Arty Records

Before the Dragon Boat Festival, Fang Duzhi called his son to go home for a few days.

"Father, I want... to go back after the festival. The teacher is not in good health recently. He wants to go back to Xiaobailou for the Dragon Boat Festival, but the nursing home won't let him. At his age, no one can go to see..."

"It's the end of the holiday!" Hearing his son's timid voice, Fang Duzhi said impatiently, "Okay, why don't you just come back after the holiday. Don't try to run around during the summer vacation, stay at home obediently!"

"Okay." He hung up the phone and let out a soft breath.Fang Sishen dare not go home yet.He is not ready yet, and he will definitely be seen as something wrong when he returns home. At that time, what will he use to resist his father's interrogation and scrutiny?He dare not think.

Although using the teacher as an excuse, it is also the truth.The weather had just turned hot, and the old man was greedy for cold and wind, which caused his old asthma. He stayed in the hospital for more than a month, and almost received a critical illness notice.Usually, the cost of recuperation is fixed from the public subsidy that Hua Dingsong enjoys. This temporary hospitalization involves many additional reimbursement procedures.No matter how bad Fang Sishen was at handling these things, he had no choice but to bite the bullet and run to each yamen.At the beginning of the handover with Hao Yi, I was mentally prepared for this, not to mention complaints, and I didn't even show a look of impatience.Thanks to the unexpected tedious world affairs, he didn't have much time to worry about depression.

There was no class on the Dragon Boat Festival, so I got up early in the morning and went to Yifangzhai to queue up to buy freshly wrapped fresh meat dumplings.Huada Ding Chuzhou taste, don't eat sweet and greasy bean paste and jujube stuffing.Elderly people have weak stomachs and cannot eat more rice dumplings, so Fang Sishen still bought a big bag.Living in the nursing home is lonely, let the teacher send off the nurses and patients, it is lively and lively.

When he brought zongzi and fruit into the room and asked the nurse to help distribute them, Hua Dading smacked his lips with a smile: "Not bad, not bad, I'm much more sensible."

The teacher and the student talked slowly, and Fang Sishen handed the passbook to the teacher.Every time the expense is reimbursed, he will go directly to the bank to deposit it.Hua Dingsong didn't answer, but took out a piece of paper from the drawer: "Here is a list, you can remit the money for me according to the address and amount on it, and you can hold this booklet for me first, and you don't need to do anything." convenient."

Fang Sishen took it over and took a look. There were about five or six names and addresses in other cities. Some of them had heard of them, but most of them were not familiar with them.

I heard Hua Dingsong sigh: "They are all old friends for decades. Some people have long since disappeared. Widows don't eat public meals, and their children are trapped in the countryside. Life is very hard. Although some are rehabilitated, But I have not been able to implement the policy, and I have been living in the tube building under the name of a professor. I am alive, and I donate money every time, and I am dead, so I can’t take care of these nosy things.”

"Teacher..." Fang Sishen held the thin list, feeling as heavy as Mount Tai.

Hua Dingsong blinked his radiant eyes: "Old man, I have lived so far, and I have already stepped into the coffin with one foot. The sun is setting, and I am dying. I can't bear your 'teacher' in vain. I will teach you today, kid." A little bit of the true meaning of being a human being. Come, our teachers and students will not talk about learning today, but just talk about common affairs." Then, he tapped the big enamel jar in front of him, signaling Fang Sishen to refill his tea.

"The first sentence, you remember, is called 'death to face and suffer'. Thinking of the 'reactionary academic authorities' who were punished with me at the beginning, who is not full of ink? Of these people who survived, except for the particularly shameless one, How many of them have mixed into Xiaobailou’s house and lived in a nursing home for many years and were reimbursed at public expense?”

With an old urchin's sly look on his face, he lowered his voice: "Do you know how I got my house and allowance?"

Fang Sishen shook his head.

The old man stroked his beard proudly, then shook his head: "I came back from the first year of rehabilitation, and I had no place to live, so I held documents every day, carried a quilt, and slept at the gate of the party office of the School and Political Administration—that is, East Sitiao, Tianshuifang. On the main street, the Cultural Affairs Bureau passed the door diagonally. The courtyard said to give me a single room, but I will not do it. They insisted that they implement all the confiscated property in place according to the document level, and return all the confiscated property. It was only at the bottom at that time After "exercise and transformation", sleeping on the steps of the capital's yamen is more comfortable than a stable in a cowshed. In the end, the director felt ashamed and urged his subordinates to complete the formalities for me. Haha..."

After fighting for a long time, Hua Dingsong held the enamel jar with one hand, and suddenly suppressed his smile: "Shameless, not shameless. Sucking carbuncles and hemorrhoids is worse than sleeping on the street."

"At this age, the benefits of sacrificing face at the beginning are obvious: you have a house to live in, and you have money to work. Ask me who is half buried in the earth, what do you want money for? I tell you, money can last your life! What do you do with your life? In my life, Hua Dingsong, except for the first ten years discounted for no reason, and the second ten years delayed for no reason, I have not wasted a single day of the rest. If he hadn't given up his face back then, he might not have paid for the medical expenses today, so how dare he talk about the rest?"

Patting the passbook on the table, he sighed softly: "And there are tens of thousands of mansions, and the shelter of the poor and the poor are all happy - that is a dream. I have been doing it for more than 1000 years, and I should have woken up."

The teacher's narration contains profound suffering and sorrow, and also shows boundless open-mindedness and tenacity, like a strong buoyancy, slowly lifting Fang Sishen from the gloomy and depressed heart lake.

"The second sentence is called 'right and wrong, success or failure, turn your head to empty'. Everyone knows this sentence. When it really falls on their own head, how many remember this sentence? When I was your age, I thought that learning was only the essence. There is no right or wrong, success or failure. Of course, I soon found out that this is not the case. In this life, I have seen how many knowledge emerges as the times require, and rises with the times. My face has long been ruined, and my bones are as soft as the wind. Even myself, how could I not show off my own speed, drift with the tide, follow the trend, and hate for life? It can be seen that it is hard to distinguish between the true and the false. , Right and wrong, success or failure turns head empty. If you really want to learn, you should always pass the steelyard in your heart when encountering gains and losses."

When Hua Dingsong said this, he was silent for a long time.Fang Sishen understood that the teacher was telling a painful lesson based on his life experience, so he listened attentively.

"It's a pity that time is the only thing in this world that doesn't spare people. I was confused at the time, but I realized later that this whole life was wasted for nothing. I used to devote myself to learning and always thought that my life's merits and virtues were in it. Recently...but I often have vain thoughts .”

Fang Sishen raised his head suddenly, not knowing why the teacher said this.

Hua Dingsong pointed to the books and classics piled up everywhere in the house: "These things used to be my life. I was lying in the hospital for a month, and when I came back to see it, I suddenly realized that it was nothing more than that. Day and night What came to mind was actually his son An Shi and his mother whom he hadn't recalled for many years.

"Xiao An, just like you, also lost her mother at the age of eight. During the second major reform, her mother was dragged down by me and went to prison. Because of poor health, she didn't survive. I have a rough temper and don't know how to take care of children. And He couldn't take care of himself, he followed me and endured a lot of hardships. After staying with me for seven years, he went to Manggan Road. Who would have thought that only one year would be the eternal separation of Yin and Yang? When he... left this world... only. "

Hua Dingsong's eyes were cloudy, but there were no tears.Hold the tea mug with both hands, lift it up, and put it down again.

"I used to seldom think about these things. I didn't want to, and I didn't dare. Looking at it now, I, Hua Dingsong, boasted that I was tough all my life, and I have caused my wife and children here. Even if my writings are as long as I am, and my name lasts forever, what's the taste?... Whether it is success or failure Turn your head empty. In this world, is there anything you can’t live up to? Only people who can’t live up to you.”

With a long sigh, he turned his gaze away from a distance and looked at the little disciple in front of him.Hua Dingsong patted Fang Sishen's hand: "These few times I saw you, each time I became thinner and less energetic. I know that you are indifferent and detached, and you are not easily shaken. What is it? How difficult is it?"

"Teacher..." Fang Sishen resisted the choking in his throat and wiped away his tears, "It's nothing...the big deal. It's just that it's sad to hear what the teacher said about the past..."

"No matter how sad you are, don't you still have to get through it? In this life, there are grievances and grievances that cannot be eliminated in the heart, and there is no right and wrong that cannot be seen in front of the eyes. There are truths that cannot be discerned until death, and there is no success or failure that cannot be let go while alive. There is something that can't be done. There is no one around you who can't reach the end of the matter in your hands. Remember, no matter what you can do, do what you can, don't embarrass yourself. "

Fang Sishen quickly wiped away tears, nodded: "Thank you, teacher... the students have written it down."

In this teacher-to-teacher talk, the hurt cannot be healed, but the knot in the heart can be opened.A few days later, Fang Sishen returned to his usual calm and calm when he received a call from his younger sister to make an appointment for dinner: "Yi Xin, let's talk first, it's just us two brothers and sisters, I have something to tell you."

The confused brother occasionally poses as a big brother, which has always been quite deterrent.Hu Yixin originally had the idea of ​​leading someone on a blind date, when he heard this sentence, he didn't dare to make mistakes, so he obediently agreed.It is the first time for her to send her graduation class this year, so there is no need to elaborate on her nervousness and busyness.Since the Wei Deli incident last time, it has been more than half a year since I saw Fang Sishen.Although the foreign devil withdrew to Citigroup, there was a knot in his heart as a younger sister.So just after the college entrance examination, I opened the address book and classmates to search for a potential sister-in-law. Unexpectedly, my brother also had experience, so he blocked himself first.

Beginning from the end of June, as usual, students enter the peak period of consumption of human favors, and there are a lot of various reunions, break-up meals, and teacher appreciation banquets.Usually, the teacher appreciation banquet is held later, and it is not until the results are released and the admission notice is announced that the big fanfare will be made.However, Young Master Hong's teacher appreciation banquet was held in a low-key and grand manner ahead of schedule.Hong Yaoge booked a luxury box in the five-star hotel "Cuiwei Building" and invited the teachers who had taught his son in Guoyi High School to dinner.Although Hu Yixin didn't teach Hong Xinyao directly, he often called Hong Xinyao in private, so he also received a bronzing invitation.

The teacher appreciation banquet must be really promising for the students, so that it is worthy of the name and hearty.We all know that Hong Xinyao's grades will not be on the table. It is estimated that some family members have opened up their joints and made proper arrangements.The teachers kept secret about the young master's study life and future whereabouts.So a meal is high-end, but also embarrassing.The table was full of people who really talked freely with the Hong family and his son. Except for the class teacher, Mr. Cai, there was only one non-staff Hu Yixin left.

After dinner, Hong Yaoge sent a car to take the teachers home.Hong Xinyao dragged Hu Yixin to the end.The two were already very close. Young Master Hong felt that Mr. Hu occasionally had the feeling of the second sister, and knowing her relationship with Fang Sishen, they were naturally very close.Hu Yixin liked Hong Xinyao's character very much. Although there were a lot of minor problems, the most important thing was that his nature was not bad, so he treated each other sincerely, unlike other teachers who were superficially perfunctory.

"Where do you go on vacation?"

"I don't have time to play. My dad asked me to help him. The second sister is getting married at the end of the year, and she wants me to go back and advise her. I have a lot of things to do in Beijing!"

"Hey! Busy man." Hu Yixin smiled.In my heart, I have to admit that Young Master Hong looks like an adult now.

"By the way, Xin, the expert Huang you introduced last time, can you give me his phone number? The yard is going to be renovated, and the real estate company wants to hire him as a full-time consultant. Do you think... he can agree? Maybe in the future There are similar projects, so this should be regarded as protecting traditional culture, right?"

Hu Yixin thought about it, and took out the number from his phone: "Try it. Tell the boss to be more polite to him. It doesn't mean how much you get paid, the key is to be more polite."

"Understood." Hong Xinyao secretly speculated that she must not know about that.If you can, just ask her to never know.

"Which school do you plan to report to in September?" Hu Yixin asked directly, unlike others who had concerns.

Can't say yet, Young Master Hong's expression didn't change: "We're in contact...it's not decided yet, my dad wants me to stay in the capital."

"If it's settled, let us know."

"Of course." Hong Xinyao nodded.

Hong Yaoge arranged to send other teachers away and returned. Seeing his son sitting dryly with Teacher Hu, he hurriedly said, "Why don't you order something to drink? You're so ignorant."

"No, I should go too." Hu Yixin stood up.

But Hong Xinyao stopped her: "Let's talk for a while." Turning his head to his father, he said, "I'll see Teacher Hu off later, Dad, you are busy with your work." Then he rang the bell and called the waiter, "What would you like to drink?"

Hu Yixin looked at him, as if he had something extra to say, and sat down again.

Hong Yaoge was very relieved of his son now, so he said hello and left first.Hong Xinyao asked for a pot of tea, rushed the waiter away, and filled Teacher Hu himself.

Hu Yixin smiled: "Which one is this...?"

"Sister Xin, can I ask you a few questions? It's...a more personal question." First Young Master Hong deliberately lowered his head, unable to see the expression on his face clearly, but the slightly stiff posture and support The hands on the knees revealed the tension in my heart.

Hu Yixin picked up the cup: "Talk about it first."

"If... If you like someone, but he doesn't like you, what should you do?"

It turned out to be the beautiful love troubles of youth.This brat, if you don't study hard and study hard for the exam, when did you fall in love?Hu Yixin deliberately said indifferently: "I will not make such low-level mistakes. I only like people who like me."

"Ah?" Unexpectedly, it was this kind of answer. Hong Xinyao was stunned for a moment, and then said with a bitter face, "Who wants to make such a low-level mistake? When you find out that you like it, it will be too late."

Seeing how serious he was, Hu Yixin also stopped teasing: "I already like it? How much do you like it?"

"It's just... I want to see him all the time, I dream of him every night, the words he said will come out automatically, I think of everything with him I am very happy, I think he looks good everywhere , everything is better than others..."

I want to get close to him, kiss him, hug him, own him, attract all his attention, occupy all his time, grasp all his movements, control his emotions... Hundreds and thousands of thoughts converge in my heart, and I feel a little timid. More than opening the mouth, more simply cannot be expressed in words.Hong Xinyao expressed his surging love with the most straightforward words, and the strong emotion contained in it shocked Hu Yixin.

Judging by his appearance, he is clearly obsessed.Hu Yixin took a sip of tea and said slowly: "You said just now that she doesn't like you—how do you know she doesn't like you?"

Young Master Hong seemed to have been frostbitten in an instant, and his whole body went limp.It took a long time before he said: "I did something very sorry for him. Even...even if I liked it a little, but now I hate it..."

"I liked it a little at first, isn't that hopeful? Take the initiative to apologize and give some thoughtful gifts. It won't work once, but it won't work twice, three times or four times. Persistence is victory. Girls, just use more thought and coax slowly. "

"He's not a girl... an ordinary girl, it's useless." Hong Xinyao shook his head, the more he thought about it, the more desperate he became, "It's useless, he won't forgive me, he said he never wants to see me again, I know, he You really don't want to see me..."

"That's what people say, the legs still grow on your body!"

"I dare not...I want to see him, but...don't dare..."

Hu Yixin thought of something, and his eyes suddenly became sharp: "Jin Tu, what did you do to be sorry for him?"

"I..." Hong Xinyao opened his mouth, but said nothing.His wide-open eyes were dazed and helpless, as if he was about to cry the next moment.

Hu Yixin sighed secretly: "Jin Tu, you are not a child anymore, you have to consider the consequences of every word and action. If you make a mistake, you have to take responsibility." Soften your voice, "Are you a classmate at school? The other party's parents do you know?"

"It's not a classmate...he's older than me, so he doesn't have anything to do with parents."

"How big is it?"

"Well, he is the same age as my second sister, nine years older than me." After saying that, he realized that the age gap was like a gap, and Hong Xinyao was stunned for a moment.

Hu Yixin breathed a sigh of relief.The woman is so much older, it is estimated that she is just teasing the children, at most cheating some money, and it should not cause any trouble.

Seeing Young Master Hong's distraught look, he said: "Okay, don't be so cowardly. A man is a man, dare to be brave. Didn't the ancients say that sincerity is what makes gold and stone. If you really like her so much, then Find a way to make her forgive you and like you. If it’s not possible, at least try hard and leave no regrets.” Pat him on the shoulder, “It’s easy to say that you like others. If you like it, it’s really interesting.”

Fang Sishen was busy with the final exam, and finally found time to meet his sister before going home.

Talking about the current situation with each other, Hu Yixin couldn't help it, and promoted his sister-in-law plan again.

Fang Sishen raised his head: "Yixin, I know you care about me, but I want to...let this matter go for now."

"Brother, what do you like, tell me the truth."

Avoiding her sister's persistent eyes, she slowly said: "It's not this question... I've thought about it for a long time, but I can't figure out how to live with a strange woman, I..."

Hu Yixin was a little anxious: "Brother! How do you know if you haven't tried it?"

"I don't need to experience the feelings in my heart. I can know it when I think about it. Yixin, when I think about this, I panic, I am very scared, and I can't control it... It is full of shadows before it even started. This is too bad, yes Women are not fair..."

Hu Yixin lay on the table, carefully watching her elder brother: "Brother, are you..."

Halfway through the conversation, each other understands each other in their hearts.

Fang Sishen lowered his eyes: "I don't know...Yi Xin, I don't know...Maybe it's not about the partner, but about myself. Don't worry, I'm fine, but it may take a little time..." His voice lowered, the whole People are sunk in some kind of quiet and deep sorrow.

Hu Yixin couldn't bear to force him anymore, so he changed the subject and talked about work.It is inevitable to talk about the whereabouts of the students Fang Sishen recognized: Liang Ruogu, who was expected by everyone, entered the seed class of the Department of Chinese Studies of the National Higher Humanities College;As for Hong Xinyao, he still doesn't know where he will end up, but his family must have already planned.At the end he laughed and said: "This kid is in a relationship, and lovesickness is very serious. I really didn't realize that he is actually a lover!"

Fang Sishen shook his chopsticks, and a vegetable leaf fell onto the table.He took a napkin and wiped it slowly.Fortunately, my sister didn't pay attention, and turned around to talk about trivial housework.

Living at home during the summer vacation, Fang Sishen silently did housework, went to nursing homes, and helped teachers sort out materials.He was in a low mood all the time, Fang Duzhi thought it was because of Hua Dingsong's illness, he was asking about his health, and he did not doubt that it was him.

The school starts in September, and I still give an introduction to phonology and exegesis for freshmen and sophomores.

Iron-clad battalions and flowing soldiers.It was the first class for freshmen, when they walked into the classroom and saw rows of fresh faces with curious expressions, Fang Sishen couldn't help cheering up.

Roll call as usual.The list is several pages long, and the first time I have to check them one by one anyway.Although it was a routine matter, Teacher Fang occasionally commented on special names and nodded to every student he called.

"...Ge Shining, He Shuhui, Han Bin, Hong Xinyao," read the last one on this page, thinking that such a quaint and orthodox name might be from a scholarly family.Someone answered in a low voice, "Here," and followed the voice to see a tall boy in a white shirt on the side in the middle looking up.

There seemed to be countless balls of light exploding in front of his eyes. For a moment, Fang Sishen hardly knew where he was.