solo not solo

Children learn to speak really fast, especially after they can say two or three words. It can be said that there will be new changes every day.But as we all know, under normal circumstances, when a child first reads a word to an adult, he/she may not necessarily understand the meaning. , I slowly realized what I wanted to express when I got older.

But Tiao Tiao does not belong to the above-mentioned category, because unfortunately he is a very rare child with extraordinary understanding ability.In short, sentences that ordinary children of his age may not understand can be understood by him after listening to them a few times, and he can even say them.

Recently, he has been saying some new words every day, and his little head absorbs all kinds of knowledge as quickly as a sponge absorbs water.Pronunciation may not be accurate, and sometimes they need to guess when flying solo, but most of the time this brat can express his thoughts.At least Solo is sure that he understands what "smelly girl" means.

"Tiaotiao, the word 'stinky girl' is only for grandmas, you can't call it. If you call aunt like that, you're scolding, you're a bad boy."

"What's that called?" Sitting on the dining chair like a little adult, Tiao Tiao very "elegantly" wiped his greasy little mouth with a paper towel, raised his face and asked Solo.

"Just call me aunt." Shan Fei said.

"Of course, if you call me pretty aunt, I'll be happier." Liu Zhenbei laughed.

"Hypocrisy!" After speaking, Tiaotiao stuck out her little tongue and shook her face from side to side, then said to the food stamp: "Handsome uncle, get rid of her! She is hypocritical! Don't hold back!"

Dumbfounded by the food stamps, Liu Zhenbei immediately became angry, and said, "Do you think you are possessed by a goblin? You stinking child! Where did you learn all this?!"

"Self taught!"

"I pooh you self-taught brat!" Liu Zhenbei pinched Tiaotiao's nose, "Quickly say something nice, otherwise I'll sell you to a poor mountain ditch."

"Qiangshangou?" Tiaotiao scratched his head, as if he didn't quite understand. After thinking for a long time, he said, "Isn't it a brothel?"

"Liu Zelong!" Shan Fei slapped the table, "Come here!" How did this kid know this?Obviously he never taught this at all!And more importantly, isn't this kid talking in two or three words?How can you say five ligatures so smoothly?It's fine if it's some common sentences, he can understand that he learned them from cartoons or nursery rhymes, but... that's clearly composed by him!

The housekeeper spoke, and Tiaotiao immediately got off the dining chair and stood in front of Shan Fei, asking cautiously, "Feifei, what are you doing?"

"Tell me carefully, who taught you what you said just now? What kind of brothel? Also, repeat what you just said."

Tiaotiao was a little scared, Feifei was rarely so strict with him.Never mind, it's important to ask Dad for help first, "Dad... help~"

"Don't call!" Shan Fei glared at Liu Zhendong, then looked at Xiao Tiao, and said, "It's useless to call anyone. To be honest, where did you learn it?"

"Son, it's okay, just tell the truth. As long as you don't lie, Feifei won't blame you." After Liu Zhendong said that, he showed a soothing smile, looked at Shan Fei and asked, "Is it okay, wife?"

Solo nodded reluctantly.

Tiaotiao stuck out her tongue and decided to confess, so she said, "Didn't it say on TV, 'Look at my aunt, I won't sell you to a brothel!'? I just remembered..."

"You!" Shan Fei's head grew big, this kid can actually say such words!Can speak such a long sentence!

"Then why do you keep talking all the time?" Liu Zhenbei asked.

"Yeah son, why don't you connect them together and say it together? Just like just now, isn't it great?" Liu Zhendong didn't understand.

"Practice and cherish your words like gold." Tiaotiao said very seriously: "Didn't Dad say that a man who talks a lot makes him look like a bitch? Then I am a man, how can I be like a bitch? I want to be like my father too. , very masculine!"

"Really?" Liu Zhendong stroked his chin proudly, and asked, "Where did you hear the last sentence?"

"It's what Feifei said!" Tiaotiao pointed to Solo, "He also said that Dad is a big bird, but I never understood what it meant. Dad, do you have a bird on you? Why haven't I seen it fly out? "

this bear boy...

Flying solo really wants to plunge into the ground pretending to be an ostrich!

Food stamps and Liu Zhenbei were lying on the table and couldn't look up, but the shrugging of the shoulders was painful no matter how they looked at it.Should he be grateful that there are only four adults at this table, and the eldest aunt and second uncle are not there?

"Good son, heck, Dad will tell you this when you grow up a little bit, okay? You come here first." Liu Zhendong waved his hand, called the child to him and said, "Now let's talk about it first, and you can't learn to speak in the future." What kind of words are like gold, because it is not good for you. Look, isn’t Dad talking to you now? As long as men don’t talk nonsense and lies, they are very manly, understand? "

"Understood, but I heard Feifei told Uncle Xiaoli that Dad, when you first joined the army, you never spoke."

"Well... That's because Dad didn't know much at the time, so he didn't know what to say. But you are different, son. You are still young, and you can learn a lot as soon as possible, so that you won't be afraid of having nothing to say in the future."

"Oh, that's it. Well, anyway, I think it's better to talk like this now. Otherwise, I have to add body movements every time, which is very laborious."

"My son, you are indeed my seed, Liu Zhendong! Are you very good~" Liu Zhendong stroked the head of the eldest son, and said happily.

"Does the 'kind' here refer to seeds?" Tiaotiao asked seriously.

"……Yes."

"Then I was planted by my father?" Tiao Tiao was surprised.Very good!He can finally know how he got here!Every time I ask Feifei, Feifei always says that he jumped out from a crack in the rock!But this is too unscientific, it is clearly lying to him!

"It can be said like this..." Liu Zhendong glanced at Shan Fei's face, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

"Where is that plant, Dad?"

"Plant... in the ground~"

"Where is that place? Dad, take me to see it!" Tiaotiao hurriedly grabbed Liu Zhendong's trousers and pushed hard towards the door.

And "Di" looked at the two of them very speechlessly...

What kind of miraculous thing did he do in his previous life to meet such two guys as his family? I'm a maggot...

Liu Zhendong is also very curious, what kind of good things did he do in his previous life to meet such a lovely son, unexpectedly he asks endless questions, and they are all very technical questions, not at all like this age group The child will ask!Damn, for the first time, I feel that what I have learned is not enough!

The change in Tiaotiao's language was really terrified, terrified, and at the same time terrified the whole family, but I have to admit that the process of starting to explain his confusion after that was also very nerve-wracking.But generally speaking, this is indeed a good thing.

Solo even made a special book of jumping classic quotations, just memorizing the magical sentences that popped out of his mouth.For example: Don't play cool clothes with my brother, I will beat you to find chrysanthemums everywhere!Another example, brother is engaged, please don't come close!Another example: What you walk is the road, what you sell is cuteness, and what you reap is egg pain!Again and again...

"Why did you get egg pain?" Solo asked curiously after finishing memorizing.They went to buy some things in the morning, and they were going to take them with them on the way to Beijing to eat. It was only for a while that Kung Fu Tiaotiao left him, and they didn't have any other time.And this sentence happened at that time.

"Don't mention Feifei, I was almost smoked to death." Tiaotiao peeled off the skin of the grape and fed it into Solo Fei's mouth, then said: "When Dad was paying the bill, I saw a very cute teddy dog, I beckoned to it, and an aunt with heavy makeup came over, and that perfume smelled... Oh, you almost never see your cute jump again!"

"Brat, why didn't you run away immediately?"

"Because Dad is here, they seem to know each other. Dad called that person 'Teacher Xu'."

"and after?"

"Later? Then I said: Dad, Mom and brother are waiting for us, let's go. Then we will come back! Because I can see that Dad doesn't like the smell of that aunt either."

"You're a weirdo, so you're not afraid of people saying they want to see what your mother looks like?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"Where did you come from?"

"Isn't it you?" Tiaotiao rolled his eyes and said, "Don't think I don't know that you are that 'di'~"

"Liu Zelong!" Solo almost choked on his own saliva!When did this stinky boy know!

"Don't get excited, Feifei, I also know that Uncle Xiaoli belongs to Uncle He~"

Ye Chenli didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and finally surrendered: "Don't involve me, as soon as I hear you discussing these issues in a childlike voice, I can't help but suspect that these little ones of you are not human beings."

"Mother-in-law, don't be silly, I will marry Xiao Lisheng as my daughter-in-law when I grow up, why can't you hear my voice?"

"..." Ye Chenli twitched his cheek twice, and fell silent.He couldn't answer the conversation, and his heart couldn't bear it any longer.This kid is really going to be a monster.

The aunt laughed so hard that she even coughed after a while.This grandson is really too funny. If he is asked to act in a show, the name will definitely be: 1 can't stand it.

This time there were quite a few people attending the wedding between Liu Zhenbei and the food stamps. In addition to the Liu and He families in this business car, the three off-road vehicles behind were also full.The second uncle and Mr. Zhao were in the off-road vehicle following the commercial vehicle, and behind them were food stamps and Zhao Shan, who had a close relationship with them.

Originally, Liu Zhenbei and Liang Piao didn't want to get married so early, especially because Liu Zhenbei still had two elder brothers who were still unaccounted for, but Mr. Liang was in a hurry, and he wanted to hug his great-grandson, so...

"Anyway, you have to behave well for me, and then don't make jokes and let the mother clean up for you." The aunt showed the aura of the minister's wife, and said to her daughter with concern.

"Oh, mom, don't worry, I won't come to you if I have anything to do. I'll go to look for my elder brother, but my elder brother will pack up the food stamps and come here one after another? Hahaha." Liu Zhenbei patted his eldest nephew on the face Said: "I'm talking about Tiaotiao? Then you will be responsible for opening the door for aunt."

"I don't want it!" Tiaotiao resolutely said: "Every time you come, I will sleep with you, Dad and Feifei will go out on a date, hum! If you dare to come, I will call the handsome uncle , Let him pick you up!"

"You little heartless!"

"And the handsome uncle promised to take me to the zoo after returning from Beijing, but you didn't promise me anything. You don't even know how to bribe, and you still want me to help you? It's a good idea!"

"I'll give you the chance to be a flower girl, isn't that considered a bribe?" Liu Zhenbei was really defeated by him, and Xiaozui can tell, how long it took...

Tiao Tiao looked at Liu Zhenbei with hopeless eyes, shook her head and said to Shan Fei: "Feifei, is she really my aunt? Why is her father and uncles so smart, but she is so stupid? She really isn't a stinky girl, she's just a silly girl. When I become a flower girl for her, I have to act cute, laugh, and sing, what kind of bribe do you think this is!"

Liu Zhen Beiqi was either smiling or not, and finally pinched Tiaotiao's face and said: "How can you be so evil!"

Tiao Tiao spread his hands, "No way, my dad's farming skills are too good, and his land is too fertile, so my little crop is so powerful~" Turning to look at Solo Fei, "Isn't it Feifei?"

Solo didn't respond, because he suddenly thought of a very serious problem...

When he was tossing in the river that night, Liu Zhendong went straight into his body, without a condom, what the hell, who is going to tell him what to do with this fertile land now? ? ?