wanted to explain to him once and for all, he wanted to tell Xia Shenyan his heart, and also let him know that he liked him and loved him.It's not the elders' love for the younger ones, nor the so-called sympathy and pity, but just liking him... wanting him.

The desire to talk has never been stronger.

However, after he gathered all the courage to break the boat, Xia Shenyan interrupted him cruelly.

"...When I die, bury me in Shixi Mountain."

Si Jinqing was stiff all over, and instantly forgot what she was about to say.And the soft leather-wrapped knife in his heart began to break through the bondage again, gouging out his flesh one by one, making him nearly suffocate, struggling in vain in the deep pool.

"Buried next to my grandpa... There is a hawthorn tree there, and in spring, the hills will be covered with greenery... It's just that the weeds grow too fast there. In the first year of grandpa's death, I didn't go there for two months Look at him, the grass is so deep..."

"The tomb containing my urn must be very small, so I have to bury it a little bit in it. I'm afraid that passers-by will step on me..."

"Yanyan, I don't want to hear it anymore..." Si Jinqing was about to collapse.

Suddenly it was dark.

But Xia Shenyan didn't seem to hear it, his thoughts were already scattered, he was in a daze, and he didn't know what he was talking about: "...Also, if I die during the new year, don't post it. The notice was sent out... quick cremation, hasty burial. But I don't want a funeral. Cancel my Weibo and other software accounts, and when the Lantern Festival is over, let Brother Lin Fu post the notice and tell the group The girl said I was leaving..."

"Probably, they are the only ones who have been waiting for me..."

"...Actually, I am very scared. I am afraid that you will feel sorry for me after I die, and I am also afraid that there will be no one who will feel sorry for me after I die."

Xia Shenyan stabbed Si Jinqing's heart carefully with a sharp knife.

"...If you have something to say, but you can't say it now, can you whisper it to me after I die?"

"I……"

I wanted to tell you just now.

"I'm a little sleepy..."

In fact, I really want to hear you say "I love you", but I am afraid that if you say this, I will be reluctant to leave.

The author has something to say:

Xia Shenyan's childhood flaws made Xia Shenyan lose everything.

If you want to say who has always been consistent, no one has changed, but the hidden concern and love infected by the world have shattered this little fool's last nostalgia for this world.

Thanks for watching.