Rebirth Bias

The day when Lu Na’s movie was premiered was a fine day, the sun was shining across the entire world, and the magnolias, which were street trees by the side of the road, seemed to have fully bloomed overnight. Full-bodied and fresh with sunshine and flowers.

Lu Ne was wearing a narrow suit, which looked a bit like a tree. Chen Shiyu was also wearing a retro suit with a brown plaid pattern. His hair was dyed a warm chestnut color. He was very handsome. When he saw Lu Ne, he suddenly grabbed his hand. hand, and whispered: "Lu Ne, I'm so nervous, look at my hands are cold."

In fact, Lu Na was also nervous, but not because he was afraid that the movie would hit the box office, but because Yang Liu was coming.

Qin Wei, who was the lead actor, also came, dressed in a royal blue dress, which was bright and charming, and Yu Fatty beside her was also well-groomed.Luo San, who is the publisher, came a bit late, and Su Er and Peach Blossom Eye came with him. Su Er was wearing a black wool and silk dress suit, embellishing him more and more like a model in a window .He didn't talk to Lu Na either, as if he was just watching a movie, with the movie brochure in his hand.On the other hand, it was peach blossom eyes. From the beginning to the end, he looked at Lu Na up and down with eyes that were similar to disgust, confusion, curiosity, and contempt.

After Luo San finished speaking with Lu Ne, the three of them entered the screening room.Lu Ne didn't see Yang Liu all this time, and seeing that the movie was about to start, Lu Ne had no choice but to enter the screening hall under Chen Shiyu's urging.

The beginning of the movie is an indoor scene, a cramped old room, tattered martial arts books and comic books are piled up in every corner of the room, a sexy poster of the goddess Guan Zhilin is pasted on the yellowed wall, an old The old electric fan was blowing loudly, turning over the chemistry books spread out on the desk, on which a turtle was drawn with a ballpoint pen.A large piece of bright sunlight shines in from outside the window, there are tiny dust dancing, the camera moves slowly, and finally comes to the small single bed, the boy wearing a white hurdler vest and blue shorts is sleeping on his back, the small single bed It was almost impossible to accommodate his long arms and legs, so Chen Bo pushed up the blue shorts in response.

Then a chubby curly-haired woman rushed into the room ferociously, grabbed the book on the desk and slammed her head at the sleeping boy, cursing, "Don't get up yet! The alarm clock has been called several times! I must have been reading idle books with a flashlight yesterday, thinking that I would not know if I was covered with a blanket! Hurry up and go to school!"

The boy was woken up by the woman, clutching his erect crotch and complaining unhappily, "They said don't come into my room casually!" While hopping to the bathroom in a hurry, a woman hated iron and steel came from behind, scolding "If you don't come in, you'll sleep to death. Last night your homeroom teacher called me again, saying that you read pornographic books in class. What do you want to do? Be a hooligan—"

The woman's voice gradually became softer. When the camera turned, it was the young man with a piece of bread in his mouth, riding a bicycle with his butt not touching the seat, and vigorously pedaling the bicycle. The young man's white short-sleeved shirt was blown up by the wind, and the street scenes on both sides Flying by quickly, everything is shining in the sun, the leaves of the camphor tree, the rim of the bicycle, the pebbles on the roadside...

Then the title of the movie appeared on the screen——

Laugh and forget the book——

love letter to myself

Dedicated to the most beloved girl.

Lu Ne quietly looked at the familiar scenes in the film, sometimes smiling, sometimes sad, as if the things in his previous life were slowly overlapping, and his memory was like a patter of rain, dim and yellow, which made people feel To lingering sadness.

At the end of the film, many years later, the male protagonist attends the heroine’s wedding. In the middle of the wedding, the male protagonist walks out of the hotel to smoke, and sees a group of seventeen or eighteen-year-old boys sitting on the road railing and whistling at passing girls. Flashback, as if I was one of those teenagers, sitting on the school wall, looking at those well-behaved students with eyes full of indifference and disdain, and my heart was full of unconventional pride, until the girl appeared in my sight——

She came from the side of the road, not very pretty, but with a kind of calmness, he seemed to smell a kind of full and clear sea water, a fragrant fragrance that made people obsessed.

Turning the camera, I returned to the classroom of my boyhood. The warm sunshine quietly sprinkled into the old classroom. This is a quiz in class. The head teacher is sitting in front of the podium, and the eyes behind the black-rimmed glasses are like a camera. Ignoring any suspicious movements, everyone lowered their heads and wrote quickly, and there was a rustling sound of pen nibs rubbing against paper in the classroom.

Only the male protagonist bit his pen and looked at the teacher arrogantly. After a while, he seemed to feel bored, took the pen out of his mouth, turned his head and looked out the window, and then slowly wrote down on the composition paper——

Then came the young male protagonist's still slightly green voice——

There is nothing new under the sun.The cheesiest thing under the sun is to write an essay on the topic of dreams.I think dreams should not be mentioned casually. They are things that you are looking up at with your neck almost broken. In this sense, I have a dream.

I have a dream, grow up quickly, marry her and go home.Build a house facing the sea, raise a dog named Julius Caesar, raise a cat named Madame Curie, watch cats and dogs fight if you have nothing to do, take your children to the park during the holidays, and have fun.

On weekdays, study, work, raise children, take care of younger generations, ordinary life is trivial and mediocre.One day, I kissed the wrinkles on her forehead, held her hand, and watched her close her no longer beautiful eyes in the sun-like tiredness.

……

The screen went black with the actor's voice, the cast and credits appeared, the lights in the auditorium were turned on, and there was a faint and suppressed cry from a girl.Lu Na stood up and looked for Yang Liu, but many people gathered around, shook hands with him, praised the movie, and some came to thank him, saying that she hadn't seen such a touching movie for several years.The words of the movie twirled in Lu Ne's ears, and then drifted away again.Suddenly, he seemed to see Yang Liu's back and wanted to chase him out, but Luo San grabbed him and dragged him to meet several media reporters for interviews.By the time it was over, it was already an hour later.

Lu Ne was a little frustrated, loosened his tie, looked up and saw Su Er standing five or six meters away from him, his black eyes were slightly closed, watching him quietly, the distance was a bit far, Lu Ne couldn't catch his eyes messages in .Chen Shiyu chased up from behind and wanted to call him. Seeing this, he tightly pursed his lips and looked at Su Er with cold eyes.

At the same time, Lu Ne saw Yang Liu, who was wearing a black woolen sweater and a Scottish plaid skirt and a windbreaker. She was sitting on a secluded step, smoking a cigarette.Almost without any suspense, his footsteps have already brought him to the side of Yangliu——

"I thought you had left long ago..." Lu Ne stood beside Yang Liu, suddenly a little like a boy in love, nervous, timid, and full of pure enthusiasm in adolescence——

Yang Liu raised her head, the corners of her lips raised, her faint smile quickly drifted away in the wind, her thin single eyelid was a little red, as if she had been crying - Lu Na knew Yang Liu, she valued too much what most women don't care about Dignity, she has a kind of pride that she doesn't intend to cry for you even if she is in pain. All the joy, sorrow, reluctance, and anger are turned into words and behaviors that are understated.

Lu Na sat down, looked at Yang Liu's white face in the thin smoke, and said, "Have you watched the movie?"

Yang Liu turned her head, looked at him and nodded with a smile.

"All my words are in there."

"I know." Still smiling and nodding.

Lu Na felt his mouth was dry, and couldn't help sticking out his tongue to lick his parched lips.Yang Liu's words sounded softly, she said: "Lu Na, I feel strange, it seems that you have known me very early, and loved me for a long time—"

Lu Ne said in his heart, I have known you for a long time, and I have loved you all my life.Yang Liu turned to look at Lu Ne's expression, smiled, stretched out his hands to pinch Lu Ne's face, and said, "Lu Ne, you are like a big boy, you are so pure that you can't help but move your heart."

Lu Na's tears almost didn't fall. When they separated, Yang Liu did the same. She carried her luggage and looked back at him, like a sister, gentle, loving, considerate, and understanding. She said, "Lu Ne, you are like a Big boy, over the years, everyone has changed, only you have not changed, that's great." For many years, Lu Ne kept thinking of Yang Liu's smile, and the slight trembling that she had never noticed before, she was just in Lu Ne's eyes. Slowly drifted away from Nen's sight, and disappeared in the night.He wondered if the darkness hid her tears, she actually has a not so tough heart——

"Lu Ne, I'm leaving. I just made the decision to go to England. You let me see the original color of life and the power to move forward. Thank you for making me feel that I am a very special girl. I also hope that in the future, there will be a girl who will stay with you calmly and forever."

Lu Ne remained silent all this time, with his head lowered, the shadow of his hair covered up the expression on his face, and only people could see his hair twirling.After a long time, he raised his head, his eyes were slightly red, he took a deep breath, showed a man's characteristic tolerant smile, and said, "Yang Liu, can I give you a ride?"

Yang Liu nodded, "Okay."

Lu Ne stood up, turned around and walked out. He saw Su Er and Chen Shiyu, but he didn't say hello to them, and walked past them to the place where he kept his motorcycle.

When he drove the motorcycle out, Yang Liu was already waiting at the bottom of the steps.Lu Ne handed her a helmet.Yang Liu took it, put it on her head, and got on the passenger seat of the motorcycle.After a few chugs, the motorcycle set off for the city with Lu Ne and his love.

The magnolias all over the city are in full bloom under the sun, decorating the city like a brocade.

The wind was blowing on his bare skin with the coldness of early spring. Lu Na knew that in a few years, in order to widen the road, the government's machetes would cut down these beautiful flowers and trees with decades of history, and replace them with wide open roads. The mighty asphalt road, and the commercial buildings and five-star hotels that have sprung up on both sides of the road.People will never see such a beautiful and sad scene like today. He wants to keep the last memory of him and Yangliu in this beautiful ancient city, and all the magnificence and prosperity in the future are irrelevant mirages. No matter how the plot was ups and downs, he just watched from the other side.

The motorcycle returned to the entrance of the cinema, Yang Liu got off, took off the helmet and returned it to Lu Ne, smiled and said, "Goodbye, Lu Ne."

Lu Na held the helmet and said nothing, watching her leaving back, the belt of the windbreaker was tied casually, outlining her slender waist, with both hands hidden in the pockets of the windbreaker, standing upright and confident, not looking back, not looking around, There is a kind of strength and tolerance coming from the bone marrow.Lu Na watched her go away, knowing that his love was also gone with her.

He couldn't help thinking, if he and Yang Liu had met later in this life, would it have been different at that point in the previous life? His rebirth, like the wings of a butterfly, not only changed his life, but also The people he cared about had gone awry.But life sucks sometimes—

"Lu Ne—"

Lu Ne turned his head and saw that it was Chen Shiyu. I don't know if he was waiting for Lu Ne. Everyone who attended the premiere had left, but he didn't leave either. Because he was only wearing a thin shirt and suit, his nose was red from the cold. He kept sniffling his nose, and his beautiful phoenix eyes were full of worry and sadness that Lu Na didn't understand.

Lu Ne waved and called, "Little Yushu, I'm broken in love, come with me for a drink."

Chen Shiyu didn't say anything, and crossed his legs into the passenger seat of the motorcycle. Just as Lu Ne was about to start it, he heard another call, "Lu Ne——"

Lu Na looked up and followed the sound, and found that it was actually Su Er, holding the half-open car door with one hand and looking at Lu Ne with an unpredictable expression.Lu Na was taken aback, "Why hasn't Second Young Master Su left yet?"

Su Er stared into Lu Ne's eyes and said calmly, "I've been following you."

Lu Na was taken aback, and didn't know what to say. He seemed to have forgotten the unhappiness with Su Er in the past, and smiled uncontrollably, "Ha, it's rare for you, Master Lu, to lose love, and you are surrounded by your grandchildren. Come on!" Come on, let's all have a drink together, please, Master Lu." At first, I thought Su Er would be dismissive, but when Lu Ne and Chen Shiyu drove their motorcycles on the road, they found that Su Er's Bugatti was actually following behind.

Lu Ne and the others went to Shuilu Guanyin, where as always, there were people from the whole S city, poets, writers, musicians, capitalists, contract workers from foreign-funded enterprises... Lu Ne seemed particularly excited, saying hello to this person, and patting that person For a while, I chatted with people about the hardships of sex workers and the spirit of advancing with the times, until on the small stage of the bar, someone hugged an acoustic guitar and began to sing——

The singer didn't look at the people in the audience, as if the outside world had nothing to do with him, holding the guitar in his arms was the whole universe, his singing voice was hoarse and forceful, without the mellowness of a woman, he sang "I haven't shed tears for at least ten years, There are at least ten songs to comfort me, but now my heart will be inexplicably broken, when I miss you..." There are thousands of roads, but I only recognize one road. The ground collapsed, and there was no way to hide the deep sadness in my heart.

The groaning in Lu Ne's heart suddenly echoed this. He calmed down, looked at the vicissitude-looking man with half-length hair in the middle, and drank in silence, one cup after another. He drank without dissuading him, but after seeing him drinking more and more, he couldn't help dissuading him, "Lu Ne, stop drinking—"

Su Er didn't touch the glass from the beginning to the end, and just watched with a noble and glamorous air, at this moment, he suddenly snorted, "Lu Na, you're just that promising, aren't you just a woman, or a faceless person?" Second, a girl with no figure, what about it?"

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Na suddenly jumped up from his seat angrily, grabbed Su Er by the collar and pinned him down on the table, he raised his fist to beat him——

Chen Shiyu was taken aback, and quickly stood up to persuade him to fight, but Lu Na's raised fist did not come down for a long time, and he just stared at Su Er viciously.Su Er looked at him without showing any weakness. There were dangerous black swirls in his eyes, and beneath the swirls, volcanic magma was surging.Then, he saw in disbelief that Lu Ne's eyes were getting red little by little, he squeezed his mouth tightly, turned his head, took a deep breath, and bit by bit forced back the tears that were about to gush out of his eyes.

Lu Na let go of the hand holding Su Er's collar, staggered and stood up straight, looked at Su Er with mockery and pity, waved his hand, and said with a belch, "You man ...not sincere!"

Su Er's expression was stunned, he was still shocked by Lu Ne's tears, when suddenly he heard such words, the evil fire rushed up, took a step forward, broke Lu Ne's head, and kissed him fiercely ——

How could this be a kiss? It was like treating a class enemy, biting his lip ferociously and sucking vigorously, and inserting his tongue into Lu Ne's mouth arrogantly, conquering the city.

Lu Na was stunned all of a sudden, his head was basically a mess, and he lost the ability to think.Moreover, Su Er rushed over with too much force, forcing Lu Na to take a few steps back. He was already drunk and his legs were weak, so he fell to the ground, and the back of his head hit the floor. The weight of more than 120 kilograms was all on him, and he almost vomited blood.

The people around saw that they were going to fight, but the plot took a turn for the worse. Immediately there were whistles and laughter.

Chen Shiyu was caught off guard by a series of things, so he pursed his lips and hurried to help Lu Na.Su Er didn't expect that he could throw someone to the ground with just one kiss. He was also in a mess, so he quickly got up and went to see Lu Ne. Lu Ne's whole face was wrinkled.Su Er was going to help him, but just as his hand touched Lu Ne's clothes, he was suddenly knocked off——

Under the light of the bar, Chen Shiyu's face was pale and indifferent, his eyes were as cold as a snow-covered coniferous forest in winter, he didn't look at Su Er, he just rubbed the back of Lu Na's head, and asked with concern, "Why?" So, do you want to go to the hospital?"

Lu Na sat on the ground, closed his eyes and hummed, but couldn't say a word.

Su Er looked at Chen Shiyu and narrowed his eyes dangerously. He didn't like him earlier. Su Er is gay, so he could tell Chen Shiyu's sexuality. At this moment, he calmed down and warned, "There's nothing like you here. It's over, Lu Na, I will send him to the hospital."

Chen Shiyu sneered, "Second Young Master Su must have made a mistake. Lu Na and I are friends. As for such a great figure as Second Young Master Su, we can't afford it, so we don't need to worry about it."

What kind of temper is Su Er? He used to be able to talk to him like Lu Ne. He was tolerant to Lu Ne, but he was not polite to Chen Shiyu. He just kicked Chen Shiyu, "What the hell are you!"

Chen Shiyu was originally supporting Lu Na, but was kicked in the chest, and Lu Na fell to the ground together, his pale face became even paler.That night, everyone seemed to be out of order. Chen Shiyu got up and threw his fist at Su Er. The two quickly wrestled together, and they lost their usual well-dressed, dignified dignity.

Until someone shouted: "Hey, stop beating, your buddies are leaving by themselves!"

The two quickly parted, and searched the bar with their eyes. Sure enough, they didn't see Lu Ne, and they were a little anxious. He drank so much today, don't get hit by falling into a ditch or jaywalking, but when he walked out of the bar, he found Lu Ne Squat down at the door of the bar and smoke.That fall temporarily suppressed his alcoholism, he regained consciousness, saw the two people coming out, glanced at them lightly, and asked without any tone: "Stop fighting?"

When asked by Lu Ne in such a tone, it was like being scolded by a kindergarten teacher, and there was embarrassment on his face.Originally, for the premiere today, I specially wore bright clothes, but now they are more and more non-mainstream.In contrast, Lu Na, who was broken in love, was neater than any of them. The scarlet cigarette butt flickered on and off, and he looked at a little void in the distance, silent and speechless.

Chen Shiyu suddenly felt uncomfortable, walked over to squat with Lu Na, and whispered, "Lu Na, may I go to the hospital with you?"

Lu Na said lightly: "No, people thought I was drunk and crazy, waiting for a bunch of heartless beasts to see my jokes..." He finished smoking, flicked the cigarette butt away, and said: "Pull me I can't stand up anymore."

Chen Shiyu hurriedly supported Lu Ne to stand up, and Lu Ne said, "Go home."

Su Er drove the car over, and Chen Shiyu opened the back seat and let Lu Na climb in. Just as he was about to get in, he heard Lu Ne say, "I want to sleep, you sit in the front."

Chen Shiyu had no choice but to sit in the second seat.The warm air from the air conditioner in the carriage was quiet and gentle. Lu Na curled up and slept soundlessly, completely ignoring the turbulent undercurrent and the ulterior motives between the two in front of him.

When we arrived at the rented house in Lu Na, Chen Shiyu looked familiar, and poured tea for Lu Na, looking for Sanjiu Gehua traditional Chinese medicine formula granules. Lu Ne needed to work, so he couldn't avoid drinking, and sometimes he had to drink too much, so he had to rely on it to sober up Chen Shiyu knew this, put hot water on it, and found a change of pajamas and underwear for Lu Ne, just like Lu Ne's wife.

Su Er couldn't get his hands in anything, and watched with a stinky face, so angry that his liver ached.When the hot water came, Lu Ne staggered into the bathroom by himself, and slammed the door shut, leaving two people in the room who were at odds with each other.

It was the first time for Su Er to come to Lu Ne's residence, and there was not even a place to sit on the two big buttocks except for the bed, which made Su Er Shao really disgusted.Lu Ne is not a person who likes to tidy up, he takes off his clothes one by one, and basically can't tell which one is clean. He also likes to buy books, and he also buys unpopular ones, and piles them up under the bed. , on the bedside and on the desk, Su Er casually picked up a book with a lot of labels and opened it. There were still a lot of Lu Ne's comments in it, which were basically nothing serious, such as "Kneeling, Sincerely incisive", "Lawrence is forced, no wonder he died young", "Hu Lancheng is shameless, but there is always something pure in his heart, no wonder he is as smart as Eileen Chang, reading the sadness in his words and understanding of himself in a moment, also Low to the dust."

Su Er was flipping through with relish, when Chen Shiyu's cold voice came from behind him, "Don't rummage through his things, his things look messy but he knows it in his own mind, and if he can't find it later, he will lose his temper again."

Su Er's face suddenly darkened, as if it was going to rain violently, and suddenly he heard Lu Ne yelling in the bathroom, as if he had slipped, and the two quickly ran to the bathroom, Chen Shiyu patted the door and called Lu Ne, Su Er directly opened the door to him. Kick it away, and in the hot white mist, Lu Na is sitting naked on the ground with his legs crossed, grinning, seeing that Su Er kicked the door lock, he is immediately angry, "You are acting in an American blockbuster movie!" Well, there are innocent little girls kidnapped by bad guys waiting for you to rescue? The door is not locked, why are you kicking! You lack strategic thinking.”

Su Er was so angry that his heart, liver, spleen, lung and stomach ached.

Lu Ne got up by himself, and was about to put on his underwear. He stuck one foot in, and suddenly froze. He turned his head to look at the two people standing there like wooden stakes, and immediately turned his face down, "What's the matter, still thinking about it?" Look at how your Master Lu is dressed, get the fuck out of here."

The two backed out silently, and Chen Shiyu carefully closed the door behind him.

After a while, Lu Ne came out. After taking a hot bath, he looked very tired, not as energetic as when he was scolding, waved his hand and said, "Let's go, I'm going to bed. Don't worry, I won't let you all sleep tomorrow." I was greeted in the society section of the newspaper—”

The two of them remained silent for a while, and finally Chen Shiyu spoke first, "Then you have a good rest."

The two left Lu Ne's apartment one after the other and went downstairs.Su Er got into his Bugatti, started the engine, and drove away with a whoosh.Chen Shiyu sucked the snot that was about to stay, wrapped his thin suit tightly around his body, shrunk his neck and walked in another direction.

After sending the two back, Lu Ne threw himself on the bed, spread his limbs, and stared blankly at the motorcycle on the ceiling. He felt like a salted fish caught from the deep sea. , A trickle, all flowed away.

Su Er took a hot bath, took out whiskey from the wine cabinet while wiping his hair, poured some, walked to the French window facing the sea, took a sip, the alcohol irritated the wound on his mouth, and it hurt slightly.He took a hissing breath, pressed his lips lightly with his fingertips, and suddenly seemed to think of something, a smile appeared on his face involuntarily, a little joy and tenderness that he didn't realize were overflowing from his eyes, and the whole picture suddenly came alive. Showing a gloomy and unruly face.

On the same night, Chen Shiyu's basement was still bone-chillingly cold in the early spring weather. He was lying on the creaking spring bed, with one hand resting on his head, and the other hand was placed in front of his eyes, holding the Old game coupons have been issued.It was two o'clock in the morning, but he didn't feel sleepy.The dim light of the incandescent lamp shone on his face, which was pale and handsome, with a charming aura intertwined with fragility and crazy neuroticism.