[Zhongyingmei] I don't want to save you today

After taking that difficult first step, after that period of hardship passed, everything behind seemed logical, and everything went smoothly—he got the top 5.00% ranking and was selected for AIME.He also passed the invitational competition and qualified for the US Mathematical Olympiad.As if the goddess of luck finally found her most loyal believer and gave her eyes, Tyche from New York held the horn of abundance and generously gave his share of this year's good luck.

Half asleep and half awake, he seemed to hear someone say softly: "Take it, my poor child."

The memories were stirred together and gradually became cloudy.The formulas are dismantled and reassembled, turning into vague and distorted sentences, then the meaning is weightless, the truth disappears, and everything is just the dust in the light, the particles in the universe.With a splitting headache, he dreamed of Tai Anna's face again, but due to the long time, the lines and outlines were blurred, and when he desperately opened his eyes to see her smile clearly, he was horrified to find her face The mottled ones are numbers and symbols one after another, and even the curved corners of the mouth are covered by a "Π".

He raised his hand to erase the ugly marks on her face, but he couldn't reach her, and every time he was about to touch her, she was pulled back by something.Her figure was getting further and further away, until finally he could only see her expression full of symbols.

Taina smiled contemptuously, and her indifferent expression overlapped with the faces of the crowd around her before. Tens of thousands of Taina appeared at once, and it seemed that Taina disappeared into the sea of ​​people.She opened her mouth, but it sounded like 1 people were speaking, a low-pitched male voice mixed with a shrill female voice: "Wake up, you have no future!"

"Wake up, king?"

A slight shaking rescued him from this terrible dream, and he opened his eyes sleepily, and he saw Edward watching him with concern.

"Are you okay? You look... a little bad." Edward frowned, worried about his state, he seemed to want to persuade him not to push himself so much, but he still didn't speak—maybe he felt The relationship wasn't that good—so he slowly withdrew his hand.Loosening his brows, Edward smiled lightly, and it could even be said that he was a little embarrassed. The stagnant atmosphere just now loosened. He pushed him and said, "There is a red-haired girl waiting for you outside, go quickly." .”

Still not fully awake from that dream, he nodded in response to Edward's kindness, closed his notebook full of records, and walked out the door.

It's funny to say, although he encountered a lot of malice in various aspects when he first started on this road, but when he entered the final team, he was surprised to find that the more he went forward, the inexplicable malice actually became less, at best Just ignore you.Most of the people are actually very friendly, and some people just look indifferent, but in fact he may be just not good at speaking and burying his head in questions—not to mention that so many team members, including the instructor, are all Asian—it’s true Accidental irony.

Think about him who was young and nervous when he participated in the competition for the first time, waiting alone in the hall in panic, watching the forbidden door slowly open, and the people around him rushed in with confidence, leaving him hesitantly walking towards himself Unknown future.That picture is too long ago, the edges are blurred and the color is white, like a fragile old photo that has not been properly preserved. In retrospect, it is almost a thing of the previous life. It was buried six feet below the ground together with the previous embarrassment and embarrassment. every day.

But who will come to him?

An unlikely answer loomed in his mind—but she wasn't—

He persuaded himself not to think about it, Tai Anna has been busy bringing in a new girl recently, and she is so busy that she won't be free...

It's really her.

Unknowingly, Wang slowed down, and finally stood in a daze about seven or eight meters away from her.The girl in front of him was wearing the long red dress he bought with the bonus he got for the first time—it was a warm color similar to her hair. She was holding a bag in both hands, kicking her own calf boredly.Her shaggy curly hair was loosely braided and tied with a flowing ribbon, hanging down her back. A thin belt accentuated her slender, straight figure and made her legs look even longer.The girl has fair complexion and graceful lines, standing there like a fairy who has fallen out of an oil painting.

He raised his legs mechanically and walked in slowly, feeling as if he had sunk deeper into a dream, being wrapped bit by bit by cotton candy, suffocating and sweet.

"You're here!"

Sensing something, Tyana lifted her head and smiled happily at him.

He didn't know why, but he suddenly felt more tired, and then panicked about his own state - it wasn't like this, he should be happy and relaxed for her arrival.

Tai Anna frowned worriedly, and asked, "What's wrong with you? Did you work too hard?"

The staff members and other contestants passing by looked at this seemingly completely disharmonious combination in surprise. Wang turned his face away in a self-defeating manner, and for the first time did not answer Tai Anna's question.

He knew what the people around him were thinking: an Asian guy who looked skinny and bookish, and so...

He didn't finish the sentence masochistically, but just whispered annoyedly: "I'm a little tired today."

Tai Anna's expression gradually solidified, and then peeled off piece by piece. She quickly adjusted her expression, but Wang knew that his words hurt her, because the light in her eyes dimmed little by little, leaving only Ruoyou If there is no water light.

Say something, you idiot, say something to let her know it's not her fault.

Tai Anna paused, looking at a loss, she hesitated aggrievedly: "Is it because of me... did I cause you trouble?"

Wang shook his head, but he didn't want to talk anymore, and he dealt with her wholeheartedly. He only remembered that Tai Anna gave him the bag hesitantly in the end, and said softly, "Then you have a good rest."

How did things become like this?Returning to the original seat in a daze, he lowered his head and opened the notebook, ready to review it again, but it didn't work at all. The numbers and symbols hovered in front of his eyes, but they just didn't enter his mind.He could only keep thinking of Tai Anna's lost and puzzled smile before she left, and her back as she turned and walked away.And he picked out another Tai Anna in his dream, with acrimony, fierce eyes like his stepmother, disdainful and indifferent mouth - but this is not her.Even though he is confused and confused now, he still can't make a mistake, this is not his little squirrel, and he can picture his little squirrel's warm smile in the air with his eyes closed.

But even if Anna is so good, he still...

But the more he thought about it, the more tired he felt.He seemed to hate her a little bit again, hated her indiscriminate gentleness to the point where he was in a hurry, hated her not caring about other people's eyes, hated her always innocent and fearless appearance.

Why should you be so nice to him?He except... But is Anna the one who approached him for his numbers?

Of course not.

Two kinds of thoughts pull him left and right, he is powerless to resist, he can only let himself sway in this complicated vortex, this person's thoughts, that person's thoughts, this person's eyes, that person's expression, until In the end, Anna standing in the center of the vortex looked down with pity, just like the gods carved on the stone wall hundreds of meters away in his hometown, untouchable and unthinkable.

His head seemed to be hurting again, and he felt he needed some sleep.

The author has something to say: transition chapter

Although Wang's feelings here are actually a bit strange, they are actually not difficult to understand.This is a manifestation of a serious lack of security in a person who has been treated maliciously since childhood, and he will doubt the goodwill of others.Here he suspected that Anna was just pitying him, or trying to take advantage of him (although his rationality knew otherwise), but he was still very tired, so he suspected the past, so his attitude towards Anna became cloudy.In fact, it is reasonable to say that here Anna should keep approaching him and slowly pull him out. Unfortunately, Anna is also a normal girl. Although she is really kind, no one likes maliciousness for no reason. Anna will definitely do it slowly. Tired, and then want to run away.So it's really pitiful here, constantly loathing myself more, then doubting others, feeling inferior and feeling unworthy of being loved, but wanting Tai Anna's care and attention.A little bit like that kind of girl who is very emotional, do you love me or not?Then test the bottom line, but love will be tested, so no one pulls him in the end. Emm actually said that a little bit like Snape and Lily in HP, but not completely.

Therefore, the shadow of childhood will really accompany all aspects of a person's life, from personality to conduct in the world, some people are like a bottomless pit, and they must constantly absorb love from others in order to survive, which is really tiring.Why