94 hp Diagon Alley

We'll have to talk later. said Dumbledore softly, "One...two...three..."

Harry had a familiar sensation of a hook jerking behind his navel.The polished wooden floor disappeared from under his feet; the nave, Fudge, and Dumbledore were gone, and he was flying onward in a whirlwind of color and sound...

Harry's feet landed on solid ground; his knees bent slightly, and the golden wizard's head fell to the floor with a thump.He looked around and found himself in Dumbledore's office.

In the days since the headmaster was away, everything here seems to have repaired itself.Those exquisite silverware stood on the slender-legged table again, quietly puffing smoke and spinning.Portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses are dozing in the photographs, lolling their heads on armchairs or leaning against their borders.Harry looked out of the window, and there was a streak of elegant gray-green hanging on the horizon: dawn was slowly coming.

The office is quiet, everything is motionless, only the occasional snoring or sniffling of a sleeping portrait can break the tranquility here.Harry couldn't stand the situation like this.If only everything around him reflected his inner feelings, if only these portraits could cry out in pain.He was walking around this quiet, beautiful office, trying not to think of anything, but he had to think... there was no way to escape... Sirius was dead, it was his fault, all his fault.If he, Harry, hadn't been foolish enough to be taken in by Voldemort's tricks, if he hadn't been unwaveringly convinced that what he saw in his dreams was real, if he'd given even a little thought to what Hermione had said, Voldemort might be taking advantage of his passion for heroism... It was unbearable, he didn't want to think about it, he couldn't bear it... There was a terrible hole in his heart, and it was in this dark hole that Sirius once existed He didn't want to feel it, he didn't want to think about it; he didn't want to be alone in such a large and quiet space, he couldn't bear it-a portrait made a loud noise behind him grunting, and then in a nonchalant tone: "Ah...Harry Potter..."

Phineas Nigellus yawned and stretched, studying Harry with those sly squinted eyes.

"What are you doing here so early in the morning?" Phineas said. "This office is off-limits to anyone other than the legitimate Headmaster. Did Dumbledore send you here? Oh, don't tell me... ' He yawned again trembling. "Another piece of news about my useless great-great-grandson?"

Harry couldn't say a word.Phineas didn't know Sirius was dead yet, but Harry couldn't tell him.If you say it out loud, it will completely end this matter and it will be completely irreversible.

A few more portraits came to life.Fearful of being questioned by them, Harry strode across the room and grabbed the doorknob.But the door didn't open.He is locked in the house. "I hope that means..." said a fat, red-nosed wizard who hung on the wall behind the Headmaster's desk, "Dumbledore will be back among us soon?" Harry turned Turning around, the wizard eyed Harry with interest.Harry nodded.Backhand twisted the doorknob behind him again, but the door still didn't open. "Oh, that's great," said the wizard, "it's no fun without him, really no fun." He sat on a throne-like chair, smiling kindly over Harry's head, This portrait was painted for him sitting on this chair. "Dumbledore has a high opinion of you, I think you know that." He said leisurely, "Oh, of course, he also has a lot of respect for you."

Harry's heart was filled with guilt, writhing and writhing like some huge, heavy parasite.Harry couldn't take it, he couldn't face himself being Harry anymore... he had never been so trapped in his body and mind, never had he wished so strongly to be someone else, anyone else... Emerald flames suddenly burst out from the empty fireplace, and Harry jumped away from the door in fright, staring at the figure spinning rapidly inside the fireplace.When the tall figure of Dumbledore emerged from the flames, wizards and wizards of both sexes on the surrounding walls jerked awake, and many of them burst into cheers.

"Thank you!" said Dumbledore softly.

Instead of looking at Harry right away, he walked over to the perch by the door, took a small, ugly, featherless Fox from the inside pocket of his robes, and placed it gently on the gilded perch. In the plate with fine ash below, this position is where the adult Fox usually stays.

"Oh, Harry," Dumbledore said to Harry at last, stepping away from the young phoenix, "you'll be glad to hear that, none of your classmates will be ashamed of what happened last night And suffer from pain for a long time.”

Harry wanted to say "yes" but no sound came out.It seemed to him that Dumbledore was reminding him of how much damage he had done.Although Dumbledore's gaze was looking directly at him only this time, and his attitude was gentle and kind, and he was by no means blaming himself, Harry still couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

"Madam Pomfrey is treating them," said Dumbledore. "Nymphadora Tonks may need to spend some time at St. Mungo's, but it looks like she too will recover quickly."

Harry noticed that he hadn't mentioned Sirius's name, and that made his last flickering hopes vanish like leaves in the wind.He could only nod his head towards the carpet, which became brighter and brighter as the sky outside gradually brightened.He was sure that all the portraits in the room were listening to Dumbledore's every word, and were wondering where Dumbledore and Harry had been and why anyone had been hurt.

"I know how you feel, Harry," Dumbledore said softly.

"No, you don't," said Harry, suddenly raising his voice forcefully.Intense anger surged within; Dumbledore had no idea what he was feeling.

"Look, Dumbledore?" said Phineas Nigellus slyly, not trying to read the minds of the students.They hate doing it.They'd rather be sadly misunderstood, keep feeling sorry for themselves, and suffer..."

"Enough, Phineas," said Dumbledore.

Harry turned his back on Dumbledore, his eyes fixed firmly out of the window.He could see the Quidditch pitch in the distance.Sirius showed up there once, turned into a shaggy black dog, to watch Harry play... He probably came to see if Harry was as good as James...Harry never asked about him …

"There is nothing to be ashamed of in what you feel, Harry," said Dumbledore. "On the contrary... The fact that you can feel pain like this is what makes you the strongest."

Harry felt a raging rage licking his guts, burning in the horrible hollow, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for saying those innocuous things like he was so nonchalant.

"My strongest point, isn't it?" said Harry, his voice trembling, his eyes still fixed on the Quidditch pitch outside the window, but not seeing it. "You don't understand at all...you don't know..."

"I don't know what?" Dumbledore asked quietly.unacceptable.

Harry turned around, shaking with anger. "I don't want to discuss my feelings, okay?"

"Harry, enduring pain the way you do proves that you're still human! This pain is part of being human—"

"That-I-don't-want-to-have-humanity!" Harry bellowed. "I've had enough, I've seen enough, I'm going to get rid of it. I'm going to end it all, I'm not going to won't care-"

"You do," said Dumbledore.He didn't budge, and his expression was still very calm, almost detached. "You care so much about your feelings that you're dying of pain."

"I—didn't!" Harry screamed so loudly that it felt like his throat was about to burst.For a moment, he really wanted to rush to Dumbledore, beat him up, destroy his calm old face, and let him feel a trace of fear in his heart.

Dumbledore went around behind the table and sat down looking at Harry.

"Let me out," said Harry, in a tone as cold and calm as Dumbledore's voice.

"Wait until I finish," said Dumbledore.

"You - you think I care - I don't care what you have to say!" Harry growled. "I don't want to hear a word of what you have to say!"

"Listen," said Dumbledore firmly, "because you're mad at me, but not nearly as mad as you should be. If you're going to attack me, I know you're going to be doing it very soon now." , I'd be more than happy to let you do that."

"what are you saying--?"

"What happened to Sirius was my fault," said Dumbledore clearly, "or almost my fault, if I may put it that way - I'm not so arrogant as to take full responsibility. Sirius A man of courage, wit, and vigor, men like this in