old light new bay

Someone next to him heard the sound and looked over, his eyes were full of panic and scrutiny, Xin Wan lowered his head again, took a deep breath silently, and told himself to calm down, everything was over, and he didn't need to be sad about it anymore, but his nasal cavity was still there. Sour, his suffering for so long, his sadness and despair for so long, no reason can make up for it, no matter what the banner is.

Suddenly there was heat from the palm of his hand, and Xin Xiangdong patted his head: "I know, you have been wronged."

At that moment, the barrier that had been built so hard was broken. Xin Wan clenched her hand under the table tightly, tears swirled in her eyes, and then wiped them away fiercely. She sniffled her nose softly. Cried, shook his head.

He took the french fries again, and repeated the chewing movement mechanically until Xin Xiangdong said, "When we got divorced, I thought it was going to be hard for you to follow your mother. Take care of you, I still remember taking you to KFC when I was a child, but your mother refused to let me, and even beat you up."

Xin Wan asked, "Then why didn't you want me when you got divorced?"

In the end, he still complained in his heart, which was unacceptable. Although more than ten years had passed, he could still remember his sad mood on the day Xin Xiangdong left. It was a pity, as if something was missing, but it was irreparable.

"I didn't have a job. At that time, the factory laid off workers, and I didn't have a degree, so I was laid off. The court didn't give you to me. They thought I couldn't support me, so they sentenced me to your mother." Xin Xiangdong scratched his head, "But It's useless to fight for it, the law is there."

Xin Wan was stunned for a while before she spoke: "I thought...you didn't want me at that time."

"How can I not want you, you were the most lovable kid in the whole community at that time, I took you out for a walk, who wouldn't want to touch your face, you are white and obedient, very beautiful, many people think you are a little girl Well, being a father is not good, isn't it? I bought sunscreen for the first time, in case you would get sunburned," Xin Xiangdong sighed, "No way, being a father is useless."

Xin Wan suddenly wanted to laugh, it was ridiculous, he didn't know where to start to bear the grudge, to grudge the factory that laid off Xin Xiangdong?Or do you want to bear the grudge against the judge who only knows how to reason?It was too late.If Xin Xiangdong hadn't lost his job that year, hadn't left, but had taken him with him, would he have had a good time, didn't know about the correctional center, and didn't have to worry about other things.

There is no such assumption.

"I'll take care of the funeral for your mother. I wanted to go to the correctional center to pick you up, but I couldn't find you. They said that someone picked you up. I couldn't find out about it in West Bay, so I had to go to the place where I lived before. , I found someone who opened the lock, but no one cleaned up the inside, it was a mess."

Xin Wan was a little surprised: "Don't you live there?"

"How can it be. They are all divorced. What does it look like when I live there, 'doves occupy the magpie's nest'-is this the way to use it? Dad doesn't understand either," Xin Xiangdong smiled honestly, "I told the child he Mom lives in a dormitory and it’s fine, it’s cool in summer, but in winter the heating doesn’t work, and the three-layer quilt doesn’t work.”

I would rather live in a construction site dormitory than move to an empty house.Xin Wan couldn't say what it felt like. Xin Xiangdong had no culture, and he didn't have the capital to talk and laugh, but he had a "gentleman" demeanor for no reason. He said: "You can move there. You and your mother bought that house in the first place. It's nothing." Doves occupy the magpie's nest'. I... I may not live there for a while, and I will live in the school when school starts, so you can live there."

Xin Xiangdong rubbed his hands together awkwardly, and actually said "thank you" to him.There are calluses on the tiger's mouth, and there are obvious cracks on the fingers. Xin Wan reached out to touch it, and asked softly, "Does it hurt here in winter?"

KFC's English songs are on a loop, and the food on the table is eaten, but the family bucket and the like are still left, and no one pays attention to it. Xin Wan listens to Xin Xiangdong talking about what he has experienced, and only needs to nod. .Having not seen each other for so many years seems to be worthless in front of family affection.

At noon, Xin Xiangdong answered the phone, saying that Xiao Ruo had a fever, so he had to rush back early.The uneaten fried chicken was packaged, Xin Wan went to the front desk to ask for a few packets of ketchup, and packed them together: "Doesn't she like ketchup?"

"Hey," Xin Xiangdong laughed until he almost lost his eyesight, "she must be very happy!"

In the end, she carried a big bag, and when she went out, Xin Wan said, "Give me a spare copy of the house key, I don't remember where I put it before. I'll go back and pack my things so you can go in."

The silver-white key was placed in his palm, and the sharp edge still hurt slightly when he clenched his hand. Xin Wan remembered that house—it was an ordinary residential building, often covered with damp water stains in summer. With the Creeper, the front floors shaded them from the sun and were only bright at midday.He spent five years there.

Xin Xiangdong suddenly patted him on the shoulder and said, "Xiao Wan, Dad, let's talk one last time. Don't be too wordy. No matter what, Dad's place will always be your home. If you are tired, remember to go home."

The tears that Xin Wan had finally held back seemed ready to move again, he nodded vigorously, and stretched out his arms to hug him.

Xin Wan didn't go back to Shuyueli immediately, the feeling of fullness in his stomach was so strong that he almost felt nauseous, with the key still in his hand, he sat down on the granite round stone pier next to the bench in People's Square, looked down at the A key, without thinking about anything, let yourself be distracted.

Today's sun is very strong, this kind of light is comfortable in winter.

During the many dark days in the correctional facility, he really wanted to take a peaceful nap, basking in the sun behind his back, without worrying about sudden diagnosis and treatment, and without starving, living a life not as good as an animal.

Is it realized now?Xin Wan opened her hand, and the light passed through her fingers, casting a shadow on the ground.

There was a crowd of people nearby, Xin Wan took out her mobile phone, the light was so strong that the screen could not be seen clearly, and she dialed the number after a lot of effort, the mobile phone was pressed to her ear, and the other end rang three times before answering the phone .

"Hey."

"Hey," Xin Wan had a smile on her face, shaking her legs unconsciously: "Have you had lunch yet?"

"Eat." There was a lot of noise over there, and Song Heng's voice was somewhat drowned out, "What are you doing?"

"What am I doing... I'm here at the People's Square. I just finished eating a KFC. I'm so full. I just sit here to rest and digest my food." Xin Wan said with a smile, "KFC is not good, I like Auntie Made braised noodles."

"People's Square?"

Xin Wan nodded, and realized after a while that Song Heng couldn't see, and added: "It's in the center of People's Square, sitting on a stone pier, it's so cold." He raised his head, squinting his eyes from the sun , the voice was very soft: "I met my dad a few days ago, and I had a good chat with him today, so I went to KFC."

Song Heng didn't speak. After a while, he asked, "And then?"

"Actually, I've been blaming him a lot, blaming him for not wanting me, blaming him for taking away only the suitcase and the tea set in the bedroom when he divorced, but he didn't take me away," Xin Wan blinked vigorously and exclaimed He took a deep breath, "I just found out today that he didn't want me, it's just that he can't do anything."

Song Heng said "um", just listening.

"When my dad was young, his photos were very good-looking, about the same as yours-not as good-looking as yours, and not nearly as good-looking. Now he has a new family and a daughter, who looks very small and cute," Xin Wan said to herself He continued, "Hearing his tone, his wife should be fine too. After dinner today, he told me 'Daddy's here will always be your home', but I definitely can't disturb him, his wife and daughter He will definitely be unhappy, he is living a happy life now, and he is not my father alone."

There were people walking around constantly, but no one had anything to do with him, which made Xin Wan feel lonely for no reason, that emotion slowly overwhelmed him, and his eyes were a little red.There was no echo there, only the faint sound of vehicles passing by, but Song Heng was still listening.

"Are you saying I'm sick? It makes me feel all the time." Xin Wan clenched the phone tightly, her voice still a little choked up: "I feel like no one wants me anymore."

The other side asked softly, "Are you crying?"

Xin Wan touched her cheek: "No, I can't cry easily, I'm not made of tears."

"Then do you want to cry?"

"...Think, don't laugh at me." Xin Wan wanted to ask again, when you will come back, if you hear the news of his return, then he will be accompanied, no matter how long it is.

The surrounding wind was still blowing, the shadows of the trees on the ground were swaying, only a few branches and leaves were left, and just as he was about to speak, he heard the other end say, "Turn back."

Xin Wan was stunned for a moment, then turned her head abruptly, the light flooded into her eyes violently, the whole world was bright white, as if it had faded, only the person in front of her was left, wearing a dove gray sweater, tall and too far away to see clearly Face, but it is still conspicuous and good-looking in the crowd, like a dream that happened in Utopia.The man's cell phone was pressed to his ear.

"If you want to cry, you can come and hug me," Song Heng said, "I still want you."

The author has something to say: Happy New Year's Eve