gentleman's manor

I was annoyed at Edward's verbal provocation at every turn.

When we were together, he often had some ambiguous hints.Or he whispered in my ear, or moved his hands and feet, or even made provocative jokes. I often couldn't sleep at night because of his words or actions during the day.

After many years, I fell into a deep entanglement again.When I was struggling to find him in the past, I spent every day in thoughts and anxiety, and I didn't have the time to think about whether what I was looking for was right.But after the meeting, things were no longer in my control.

I used to be afraid that each other's future would be hurt by this immoral love, and now he is no longer the earl's son, but I am a priest.Under the strict religious principles, I felt that my soul was being whipped and tortured in front of God.My body stands on a holy temple, but my heart is filled with filth and sin. The Holy Lord will never forgive such a person as me.

Under the condemnation in my heart, I was in extreme pain and had nowhere to confide in, so I could only choose to escape.

I stopped looking for him in the port, and I always avoided him when he came to church.He seemed to have noticed my deliberate behavior, but he didn't press on, which relieved my tense and depressed heart a little.

Pastor Cole's health has improved a lot, and he can go out to preach, so when he went out to preach, I stayed in the parish and was responsible for guiding the congregation.

One job I don't really like is sitting in a confessional and listening to the unspeakable secrets of the congregation.I really admire Pastor Cole's patience and endurance. Every time he comes out of the confessional, he is cheerful and seems to have no pressure at all.Sometimes I really want to ask him how he keeps his composure after hearing all kinds of cheating, cheating, doing bad things, doing evil things?

The hardest thing for me to accept is that some young lady even took the opportunity to confess to me while sitting in the confessional.You can imagine how entangled I was in sending the other party away, because as long as they showed a slight rejection tone, they would hide in the dark and small space and cry non-stop, and I was helpless about it.

Today, many people came to the confession room to confess.

Sitting in my dark, cramped confessional in my heavy monk's robe, I listened to the voices of the strangers next door.

"Thank you, Mr. Pastor." A strange man thanked me and left in a hurry.

He cried bitterly in the confession room just now, and kept telling him that he was guilty, but in any case he refused to reveal what he did wrong.After he left, I breathed a sigh of relief. After all, it is also very depressing to face a person who keeps repeating his guilt.

But before I could recover, another person walked into the next door.

"Hello." A familiar voice came from the left.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I looked at him in surprise.

The wooden partitions with hollow patterns blocked our view of each other, and I could only see a general outline in the dark.

"I come to confess, Mr. Reverend," he replied solemnly.

At this moment, I suddenly realized that something was wrong, Edward never confessed.

"I'm in love with someone, Mr. Pastor," he said before I stopped him.

"I swear, I love him more than anyone in the world."

"May Almighty God be gracious to me and let my loved ones know my heart."

I leaned on the chair in the confession room, speechless for a long time.

But the other party deliberately asked me: "Mr. Pastor, will you convey my wish to Jesus?"

"This is the confessional... people come to confess..." I said weakly.

"Do you think it's a sin to love someone?"

"If it's someone you shouldn't love, that's a sin." My voice trembled a little.

"There is no right or wrong for loving someone, Mr. Pastor." He said in a low voice.

"Of course there is, the Sunnah of God, it is a sin to covet another's wife, and it is a sin to fall in love with someone of the same sex."

"Has Mr. Pastor ever fallen in love with someone who shouldn't be loved?"

"No, of course I didn't!" I said aloud, as if trying to hide my fear.

"That is really a kind of luck for you." Edward's voice was aggressive: "Not everyone is as lucky as you, at least the one I admire is not."

"Why do you think so!"

"Because he traveled across the ocean and came to a foreign country alone to look for me for two years! If this is not love, then who else is he in love with?"

I put my head in my hands and put my fingers in my hair, as if it would make me feel safe, because I couldn't refute what he said.

He said yes, I love him, I have fallen in love with him since I was a teenager, otherwise I wouldn't come all the way to find a lost person.My reason and my heart always seem to be contradictory, it's like being buried in darkness, never finding light.

"God will punish us." I said tremblingly, "How dare you say such things to me in church."

"God is merciful and will forgive everything." He said calmly.

"No, God will not forgive us, we will go to hell."

"Then get down, with you by my side, there is paradise everywhere."

After saying these words, he opened the doorway of the confession room: "Thank you, Mr. Pastor, I will come to you to confess next time."

After he left, the next congregation walked into the next door. From the beginning to the end, I was immersed in my own thoughts, and I didn't hear what the other party said at all.

……

"Adam, what's the matter with you recently? Are you feeling unwell?" Pastor Cole asked me suddenly.

"Ah..." I was so surprised that I almost knocked over the wine used for consecration.

"What are you thinking? You're all distracted," Pastor Cole said.

"Excuse me." I bowed my head.

"Hehe, no need to apologize, just go out for a stroll if you are in a dull mood. India has a lot of sights worth seeing, especially cultural scenery. There are ancient statues and monuments everywhere. By the way, you might want to go and see their sprinkles On the Red Festival, the locals hold a grand event to celebrate the vernal equinox and the grain harvest. They throw red powder and water to passers-by to express their blessings. I can give you a few days off. Love the fact that they disturb the locals' festivities."

"You don't mind their native teachings? I mean, we're all missionaries," I said.

"Of course not, child, we must respect the beliefs of the local people. There are gods in different places in different places, just like there are different races in different places. Indians also worship the goddess of sex, and we priests, Or dedicate your whole life to a man, which one is weirder?" Pastor Cole made a joke with a smile.

So depressed, I followed the instructions of the pastor and went to the temple of the local people to participate in their annual Holi Festival.Many British people came to participate in this grand event, most of whom were soldiers, because it was one of the few festivals where women could play with women in the street, and no one was willing to miss it.

That day, the temple was packed with people.

From early in the morning to noon, Indians, regardless of gender, age or age, scramble to smear various paints on the faces and bodies of their family members and friends to express their blessings.Naughty young people and children were even more ecstatic, splashing a kind of red water on the passing people on the street.

At the celebration site of the temple, people dance and sprinkle water and red powder.Some people were completely dyed red, their hair and clothes were wet, and even the mud on the ground was dyed red.

The one who came with me was a church official. He even took off his religious robe and danced in the crowd, completely forgetting that he was a Christian, and enjoying the Hindu festival wholeheartedly.

Holi usually lasts for a while, so we stayed in a local hotel owned by the British.

One morning, after I got up, I didn't see the cleric coming downstairs for a long time, so I asked the waiter to go to his room to have a look.

Who knew that the waiter ran down in a panic, and then muttered to the foreman.When the foreman heard this, his face turned pale in an instant, and he loudly ordered several male servants: "Quick! Go and make some braziers."

I walked over to him strangely and asked, "Sir, what happened?"

The head waiter looked at me with flustered eyes, as if he was hesitant to say something.

"What happened? The councilor upstairs is my companion. What happened to him?" I asked him anxiously.

Then the foreman said to me: "The big thing is bad! That man, that man brought that kind of dirty disease from somewhere! He will kill us, my God!"

"What are you talking about? What kind of disease?" I suddenly had an ominous premonition in my heart.

"The servant told me just now that the gentleman was unconscious and had many red bumps on his face, which looked like smallpox!"

Hearing the word 'smallpox', I shuddered all over, and hurriedly asked: "Are you sure? Maybe... Maybe the servant is wrong."

"Sir! You can't read wrong here!" the foreman said anxiously.

Soon, the steward of the hotel came out to inform all the guests.

"Misters and ladies, I have a terrible thing to tell you, but please don't panic and face it calmly. Our hotel will help everyone evacuate in an orderly manner."

"What happened?" a gentleman in a brown tuxedo asked loudly.

"Someone in our hotel has smallpox. The doctor just came and diagnosed it."

"Oh my God!" The guests talked a lot, and some ladies even fainted on the spot.

"If anyone else feels unwell, please let us know as soon as possible, and then stay away from the crowd. As for those who are healthy, we will get you out of here as soon as possible."

Not long after, a servant came to urge me: "Mr. Constantine, have you packed your luggage yet? Please get in the carriage and leave."

"But...my companion is still here, I can't leave him alone."

"Your companion has smallpox, what's the use of you staying?" The servant's tone was strong, slightly reproachful: "All the healthy people have left, and you must leave too. The hotel has been sealed off. You have no right to disobey the orders of the government."

I walked out of the hotel with my luggage, and there were fleeing guests everywhere.As if there was a scourge behind them, they jumped into the carriage and fled without looking back.

I also got into the church carriage and headed back.

But as soon as I got home, I felt unwell, and my body showed signs of fever.

There was news from outside that the smallpox infection was ferocious this time, and the place where the Holi Festival originated was the place where the Holi Festival was held.

Countless locals have fallen ill, and it is said that it is the water.

Many people died near the temple, and the Governor's Mansion even sealed off the surrounding villages. I heard that smallpox had already broken out in a large scale in the nearby villages, but the traffic was blocked and no one noticed.

And the morning after I got home, I had red bumps all over my body and face.

The author has something to say: Smallpox was terrifying in ancient times, when cities and villages were massacred, and those who survived were disfigured.