night lights up

The person in charge said a few words, then consciously closed the door and left.

After all, this place is a high-end place, not an ordinary KTV, the door will open with the push of outsiders.When the door is closed, it is closed.To open the door again, the person inside needs to press the button first.

So it was completely left me and him.

Chu Heng seemed to have something to say to me at first, but I kept standing by the door, and after the person in charge left, I lowered my head and did not move or speak.

He paused on the spot, walked towards me, and called me in a low voice: "An Sifeng."

I still don't move or speak.

He said softly and carefully again: "I'm sorry, the teacher has something to call on me, I'm late."

"Did you fight with someone? Did you get hurt?"

I remained silent, and his voice began to panic: "Who is fighting with you?" While talking, he wanted to reach out and pull my wrist. During the previous scuffle, a button on the sleeve was pulled by the other party. Loose and messy cuffs.His hand has already touched the back of my hand, and the pad of his little finger has even touched my skin.

In fact, think about it at this time, it's really nothing.

But at that time, as if I was nervous, I shook off his hand vigorously and looked up at him.

The eyes should be scary, because Chu Heng was slightly stunned.

All I could think about was that I was going to be finished, that I didn't want to go down the same path as my mom.I seem to succumb to the fate in front of me, but my self-esteem never allows me to really fall and step on it.Even in that situation, I still studied hard, and even got No.2 in the class in the final exam last semester, and won the second-class scholarship.

I don't believe that my whole life can only be like this, and I also believe that I can walk through this darkness eventually.

This is my true final dignity, but it has always been hidden in the deepest part of my heart.

I cannot be attached to anyone, nor can I allow myself to be attached.

I don't need warm sunshine, soft grass, warm carpets, sofas, nothing at all.

As long as I am myself, I can walk through the ice and snow.

I can walk over, I can.

I can't let myself be fucked.

I can't see him again.

I even suddenly hated him a little at that time, hated why he was so kind to me, and even more hated that he was so patient with me.

Hate him for coaxing me into depending on him.

Extreme timidity turned into a layer of anger that broke his bravado with a poke.

But that's ok, as long as no one pokes it, it never breaks, and that's ok.

I can lie to myself, I can lie to anyone.

As soon as I raised my head, I asked him angrily: "Senior, didn't you agree that you will never come again?"

"I--"

"What are you! Is this a good place? What do you think of me all day long? What do you think of me? What do you want to do? Do you want to see me laugh? Or is it a conscience attack, the rich young master wants to do it? Good deeds? Do you want to save me? But how do you save me? Can you save my life? Can you save my mother’s life? Can you give me a new life?” My voice was still a little low at first, The more I said, the louder my voice became, the more I believed in myself, yes, that's it, it's all his fault!

"You can't at all! You can't save me! We are completely different individuals in two worlds! No one can save another forever. Including you and me! So, please take back your How about kindness! I don't need it!"

It was the first time that I spoke so hoarsely in front of others. After shouting those words, my throat seemed to be smoking.

Chu Heng looked at me and quietly listened to me going crazy.

I was even more annoyed by his calm eyes, because it was such calm eyes with a little distress that made me feel wronged.But I can't be wronged!What kind of person would be wronged?He will be wronged when someone loves him and is willing to rely on him.

I don't need to feel wronged either.

Don't let this man try to trick me again!

Even though my throat was already smoking, I continued to yell at him: "I beg you, please! Don't come again! You are such a good student, a high-quality senior, so many people admire you, so many teachers like you .How can you come to such a place?!"

He still has that look in his eyes.

"Isn't your name Chu Heng? Aren't you a good piece of jade? Do you know what people here say about you and me? About me and you?! Don't let me tarnish you, okay!"

The last sentence really yelled out.

After yelling, I was completely exhausted. I leaned back against the door and watched him panting.

He blinked, and finally spoke again, he called me: "An Sifeng."

I have no energy to speak anymore, just unable to look at him.

Chu Heng pointed to the sofa, and said softly and softly: "I came here today to deliver books to you."

I froze and stared at him.

He also turned around and looked at me as well.

His eyes are better than the voice just now, lighter and softer than feathers, but extremely powerful.

Feathers turned into swords.

There seemed to be a slight "swoosh" in the air.

The thin layer of anger that enveloped me just like that broke and dissipated.

I sent a nameless fire that was useless.

What's worse, after posting, I was also confused.

Taking advantage of my lack of strength and leaning against the door, Chu Heng finally grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the sofa to sit down.

He was so kind and put a cushion behind me.After sitting down, he took the book beside him and handed it to me: "This is what I told you before, the dictionary I typed and typed out myself."

You can imagine the situation at that time, I scolded him.He just didn't get angry, and immediately shared with me the book he printed himself?

Getting angry and swearing are all for the other party to accept and reflect on themselves and make changes.

But the other party didn't respond, as if I hadn't scolded at all.

I was really dumbfounded.

I even began to wonder if it was really me who was so angry and afraid just now...

Because I was too ignorant, I just took his book, flipped through a few pages at random, and even boasted: "It's pretty good."

He smiled: "As long as you like it."

I stopped my hand and looked at him again.

In such a place, there are many lights in the room, which can create various atmospheres.But when Chu Heng was around, he always only turned on two wall lamps.The wall lamp happened to be right behind us, and we both turned our backs to the light, and his smile got bigger and bigger.

Yes, my anger didn't swell, didn't infect him, let him know.

Instead he sat quietly, his emotions surrounding me with just a smile.

I am no match for him.

He did know how to heal me, although he wasn't trying to heal me at the time, he was supposed to be just trying to calm me down.

He did it the way he does best.

And I fell for it again.

But now I am very grateful to him for treating me like this again and again. Without his patience, I would not even be able to have the only sweetness in the past.

He was sitting next to me, and I looked down at the book carefully, reading seven or eight pages, and there were even his comments on it.

He handed me water, and said: "The wall lamp is too dark, I'll turn on the headlight, and you can look again."

I shook my head and put down the book: "I won't read it."

I'm too lazy to mention what happened just now, but I don't know how to pass the peace in this room, although I don't feel embarrassed.On the contrary, he may be afraid that I will be affected again. He found a topic to chat with me, and he asked me: "Are you listening to music?"

I shook my head again: "I don't listen to it. I don't like the songs here, they are all ugly."

"Who do you like to listen to?"

I thought for a while and said, "I like SoporAeternus." I thought he didn't know who it was, but he quickly interjected: "It's that gothic band from Germany, right?"

I was surprised, but he smiled and asked again: "Who else?"

"I also like World's End Girlfriend. I listen to it repeatedly at night when I can't sleep, especially the song "GiveMeShadow, PutOnMyCrown"."

"Japanese post-rock."

"..." I was surprised again.

"I love Birthday Resistance."

He has really heard of it!I immediately became excited and put other things behind me. I started chatting with him from the band, talking about favorite singers, favorite song titles, and even a short prelude or a certain line of lyrics.

We chatted from German music to Japan, then to Norway, Sweden, and finally back to China.

"Then do you have a favorite Chinese singer?" I asked him.

"I really like Wan Fang."

At that moment, I really suspected that he was another me in the world.

Our preferences overlap too much.

It was only at that time that I clearly understood what it was like to meet a bosom friend in the mountains and rivers.

Wonderful, yet inexplicably touching.

There are no other songs here.

There were Wan Fang's, and the two of us ordered songs together, ordering all the only Wan Fang's songs.After ordering, play the original sound and let's listen together.

That night, the last song I listened to was "The Night Illuminates the Night".

The acoustics were excellent, and he and I sat quietly, and after listening to the song, the lyrics and the melody flooded into both of our minds.

When the song was about to end, I asked him, "Can the night really light up?"

Before he could answer, I laughed and said, "The night itself is so dark, how can it illuminate the same dark night?"

After saying this, after the song was played, I simply used the remote control to turn off the big-screen TV.

"An Sifeng." Chu Heng called me.

"Huh?" I turned around, but he suddenly turned off all the lights.It was dark in the room.

I am dumbfounded, what should I do?

Chu Heng called me again: "An Sifeng, look——"

With a "snap", he turned on all the lights, and it was as bright as day, and we saw each other again.

He smiled at me: "I can."