Lush in Lace

-Leyland-

Scout leaned his elbows on the railing of the ground floor terrace and looked up at the stars.He didn't seem to notice me, but the night was so quiet that he couldn't ignore my existence at all.

"I used to play guns behind the stands when your band was rehearsing." After a while, Scott suddenly murmured.

His words made me frown, and I walked over and leaned against the railing too. "I know."

"I'll let them call me by my name."

I also know, and I still remember their intoxicated crying, which made me extremely jealous of those ugly girls who are not the same. "I know." I said.Scott was so drunk that he began to slur his speech, and his legs struggled with each other as if he couldn't stand up.

"I want you to hear, I want you to know what you're missing," Scott confessed, leaving me speechless.

"what!"

He tilted his head to the left and finally met my eyes. "I always turn them around so I don't have to look at them. I'll look at you and fuck them while looking at you."

My hands began to tremble slightly, and I had to fold them on my chest to prevent Scott from seeing anything.But it doesn't matter, Scott seems to be immersed in the memories of the past, and he is too drunk to care about these details.

"Sometimes when you're on, I'll make them wait," he continued. "They'll beg me, but I keep them waiting because I can only get hard when you're close to me. I'll wait for you to sit back in that fixed position and watch your ass fit perfectly into that little Iron stool. After you sit back, I will continue to fuck them, but in fact I will secretly imagine that I am fucking you." Then he muttered, "You must not know about this, squeak ?”

My heart was beating uncontrollably, my blood was boiling almost out of my blood vessels, and I could even clearly hear the sound of "bang, bang, bang". "No, I don't know." I admitted dully, completely stunned by the confession.

He tried to stand up again, but still staggered several times.Had to get him in.Everyone's gone, including Jamie and BJ, and I've got to get this drunk hunk back into the house by myself.Scott had been babbling on and on, and it took me a lot of effort to get him into my room.

"I did the back myself." Scout lisps, lying on my bed. "I'm pretending it's you, Lelan. It feels so comfortable, I didn't know it could be this comfortable." He kept talking, his eyes meeting mine. "I think it will be more comfortable if your cock comes in."

"Fuck! Lush, can you fucking shut up?" I yelled, so hard I could barely stand.I promised BJ to take it easy, but Scott's drunken utterances pushed me to the limit.I'm crazy to live out his fantasies.

After hearing my words, he showed a pained expression. "I know you'll never want me, but can you fuck me once? Just for sex and nothing else."

God, what did I do wrong?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I messed up everything, I'm sorry I didn't bend a bit more." His entire face was wrinkled in pain.

His earnest confession made my heart tingle. "You're fucking perfect the way you are, get it, Lush?" I yelled.

"I'm not, but... I'll try to be what you like. I promise, squeak." He lay on his back and closed his eyes.

"I just like you." I sat down on the edge of the bed and held his hand and said sincerely.

He shook his head on the pillow, the movement was too violent for a head that had been drinking all night, so he quickly turned pale and moaned loudly.

"Sit up a little bit," I demanded, "take your medicine."

He obediently took the medicine, hummed and lay down.

"You want me to be as petite as that guy in the kitchen. I've seen your old lovers." He's still rambling on, obviously still in disbelief that I have feelings for him, how wrong he could be .

"I just want you to take a good rest right now."

"Will you sleep with me then?" he asked again.

If I had any sanity left, I should have left and slept in the guest room.

"Of course, I'll sleep with you."

I got up and turned off the light and climbed into bed next to Scott.He closed his eyes calmly, his chest rising and falling with slow, deep breaths.I'm sure he's asleep, his body warm enough to lure me closer.I forced myself to stay in the small space that belonged to me, and finally I couldn't help but leaned over and held his hand.It was such a small gesture, but I really couldn't help wanting to touch him.

I laughed, feeling a little ironic.After all these years, I finally got Scott Lush into my own bed, but all I could do was hold his hand.But I am also very satisfied, being able to be close to him is enough.Besides, I haven't forgotten that BJ said to take his time, and Scott can't be overwhelmed by impatience.Not to mention that he is still drunk and unconscious, I must not take advantage of his danger.

I finally closed my eyes, and in the midst of a half-dream, I heard Scott's voice piercing the silence of the room.

"They said I was a 'philanthropist'".he said softly.

For a moment, I almost thought he was talking in his sleep. "Who?" I asked.

Scott turned his head to face me, his hand still in mine. "Friends from college. No! They're not my friends." He immediately shook his head in denial, and groaned in pain. "They're bastards! When I lead the team to win, they support me and my gay brother; I didn't see their true colors until I hurt my knee. They said a lot of nasty things. Say I'm' Aiji people', said that even if my leg is healed, I will still sit on the bench—something like this." He was raving, his eyelids were so heavy that they would close at any time due to the double effect of drowsiness and alcohol.

I knew Scott was talking about something important, but because I had a different experience than him, I didn't quite understand what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" I asked him.

"I love BJ, he's my brother. I love you too—well... I mean your brother," he corrected. "I won't let them..." He stopped in the middle of the sentence, and I was afraid that he would fall asleep again.

"How about making them?" I asked hastily.

His eyelids fluttered slightly, and he continued: "Let them say that about the person I love, my family - the man I have secretly loved for many years. No one knows, not even you, Zhi Zhi." He was immersed in the memory that I didn't know about, smiled proudly, and added: "So it's worth it."

A sense of foreboding made me restless, but I pressed, "What's worth it?"

"Smash that self-righteous stupid pig's jaw, and let Coach Max fuck it. Half the team was on the line to stop me." He was also complacent. "Even if it happened again, I'd still do it for you and BJ."

"For, for me?"

"You," he repeated, squeezing my hand. "You are the person I am covering, and no one can say that about you again."

God. "You've been fired, haven't you?" I asked after finishing his disjointed story.

"No. The college doesn't want to be a bad influence, so it wants me to shut up. But I hate it. It's full of conservative bastards. Seeing them makes me realize that I am a real person." Coward button. God!" he whimpered. "I'm sorry, Leland, I'm really sorry."

"Shh...it's okay, it's okay." I gently rubbed his hand with both hands to comfort him. "You did nothing wrong, Scott."

"No, I was wrong!" He retorted stubbornly, speaking incoherently, which made me unable to keep up with his messy thinking. "I wasn't ready, sorry. I hated it, hated the business class and hated the finance class. I tried to stay, but I like cats and dogs, like all animals. I never let myself get involved with these , but I still can't help loving them."

"My God." I whispered.

No one understood Scott's gibberish except me.Suddenly everything became clear—the real reason Scott had dropped out, his financial constraints, his stubbornness, everything.He defended his gay brother (and me) against a bunch of ignorant, homophobic crap, and he left home because of me.

I couldn't be more miserable.After he dropped out of school, my bad ridicule to him emerged like a nightmare.I laughed at him for being so stupid that even if he won the full scholarship, he would not be able to survive a year of college.I also ridiculed him for being lazy and lacking perseverance.While he was protecting himself and his loved ones, I rubbed salt in his wounds and beat him emotionally when he was physically wounded.

Scott's breathing became long and heavy, and he finally fell into a deep sleep.I stared at him, at this time he was so handsome and peaceful, he was really a kind person from the bottom of his heart.Although he was bigger than most men, I knew he never hurt anyone with his size and strength, never.Even on the court, he will avoid causing real damage to opponents.

We bickered all the time—that was our thing—but Scout never said a single harsh word to anyone, which was another reason I fell in love with him.I watched his chest rise and fall with his breath, and my heart ached almost to pieces.I have let him down too many times.Hold!He had my back all the way and I didn't know it.I wanted his love, but I didn't do a single thing worthy of his love.

I gently let go of his hand, got out of bed and went downstairs.I couldn't sleep at all, and the clock on the mantelpiece reminded me that the night was getting late, and I didn't have time to think about it.There is still a lot to deal with, a lot to make up.Sorry if I offended some people because I called them too early.I have to prove to the man I love: I am worthy of his love.I just hope it's enough to convince him.

***

The next morning, Scott woke up late, looking a little bad from his first hangover.

He washed his face and ran his fingers casually through his thick, sexy blonde hair.There was a faint scent of peppermint in the air, and it seemed that he had found a spare toothbrush.

"Hi." I poured a cup of coffee from the coffee pot on the cabinet and handed it to him.

"Hi." He took the coffee and held it in his big hands.

"Are you feeling okay?"

He shrugged. "It's okay, thank you for letting me sleep here."

"Don't be so polite." I replied unhappy, feeling more and more guilty.

"Did BJ know I was drunk last night?" he asked uneasily.

"I know."

"Fuck!" He ran his fingers into his hair angrily. "What about my mother?"

"She doesn't know at all. And, as long as you promise me never to drink again, I'll keep my mouth shut."

I don't want to meddle in Scott's life.He's a grown man, and he's perfectly fine drinking if he wants to, but he also knows how much he'll hate himself for being out of control.Alcohol wasn't for him, and if being with Scott meant I had to abstain from alcohol, I think I'd be more than happy.

"No more." He agreed immediately.

"Good, because I don't want to be drunk."

"What, what?" He raised his head in surprise.

"And make me suffer one more night while you're passed out, and I'll die." My words confused him even more.

"what are you saying?"

"You said something deafening last night, Lush."

"God," he whispered ruefully, rubbing his temple with his other hand.

"How much do you remember about last night?" I asked, turning my head and putting the empty glass in the sink.

He moved and leaned casually against the door frame. "I still remember we watched the video, I remember seeing you and your red-haired boyfriend in the kitchen," he said wistfully, shrugging, "after that, things were a little blurry."

I turned around too, and waited for him to look at me intently before I said, "Well, you heard me clearly, Lush. First of all, Cameron is not - and never will be - my boyfriend. We are in I haven't fucked anyone since that night together, and I haven't had anyone around for nearly a year before that. Get it?"

I clearly sensed his surprise.

"I know you're not gay, and I can accept that for a while." I didn't stop. "I won't force you, but I can't go on like this anymore. I don't want to quarrel with you anymore."

"Lylan, I—"

I raised my hand to signal him to stop before he could say any more.I've got to explain, I've spent most of the night thinking about what I'm going to tell Scott this morning, and I have to finish before I lose my nerve.

"Listen to me first, Scott?" I softened my voice. "I think as long as we work hard, we can get along well. I promise I will work hard, and you don't need to leave anymore. I checked, and the local public university has a very good veterinary training course, and the qualifications are all over the country. Admittedly, the new semester starts in two weeks, and there are still a few places left."

"You're smart, Scott, I know that. Even though you're always focused on sports, your grades are good, and you might even get a scholarship. Even if you don't, I'll be with you." Mom talked about it and she's willing to help. Me too, BJ and Jamie are willing to help. I also called Remo, he has a spare room above the garage, not very big, just one bedroom, But it's furnished and it's close to the school. It's been empty for a while, so he won't charge you rent until you're back on your own. It's yours if you want it."

The confusion on Scott's face was as expected. "Why are you doing this?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Honestly?" I shrugged. "To apologize. I'm tired of arguing, and I don't want to care about what happened to us in the past. Now I want to go further with you."

Scott looked away from me, and I immediately remembered BJ's warning. "I won't put pressure on you, Lush. I know you're not used to having feelings for a man, I can accept it, and I won't ask you for more than you want, but—"

Before I could finish speaking, or even take a breath, Scott walked up to me, grabbed the back of my head, and pressed my lips hard against his.The kiss was fast and frantic, mixed with relief and eagerness.He took every breath of air from my lungs and every thought from my head.I didn't have time to think about it, grabbing his upper arm and pulling him closer while he hugged me harder.I've never been with a man much bigger than me, but Scott's warm hug feels like home to me.

When we finally had to part, Scott's face was already flushed, and our kisses made his lips watery, making him very attractive.

"You don't know anything, Zhizhi," he said breathlessly. "I knew what I wanted — what I'd always wanted. It just took me so long to get my heart and my head on the same line."

He must have read the look of anticipation on my face.

"I'm not saying I'm gay, straight or bi. I don't know how you make me feel. I don't like being labeled, but I like you, like you very much, Lelan. I want to try , I don’t want to just be friends with you. I can’t guarantee that I will be aligned with political correctness all of a sudden, and I can’t even say whether I can get used to making boyfriends right away, but I want to work hard.”

"Boyfriend?" This time it was my turn to be surprised.Everything he said, I never dared to think about it in my dreams.

Scott tensed up. "Unless you have someone else, or you're not interested—"

"No! No one else, but I'm particularly interested." I quickly explained, and then I leaned forward and kissed him again.

After the kiss was over, he looked down at me with a worried expression. "I'm so glad you said that. I'm not an angel, Xiao Lai. I'm a typical rough guy. I can't change what I say and do. I can't change that." He said sincerely. "I might still say something very outrageous at some point, or even say something that will make you think I'm heartless," he continued, "but it must not be intentional, then you must tell me, Because I never meant to break your heart. I want you, Leland. Damn! I really want you." There was a tinge of anger in his voice. "But I'm not perfect. I promise I will work hard and tell you what to say, but you have to treat me like this. Do you think you can do it, Zhizhi?"

I nodded mechanically.I was given a second chance to be happy with Scott, and for that I would do anything he said.

"Okay, let's go and see Rui Mo's apartment right away." He excitedly grabbed my hand, walked in front and dragged me.I was so surprised that I didn't know what to say, but I have never felt happier in all these years.