midsummer night

For He Xiyuan, missing many things is missing, and there is no reason why everything can come again after reunion.

If he was younger, he could slowly regain the emotional projection he once had, but after so many years, He Xiyuan has almost forgotten the feeling of liking anyone in the first place.

Once that emotion is lost, it will never come back, and it will never be learned again.This is not anyone's fault, but the result of many factors.

He couldn't tie his future to an accidentally fertilized embryo, it was too unfair to him and the child.He really has almost nothing, and he has never liked other people's cubs, and even suspects that he will hate the children after birth.

He doesn't need Lu Chengfeng to give him anything, whether it's emotional or financial, or some kind of desire to protect his offspring.

He Xiyuan didn't want to imagine that the person he had loved for many years was as despicable as most Alphas, so he would rather believe that Lu Chengfeng wanted to keep the embryo because of the protection of offspring rather than plunder.But in the primitive desire of human beings, reproduction and resistance to death are always interlinked.

In the name of protecting Omega, Alpha and the power system will do everything possible to imprison the other party and plunder the fruit of fertility. Omega's body may be controlled by strange pheromones at any time; they are required to reproduce, but they are not allowed to have the right to freely reproduce.

Emotions are bound to pheromones, fertility is bound to the marriage system, and Omega's body, life, and energy are exploited under the guise of love.The purpose of marriage is only to satisfy the Alpha who has no fertility and get a definite offspring.

……

He heard Lu Chengfeng's voice coming from the other end of the microphone: "Xiyuan, I can only guess what happened in the past. It's no coincidence that we have been so close for so many years. You didn't say it before, and it's not too late to say it now." .Is there anything you want besides what you don't want?"

He Xiyuan was quiet for a while, as if thinking, and then said: "I want to be free." As if knowing that Lu Chengfeng understood, he explained a little, "The senior is an Alpha, and most Alphas can't understand our lack of freedom."

Lu Chengfeng said: "You don't need to be afraid of not being free."

He Xiyuan's warm and peaceful voice was a little hoarse, "It's not that I'm afraid, I'm just not ready to give birth."

"Fertility is a physiological function, the same as estrus. I don't reject childbearing, what I reject is marriage. I probably have no way to have you and the child. Even if I have both, how long can I stay with me? Even if the past and present are Honey, what will the future hold?"

He had nothing to lose, but if he gave birth to a child, he might lose everything.

He Xiyuan was already very tired, he seemed to be asking Lu Chengfeng, but also himself.Lips trembled, eyes were sour, tears slid down his cheeks to his chin and onto his clothes.

He didn't listen to Lu Chengfeng's answer, he just buckled the phone on the bed sheet, and never listened to the voice from the microphone.He got up a little, reached out to take out the paper on the bedside table, and wiped his face.

He said things that he had never said during the several months of getting along. Those words had taken root in his heart for many years, and the first time he said them was actually to Lu Chengfeng.He had a dizzy feeling of uprooting the most real thoughts in his heart, and even regretted it instantly after he finished speaking.

Perhaps the few salvageable nodding acquaintances they had left would be lost.

Lu Chengfeng didn't interrupt him either, perhaps because there was no need to interrupt him anymore.

It doesn't matter whether you love it or not, He Xiyuan never thought that he would have a long-term partner, but if it was Lu Chengfeng, he could almost be sure that he would like to live by his side for the rest of his life.

He was more afraid that Lu Chengfeng would not love him, or had never loved him, than that he would not love Lu Chengfeng, and that the child would be separated from him in the future.Then what is left of him, an empty body and the most embarrassing ending of years of emotional sustenance.

He Xiyuan took out a few pieces of paper to wipe his face, but the more he wiped, the more water gushed out of his eyes.He kept drawing paper and failed to wipe it clean, sucking his nose, his eyes were about to swell.

Probably because he hasn't responded for too long, and the call seems to have been hung up.When the phone started to vibrate on the bed, He Xiyuan never picked it up again.

He has already said what he should say, and now he needs a quiet environment and more time.Amidst the severe headache, he walked to the table and picked up the paper medicine box as if guided by his intuition.

The round, light yellow tablet was wrapped in plastic and tin foil, only the size of his fingernail, but it could dissolve the gestational sac in his body and stop the development of the embryo.

The first embryo of his life was so fragile that two small pills could stop everything.

Lu Chengfeng stood in the meeting room downstairs of the hotel, He Xiyuan's voice was cut off from the phone, and he couldn't break in.

There was the housekeeper and his father's friend in the conference room, and his lawyer was on the video call, but he didn't think those people could change anything.

When I looked around in a daze, I only thought of my mother.

Zhu Yannian usually received calls from Lu Chengfeng mostly as greetings, but today his voice sounded different from usual.

Lu Chengfeng's voice was very low: "Can I ask you a question about Leia?"

His tone sounded low and hasty, Zhu Yannian thought he was probably here to question himself, Lu Qian also asked her about Leiya in a similar tone back then.

Zhu Yannian replied casually: "What do you want to know?"

Lu Chengfeng paused for a moment and then said: "I want to know, if there was no Leia back then, would you still have divorced your father? You were pregnant at that time, and the other party was not your spouse, right?"

Zhu Yannian paused for a while, not thinking about his question, but thinking about Lu Chengfeng's motivation for this question.The answer has been obvious for so many years, and she doesn't care about the comments and gazes of the people around her.

Zhu Yannian said: "You probably already know the answer. My choice back then was actually very simple: I needed to regain the freedom to reproduce. As long as the marriage survives, I will probably never be free. Any relationship that requires official permission is itself unnatural. Yes. If I don't get divorced, I will stay in prison forever and lose the ability to dance."

Lu Chengfeng asked in a low voice: "Because I chose it myself, my mother probably likes Leiya a little bit more, right?"

Zhu Yannian said: "You and Leya are both my children, and they cannot be defined by simple liking, but Leya's existence is more unified with the fact that she is my child."

Zhu Yannian continued: "You are a very good child, but when you were born, your name and identity were taken away from me. If you were the only child without Leia, I would still divorce, It has nothing to do with finding other partners later on."

It doesn't matter who she fathered Leia with.One of the reasons for choosing Beta over Alpha is because even though Beta's partner makes it more difficult for her to conceive, the probability of having Omega offspring is higher.

Zhu Yannian said: "As for why I seem to be closer to Leia, this is actually the same as you are closer to your father. We all see our own shadows in each other. Human selfishness always has greed and fear to carry The offspring of their own genes are resistant to death, and the existence of children gives them an illusion of their own genetic immortality. But getting offspring is cheap and risk-free for many Alphas, and they don't need to directly participate in the reproductive process, because all the pain and risks are borne by The other bears."

"Most Alphas have the concept of self since they were young, and know how to seek the best interests. Omega will always be taught to give up and sacrifice, to consider others, Alpha's partner, children and parents, but not for themselves. I don't want my daughter to think about anyone, she should live her life the way she wants."

"Even if I have been lucky enough in my life not to miss the opportunity to become a dancer because I grew too tall or started too late, I still hope that Leia can have the life I have lost and never experienced."

When Zhu Yannian got married, he was probably at an age of loneliness and fear.Her loneliness could have been resisted with her companions. There are Omega and Beta in similar situations in the dance troupe, many of whom have crossed their biological age and physical pain and stayed on stage.

In her lonely situation, Lu Qian did not encourage her to seek the company of others, but ended her pursuit in the first half of her life by inviting her into marriage.

At that time, she was indeed not young anymore. She wanted to have a child and needed company, and she did not reject Lu Qian.Her ideas are too easily taken advantage of by Alpha.

After so many years, Zhu Yannian can say these words to Lu Chengfeng, because her children have grown up.She has danced on stage for many years, and is still active on stage and in dance classrooms. The career she loves will always be with her for the rest of her life.

She is calm most of the time, and the public opinion around her no longer has any inward pressure on her heart.

Husband and father don't mean much to her. If the son inherits the will of husband and father, although she will feel extremely regretful, she can choose not to.

When he was young, Lu Chengfeng was attached to his mother just like all children, but in the end Alpha would probably go to find his father and uphold the so-called father's justice, just like the question he asked her on the phone.

After hearing her words, Lu Chengfeng said in a slow and hoarse voice: "I didn't come to question you, but there is one thing I didn't tell anyone, including my father." He paused, and then said again, "Because I don't Think he can give me some meaningful advice."

Zhu Yannian was a little surprised and asked, "Really, what happened to you?"

Lu Chengfeng: "My Omega is pregnant, but he neither wants a child nor me. I'm standing downstairs in the hotel where he lives, but he doesn't want to meet. I don't know what else to do."

Zhu Yannian: "..."

The housekeeper in the meeting room did not make a sound, and the lawyer connected to the phone did not speak. The picture was almost still, and there was a sense of freezing in the air.

She was quiet for a while and then said: "I heard what Leiya said a while ago, and it seems to be true. Over the years, most of your contacts have been rumors, so I haven't verified them. But why are you pregnant? How did you get together? of?"

Lu Chengfeng said: "In fact, we have known each other for many years. We met at the workplace in St. Gettysburg last year. We haven't been together for a long time. He didn't tell me when he was pregnant, so I can only speculate. Pregnancy is about five to six weeks."

Zhu Yannian: "Did you not use contraception?"

Lu Chengfeng: "It's used, but maybe some measure failed, or it could be some other accident."

Zhu Yannian thought for a moment and said, "He doesn't want a child, there must be his reasons."

Lu Chengfeng: "Probably because I don't like children that much, or I'm not ready for it."

Zhu Yannian: "What about you? You want him to have a baby?"

Lu Chengfeng: "I hope he can think about the child again, and also think about me."