old light new bay

Song Heng was on the plane at 06:30 in the morning, and left Shuyueli at [-]:[-], flying to southern Jiangsu.

He purposely kept his voice very low, not wanting to wake Xin Wan up. He hadn't left yesterday, and his tears were already spinning. If he was to meet again, he might shed tears.In this case, Song Heng didn't know whether he would leave or not.

It was still dark at this point, the mist was still wet, and only the street lamps were still shining.

The flight was not delayed. Song Heng got on the plane and checked the text messages before turning off the phone. There was no text message from Xin Wan, maybe he was still asleep.There was one layover along the way. For six or seven hours, he slept with a blindfold on. During this period, he did not dream. When the flight arrived, it was afternoon and the sky was bright.

As soon as the phone was turned on, many text messages flooded in, all of which were from Xin Wan without exception.

- you're gone.

-I got up late and had to eat breakfast for lunch again.

-I went for a walk with the ball, it keeps going around Yingshou, hooligan. [picture]

- did you get off the plane >

That picture is of Qiuqiu, and Xin Wan only showed his shoes, which were the black canvas shoes he usually wears.Song Heng got into the arranged car and replied to the text message.

This is already a practice. He will go back to his hometown every Spring Festival. To be honest, his relationship with his parents is not good. Most of the time, his concern seems to be out of responsibility rather than affection. His relationship with the older generation is better. This is why Song Heng will still come back during the Spring Festival.

The old man was nearly [-] years old, his hair was gray, but he was still healthy, and even picked him up at the door.

"I can't wait at home," Song Heng said helplessly, "I'm not a child anymore."

"I haven't been here for a year, isn't it because I'm afraid that you will take the wrong way?" Grandma complained, "Your grandfather said it, and I just followed."

Grandpa said: "I didn't ask you to come here. You didn't want to come, but it was all on me."

The two old men bickered and entered the room angrily, their nostrils almost flew to the sky, Song Heng wanted to laugh a little, and after coaxing for a while, the matter was settled, and grandma held his hand again , asked: "Go home this time, did you bring your wife home? I heard that your parents set you up on a blind date before, but I didn't hear anything about it."

"Where is the wife from?" Song Heng patted her hand, "Don't worry."

"Boys are fine too," Grandma said again, "Do you have this?"

Song Heng paused, then shook his head: "Not yet."

The old man knew about his sexuality when he was there.

Song Hengshi came out with his family, and mentioned it at an ordinary dinner. The price was hunger, and he couldn’t enter the house for three consecutive days. He slept on the bench in the central wetland park. It was summer, but the park was cool. At night, I still curl up subconsciously. After a few days, the exposed skin is covered with red marks from mosquito bites, and it is easy to bleed when scratched hard.

On the third day, his grandparents flew to visit relatives, and Song Heng was able to go home. His sexuality was no longer a secret in the whole family. His parents asked him to kneel down and admit his mistakes. Song Heng has never been rebellious since he was born. Thoughts, never rebellious, this is the first time they refused to give in, back straightened, looked at them stubbornly, and said: "I'm right."

From the beginning to the end, Xin Wan didn't know about the matter of "coming out". Seeing the small wound on his face, she was so distressed that she stopped laughing and stroked him repeatedly.Song Heng said he scratched it accidentally, he would believe it, said he was stupid, and said, remember to be more careful next time.That was Song Heng's heroism, wanting to protect Xin Wan with all his might, and not wanting any accident to break it.

It's absurd that the older generation accepts it faster than their parents. Maybe it's because they feel sorry for him. He kept kneeling, took the initiative to take him behind him, and gave him ointment afterwards. Grandma kept saying, "Don't make mistakes with your parents." Stubborn, they are just getting angry, just turn around."

"I'm right," Song Heng whispered with hot eyes, "Is there anything wrong?"

"Maybe we've lived a long time and seen a lot. The Great Famine and the Cultural Revolution have come. What's the point of liking a boy? At our age, as long as we are alive and our family is harmonious, we should be thankful. Why bother?" Getting tangled up in little things," said grandma, "my grandson likes it, so it's bigger than the sky, isn't it?"

When I was young, I really felt that love was bigger than the sky, and I was willing to live against my bones for it.

Song Heng had naively thought that nothing could stop them, even though he was isolated and helpless, even though he suffered a lot for it, couldn't find a place to sleep for a while, and never thought of giving up.It wasn't until Xin Wan proposed to break up that he was caught in the rain and had a high fever, and then when he got on the flight abroad, he realized that the love in his youth was pure, but it was also fragile because of its innocence.

"There's no one else yet. Then you have to hurry up," grandma said regretfully, "It's so lively with so many people."

Song Heng nodded and said, "Then I will work hard."

Things in my old home are very complicated, dealing with old things, arranging Spring Festival couplets pendant, just busy for a while, the sky is already dark.Song Heng's parents were on another flight, and they came back after dark. The family sat at the dining table and ate harmoniously, but the other families hadn't arrived yet.

It was hot in southern Jiangsu, and the wind was low at night. Song Heng sat on the long hanging chair in the courtyard and turned on the phone. Perhaps because of a sympathetic heart, Xin Wan just dialed the phone. light on his face.

"Hello, Song Heng."

Song Heng looked down at the withered grass under his feet, and shook the hanging chair: "Well, what's wrong?"

"what are you doing?"

"Blow."

"Isn't it cold?" Xin Wan's voice was a little surprised, "Don't turn around and catch a cold."

Song Heng laughed silently, leaned back on the back of the chair, relaxed, and said in a lazy voice, "Have you eaten yet?"

"I ate it. Auntie came to make it, and I asked why I was alone at home. I ate stewed noodles, and Auntie also made hand-rolled noodles. It was very delicious," Xin Wan said excitedly, "I also asked Auntie taught me, I can do it for you when you come back!"

The rattan wooden hanging chair rang softly, and there was nothing else around except the occasional sound of vehicles passing by. It was so quiet that it made people feel soft in their hearts. As long as Song Heng started, Xin Wan could talk loudly and non-stop, with a very loud tone. Happy, pure like a child, one can imagine his expression, his eyes should be bright.

Suddenly footsteps came from behind, Song Heng said to the other end of the phone: "I have something to do here, hang up first."

Before Xin Wan could respond, footsteps approached, and Song Heng hung up the phone. The woman in a black wool skirt had already walked to the hanging chair, took the empty seat next to her, and asked, "Who are you calling?"

Song Heng turned off the phone screen: "With someone else."

Mother Song asked, "Is it a man or a woman?"

"male."

Silence spread between the two, Mother Song sighed softly for a long time: "You have been against us for so long, you are also tired, and your father and I are also tired. They all say that the family has no overnight feud, but now the family It’s not like a family anymore. At that time, I sent you abroad to study, I wanted to calm you down and stop doing things on your own will, but it didn’t seem to be of any use.”

"It's not impulsive," Song Heng said softly, "It's never been."

"I know you still remember the time your dad beat you, but you didn't do it right either. Obviously you know how much your dad hates you for mentioning this, so you have to mention it again, in that provocative tone."

"Provocation?" Song Heng leaned back in his chair, "I'm just telling the truth, he can't accept it."

It happened at the end of September last year. Shortly after the first blind date, Song Fuhai—that is, his father arranged for him a second blind date. This time Song Heng refused and came out again to welcome him. It was a slap, Song Heng didn't give any response, even ignored the wound, and left straight away.

I only remember that Xin Wan's eyes were red when she applied the medicine to him, and she told him "discomfort", as if it was herself who was hurting.

"Why do you like boys? The acceptance of homosexuality is not so high now. Not everyone can tolerate you like your grandma. If you and your...your boyfriend go out holding hands, you know what others will think Do you?" Mother Song hoarsely said, "Do you know how hard it is to be gay?"

Song Heng interrupted her softly, and said, "Mom, you've been persuading me for several years, and you know what I'm thinking." Looking at her, "I've made up my mind, and I won't change it."

In the end, the dialogue still ended without a problem. It has been more than five years since he was almost 24, and his parents' attitude has softened, but it is still difficult to accept.After Song's mother left, he sat in the courtyard for a long time, his body was full of coldness, and then he went back to the bedroom and called Xin Wan back.

The answer over there was quick, sullen: "You hang on to me."

Song Heng asked: "Are you angry?"

"I'm not angry, I'm chasing you, why am I chasing you when I'm angry, you ran away early," a rustling voice came from Xin Wan, who should have turned over on the bed, "Why did you hang up all of a sudden just now?" Is it? I have imagined a lot of scenarios, and I almost called the police."

Song Heng also lay down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling: "What did you imagine?"

"Thinking about whether you have been robbed, some thieves held a knife against your neck and said, 'Hang up the phone now, or your neck will snap', and also wondered if you were walking by the river, slipping away Slipped into the water and had to hang up the phone."

Song Heng couldn't stop laughing in a low voice, Xin Wan spoke very vividly, "Zi Liu" also added a modal particle, so cute as hell, he turned on the speakerphone, threw it on the bed, got up and went to the closet to get his pajamas.It's not a video, so naturally there's no need to hide anything. He took off his shirt, but the other end heard: "Are you changing clothes?"

"Well," Song Heng threw his jacket aside, "Have you figured out how to chase me?"

"Why did you suddenly say this," Xin Wan hesitated, "I haven't thought it through yet."

"Chasing people can't just talk about these things on the phone."

"Huh? What are we talking about?"

Song Heng turned off the light, and in the darkness and the subtle white moonlight, the sound of breathing was clearly audible, as if they were not so far apart, but just a short distance away, he suddenly said: "Tell me something to make me happy, Xin Wan."

"To make you happy..." Xin Wan said hesitantly.

Will you pinch the corners of your clothes unconsciously?Song Heng thought, maybe he would blush, he was thin-skinned, always blush, nervous, cry, even when he was close, that's why he always teased him, the purpose was not pure.Listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, Song Heng didn't urge him, until Xin Wan said: "Then I said it? But I don't know if you will be happy to hear it."

"Go ahead."

He cleared his throat and said solemnly and softly, "I love you."

Song Heng paused, subconsciously snapped his fingers, his heart beat faster for no reason, bringing a tingling pain, like returning to the time when he was passionately in love.He closed his eyes, and the other end of the phone was still talking: "This kind of talk is so nasty, hey, will you be happy if you are liked? If you are not happy, don't be angry! I will go and look through the jokes..."

"No," Song Heng said hoarsely, "I'm not angry."

"Really? I'm really embarrassed, it's too embarrassing, next time I'll tell a joke, it's fun when I tell a joke," Xin Wan was really shy and didn't want to say more, "Then you go to bed, I Going to bed too, I'm sleepy."

After saying "good night", the phone screen turned off. Song Heng bent his legs and took a long breath, but he still didn't feel sleepy.

He looked at the ceiling and silently said two words with his mouth, which was "baby".

On the third day in southern Jiangsu, it snowed here, and the temperature, which was originally suitable, dropped sharply. When I went out, the wind always blew my ears, and my ears would become chapped and red in less than an hour.

Several other relatives of the family also came, and it became lively immediately, especially a few children, who were running around in the yard, and the rattan wooden hanging chair was also occupied, Song Heng seldom stayed there anymore.

This year's Spring Festival is early, on the [-]th, Song Heng finished the New Year's shopping before all the supermarkets closed, and "Congratulations Congratulations" was always playing on the street.

On New Year’s Eve, the snow was still falling, and the sky was indigo. Dinner started at five o’clock in the afternoon. The table was harmonious, and no one mentioned those topics. The grains stick to the window paper and refuse to fall.

"Are you full?" Grandma touched him with her elbow, "Why are there still three dumplings left?"

"I can't eat anymore, there are too many fillings," Song Heng laughed, "If you still have stomach, you can eat it."

Grandma waved her hand straight away: "Oh, I can't do it anymore. If you eat too much, your father will take me around. I'm an autocratic old man, and I'm exhausted."

"Hey, why did Song Heng go home and not bring a girlfriend home?" The second uncle next to him said, he just drank a bottle of white wine, his cheekbones were very red, and he said with a big tongue, "No Ah, he's 24 and [-], but his aunt gave birth to her daughter when she was twenty."

Song Fuhai's expression was not very good, he poured a glass of beer and gulped down.

"Why are you so anxious," Grandpa said, but he patted the back of the second uncle's hand vigorously, "We old people are not in a hurry, you don't care who they are looking for, you are so anxious, drink yours."

Song Heng's capacity for alcohol is very poor, and he doesn't drink alcohol on non-essential social occasions. On the New Year's Eve dinner table, he is considered clear, sitting there listening to the elders chattering, until the children ran out of the door, he pushed away the chair and said in a low voice. After saying "I'm done eating", I took my down jacket and went out.

The snow is still falling, and a thick layer has accumulated. When you step on it, the shoe prints are trapped, and the red paper for setting off firecrackers is scattered on the ground. It is gorgeous, and the hanging chairs are occupied by children, where they set off firecrackers.When Song Heng clicked on the video call, they were playing fairy wands, and the radiance was dazzling.

"Hey," Xin Wan's face appeared on the screen, with messy hair, a colander in his hand, and the same cotton pajamas. When he smiled, he looked harmless. He rarely made video calls, so he watched it out of curiosity. After a long time, they were so close that even the eyelashes could be clearly seen, like a small fan: "I just wanted to call you, it's snowing over there."

Song Heng leaned against the tree: "Have you eaten yet?"

"I'm cooking dumplings and shiitake meat. My aunt told me to boil them once and then add water twice, so that they can be cooked." There was a sound of running from Xin Wan's side, and he was stirring the water in the pot with a colander. It’s the second time, I don’t know if I can eat it.”

Song Heng looked at his overwhelmed movements: "Stand the phone aside, don't hold it all the time."

The video swayed, and Xin Wan pressed his phone against the pepper pot. In the video, he could see his side face and upper body, busy in the kitchen, staring at the dumplings intently, his cheeks were flushed by the steam, which should be soft. , ran to get the chopsticks again, tasted it carefully, frowned until it was hot, and said with a big tongue: "It's burnt to death."

After the dumplings were served on the table and the fire was turned off, Xin Wan took the time to take the phone and carefully looked at Song Heng on the other end of the video. It was so dark that he couldn't see clearly, and he could only vaguely see the outline of his jaw. He said :"Have you got a meal yet?"

"Eat," Song Heng cut off his next words, "Eat, don't talk."

Xin Wanying was reluctant, but she was very obedient and put the phone aside.When he eats, he is used to chewing on the left side, and a small piece of his cheek is bulged, like a squirrel storing food.Song Heng was grinding stones under his feet, and those children came to make trouble again, asking him for a lighter, and pointing to another boy to complain: "He threw the lighter into the snowdrift, it was soaked in water, and it couldn't be heated by wiping it."

Throwing the lighter to them, Song Heng lowered his eyes and said calmly, "Don't return it to me."

"What are you doing over there?" Xin Wan spoke vaguely, "I heard a child's voice."

"It's just a bunch of annoying spirits."

"You think they are noisy, children are like that," Xin Wan laughed, "Then do you think I talk too much?"

The vision is dim, and the emotions in the eyes can only be seen two or three points. He can only hear Song Heng laughing, and the voice seems to be in his ear, hooked for no reason. Instead of directly answering this question, he asked instead: " What do you think?"

Is the answer easy to guess?Xin Wan just said "I don't know", and concentrated on eating the dumplings. The last two were stuffed into his mouth together, and he threw the empty dish into the sink. He looked at Song Heng carefully with his mobile phone, and asked: "how is your day?"

"Not good." Song Heng said.

"Ah, aren't you happy?" Xin Wan went to the bedroom, closed the door tightly, and didn't let Qiuqiu disturb his call time, and flung herself on the bed, resting her chin on her arm, "You seem to have lost weight, is it my illusion? "

"Not thin," Song Heng said, "Are you fat?"

Xin Wan was shocked and retorted: "I didn't, it's because of the video! I lost two catties!"

Half of his face was buried in the pillow, and from Song Heng's perspective, he could see his exposed neck, which was white, and the shadow hooked into his collar. His voice was low and muffled: "I don't even want to eat, I'm alone What is there to eat... I miss you so much, I always dream of you in my dreams at night, and I wake up without you, I am almost insane, how could I gain weight."

Song Heng asked: "Did you dream of me?"

Xin Wan refused to say more about this topic, her eyes dodged: "I won't tell you."

The kid over there moved his position, and the tree trunk behind him was uncomfortable, so Song Heng walked back there, brushed away the snow on it, sat there and could see the TV tower at night, he said: "Eat well, I'll spend two days." God will go back."

Not under the tree, Xin Wan saw Song Heng clearly now. He was wearing a dove gray turtleneck sweater, his lips were light in color, and there were snow falling on his hair and eyelashes. He was very cool. Xin Wan heard him say: "This Have you opened your bedroom drawer for a few days?"

"A drawer?" Xin Wan was stunned for a moment, "I haven't opened it."

Song Heng said: "Then open it and have a look."

He saw Xin Wan's confused expression, and heard the movement of turning over and getting out of bed, but he didn't make a sound until a surprised voice came from the other end, Xin Wan looked at the screen: "You prepared a red envelope for me?"

"Well," Song Heng said relaxedly, "New Year's Eve gift."

Xin Wan sat by the bed, not as excited and happy as he imagined. He whispered, "I thought no one would give red envelopes when I was already twenty. My grandma was the only one who gave me red envelopes before."

"Aren't you still a child?" Song Heng looked at his obviously red eyes and said, "Put the New Year's money under the pillow when you sleep, and don't have nightmares tonight."

"I'm not a child, and I'm not many years younger than you." Xin Wan still shed tears, a few drops—this was not Song Heng's intention, he rubbed the screen with his fingertips, but it couldn't have an actual effect, Xin Wan Wan couldn't control it, so he didn't care about it at all, and let his tears fall down, looking very pitiful, choked up and said, "What should I do? I owe you more money, and I can't finish it. How long will it take... ..."

"I owe you more." Song Heng's words were white mist, appearing gentle, "Slow down."

Xin Wan kept wiping her tears with her sleeves, the dark blue sleeves were wet with blue and black marks, her shoulders shrugged indistinctly, and said sadly: "I even forgot to prepare a red envelope for you, I have money too..."

Song Heng wanted to laugh: "Yes, I know you are rich."

From the video, you can see the layout of Xin Wan's bedroom. There is an abstract painting hanging on the wall, and the words on the sticky notes are very small.Xin Wan lowered her head, not letting him see her cry, took a few deep breaths, and then said: "Although I don't have as much money as you, I also have money. I will give you a red envelope next year, and let you take it out to eat out and eat." Several barbecues."

"Then I'll wait for next year," Song Heng said softly, "The new year will be safe and sound, don't cry all the time."

"I don't cry all the time. I don't know why. I cry easily when I look at you. It's not my fault." Xin Wan lay down on the bed again, looked at the person on the screen very dependently, and began to call his name: "Song Heng .”

"Ah."

"Song Heng."

"Ah."

"elder brother."

"Ah."

"In the new year, you should also be safe, happy and happy," Xin Wan touched the face of the person on the screen, her eyes were clear because of the water, and she laughed through tears, "Wait for me to catch up with you." You, don't go with others, brother."

Fireworks ignited not far away, blooming splendidly in the sky, the golden white light flickered on and off, the smell of fireworks in the air was obvious, it was the smell of fireworks in the world, and Song Heng's pupils also carried Light, he said, "Well, I'm waiting for you."

The author has something to say: This chapter seems to be nothing to watch, orz has to transition the plot, I really have to wait a few days for the next chapter, and I am writing it.