Zhu Mu Lang Ma

Fu Yijie rarely suffers from insomnia, eating and sleeping are equally important things to him.

But he hardly slept that night. When Fu Kun read the manga and fell asleep, he also turned off the desk lamp on his bed, stared at Fu Kun's breathing, and after confirming that Fu Kun had fallen asleep, he turned on the desk lamp again. , continue reading.

The shock this book brought to him was indescribable, and he spent one night reading, understanding and experiencing it.

For him, these contents are close at hand but seem out of reach.

Xia Fei didn't deliberately hide anything from him, but he never said more specifically about himself, his feelings, his feelings, he never said, even if Fu Yijie would ask, Xia Fei would always Change the subject.

But now, this book is like a key, opening a door, and a world that Fu Yijie never thought of is laid out in front of him little by little.

One real example, one real person, people like Xia Fei and Zhang Qingkai, and maybe Jiang Song, these aliens who live in the crowd like all ordinary people, are full of hidden emotions in their hearts that others cannot see. Self-denial, self-denial...

Stigma, struggle, repression, marginalized, vulnerable...

When the sky outside the window started to turn pale, Fu Yijie closed the book, lay on the bed and stared at the wall cabinet above the bed in a daze.

His mind was in a mess, he didn't know what he was thinking, and he couldn't even remember what he watched that night. The shock caused by the content that surprised him exceeded his ability to bear.

The only things he can remember clearly are two things.

There are many such people, more than imagined, this is not crazy, not perverted, not hooligan... But there are too few people who can think this way.

It is possible for myself... Yes.

But he wasn't completely sure about the latter point, except for Fu Kun, he had never liked other men like this, but Fu Kun was his brother.

Do I like my brother, or a man?

He didn't know when Fu Kun got up, he even forgot that he should get up for a run today.

It wasn't until Fu Kun finished washing, stepped on the lower bunk, poked his head up, and slapped him, that he suddenly came back from the messy thoughts like losing the tail hair that was knotted after half a month of not taking a bath. Come on.

"Didn't you sleep well?" Fu Kun frowned, and reached out to touch his face, "Why are there bloodshot eyes? His complexion is also bad, what's wrong?"

When Fu Kun's fingers brushed across his face, he closed his eyes. This feeling of longing to touch and be touched couldn't possibly be what he should have for his brother...

"No, I was dreaming." Fu Yijie sat up, his head was a little heavy, and he always felt like he was shaking against a big pumpkin, and when he got out of bed, he almost fell down with his head.

This was the first time Fu Yijie stayed up late, and it felt worse than Fu Kun being beaten up.

Because he woke up too late, his parents had already gone to work, Fu Kun looked through the small medicine drawer at home while he was washing up, and found some cold medicine for him.

"I don't have a cold." Fu Yijie refused to eat.

"Who knows, maybe it's because he didn't have an attack, so lethargic, take two pills to prevent it." Fu Kun squeezed his face, stuffed the medicine into his mouth, and handed him a glass of water.

Fu Yijie had no choice but to swallow the medicine.

"Let me take you today. Don't fall in this state." Fu Kun moved his legs slowly. His knees were beginning to scab, but when they were straightened, they couldn't bend. When they were bent, they stretched. It is not straight, and every time I have to grit my teeth and toss back and forth, and move the wound until it bleeds a little before I can move.

"It's okay, don't do it, it makes my scalp numb." Fu Yijie took out the book, grabbed a few buns, turned and went out the door.

Although Fu Yijie didn't sleep, he didn't make any mistakes when driving Fu Kun by bike, and his nerves were always tense.

When he reached the school gate, he got out of the car and pushed the car inside.

There are teachers and students on duty standing on both sides, checking the dress and hairstyle.

Among the students on duty this week is Xu Jiamei. For girls, wearing the red armbands on duty and standing at the door is a cool thing. The students who come in will be inspected by the whole school at the same time. This kind of girl who is pretty, has good grades and is very pushy, probably enjoys it quite a bit, with a reserved smile on her face.

Ever since Xu Jiamei fought against Xu Jiamei in the game hall last time, Xu Jiamei would immediately put on a cold face when she saw Fu Yijie, and Fu Yijie didn't bother to look at her much.

But today, Fu Yijie had just pushed the cart two steps into the school when he heard Xu Jiamei's voice: "Fu Kun! Come here!"

Fu Kun was stunned for a while, and if Xu Jiamei called him that, he might not be there, but today, Xu Jiamei was on duty, so he hesitated for two seconds, and walked up to Xu Jiamei: "What are you doing?"

Xu Jiamei folded her arms in front of her chest and raised her chin: "What's wrong with your trouser legs?"

Fu Kun looked down at his trouser legs. Because his knee was injured, his trousers would hurt when rubbed against them, so he rolled up his trouser legs.

"I'm lame." Fu Kun looked at her.

"What about the clothes?" Xu Jiamei continued to lift her chin, "Don't you know that school uniforms are not allowed to be worn like this?"

Fu Kun's coat was unbuttoned, and he usually would have buttoned it up. Today, he was looking for medicine for Fu Yijie for a long time, but he didn't pay attention when he went out. He smiled: "Forgot."

"Quickly fasten it." Xu Jiamei also smiled.

Fu Kun had no choice but to lower his head to button his buttons. As soon as his fingers touched the first button, Xu Jiamei suddenly clicked his tongue and stretched out his hand in front of him, starting to help him button the buttons below.

"It's so slow," she said with a smile.

Fu Kun couldn't recover a little bit, Xu Jiamei's action made him a little embarrassed, reaching out to button him in front of so many people, no matter how you looked at it, it made people feel that there was something wrong with them.

"Myself..." Fu Kun took a step back.

"Don't move." Xu Jiamei grabbed his collar and pulled it in front of her.

Fu Yijie was standing by the side waiting, but after seeing the situation, he turned around and pushed the cart away: "I'll go in first."

"Well," Fu Kun responded, but immediately shouted again, "A piece of my schoolbag!"

Fu Yijie probably didn't hear it, so he walked in without looking back, walking quite fast.

"Hey, my schoolbag." Fu Kun was a little anxious, grabbed Xu Jiamei's hand and shook it, turned around and left, "I will buckle it myself."

"Ah," Fu Yijie stopped suddenly after walking a few steps, and turned around, "Schoolbag."

"You're running away!" Fu Kun chased after him, took his schoolbag from the handlebar and threw it on his back.

"Buttons." Fu Yijie pointed to his buttons, and then glanced at Xu Jiamei, Xu Jiamei stared at him, the smile on his face had disappeared.

"Well," Fu Kun lowered his head and buttoned up his buttons while muttering, "Is Xu Jiamei sick and suddenly so virtuous, those who don't know would think that I have lived with her for several years."

"Who knows what's going on with you two." Fu Yijie smiled.

"Don't you know? I'll hang out with you all day long, and I'll report to you who I went out with..." Fu Kun buttoned up his button, and flicked him on the forehead, "Okay, I'm going to the classroom, you remember to lock the car."

"Ah."

More than a month after the start of the first year of junior high school, the teacher conducted a preliminary examination. Fu Yijie was the first in the class and the third in the grade, so the teacher arranged Fu Yijie to be the monitor according to the habit.

Fu Yijie is not afraid of trouble in his studies, but he can't do other things. In elementary school, the team leader had no substantive work. In junior high school, the monitor was different. He refused to do it even if he was beaten to death. In the end, the teacher could only forcefully arrange for him to study. committee member.

Today, Fu Yijie, the study committee member who has always been serious in class, slept all morning, from the first period to the fourth period.

The fourth class is Chinese, the head teacher's class, the head teacher finally called Fu Yijie's name: "Fu Yijie, are you feeling unwell? I heard that you were sleeping during the morning classes?"

"My head hurts a little." Fu Yijie replied.

"Do you want to go to the infirmary to get some medicine?"

"No, it's much better now." Fu Yijie shook his head, he didn't want to get sick, and he didn't want to take a headache medicine after taking cold medicine in the morning.

In fact, although he was very sleepy, he didn't fall asleep. He lay on the table all morning, didn't attend class, didn't sleep, he was just thinking.

What should I do?

Xia Fei is no longer here, he can't find another person who can speak out his thoughts unscrupulously, no one can quietly listen to his little secrets and give him advice like Xia Fei.

Now he is on his own.

He could neither tell Fu Kun about his strange feelings, nor was he willing to classify himself in this way.

He likes Fu Kun, he loves to watch Fu Kun's every move since he was a child, no matter what Fu Kun looks like, he thinks it looks good, no matter what kind of Fu Kun, he can firmly attract his attention.

But it was the person who reached out to him when he was most at a loss and gave him warmth, so naturally it would have different meanings to him.

He hasn't been in love yet, and he hasn't liked anyone yet...

Fu Yijie is a person who has a good plan in his work, study plan, review plan, running plan, weight loss plan, he will have a plan for everything he does.

So now he has made a preliminary plan for himself, how he will deal with Kun, don't worry about it if he is not sure, before that, he should have a relationship!

Yes, fall in love with a girl like Fu Kun did.

However, the implementation of this plan gave Fu Yijie a headache, and he couldn't find the opportunity to start the plan at all.

In his [-] or [-] years of life from childhood to adulthood, except for a girl who said she liked him when he was in the third grade, and when he graduated from elementary school, the monitor gave him a chinchilla as a commemoration, he has never had any sex with a girl What intersection.

He doesn't like to talk, and he doesn't like to care about others. He was cute when he was a child.

It's the same after entering junior high school. After playing the basketball game, many people know him, but he always keeps silent when facing unfamiliar people...

Fu Kun should have experience in this kind of matter, but he couldn't open his mouth to ask.

Moreover, Fu Kun has the experience of being chased backwards, but the experience of taking the initiative seems to be blank. Besides, he has been obsessed with making money recently, and he has never seen any girls.

Fu Yijie has been troubled by this problem for more than a week. The family is about to start preparing for the official move, but he has not been able to start his own plan.

When lying on the bed side by side with Fu Kun rubbing his stomach at night, he couldn't help sighing.

"A little bit," Fu Kun sat up, "You have really changed a lot since you entered junior high school."

"Is it big?" Fu Yijie looked at him.

"Well," Fu Kun nodded seriously, "You have something on your mind, I can feel it, do you want to tell brother?"

Fu Yijie stared at Fu Kun for a while, suddenly felt a little embarrassed, turned over and faced the wall, and after a long silence, he suddenly said: "Why don't girls like me?"

"Ah?" Fu Kun was stunned, and after a while, he lay down next to him, and hugged him from behind, "What's the matter? Which little girl do you like? Tell brother, brother will give you advice."

"...No." Fu Yijie's whole body trembled as if he had been electrocuted when he was hugged by him.

"Why are you shivering?" Fu Kun laughed, "I didn't pinch your itch."

"It's been a long time since you hugged me like this." Fu Yijie smiled.

"Isn't that hot? When it's cold, I won't sleep with my arms around you." Fu Kun flicked his ears with his fingers, "My brother is like a small stove, it's warm to hold you in my arms." Come on, come on, tell me what's going on?"

"It's nothing, it's just a little strange."

Fu Kun quacked twice: "It's strange that I'm so cute and beautiful, and I play basketball so well, and my grades are among the best. Why didn't a girl confess? Is that so?"

"It's not that exaggerated..." Fu Yijie felt his face turn red.

"I'll tell you why," Fu Kun smiled, "Maybe our family doesn't think that you are fun when you are at home, and you talk a lot when you are with me, but Chen Li said that your brother It’s just too hard to get close to, do you know what it means to be hard to get close to?”

"I don't know." Fu Yijie muffled his voice.

"Even little girls don't dare to talk to you, because you think you don't like to talk to people, what's more," Fu Kun couldn't help laughing while talking, "You said you..."

"Understood!" Fu Yijie sat up suddenly, he knew what Fu Kun was going to say, "More than half of the girls in our class are taller than me, so you don't need to talk about that."

"I didn't intend to talk about this," Fu Kun held his stomach and laughed uncontrollably, "Why are you staring at this matter all day..."

"Happy to watch!" Fu Yijie frowned, what about dating, go away!He slapped Fu Kun's ass, "I can't stop laughing! What a fuss!"

"Stop laughing, stop laughing, ouch," Fu Kun also sat up, put his arms around him and kissed him hard on the face, and then jumped off the bed, "Why is my brother so cute?"

Fu Yijie decided to give up the plan of dating for the time being. There may be some things that don't need to be proven deliberately. After a long time, they will naturally understand.

When you really like someone, you will know it in your heart, better than anyone else.

This is what Xia Fei once told him.

One day you will know who you really like.

Fu Yijie stood at the door of Xia Fei's house, and there were many people in the corridor behind him, all of them were father's apprentices, who came to help them move.

He stood on the edge of the corridor where Xia Fei used to stand, looking at a truck in the yard. His father's apprentices were putting the things that had been moved from his house into the truck.

Furniture, various electrical appliances, and miscellaneous things, the memories of five or six years in the Tongzilou are all in those things.

And the corridor behind it.

With those neighbors who either helped each other or stumbled.

"Let's go," Fu Kun came over and patted him on the shoulder, "Let's ride over there, and parents will follow the cart."

"Yeah." Fu Yijie looked at the closed door of Xia Fei's house. He originally wanted to say goodbye to Uncle Xia and Aunt Xu.

Fu Kun saw what he was thinking, and whispered in his ear: "Let's go, don't say goodbye, I can come back and have a look later."

"Why." Fu Yijie asked subconsciously.

"Why, because I will think of Xiao Fei," Fu Kun whispered, pulling his arm and dragging him into the stairs, "Let's go."

The new home is not far from the original tube building, and it is the new dormitory area of ​​the bus company. Unlike the previous yard, this newly built dormitory is very beautiful and looks clean and tidy, much more foreign than the messy tube building before.

The new home is on the sixth floor, the top floor. Originally, my parents had the opportunity to choose the third or fourth floor, but at the critical moment, they were very polite and gave up the opportunity to a colleague with an elderly person at home. There is no elevator in the building, and the elderly go up and down the stairs. inconvenient.

It took a weekend to pack the things that were brought in, and while Dad was packing, he mourned sadly the box of junk he had thrown away by his mother.

All kinds of nails, parts removed from old electrical appliances, parts replaced on the bus, and things with no visible parts picked up from nowhere.

My mother was very happy, and kept shouting happily that she found a chance to throw all these things away!

"Stand tall and see far!" After everything was cleaned up, my mother stood on the balcony and waved, "It's great to be able to exercise every day going up and down the stairs!"

"Okay!" Fu Kun roared in the room, the room was cleaned up, and the tatami mats had already been made. He lay on it and rolled back and forth, which was much more comfortable than the small canopy bed before, " Come quickly."

"What are you doing?" Fu Yijie was wiping the bookshelf with a rag. This bookshelf was newly bought and it was very big. All his books and Fu Kun's two boxes of comic books were placed on it.

"Roll together." Fu Kun took off his clothes and pants while rolling, leaving only a pair of pants. Compared with the original tube building, this new house has one more thing, it has heating.

"Yijie go and get lost with your brother." Mom ran to get a camera, "It happens that there are still a few sheets left on this roll of film, I'll take pictures for you two."

Fu Yijie thought this kind of behavior was really stupid, but his mother was obviously very happy, so he had to go over and lie down beside Fu Kun, the two of them rolled from left to right, then from right to left, and rolled back and forth several times .

Mom took all the film, and then she was satisfied to prepare for the first meal after moving into the new home.

Fu Kunping was lying down, patting the tatami with his hands, he closed his eyes and hummed for something, after humming for a long time, he let out a long sigh of relief: "One piece."

"Huh?" Fu Yijie replied while lying on his side.

"It's really comfortable."

"Ah."

"Baby," Fu Kun turned over and looked at him with his head propped up, "Your birthday is coming soon."

"Well," Fu Yijie smiled, he liked Fu Kun talking so close to him, "Mom said to enroll me in a Taekwondo class as a birthday present."

"Practice that tall guy?" Fu Kun touched the tip of his nose.

"I don't know, I just thought it was fun." Fu Yijie closed his eyes, "Can I not mention anything?"

"What else do you want?" Fu Kun pulled the hair off his forehead, and traced his fingers along his face. Fu Yijie looks so good when his forehead is fully exposed. In the past, Fu Kun would take care of it. He looks like a girl. After junior high school, he doesn't look like a little girl anymore, but his facial features are still very delicate.

"Are you going to give me a present?"

"Well, I gave you a few paintings to fool you before, but now that you have grown up, we need to get a decent gift." Fu Kun snapped his fingers, "Tell me, what do you want?"

"Let's think about it," Fu Yijie narrowed his eyes and smiled. He didn't care whether Fu Kun gave him a gift or not, but his birthday is still a month away, and Fu Kun is already thinking about it, which makes him feel very happy , "Can I think about it slowly?"

"Okay, let me know when you think about it."

The two of them didn't talk anymore, Fu Kun looked at him for a while while propping his head like this, feeling his arms were a little sore, just when he was about to lie down, Fu Yijie suddenly opened his eyes and grabbed his arm.

"Brother, can you give me a kiss?"

"Huh? Okay." Fu Kun lowered his head and kissed him on the forehead.

"One more time." Fu Yijie squeezed his arm.

Fu Kun lowered his head and kissed the tip of his nose again: "Is that all right?"

"Come again." Fu Yijie put his hand around his neck.

"Are you okay? Why are you so sticky today?" Fu Kun wanted to pull his arm away, but Fu Yijie hugged him tightly, and he didn't move after two tugs.

"Brother," Fu Yijie whispered, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Nonsense, I've said it [-] times if not [-] times since I was a child, you are so beautiful, pay me a classmate."

"What about your girlfriends?"

"Where did those come from? It sounds like I have many girlfriends," Fu Kun clicked his tongue, "Pretty, prettier than all of them."

"Then let's kiss again."

"Did you watch something unhealthy today?" Fu Kun laughed, looking down at him.

Fu Yijie's eyelashes are very long, like two rows of small brushes, Fu Kun reached out to touch them, Fu Yijie frowned, his eyelashes trembled a few times, he touched them again, Fu Yijie simply closed them with a click Eye.

Fu Kun leaned over and kissed him on the eyes, then pulled his arm away, stretched himself and stood up: "Don't be like this in the future."

"What?" Fu Yijie still closed his eyes.

"You always ask me to kiss you, what if you fall in love with me?" Fu Kun laughed aloud, "I am so handsome and unrestrained."