extinguish the stars

After confirming with Aunt Qiao that Gu Nian was safe and sound by phone, Gu Qinghan was relieved.Gu Qinghan's hand with the needle was pale and blue, and the cold liquid medicine flowed into the blood vessel along the hose, and he felt some pain in the back of his hand.It was snowing outside, he leaned against the bed and looked at the ground in a daze.In fact, for him, this winter is worth rejoicing.

Four years ago at the airport, he missed the deadline Jiang Qi gave him, and he felt that Jiang Qi would never be found again; two years ago, he chased after him to London without hesitation, saw Jiang Qi kissing and tenderly kissing others, and left sadly, believing in despair that they would not be together. See you soon.But now, it was very satisfying to meet Jiang Qi again.But he himself is very clear that every bit of joy and satisfaction hides a stinging needle.

He and Jiang Qi have known each other for more than ten years.Since high school, Jiang Qi has stood firmly by his side.In retrospect, every little thing in my youth hides my partiality.

University, he applied for the local medical school, and Jiang Qi did not hesitate to fill in his volunteers in this city.All was bright and hopeful then.In his sophomore year, his father owed a large amount of debt and died of illness. The debt collectors chased after him viciously, and it was Jiang Qi who faced it together with him.

Jiang Qi's father hated the relationship between them, but Jiang Qi was firm, and he did not violate his own heart when he severed his relationship with his family.

In order to pay off his debts, he had to work part-time instead of attending classes, and Jiang Qi was also working hard to make money to help him reduce his burden.In retrospect, the days at that time were really bitter and sweet, reluctant to eat and not willing to wear, the rented house in winter had no heating, Jiang Qi hugged him to sleep, had a little extra income, Jiang Qi cheerfully went to buy him Love the little cakes.

In fact, even if he has no money and no blessings from others, he is still willing to be with Jiang Qi.Jiang Qi is such a good person.But it was because Jiang Qi was so good that he often felt distressed and guilty. Jiang Qi didn't need to work so hard.

Gu Qinghan covered his face with his hands that didn't get needles, his eye sockets were swollen.He thought of his sunburned skin in the summer of the Jiang period, his broken arm when he fell on the way to deliver food, and his body drenched in the heavy rain.After so many years, when I think about it, I still feel distressed.

He never told Jiang Qi that Jiang Qi's father had met him alone several times, which was naturally not a pleasant thing.It's just that every time, under Jiang's father's verbal guidance, he has to admit that Jiang Qi, who was supposed to have no worries about food and clothing, has endured too many hardships for him that are not his own.

"You two together didn't make Jiang Qi any better."

"Is it your feelings for Jiang Qi to make a proud person dwarf into the dust?"

"I only see that Jiang Qi has lost a lot for doing stupid things for you, but I don't see what you have brought to him. You are not equal."

Words like these stabbed his heart like a knife.It was he who overestimated himself. During his relationship with Jiang Qi, he thought he was firm enough, but the most commonplace question had already shaken him, and he dragged Jiang Qi down.But he couldn't bear it, Jiang Qi loved him so clearly and passionately, and he also surrendered himself wholeheartedly.I really can't bear to let go.

Then one day, Yan Jin came back from school in other cities.The cheerful and lively girl in the past is so haggard and pale that it is shocking.After receiving the message, Gu Qinghan rushed to the hotel where she was staying, and when she opened the door, she hugged her tightly.

Gu Qinghan lost his mother when he was very young, and it was his neighbor Yan Jin's mother who took care of him like a real son. The delicious meals after school, the sweaters he prepared when the weather was cold, every bit of it was kindness.Like Yan Jin's siblings, Jiang Qi was sometimes jealous of Yan Jin's existence.

Yan Jin sat across from him, not saying a word, just shedding tears.

At dawn, Yan Jin was about to go home, Gu Qinghan helped her carry her luggage to the hotel entrance, and met Jiang Qi who came to deliver food.

"Yan Jin?" Jiang Qi was surprised and confused.

Gu Qinghan's expression was not very good either, he shook his head, "I'll talk about it later, I'll accompany her home first."

From that day on, everything went in an irreversible direction.

There was a deep pain in the heart, Gu Qinghan woke up from the past, leaned over and held it down.Only then did he realize that the ring on his ring finger was missing.

The door of the ward was opened, Gu Qinghan looked up, Jiang Qi walked in, his face was calm, his eyes were a little blue.

"Your ring," Jiang Qi put a ring on the bedside table, "it fell into my pocket by accident yesterday."

Gu Qinghan took it carefully and put it on the ring finger of his left hand.

"Wedding ring?" Jiang Qi asked.

Gu Qinghan didn't answer, he was immersed in the past for too long, his emotions were sensitive and unstable, and the circles of his eyes were slightly red.He lowered his eyes and saw that Jiang Qi's hand was empty.

"Thank you yesterday," Gu Qinghan said, his voice still hoarse, "It seems that I always owe you, and I feel guilty."

Jiang Qi smiled lightly, not knowing what emotion it was, "I planned to take a look last night, but Lin Chen—you've seen him, he has a fever and is not feeling well."

Gu Qinghan nodded, "I shouldn't have troubled you in the first place." He said so calmly, only he knew how sour his heart was.

"He treats you very well?" After a long time, Gu Qinghan still couldn't hold back, and asked softly.He looked at Jiang Qi with a smile, but felt his eyelashes tremble.

"He has been by my side for more than two years." Jiang Qi said.

Gu Qinghan lowered his eyes, looked at the thin ring on his ring finger and was silent for a moment, "I know," he said, and then smiled softly, "It's pretty good, Jiang Qi."

Jiang Qi didn't speak any more, didn't think too much about what was behind the three words "I know", and just stood in front of him.

The atmosphere suddenly became a little weird, Gu Qinghan coughed, "Go and work if you have something to do, I want to sleep for a while."

Jiang Qi hummed, then turned and left.

Gu Qinghan was lying on the hospital bed with his eyes closed, his breathing was a little short and disordered, he felt a pain in his heart, a pain that even he was helpless as a doctor.

After Jiang Qi left, Gu Qinghan started feeling dizzy and feverish again.

The past was like a nightmare that he couldn't break free from, binding him tightly.

That day he sent Yan Jin home, but when he opened the door, he found Yan Jin's mother looked haggard, and upon questioning, it turned out that she was already terminally ill, and she didn't even have the energy to criticize Yan Jin's willfulness for suddenly dropping out of school and returning home.

Gu Qinghan walked back in a depressed mood, thinking of Yan Jin who was devastated, thinking of Yan Jin's mother who had already entered the countdown of life.This sense of powerlessness of not being able to see clearly made him feel colder and colder.Jiang Qi didn't know when he found him, walked up to him, held his hand, and took him into his arms. Gu Qinghan raised his head and smiled at him, his expression a little unhappy.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Qi asked.

Gu Qinghan shook his head, "Jiang Qi, I just suddenly discovered that sometimes it's unreasonable to get together or separate."

"Stupid," Jiang Qi held his cold face, and looked at him tenderly and earnestly, "Even if we can't help each other, as long as we are determined and don't betray each other, then we won't be separated."

Gu Qinghan looked into his eyes, then smiled softly, "Yes."

"Is there something wrong with Yan today?" On the way back together, Jiang Qi still asked worriedly.

"It's her private matter." Gu Qinghan didn't explain much.

It was also that night that he accidentally discovered the recommendation letter and application form that Jiang Qi had hidden in the dictionary. It was Jiang Qi's tutor who had won him the qualification to study in foreign universities.But the registration form that was supposed to be voted out had accumulated dust, and the information column was hidden in the corner empty, and the deadline had already passed.Gu Qinghan held the two thin sheets of paper and slowly squatted down. He felt his chest was suffocated and his heart was throbbing with pain.Jiang Qi was still smiling outside and asked him what he had for dinner, but he was so heartbroken that he couldn't respond.

"Why?" He asked Jiang Qi, "Why did you give up such a good opportunity?"

Jiang Qi took the form letter in his hand, and said calmly, "It's nothing, studying abroad is not my intention, you know me," he smiled and pulled Gu Qinghan away, "I aim to start a business and make money. "

Gu Qinghan's breathing was not smooth.

How could this not be Jiang Qi's ambition?With such a hard life, he also takes his studies seriously, no worse than others.Even if he did not choose to study abroad, he carefully kept the recommendation letter and application form.

"Is there any chance of redemption?" Gu Qinghan asked him.

"It's been a long time overdue, don't care about this, it doesn't matter to me anyway."

Gu Qinghan lowered his head, endured it for a long time before speaking, his eyes were red, "Jiang Qi, your father is right, you have done too many stupid things when you are with me."

"Have you met my dad?" Jiang Qi asked, "When?"

"Many times," Gu Qinghan replied, "I believe it now, we are indeed unequal, you gave up so much for me, and I can give you nothing."

Jiang Qi finally couldn't hide his indifference, "What nonsense are you talking about?" His complexion also darkened, "What is unfair, I love you, and I would be willing to give everything for you, as long as you care about me, that's enough Yeah. Why do you care what other people say?"

"He's not someone else, but your father." Gu Qinghan looked into his anxious eyes, "He said these words for your own good, but I seem to be too selfish and cowardly. I enjoy your goodness, but I can't bear to push you away so that you don't get stuck in the mud under my feet."

"Jiang Qi—" Gu Qinghan took a deep breath, "Perhaps it will be better for you to leave me."

"Gu Qinghan." Jiang Qi held his shoulder, "You are wrong. I don't need anyone to do my best, I just listen to my own heart. I care about you and think you are worth it, so no one will Can change my will."

This conversation did not yield results.But once the underlying problems are brought to light, it can no longer be whitewashed.

A cold war started between them.

It was what happened later that really made Gu Qinghan ruthless.

Jiang Qi was seriously injured.He was mistaken for Gu Qinghan by the debt collectors, and he was surrounded by a group of vicious gangsters when he collided with words.

After receiving the news, Gu Qinghan rushed to the hospital, but was stopped by Jiang's subordinates.

"Jiang Qi—" He was so anxious that he called Jiang Qi's name one after another, hoping to get his response, but he couldn't break free from the obstruction.

It wasn't until a nurse called for family members that Gu Qinghan rushed in.He saw Jiang Qi, who had always been healthy and strong, lay dying on the push bed, with blood all over his body and face.

"Jiang Qi..." Gu Qinghan felt blood dripping from his body, "Jiang Qi, wake up..."

But the comatose person didn't give him any response. He held Jiang Qi's blood-stained hand, which was already cold.

"Where are the family members? The family members of the operation risk notification form come to sign." The nurse looked anxious and serious. "The injury is on the head and chest cavity. The situation is very dangerous."

Gu Qinghan stood up in a daze. He wanted to take the pen from the nurse's hand, but found that he had no qualifications to sign it.

"Who are you, the wounded?" The nurse saw that he hesitated, and asked, "Aren't you a family member?"

"I can assure you..." he said breathlessly.But the nurse shook her head.

"...His father is already on the way," Gu Qinghan replied again, his eyelashes were wet, and he choked up, "Can you rescue him first, save him first, he really bleeds a lot..."

The nurse was also anxious, "Let me tell the doctor again, you should pay the surgery fee quickly, so as to ensure the speed of his first aid process."

Gu Qinghan stumbled to the payment office, feeling desperate for the first time, he was not qualified to sign to guarantee Jiang Qi's life, and he was so shy that he couldn't even pay for the surgery.Jiang Qi almost lost everything for him, but he watched Jiang Qi lose his vitality little by little, but he was helpless.

Fortunately, Jiang Qi's father arrived in time.Gu Qinghan looked like a man who had lost his soul, his face was pale and his figure was shaking. He watched Jiang Qi's father sign and asked his subordinates to pay the fee.

When Jiang Qi was sent to the ICU, except for the swollen and purple wound on his face, there was no human color on his face.Gu Qinghan's heart was about to break, and he stood in front of the glass coldly looking at him.

"Are you trying to kill my son?" Jiang Qi's father asked him.

"Because he is my son, so even if he disobeys me again, I will still save him. This time I came here, what about next time?" He asked, "Next time, will he survive until I come? "

The calm and serious father's voice suddenly trembled, "I raised him so much because I wanted to see him not cherishing his own bruises?" He asked Gu Qinghan, "Won't my heart feel bad?"

Gu Qinghan didn't speak, just quietly looked at the scarred Jiang Qi on the other side of the glass, he blinked lightly, and big tears fell down.

Does he really want Jiang Qi to cut off his return and abandon the way forward for him?

"That's all I say, you choose."

Jiang Qi's father turned to leave, but heard a soft voice behind him, "I understand."

"I understand," Gu Qinghan said, "I won't see Jiang Qi again." His tone was calm, but his heart was throbbing with pain.

In Jiang Qi's clothes, he found a broken ring with half a ring, probably due to Jiang Qi's swollen finger. He cut off the original ring for first aid, and the other half of the ring was lost somewhere.

Gu Qinghan clutched the half circle of blood-stained ring in the palm of his hand, and left the hospital without looking back, crying all the way.

He is ultimately a coward.