Arty Records

When get out of class was over, the girl in the middle of the front row raised her head and asked, "Teacher Fang, are you sick?"

"Ah, no..." Fang Sishen blinked his eyes, but the hazy and heavy feeling didn't ease at all.The two-hour classes in one afternoon were all taught by inertia, without the usual abundant and restrained passion.Fortunately, the power of inertia is strong enough, and the content is occasionally stagnant, but nothing goes wrong.

The girl tilted her head and looked at him with concern: "It's easy to catch a cold in spring, and sometimes I don't even notice it, so I get caught."

Fang Sishen couldn't help rubbing his forehead: "Maybe, thank you."

The students sitting in the front row are all good students who love to study. This class is in the first grade, and they don't understand or care about the factional disputes in the National Academy of Sciences. The concern conveyed to Teacher Fang is very simple.Fang Sishen braced himself to reply a few words, and followed the students out.

"Teacher Fang, Teacher Fang!" Following the prestige, Jiang Caiyun trotted up to meet her.

After saying hello, Fang Sishen almost blurted out and asked if he had seen Hong Xinyao.It was only when the words reached the tip of his tongue that he came back to his senses and swallowed them abruptly.The two went to school together at noon, and Fang Sishen couldn't remember what they said along the way, or they didn't say anything at all.In fact, he didn't even remember how he got into the classroom, but he was shocked to find the students lined up in front of him, picked up the chalk, and started the class habitually.

"Teacher Fang?"

"Ah..." Fang Sishen apologized, "I'm sorry, I was distracted. What did you just say? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jiang Caiyun looked at him with worried and disappointed eyes: "Are you feeling unwell?"

"No, I'm sorry, I accidentally thought of something else just now."

Jiang Caiyun then said: "That's it. I think that for a master's degree in archaeological Xia language, this year's electives include 'General Theory of Shuowen' and 'Selected Readings of Rhyme Books', but there is a time conflict. I would like to ask you which one?" Doors are more helpful for exams."

Fang Sishen heard it clearly, and shook his head lightly, as if those all-pervasive annoying thoughts could be thrown aside, and he concentrated on answering slowly: "If they are helpful for the exam, they are all the same. Since there is a conflict of time, why don't you change it?" Think about it from different angles, see which one is more beneficial to your future studies, or which course you are less interested in..."

Jiang Caiyun wondered: "Why are you less interested in which class? Shouldn't you choose the class you are more interested in?"

Fang Sishen couldn't help smiling: "This is my teacher's theory. Interest is the best teacher. If you already have the best teacher, the real teacher is not so important. Because you are interested, even if you don't choose courses , and will also focus on self-study. On the contrary, if you are not interested in a subject that you must learn well, you must follow the right teacher."

Jiang Caiyun clapped her hands and laughed, "It makes sense!"

After the conversation, it was time for dinner.Jiang Caiyun invited Teacher Fang to have dinner, Fang Sishen shook her head: "No, sorry, I have other things to do."

Originally, I wanted to distract my mind with conversation, but after standing in the crowd for so long, I became bored for no reason. I just wanted to find the cleanest corner, stay alone, and sort out my chaotic thoughts.

He hurried back to the dormitory and threw himself on the bed with his head in his arms.One thought after another was like a persevering knock on the door, beating in my mind.

"He killed a man."

"How could he kill someone?"

"How could he kill someone?"

…………

He kept repeating to himself: I have to think about it, think about it...until it was dark, I couldn't think of anything.In the end, he just pulled out a book from the shelf with shaking hands, opened it, and forced himself to read it.Those distorted handwriting jumped on the paper, but they couldn't get into his mind.He poured himself a glass of water, drank a few sips, collected himself, and read aloud word by word.

"...The six art groups of books are all about their meanings, but the heavens and the earth, ghosts and gods, mountains and rivers, plants, birds, beasts and insects, strange sundries, royal etiquette, and human affairs in the world are all recorded..."

Gradually, I actually looked into it seriously, and saw midnight in one breath.I couldn't bear it anymore, so I hurriedly fell asleep.Various images emerged alternately in the dream: the dark and upright cliff, the turbid rushing river, and the broken bridge falling silently from a high place, which made him wake up suddenly.It seemed that something important fell into the abyss with the bricks and stones. After a long time, I still had lingering fears and my head was covered with cold sweat.

He got out of bed and drank some water, knowing the origin of the nightmare very well.Looking back seriously, there was actually no one in the dream.And the fear and panic that remained in the depths of consciousness was like a bottomless river, with waves rising again and again.

This day was the morning class, and it was still too early. Although I couldn't sleep, I forced myself to lie on the bed.Closing the eyes, the blurry fragments in the dream immediately became coherent and clear, as if a hand stretched out from the whirlpool, dragging the soul down to sink.

Fang Sishen knew he couldn't go on like this, so he just got up and continued his studies.At seven o'clock, I went to the cafeteria to have breakfast, and my gloomy mind seemed to be forced into the most remote corner by the busy reality.After class in the morning, I read the newly arrived periodicals and magazines in the library for half a day in the afternoon.At night, I was tormented by the problems I had to think about, so I had to read dozens of pages of the book and fell asleep with nightmares.

On the morning of the third day, I was supposed to sort out the classes to be taught in the afternoon, but I was in a daze for a long time without knowing it.After staying for a while, I always felt that I had forgotten something, so I suddenly took out my phone, quickly called up the call log and text message log to check, and sure enough, there was no news from Hong Xinyao.Glance at the date, Thursday, March 3.Staring at the line of numbers on the screen, Fang Sishen suddenly remembered that his birthday is in this month, and it seems to be these few days.

His fingers rubbed against the button for a while, but he didn't dial it in the end.Fang Sishen knew that Hong Xinyao was hiding from him.No, to be more precise, he was waiting for himself.

He killed a man.

He only told himself.

Then, he waited for himself to give him an answer.

How to do?

Fang Sishen found that when he thought about the murder again, his mind became much clearer, and he remembered many details, causes and consequences that Hong Xinyao had said.He even vaguely felt that if he didn't tell himself, maybe the two of them would have celebrated their birthday together for the first time.

He turned 21.And I am over 28 years old.

At the age of 20, those straightforward and rude oaths seemed to still be in my ears.

If...he hadn't told himself...

If time could be turned back, if facts could be forgotten...

Fang Sishen closed his eyes: let me think again, think carefully.

I didn't have a good rest for several days in a row. After the afternoon class, my head was so heavy that it fell straight down.Fortunately, there was no class on Friday, so when I returned to the dormitory, I fell asleep in a daze.It was still a dream repeated countless times, but this time there were some new contents.He dreamed that the gate of the dark city was wide open, and a figure dragged his heavy steps forward, and the heavy fences were blocked one after another behind him. Finally, with a "bang", a pitch-black iron gate descended from the sky, completely blocking the figure.

Woke up with a start, clutching his chest, his heart beating wildly.

"Bang Dang!" With a sound, Fang Sishen almost jumped out of bed because he was out of his mind and felt that the sound was like thunder.It took a long time to realize that the next door probably came in and went out, and his actions were a little rough.

The sky was dark, and after two loud bangs, the outside suddenly became silent.Fang Sishen recalled the last scene in the dream, pressed his heart and asked himself:

——How could you be willing, how could you be willing to hand him over to others for trial?

Unable to hold back anymore, he quickly packed his schoolbag, grabbed his coat and ran out.He rushed to the school gate, saw an empty taxi, and immediately got into it.It's a pity that the evening peak has not yet ended, and the speed slowed down soon.He stared anxiously at the motionless queue of cars, couldn't bear it any longer, paid for the bill, and ran into the nearest subway station.

Transfer, get out of the station, go upstairs, and open the door.It was very quiet in the room.Having not run like this for a long time, Fang Sishen rested for a long time while leaning on the wall.He knew that there was probably no one around at this time, and the sweat and panting were just for self-comfort.

After enough rest, I called my father and said that I would not be home this weekend.Fang Duzhi didn't ask much, just said: "I'll be busy these days, it's up to you whether I come back in these two weeks, but Ching Ming Festival is coming soon, remember to come back early that day."

Fang Sishen responded, and sat in the dark waiting for Hong Xinyao.

Waiting can be frustrating, or it can be calming.Fang Sishen sat on the sofa and waited, thinking about many things.When the time and space of thought expands infinitely, certain specific stages and events can easily become insignificant.When it comes to feelings, when a whole life becomes an attributive rather than a piece of a piece, the worries, shakes, panics, and fears of the past are nothing more than drops of water in a long river, grass on a high mountain, and a pot of vinegar on a feast of life. .

Thinking of vinegar, Fang Sishen laughed.

"Ding Ding Dang Dang", someone took out the key and opened the door. "Crack!" The light came on.

Hong Xinyao was holding the key in his hand, and looked at him stupidly: "You...why are you here?"

Fang Sishen glanced at the clock on the wall, it was almost twelve o'clock.

"Why did you come back?"

"I... I went downstairs to your dormitory..."

Fang Sishen was surprised: "You went downstairs to my dormitory?"

"I stay downstairs in your dormitory every night until the lights are turned off. Today the lights have not been turned on. I didn't see anyone until eleven o'clock. I thought you went home..."

"When did you go?"

"I go there every day when I have nothing to do. Sometimes it's eight or nine o'clock, sometimes it's ninety o'clock. I'll come back when you turn off the lights."

Fang Sishen looked at him, feeling sore in his heart, unable to say anything.

Eyes wide open for a moment.Hong Xinyao suddenly came back to his soul: "Have you eaten yet, let me cook noodles for you?"

Fang Sishen remembered that he really didn't have dinner, so he stood up: "Let me do it."

Young Master Hong timidly followed into the kitchen: "I'm hungry too, can I cook more?"

Fang Sishen nodded, turned on the fire to boil water, then opened the refrigerator to check, and found three eggs and half a wilted vegetable.

Hong Xinyao rubbed against him step by step, and finally hugged his waist while cracking eggs, and buried his head on his shoulder: "Brother, it's great that you're here..."

Fang Sishen put down the bowl and put his hand on the back of his hand.Standing behind him was a lonely and poor child, just like himself.

He said lightly, "After supper later, I have something to ask you."

"it is good."

The two finished their noodles in silence, Hong Xinyao finished washing the dishes silently, and returned to the living room. Seeing Fang Sishen sitting on the sofa, he walked over and sat cross-legged on the carpet in front of him, as if he wanted to continue the unfinished conversation of that day of.He is tall, and this posture is not much different from Fang Sishen.

Fang Sishen's hand still fell on his shoulder: "That day... I was frightened by you, and I didn't understand a lot of words, please tell me carefully again."

Hong Xinyao raised his head: "I regret it. I shouldn't have told you to make you feel bad. Just forget it, okay? Brother, forget it!"

Fang Sishen looked at him firmly: "Then why did you tell me? Did you mean to make me feel uncomfortable?"

"No, I didn't think much about it at that time, I just knew that I had to speak out, I needed to find someone to speak out to. Besides you, who else could I talk to? But," Hong Xinyao clasped his hands into his palms, "Now that I've thought clearly, you just think I'm talking in my sleep. It's not true, it's me talking nonsense. Forget it, brother, please, forget it, okay?"

Fang Sishen was unmoved at all, and his tone was still calm: "Ah Yao, if I told you to surrender yourself, what would you do?"

Hong Xinyao seemed to have expected it a long time ago, and grinned at him with a cruel and bleak meaning: "Brother, you still don't understand, I don't need to do anything. He has no way out, only the last trick left, racking his brains, calculating I don’t know how careful it is. The big truck that broke the railing was an out-of-town vehicle. The camera on the bridge head was broken half a month ago. We set off at six o’clock in the morning. At that time, there was not even a ghost on the bridge. Who knows what fell down What's more, the spring floods came so hard this year that no one dared to go down to search for corpses even in Xiaolang Gorge—it's already March, so what's left? Who in Hejin doesn't know that someone in our family is missing this Spring Festival? I hid my whereabouts to death. My eldest sister searched like crazy, and recently gave up her mind, too lazy to bother. When will Hejin not kill dozens of people because of this or that? Our family will not pursue it, who else will To pursue?..."

The voice gradually became cold: "So, you said, how could I surrender myself? My dad has come out, how could he let me surrender? Believe it or not, even if I ran to the police to confess, I would be sent away safe and sound. go home."

A sneer: "What do you think is the use of surrendering yourself? You just put me in prison, what's the use? You don't want me to learn well-if I can learn well in that kind of place? I wrote it backwards!"

After a while, Hong Xinyao suddenly raised his hand and touched Fang Sishen's face: "It's only been a few days, and you've become so haggard. I shouldn't have kept my mouth shut, you shouldn't have known this at all, This kind of shit has nothing to do with you. I secretly watch you several times at school every day. Seeing you suffering like this makes my heart feel like a knife. Brother, let’s forget it? Okay? Don’t Worry about it, huh?"

Fang Sishen shook off his hand: "You figured this out after hiding from me for three days?"

"Then... what do you want me to do?"

"In vain you still remember that I told you to learn well."

Hong Xinyao straightened up and knelt immediately: "I swear I will never do it again, I will definitely learn well, I will definitely..."

Fang Sishen stared at him firmly, and paused every word: "Hong Xinyao, where are you going to learn?"

"I..." The young face was blank.

Fang Sishen looked at him for a while, and asked softly, "Then, do you know what's wrong?"

"I know."

"Where did you go wrong?"

"I shouldn't kill people. Killing people is against the law. It's wrong to kill people."

"But, didn't you tell me that if you don't kill him, he will kill you?" Fang Sishen closed his eyes, "Ah Yao, what's wrong with you?"

Hong Xinyao stared blankly at him, and yelled suddenly: "I'm right!" Tears flowed down, and he cried hoarsely, "I'm right! I'm right!... They are forcing me, and you are too Come to force me, even you come to force me... woo woo..."

Fang Sishen hugged him tightly and patted his back slowly.When he finally cried enough, he said clearly in his ear: "I know, it's not your fault."

Unexpectedly, when these words came out, the big guy in his arms began to cry again, hiccupping while crying: "Brother... I, er, I killed... er, I killed him... Seeing him fall into the river, I feel like So happy... When I saw you, I remembered, I killed someone, you must not want me... During the Chinese New Year, my eldest sister cried every day, I regretted it, regretted it..."

Fang Sishen said softly: "I think you have a better way, so you don't have to go to this level, right?"

"Yes, I originally thought, keep an eye on him first, and wait for my dad to come out... I won't be so stupid again in the future. I got my hands dirty because of that kind of scum," Hong Xinyao raised his painted face, "Damn it." You are so sad, I regret it to death!"

Fang Sishen nodded: "It's good that you understand."

Pointing at his heart, he drew a circle: "Aren't you going to jail? I'll build you one. This is called a heart prison." Looking into his eyes, "Can you get in?"

"what?"

"You don't have to come in. It's just that from now on, whether you, Hong Xinyao, are good or bad, dead or alive, has nothing to do with me."