Snout

At this time Xu Kuisheng also came to the ward.

He whispered: "My mother is coming."

Shi Qin looked back at him: "Have you mentally prepared our mother?"

"I did. At the beginning, she fainted as soon as she heard it. I saw that she was so careless, so I asked my dad to stop her and let her rest for a while before coming back. She will come here in a few days after just finishing her psychological training."

Both of them stood silently for a while, not speaking tacitly.

Shi Qin said: "I've been very busy there recently, if you have time, try to come and accompany him."

Xu Kuisheng nodded in agreement.

After several rounds of chemotherapy, Ou Fangge was pushed into the operating room.

The operation went well.

When Ou Fangge woke up, Xu Kuisheng's mother and father were standing in the ward.

"Aunt An, Uncle Xu." Ou Fangge smiled weakly at them.

Aunt An held back her tears, and sat on the chair prepared by Ou Fangge's bed for the family, and talked to Ou Fangge: "Fang Ge, when you get better, let's go home, Aunt An will give you a bag that you like." Dumplings," said the voice tremblingly, "Our Fang Ge will be fine."

Ou Fangge couldn't help but feel sad when he heard it. He didn't know his own physical condition, so he could only comfort him and said, "Okay. When I get better, I'll go back and eat the dumplings made by Aunt An."

After Ou Fangge's father passed away and his mother went with him, Xu Kuisheng's family accepted him and treated him as their own son for so many years. Sometimes Xu's mother treated Ou Fangge better than Xu Kuisheng.

Originally, Xu's father and Xu mother wanted to take care of Ou Fangge for two days, but Xu Kuisheng persuaded him to go back: "Ou Fangge has been undergoing chemotherapy recently, and has been sleeping most of the time. There are nurses and responsible doctors in the hospital. They You can take good care of him. You also have your own jobs, so go back." Xu's father and Xu's mother returned home worried.

Xu Kuisheng, who has been in the hospital, replaced Xu's father and Xu's mother.

When Xu Kuisheng was free, he would come to Ou Fangge's ward to chat with him.

It was only now that Xu Kuisheng knew that Ou Fangge actually liked Tai Yi's cousin.

Xu Kuisheng comforted him, but he didn't know how to make him feel better.

When Xu Kuisheng was thinking about what else to say, Tai Yi pushed the door in and said, "Doctor Xu, someone from your department is looking for you."

Xu Kuisheng nodded, and asked Ou Fangge to instruct Tai Yi if he needed anything.

Tai Yi raised his eyebrows and did not refute.

"Is the oncology department busy recently?" Ou Fangge recovered a lot a few days after the operation, and he also had the strength to speak.Now Tai Yi runs to him almost every day, Ou Fangge feels helpless.

"It's okay." Tai Yi pulled the chair beside him and sat down, "By the way, don't you really want to inform Tai Ling..."

Ou Fangge twitched the corner of his mouth: "It's none of his business that I'm sick."

"You have been together for so long, I think he knows what you think about him."

"Take your word for it. I've never done anything outrageous in front of him. It's impossible."

"Tai Ling studied psychology." Tai Yi suddenly said something that made Ou Fangge puzzled.

"Well, then what?"

"He's learned well." Tai Yi said emphatically.

"What exactly do you want to say?" Ou Fangge was a little dumbfounded.

"Don't underestimate psychology..." Tai Yi said, "My brother can probably guess what you're thinking just by raising your eyebrows. It was because of my small eyes that my brother discovered that I like men. with..."

Ou Fangge opened his mouth, but did not speak after all.

Tai Yi also looked at him speechlessly.

After a long time, he squinted his eyes and asked, "Does Xu Kuisheng know that you like men?"

"I know. But I didn't know that I like Tai Ling before. But now I know." Ou Fangge hasn't talked with anyone about love for a long time, and it's rare that someone is willing to talk to him.

"You really don't want to let your male lead know that you are terminally ill like in Korean dramas, and then your male lead will find out that he falls in love with you, and then he will be obsessed with your male lead until the end?"

Ou Fangge wanted to laugh a little: "Why do you watch so many Korean dramas?"

"Want to see how far they take terminal illnesses and car accidents."

Ou Fangge laughed softly a few times, feeling a bit painful from the wound on his stomach.

Seeing his expression, Tai Yi quickly let him breathe: "Why don't you lie down and sleep."

"...I think," Ou Fangge gradually felt better before opening his mouth, "it's really too late to hold back some words."

"You decided to tell Tai Ling that you like him?"

Ou Fangge shook his head, and continued: "Actually, I think it's better not to tell him. He is straight, and we are not the same way."

"Maybe it's a bit of a virgin to say that, but I really don't want to ruin his life. Some people hear a same-sex confession and the first reaction is usually disgust instead of being like, 'Oh, it's none of my business you like me' and laughing it off. This kind of In the current society, feelings cannot be fully accepted by ordinary people. During the time I spent with Tai Ling, I asked him this question, and he directly answered me that it was impossible to accept what happened to me. In this way, I How dare you tell him that I like him?"

"We have only been together for a few months..." Ou Fangge took a breath, and said slowly, "Everyone who is liked does not need to be responsible for the person who likes himself. Besides, until now, I'm still very glad that I didn't confess on impulse. Even though I have fantasized about the possibility of 'he will like me' after I confess. But I think this chance is smaller than the chance of my cancer being cured."

Between the conversations, Xu Kuisheng's voice came from the door of the single ward which was not soundproof: "What are you doing here?"

Not long after, Xu Kuisheng opened the door and came in. When he saw Tai Yi in the ward, he was stunned: "Why are you still here?"

Tai Yi didn't answer him, but asked, "What happened just now?"

"That person seems to have been eavesdropping. When he saw me asking him, he hurried away. I haven't seen him before, so I don't know who it is."

Ou Fangge closed his eyes: "It doesn't matter who it is."

"If Tai Ling is in front of me now, I still won't say a word about liking. Because he doesn't need to be responsible for my liking. I think..." He glanced at Tai Yi and said, "If I were The protagonist of a certain Korean drama, the os should be 'fortunately you don't like me, otherwise you will be the one who is sad after I die' or something..."

Xu Kuisheng interrupted him: "What nonsense!"

"The end result is the same anyway."

"Ou Fangge, can't you shut up?" Xu Kuisheng scolded.

Ou Fangge turned his head aside and didn't look at him: "Anyway, it won't change anything if you say it."

The atmosphere in the ward suddenly dropped to the freezing point, and none of the three people in this environment spoke again.

10

A few days later, Ou Fangge, who had already lost all his hair, was pushed into chemotherapy again.

Xu Kuisheng was worried and waited outside.

Shi Qin also hurried to his side.

"I heard from Dr. Tai that in the past few days, Fang Ge's malnutrition has worsened. If this continues, his body will not be able to support him in chemotherapy." Shi Qin's voice trembled, and he looked at the place where Ou Fangge was. , frowned worriedly.

Xu Kuisheng looked back at her with a confused expression.

He stared blankly at Shi Qin, then stretched out his arms to hug her, and said, "Before Ou Fangge went in, just...half an hour ago, Ou Fangge told me that he wanted to stop the treatment."

Shi Qin didn't speak, but Xu Kuisheng heard her inhale, trembling in disbelief.

The long wait is excruciating.

When Ou Fangge was pushed out, there was no color on his face, and when Xu Kuisheng saw him, his face was also very pale.Stiffly, he followed the bed all the way to Ou Fangge's ward, and Shi Qin who followed behind him kept his head down and walked silently, the two of them tacitly did not say a word.

Unlike usual, this time Ou Fangge fell asleep much longer than before.Shi Qin was persuaded by Xu Kuisheng to go back, but he stayed here to check the situation, and went home when Ou Fangge stabilized a bit.

After he had confirmed everything and took the car keys and was about to leave, a familiar person passed him by in the corridor. Xu Kuisheng looked back at the person's back and walked for a while before suddenly stopping. He stopped and turned around without hesitation and walked back.

That person just now was the one who eavesdropped on their speech in front of Ou Fangge's ward!

It's past eleven o'clock in the evening, what is that person doing here?

Xu Kuisheng quickened his pace, rushed in front of that person and stopped him.

"Who are you?" Xu Kuisheng spoke quickly, looking at that person warily.

The man looked at Xu Kuisheng fixedly and replied, "My name is Tai Ling."

Xu Kuisheng and Tai Ling were sitting in the corridor with few people.

Xu Kuisheng asked, "Did you come to see Ou Fangge?"

"I am..." Tai Ling organized his language, but did not answer directly, "The project we cooperated with was very successful. I wanted to find Ou Fangge to celebrate, but I couldn't get through to his mobile phone. I went to their company to get through. I knew he had resigned. It wasn't until Tai Yi called me the day before yesterday and told me everything that I knew that Ou Fangge...was sick."

"Everything..." Xu Kuisheng murmured.

Tai Ling was a little embarrassed: "...including the fact that he likes me."

Xu Kuisheng turned to look at him: "Then you..."

"I just came to see him."

"Oh."

"I think I vaguely know that he likes me, but I'm not sure." Tai Ling said, "He hides it very well."

If he hadn't been woken up by Ou Fangge in the hotel that day, he might have always thought that Ou Fangge only regarded him as a friend just like him.He was actually drunk that day, but not so drunk that he couldn't walk.Ou Fangge's support just gave him a buffer time, so that he could have an excuse to rest, after all, no one can handle drinking too much at once.Lying in the hotel room, with his eyes closed, he could feel the weight of a person sinking the sides of the bed he slept in, but he was too tired to open his eyes.He was a little dazed when a warm breath hit his face, but he couldn't think clearly because of the alcohol.Then there was a knock on the door, a physical oppression, and then his waking up.He saw Ou Fangge huddled at the foot of the bed, but he didn't know how to face this partner, so he walked out of the room without looking back.

After that day, he never saw Ou Fangge again.

Until the success of the project and Tai Yi's call.

He only thought about it for a day before deciding to come and see Ou Fangge.

For those who like him, Tai Ling has no choice but to turn a bad face.

When he came back to his senses and saw Xu Kuisheng staring at his face, Tai Ling was taken aback for a moment, and asked, "What?"

"Ou Fangge said that your lip shape is beautiful."

When Tai Ling saw Ou Fangge who was still sleeping on the bed, he felt as shocked as the end of the world.

Ou Fangge's face was terribly pale, and the bones of his body protruded obviously under the hospital clothes.It is very different from the Qu Fangge that Tai Ling saw a few months ago.Tai Ling didn't dare to think about how much pain Ou Fangge had suffered because he could torture a person so badly in just a few months.

He stood in the ward for a long time, until Xu Kuisheng opened the door and let him out of the corridor, saying that he had something to tell him.

Xu Kuisheng slowly told all of Ou Fangge's descriptions and thoughts about him, while Tai Ling listened quietly, without saying a word.

Xu Kuisheng knew Ou Fangge well.Ou Fangge is someone who would rather swallow everything in his stomach than tell others.Especially when it comes to people he cares about, every move will become cautious.Tai Yi said that Ou Fangge was stubborn and refused to tell Tai Ling that he liked him no matter what.To put it bluntly, Ou Fangge is a person who is still worried that the sky will fall even if he has shelter.He didn't dare to tell Tai Ling this fact because he was afraid that he wouldn't even have to be a friend.Besides, this was Ou Fangge's wishful thinking, he couldn't control his feelings, and there was no need for Tai Ling to take care of his feelings.So Ou Fangge chose a very clumsy way to treat the person he likes.

But he underestimated the two uncertainties beside him, Xu Kuisheng and Tai Yi.Xu Kuisheng has been friends with him for so many years, and he will not let him suffer; Tai Yi, as a doctor who saw a patient who still likes his cousin, out of humanitarianism, he called Tai Ling's cell phone.

So Xu Kuisheng ran into Tai Ling who was going to visit Ou Fangge in the hospital.

"Did the doctor say how much time he has left?" Tai Ling lowered his voice and asked.

"No." Xu Kuisheng shook his head, "They said they can last as long as they can. Now his body is very poor, and his mental state is also the same. Almost two-thirds of the day is in a coma. Occasionally wakes up, and it doesn't last long. .”

"Can I visit him often?" Tai Ling asked.

Xu Kuisheng nodded: "Thank you."

the next day.

Ou Fangge, who had just finished a bowl of millet porridge, leaned against the head of the bed a little bored, looked at Tai Yi who was playing with his mobile phone, and asked in a weak voice, "Why are you here again?"

"Take care of your mood." Tai Yi picked up the phone, "I notified Tai Ling."

Ou Fangge opened his mouth slightly, speechless.

What did he hear just now? !

"what happened?"

"I told him."

Ou Fangge's face was already ugly, but now his fingertips trembled slightly, and his head slowly lowered.

Pain has become a daily problem, and Ou Fangge always feels that it will be over if he bears it, and he won't live long anyway.

Tai Ling is coming.Ou Fangge was so nervous that the pain became even worse.

It's not easy for him to blame anything, that's Tai Yi's kindness.

The existence of Tai Ling can give Ou Fangge a reason to live.As long as Tai Ling doesn't know that he likes him, as long as Tai Ling doesn't appear in front of him, he won't care about the regret that "he won't be with Tai Ling".

But now he was pushed in front of this fact, which burned him like a ball of fire.

When Tai Ling pushed open the door of the ward, Ou Fangge flustered like a child who had done something wrong, at a loss, his eyes wandering.

"Qu Fangge." Tai Ling called him.

Ou Fangge gripped the bed sheet tightly with both hands, and could only look at him in shock, with a stick in his throat.

Tai Yi didn't know when he went out.Ou Fangge couldn't find a life-saving raft, and didn't know how to react.

Seeing that he didn't respond, Tai Ling felt very complicated.

He called his name again.

In the silent ward, breathing was flowing, Ou Fangge felt that he had a lot to say, but for some reason, it was like a bone spur lying in his throat, and every single word he said would make him cry in pain.

That day, Tai Ling stayed with him for a long time.

From the beginning to the end, neither of them said a word.

Later, Tai Ling came more often, and Ou Fangge went from a few greetings at the beginning to talking with eloquence, talking about everything.They tacitly did not talk about Ou Fangge's feelings and the reason for Tai Ling's company.The two seemed to be chatting casually as if they were partners in the original cooperation.

It's just that as time goes by, Ou Fangge spends less and less awake time. Even if he endures the pain, he still cherishes every bit of time spent together, and in the end he will fall asleep because of too much pain.

Ou Fangge has stopped chemotherapy for two weeks.His body couldn't support the chemotherapy, and he could only be tortured by the pain without chemotherapy.

Tai Ling, who came to see him almost every day for the past two weeks, couldn't help frowning.

After waking up from a drowsiness, Ou Fangge saw Tai Ling lying on his bed for the first time and fell asleep.

At that moment, Ou Fangge's blocked emotions instantly broke through the gate and spread to his heart.

"Tai Ling, I like you."

Because Tai Ling kept his head down, Ou Fangge didn't see Tai Ling's eyes open after he finished speaking.

Ou Fangge did not persist until the third week, and was pushed into the operating room again.

This time it was rescue.

Xu's father and Xu's mother were sitting on the chair in the corridor, Xu's mother kept crying, and Xu's father was comforting her.

Both Xu Kuisheng and Shi Qin looked at the operating room with apprehension, and did not exchange a word.

Tai Ling sat at the place closest to the operating room, with his head down all the time, making it impossible to guess what he was thinking.

Every minute and every second is a torment for them, until the red light in the operating room goes dark, they feel that a century is nothing more than that.

The doctor who was already sweating profusely came out and didn't say success or shake his head to say failure, he just said: "If you have anything else to say, let's talk about it now."

Tai Ling didn't follow them in, he sat outside the ward in a daze, staring straight at the white wall of the hospital corridor.

Until he was patted on the shoulder.

It's Xu Kuisheng.

"go in."

Tai Ling sat next to him without saying a word.

Ou Fangge's mind is still clear, he is so tired, he seems to have used up all his strength to say a word: "Thank you...thank you."

Originally, Tai Ling wanted to ask him why he fell in love with him, but they had only been together for three months.But after Ou Fangge's words, he felt that all the questions were meaningless.

Ou Fangge was skinny, his face was as white as paper, and his breathing was as light as if it would stop at any moment.

Tai Ling looked at him with hesitation in his tone: "...Ou Fangge?"

"Hmm..." Ou Fangge was as angry as a silk.

Ou Fangge felt that he was too tired, even the calls in his ears could not make him open his eyes again.

"Qu Fangge." Tai Ling called repeatedly.He didn't know why he did it.He just wanted Ou Fangge to open his eyes again and look at him again.

Ou Fangge did not respond to him.

"Qu Fangge." Tai Ling looked at his pale face, and finally lowered his head and kissed his forehead.

"Qu Fangge." He called again, but no one responded.

Tai Ling's breathing suddenly became a little short.

When Xu Kuisheng came in, all he saw was Tai Ling bending down, and this movement didn't look special, but he subconsciously stopped it.

"Hey, what are you doing?!"

But the kiss has fallen.

It fell on the lips that were still warm but could not speak anymore.

"It's too late." After a long silence, Xu Kuisheng brushed away the shock in his heart and drooped his eyes.

At that moment, Xu Kuisheng had all the complicated emotions in his heart. He didn't know whether to condemn this person or thank him. He said that the condemnation was because of the existence of this person, and there were also Ou Fangge's own considerations. The trouble caused by the other party is just that I feel uncomfortable in my heart, but liking it is not so easy to explain. It is not Tai Ling's fault that Ou Fangge fell in love with Tai Ling; he said that he is grateful for this person who gave him company in Ou Fangge's last time. ... Now, Ou Fangge's wish can be regarded as fulfilled.

However, Ou Fangge will never know again.

"...En." After a long time, Tai Ling sat up and answered him, his voice was a little hoarse, and his eyes were still on Ou Fangge's bloodless but still delicate face.

He didn't know what was going through his mind at the moment when he bent down, and Tai Ling couldn't find any suitable reason to explain why he did what he did just now, maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was just an impulse, at that moment He just wanted to touch the person lying on the hospital bed in the way he felt most appropriate.

The warm wind blows into the ward and lifts a corner of the white quilt on the hospital bed, but it can no longer wake up a person who has been sleeping forever.

"Why do you have to wait until you lose it to feel precious." Tai Ling's voice was very small, with unspeakable emotions.

Xu Kuisheng rubbed his eyes, turned his head and looked away from him: "Because you won't get it anymore."

Ou Fangge's body was quickly cremated.

On the day of his funeral, Tai Ling stood not far away watching, but did not take a step closer.

Tai Ling stood there for a long time, until Xu Kuisheng and the others left, he still looked at the place without moving a step.

It wasn't until the surrounding wind blew up the hem of his clothes, blew through his eyes hiding thousands of thoughts, and hurt the beating heart in his chest, that he seemed to be alive and fixed for decades. Stiff as a statue moved.

He closed his eyes, turned around slowly, and left.

【FIN】